I think it is classic Lisanti Land time scheme that I am posting October’s Power of Ten list on the first of November. My excuse: too much party and real lack of motivation in life. Wait is that an excuse or my modus operandi? Whatever the case its my blog and I do what I want. I mean c’mon the last blog I wrote was about having assholes for fingers. Enough said. Anyway October’s power ten garnishes two UCB points upon my current housemate and Wild Cat partner in crime Kooky Kyle.
1. Bosses – Bosses fucking suck no matter how you try to disguise it. Fact of the matter is if someone has the power to tell you what to do and your living relays on that it sucks. Unfortunately that is how the real world works. I have been a boss and I am sure my employees hated me too. As far as the slang term “Boss” goes I cant stand it and when I am called such it usually sends me up into a fit of rage.
2. Job Hunting – Pounding the pavement is tough especially in today’s weak ass economy. Luckily I have a job and whenever I am in need thanks to some of the insanity on craigslist I always seem to find work. Hey if the job hunt wears you down you can always join the rest of the unemployed losers down on Wall St.
3. John at New Jetty – New Jetty is this piece of shit wave I frequent in Ventura. Most times it is no more then a boostable close out. The place reminds me of New Jersey and usually if I’m not at Rincon then New Jetty is where I can be found. Every time I surf there with Mauriello he ends up getting all the best waves of the day while I grovel on garbage all session. It got to the point where I just started burning him on the good ones cause I am an asshole.
4. Gas Prices – Gas prices are a mystery to me. When I was in High school I used be able to buy gas for .85 cents a gallon. Now its nearly four bucks a gallon. I know oil is a limited resource and all, but I do not believe it is that limited. Also did we not go conquer like half the Middle East after 9/11? I think gas should be a hell of a lot cheaper.
5. The Plumbing in Lisanti Land – My apartment has by far the most ass backward plumbing known to man. Its all old metal piping from the fifties and every time I need any kind of plumbing service I end up with a giant whole in the wall and a bill for over a few hundred dollars and before that happens I always find myself swimming in a giant pool of sewerage. I am on the first floor and my plumbing is the end of the main line for the entire building. When there is a clog you do the math on how much waste backs up on my floor. Hey at least I have an ocean view.
6. Fleas – Fleas suck. I brought home a baby possum two years ago I found in the middle of the street. Since then I have been plagued with fleas and so has poor Alfie. They suck and are impossible to get rid of. Last time I set off eight bombs in my small apartment and nearly killed myself, yet the little fuckers still prevailed.
7. A Love Supreme – In 1965 Coltrane released A Love Supreme. It was the first time he took a step away from his hard bob roots and began the free jazz career that changed the face of jazz forever. It is a pretty bad ass album.
8. West Swells – Ahh west swells, they are the best out here and also elusive as hell. When its on it makes for the best surfing here in Santa Barbara then anyplace else on the California coast. Too bad we only see like three a year.
9. Funny Things Homeless People Say – The homeless are like children. They say the darnedest things. The difference is you never know when a bum might shank you. I guess one must feel the same about children these days as well.
10. “What is the Worst that can Happen” – This is pretty much my official catch phrase that I use to push myself and others over the edge on a questionable decision or situation. I sort of feel like everyone should subscribe to this mantra. I think it would make everyone’s lives more interesting. I mean seriously what is the worst that could happen?