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Archive for September, 2010

Beef Teriyaki Stir Fry

Posted in Recipe D'Jour, tagged , , , on September 15, 2010| 8 Comments »

Beef Teriyaki Stir Fry
Over white Sticky Rice

 

Now that is a tasty looking dish!

 

Total Cost: $14.85
Feeds 6-8 + people

Stir Fry is about as Asian as I get and one of the rare times I stray from Italian food, my specialty.  I do two different stir fries, a chicken soy sauce type thing that Im sure will be featured here at some point and the Beef Teriyaki Stir Fry I shall bestow upon you know.  Stir fry is great, its rather easy to prepare, quick and fun.  It also feeds an astonishing number of people.  Im not talking Jesus loaves and the fishes sort of numbers but you get a lot of bang for your buck.

Ingredient List:

  • London Broil, although any beef roast will do – 2lb stripped
  • Teriyaki Sauce – 5 oz
  • Balsamic Vinegar – 3 oz
  • Cold water – 1.5 oz
  • Olive Oil – 3 oz
  • Brown Sugar – ½ cup
  • Salt  – 2 tablespoons
  • Pepper – 1 tablespoon
  • Bay leaves – 1 teaspoon ground
  • Leeks – 1 chopped
  • Sweet Onion – 1 chopped
  • Red Pepper – 2 chopped
  • Green Pepper – 2 chopped
  • White Mushrooms – 8-12 medium sized chopped
  • Carrots – 2 medium size chopped
  • Celery – 4-6 stalks chopped
  • White Rice – 1 ½ cup

Step 1: Marinate your beef – This should be done the day before you plan to cook the meat.  Take your beef roast and trim all the excess fat around it.  Next cut beef into 2” x 1” strips or so.  In a medium mixing bowl place beef with 4 oz of Teriyaki Sauce, 3 oz of Balsamic Vinegar, 1 oz of Olive Oil, 1.5 oz of cold water, ½ cup of Brown Sugar, 2 tablespoons of Salt, 1 table spoon of Pepper, and teaspoon of Bay Leaves.  Stir up making sure all the beef is under the marinade.  Cover and put into fridge for at least 10-12 hours.  Mine usually sits for longer then that. You want to meat to really soak in that flavor.  When you take it out of the fridge there will be a thick yellow gelled film on the top of the bowl, which is the olive oil solidified, just stir it back into the mix.

Step 2: Fry your beef – If you have a wok now is the time to put it to work.  I personally love cooking stir fry in a wok it makes things so much easier, no to mention I fought a hard battle with Cory to take possession of my current wok and every time I use I think of my old misguided friend who decided to move back to New Jersey.  Have fun this winter bud when the water is 38 degrees F and the air 20 with a negative wind chill.  Don’t worry I will get some at Rincon for you.  Put the beef into the wok with about 2 oz of Olive Oil and on a medium flame brown up the meat so its no longer raw.  If you don’t have a wok a large frying pan will do as well, make sure it has high sides.

Step 3: Prep your Vegetables – Cut up all desired vegetables in your stir fry.  I listed all the ones I like to use, but you can vary what you add.  Sometimes when Im feeling really special and have some extra money I will go as far as to include water chestnuts and baby corns.  If your budget is really tight you can easily knock 4-6 bucks off the price in vegetables by using prepackaged frozen stir fry ones.  They usually go for $2 for a 1 lb bag or so.   Sure it won’t taste as fresh but you save some dough.  I would not leave out the Leeks cause they really compliment the beef well.

Step 4:  Integrate Vegetables to Wok or pan – Dump vegetables into wok with already frying meat.  Pour the marinade your meat sat in over entire concoction and add a bit more teriyaki sauce as well.  Let cook around 10 minutes constantly stirring till vegetables are soft and sauce is thick.

Step 5: Serve over white Rice…Yum!

 

Alfie is ready to chow down.

 

 

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Im F$%King Angry!!!!

Posted in Anger, Life, tagged on September 12, 2010| 14 Comments »

I don’t really know where to begin, truth be told I should really begin with the miserable day on which I was born at 12:03 am in the middle of one of the worst ice storms in New York history.  Not to mention the fact that I was born a few weeks prematurely, came out yellow and spent around 2 weeks in an incubator with doctors giving me 50/50 odds of survival.

