If you have not noticed the amount of blogs featured here on SurfingRuinedMyLife.net have become a bit limited, sort of like a fine vintage of a great bottle of Bordeaux. Ok its not really like that at all. Things have been a bit busy and my mood and spirits shift up and down like a crazy carnival roller coaster. ”Better to have loved and lost then not loved at all” I find myself in a constant struggle whether to agree or disagree with such. I know I need to handle my shit and I think things are getting better. I had a tough go a few weeks ago thanks to a certain circumstance that I am not really ready to discuss here.
I need more time to stew on it, come to terms with the results a bit. Check out the November Surflog, 11/19 for a little on what happened there. All I will say is that I am still in a state of constant amazement of the world around me, but more so on the way things have panned out for me at the moment. I guess it could be worse. I could be a heroine addict and then not only be unhappy but also slowly killing myself with a filthy drug addiction. Believe me after being through two heroine addict roommates back to back in the last four months It makes me feel a bit better about being a drunk. As they say in Casablanca:
Nazi Guy: Nationality?
French Inspector: That would make Monsieur Nick a citizen of the world.
I think a great number of people out there drink in excess, but are afraid to admit it to themselves. The first step is always admittance after all. Then the next step is deciding if it is a problem or not. I am still in the midst of the second step. One thing for sure I will never give up my vin. What the fuck is all this random ranting about? Well I think it is time to fill everyone in on what has been going down in Lisanti Land the last few weeks. I am going to try something new this time and I hope it is entertaining.
“And with Daren’s Help We got that Chicken”
There was this episode of Seinfeld entitled “The Voice” and it ran in the 9th and final season of the show. Kramer gets this business intern fraudulently from NYU and then loses him when the school realizes “Kramerica Industries was no more then a man, and an apartment that may or may not contain a chicken”. Kooky now following in my footsteps working as a stock boy at Mesa Produce, the same place I got my start here in SB (look at me now kids, still partying at the Wild Cat whooot! The more things change the more they stay the same. I came out here to get over a woman, only to meet another and then have her leave me right back where I started) happened to come across the opportunity to get a free chicken.
How could I say no to that. The plan was since the chicken was useless, too old to lay eggs I thought it would be a grand idea to use her in a Recipe D’Jour feature called how to make a Chicken from Scratch similiar to the ”How to make a Pumpkin Pie from Scratch” feature only a bit more deranged and disturbing. Then again it has been a year since that blog was written and that is exactly what Lisanti Land has become these days. I was all ready to take my meat cleaver to her head. Then one morning after a tough night out I was sitting in my backyard in an attempt to find inner peace and wisdom within the confines of my serenity garden. Who jumps into my lap but the Chicken. I was petting her and she was clucking and all seemed alright.
I promised her she would not die by my hands. Unfortunately chickens are really messy animals and shit all over the place. You know that expression where people say this sucks worse then chicken shit. Let me tell you that chicken shit sucks pretty bad. I built this ghetto rigged coup out of some chicken wire I found in the trash a while back and some broken picture frame I found for Ade’s to use as an art project once upon a time. It was rather makeshift but did the job. Well about two days ago Penny found her way out of the pen and has not been heard from since. Ryan and I think the Mexican gardener who always comes into my garden and fucks up my plants stole her. Kooky thinks she got eaten by one of the many predatory creatures that would love to make a meal out of a poor defenseless chicken. In my fantasy land I like to think that she now lives safely and happily with in the confines of the thickly vined in area behind my building eating bugs and living the high life, whatever that maybe for a chicken.
“But What if it works”
There are good ideas, there are bad ideas and then there are the ideas you have when you are walking home from the bar at 2am drunk as shit. There we found ourselves Kooky and I about a block from The Kitty on Ortega street staring into a fifty inch projection television set. ”Its does not work” I said. ”But what if it does” Kooky replied. Next thing I know I am carrying a giant TV across town at 2am. It was not that heavy just awkward as hell to hold. We had to make occasional pit stops but only in spots where we could put the thing down on a surface just high enough that the TV could be propped up with out any extra lifting. We passed some black guy near the Castillo 7-11 and he said “I have seen some stupid ideas in my day but this just may take the cake”.
We passed a cop car, campus security and countless others. No one stopped us, tried to rob us and we did not get arrested. Only in California. In New Jersey we would not have made it one block with that thing. We made it three miles. An hour later we got home exhausted only to find out the next morning that it did not work. Awesome. We decided to pay it forward and put it outside the building with a sign that read “Free it works “. Don’t ever forget who the king of the assholes is.
Read the surflog. All my surfing escapades and everything in between winds up there these days. I do up date it every day. I did get a new J7 Surfboard. I went a little more robust in the tail this time around. So far it is going really well for me, although I have only gotten three session on it and have yet to cut its teeth at Rincon. Time will tell. Kooky did some dank ass art work on it as well. Jason is on it these days and you really cant go wrong with a surfboard from him.
School has been a pain in the ass as always. In my baking class I managed to be the only one in my class to pull off a flawless dessert and bread. Still I was only bestowed a 91 because as my professor put it I did not challenge myself with the dessert. I made a chocolate almond biscotti. Besides I had never baked a loaf of bread before and I missed both bread classes thus handicapping myself a bit rather then not challenging myself. I wanted to do a dry run on the bread at home, but ended up drinking instead. I went in cold, book in hand and winged it. Somehow I managed to bake two bad ass loaves if Italian bread. Now maybe it is my heritage or that the man in the sky decided to cut me a break for a change. Either way I was rather proud of my bread.
In my pantry class It was a group final where we had to produce a grilled chicken salad, eggs Florentine, Rice Pilaf and a grilled sandwich. I did all the cooking, all the knife cuts and the final plating yet somehow was hit with a 5 out of 10 for execution because I mixed my mirepoix together prior to cooking for the pilaf and he was pissed that I missed the last two classes in a row. Fuck, I cook for a living and most of the class was rather rudimentary for me. I failed work study cause I did not bother to hand in any of the work and catering cause I did not do any of the work . Last semester I pulled a 4.0 this semester it is shaping out to be a bit lower then that. Hey if your not going to be first you might as well be last eh? Here are some shitty quality pictures of the project I took on my cell phone.
So there you have it in a nut shell what has been going down in The Land of Lisanti. Hope you found a laugh or two from my gnarl.