My birth pretty much set the tone for the course of my entire life.  No matter what was going to be on offer to me it was going to come at a struggle and then be more of a kick in the ass rather then a desired and many of time expected reward.  Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while know the many moments of purely stupid adversity that seem to plague every up cycle in my life.

My birth is a perfect example.  Here is life kid welcome to the world, now you have to fight for your vestige.  We can go back to the age old shell incident of which I have reminisced on here since the very beginning.  I was 5 and at the beach with both my Mother and Grandmother.  We had the best day ever.  The weather was nice, I played in the shore break and built sandcastles.  The kicker of the whole day was that I collected these two pails full of wonderful shells (they were probably just clam shells, but at the time they could have been the most rare shell in existence to me).

I was so proud of those shells.  The day came to an end, as the three of us made our way back to the car these two guys maybe in their late teens, early twenties came charging our way.  They ran right into me close lining me face down onto the pavement.  I fell, scrapped both my knees and my two pails of shells were spilled out all over the sidewalk broken into a million pieces.  It was right then and there at the tender age of five I learned the world was going to be full of heart ache and despair and no matter how hard I tried I was going to get fucked in the denouement.

Despite this cruel hard lesson I constantly forget how fucked the world can be to its people.  Enough living in the past and back to my being Angry!!!! But Im worse then angry, no, I feel…….Beaten.  Ralph Ellison wrote a masterpiece of a novel called The Invisible Man.  Basically its about this black guy who every time he is given an opportunity to shine it always turns out to be for a false pretense and instead of it being his moment of glory becomes utter humiliation and ruin.  I wont go into any more detail of the novel, but will say that it is definitely worth a read.

I read it in high school and to this day I think it is one of the more powerful works I have ever read.  What am I blabbering about?  Don’t worry I got a few good old fashioned Lisanti rants for you except at the moment instead of feeding me with anger power persevere they are practically bringing me to my knees.

It all started with scoring this new cook job at the Westmont College (if your lost you can check it out here: https://surfingruinedmylife.net/2010/09/02/the-apprenticeship/).  Basic gist of it is I was offered a position that was suppose to allow me to better my situation in life and was amped on it.  Sure it cut into my surf time and is a ton of really hard work.  I have never been averse to working hard and as a matter of fact get some satisfaction out of it.

Pretty much as soon as I quit the gas station and started this new job of course my car decides to take a shit on me leaving me in a bit of a desperate situation.  I figured it would be all right.  I would just bring it back to the station I worked at for the last two years, where I never missed a day of work and keep the place in tip top shape.  When I called my old boss to see if they could help me out, now mind you I was not looking to get a bro deal or any thing just get my car fixed by someone I knew to be honest, he told me to basically go fuck myself and he would not work on my car because I quit.

That in my opinion was the biggest bullshit ever.  Here I am trying to make my way in the world like everyone else and had an opportunity to make more money and set myself up a little better in life.  Its not like I left them with out an option.  I asked for a $1 raise an hour.  If they would have met that or even made some type of counter offer I would have probably stayed, but I was turned down flat out.  It cant get much more insulting then that.  I was there for two years and never got a raise or anything.

Whatever my old boss wants to be a fucking cunt about the whole thing that’s his problem. The funny thing was I thought we were friends him and I, but I guess not.  As usual his good nature toward me turned out to be like many others who have passed through my life, as soon as being my friend was no longer advantageous then I had no more use and thus passed out of his realm of posterity.  Its all good because I know 20 years from know that toothless moron will still be working at that gas station living in a trailer, smoking pot and drinking a 12 pack every single night after work, while some one else gets rich off his efforts, meanwhile I will look down upon him with pity.

Long story short (yeah like that is not a crock of shit) I ended up bringing my car to some place I picked out of the phone book because in the words of Nick the Kook upon picking a dentist after losing his teeth in a freak piggy back ride accident, “they looked like they knew their shit from their ad”.  My car got fixed but I am definitely sure they charged me for some unnecessary work, but my lack of automobile mechanic knowledge was too limited to know the difference.  700 bucks later I have a car that runs and no more money.

My car is finally running fine and with my new job I should have no problem recouping the cash right?  Wrong! Work has been rather tough and stressful.  I have kitchen experience but I have never worked in a kitchen as vast and dynamic as the one I am in now.  Although I am starting to feel my “sea legs” so to speak I feel that my boss is not pleased with me.  Its not just a feeling, he pretty much lets me know that everything I do is sub par all the time and that if I don’t shape up Im on my ass.  At the same time no one shows me how to do anything and Im just told do this and left to figure it out on my own.

Then if it turns out wrong Im yelled at for not asking, if I ask Im yelled at for not knowing.  It’s a catch 22.  Nothing I do is fast enough.  Im getting there, shit I even come home and practice cutting vegetables.  I will be good at this but I don’t know if I will be allowed the sufficient time.  Meanwhile Im a basket case every single day worried about what I will do if I lose this job since I quit my other job, which was one of the easiest jobs I had ever worked.  I don’t really want to look for new work, nor am I in the financial situation too.

To make matters worse rumor around the kitchen has it that my boss wants me to take over the pizza station.  First off I don’t want to work in pizza I did that for 5 years and know it inside out.  I took this job to gain cook experience.  Second the hours are horrid garnishing me to work 8am-4: 30pm Monday-Friday.  Im barely surfing as it is working 11am-8pm but with this new schedule I might as well just sell all my surfboards and spend my evenings drinking beer, getting fat and watching the boob tube.

I mean weekends off suck all that means is crowds everywhere I chose to go and at 4:30 its all blown out, crowded and in the winter time dark.   Fuck my life.  Nothing is official yet but I heard it from a few people now this weekend and Im sure tomorrow my boss is going to throw me under the gauntlet with the bad news.  Looks like Im going to have to find me a new job….AGAIN!!!!!

I should have never left my old job.  I should have known it was too good to be true that someone would give me a shot a something great.  It was all a lie.  Lets make Chris jump through a few more hopes and then when he thinks he is headed for a big finish we will take out his knees thus allowing him to fall flat on his face.  TWO STEPS FORWARD AND 15 STEPS BACK MY FRIENDS. Maybe I should have been born with no legs or arms like that dude from that video I posed in my “Keep Keeping On” Blog?  Things seem to have worked out well for him.  Oh, wait; I forgot, HE HAS NO FUCKING LEGS AND NO FUCKING ARMS.

I Think the picture says it all folks.

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The Blog Within the Blog

Posted in Music on September 11, 2010| 1 Comment »

Im not going to lie this is going to be a shameless act of self promotion, but I dont believe you would expect anything less from me.  There is a ton of fun shit on this blog.  Sure you have to be literate and enjoy reading a bit.  If your looking to sit on the couch mindlessly with droll coming out of the side of your mouth this blog is not for you.  Truth be told I dont even want you reading this, not that I need to worry cause with all the “words” and lack of visuals Im sure mister imbecilic couch potato did not get this far anyway.

Ironically Im writing this blog to promote an auditory section of this website that I feel may be over looked by most.  I feel that is a real shame cause it is gold in my opinion.  At the top of the menu bar there is a tab that says Groovin’ High .  Although ambiguously named it has nothing to do with the act of “getting high” at least off of a substance that is.  Groovin’ high refers to a different kind of high, a musical high.  Think of it as an independent music blog that just so happens to be featured on this website.

Basically what happens is that daily, sometimes multiple times in one day I will post a song on the Groovin’ High page and subsequently I will write a little bit about what that song means to me and why it was chosen.  I personally am really pumped on this section of my website and I hope you will enjoy it too.  I would like to even take it a step further and ask you if you have music you feel so inclined to share to post it on the page in the comments as well. There is so much good music out there and so little time to hear it all and Im sure Im missing out on some great shit.  Together we can compile quite the play list.  As a matter of fact there is already a pretty solid little play list going on there right now as you read this.

Click here to check it out.

Here I am doing a little Groovin' High myself 😉

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Stuffed Tomatoes Lisanti Style

Posted in Recipe D'Jour, tagged , , on September 10, 2010| Leave a Comment »

(how to take a vegetable and turn it as unhealthy as possible)

Total Cost: $9.50
Feeds about 4-6 people

I going to honest this meal was inspired by a similar dish we had prepared for the vegetarian section at the college.  I never even considered to stuff a tomato before and found the idea rather intriguing.  I figured I could do something similar but stuff it with meat and cheese and make it the first tomato capable of giving a massive coronary.  Yummy!

Ingredient List

  • 4 Medium size tomatoes
  • 1 lb of ground beef
  • 4 oz of parmesan cheese (grated)
  • 8 oz of mozzarella Cheese (shredded)
  • 16 oz of tomato sauce
  • 1 egg
  • 1 cup of bread crumbs (Italian seasoned)
  • 2 table spoons of oregano (dry)
  • 1 teaspoon of basil (dry)
  • 2 table spoons of salt
  • 1 table spoon of pepper
  • 1 teaspoon of olive oil

Step 1: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F

Step 2: Prep the tomatoes for stuffing.  Cut tomato in half horizontally (not through the core (see picture).  Then hallow out the inside of the tomato leaving about a quarter inch shell.  Do not throw away the inside of the tomato, instead dice it up, we will use it for the sauce.

 

This is how your tomato half should look.

 

Step 3: In a large mix bowl take the ground beef, breadcrumbs, Lisanti egg mixture (beat one egg, a teaspoon of salt, pinch of pepper, teaspoon of basil together in a small bowl), 2 oz of Parmesan cheese and 3 oz of mozzarella cheese.  With your hands mix together till you have a regular consistency of all ingredients.  Move from bowl into a large baking pan, spread the meat out flat no thicker then a half inch or so.  Put in oven for around 6-10 minutes. You want to just brown the top but not let it get too crunchy.

Step 4: Making the sauce.  In a medium size sauce pot mix the tomato sauce, 1 table soon of salt, 1 table spoon of Oregano, 1 teaspoon of pepper, 1 teaspoon of olive oil and the diced tomato chunks.  Heat on low flame.

Step 5: Stuffing the tomatoes.  Now that you have finished baking your meat mixture pull out of the oven and let cool a few minutes.  Stuff the bottom ¼ of your tomatoes with mozzarella cheese.  Pour in about two tablespoons of sauce, Then stuff the rest with the cooked meat mixture.  Top it off with a healthy layering of parmesan cheese.  Bake in oven at 350 for 8-10 minutes till cheese melts and tomatoes are soft.

Step 6: Take left over meat mixture, crumble it up and mix it into your sauce and heat on a medium flame.

Step 7: Serve over a plate worth of pasta and either one or two tomato halves.  Make sure to drizzle some sauce over the finished tomato.  Boun Appetite!

 

A tasty finished product

 

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Keep Keeping On! (UCB)

Posted in Life, User Choice BLog on September 10, 2010| 6 Comments »

Monday marked the close of the summer quarter of the UCB and I had promised a triple points blog to one astute participating reader.  Well the race got very close there toward the end, but I once again have to unofficially give the crown to Kooky Kyle winning I believe his third straight quarter this year.   Any who there will be a winner’s blog next week to crown our champion.  This weeks UCB will go down on Sunday and being the first of the quarter it is worth 1.5 points.

Kooky asked I write on how to Keep Keeping On.  Now this may seem an almost illiterate suggestion but actually it is a somewhat common phrase in Lisantbonics. I have heard if used by others as well, thus Im not claiming I invented the phrase but I am a strong believer in its message.

What the fuck is Lisanti talking about?  I know that is what you’re thinking; yet I feel it should be a common theme to HowSurfingRuinedMyLife.net.  The essence of “Keep Keeping On” is one’s day-to-day struggle in the undertaking of life.  It refers to the bad times in life, the adversities one must overcome in order to strive for greatness.  Basically when you scrape the bottom of the barrel it is the initiative taken to climb the fuck out of there.

Keep Keeping On is not easy; at times it seems damn near impossible.  Some people I have observed find it easier then others, I think it is your less passionate type who rarely find rock bottom.  The drones sleep walking their way through life not contributing nor depleting, just another cog in the machine.  I don’t know if it is a better existence to be a cog, but certainly by going that route one will find him with less hurtles to jump over.

Those types of people bring a tear to my eyes and I pity them so.  Sure they are necessary to our survival as a human conglomerate, if everyone was trotting the path less taken then it would not be the path less taken in which I probably would have become an accountant or something really lame like that since it would be the path less taken, but that is a whole other can of worms not be opened up here or this blog might go on for pages.

People who don’t settle, cant even comprehend what the word settle means.  Its not even in my vocabulary and every time I make the slightest attempt on it I end up losing my mind.  These types of people are the ones who Keep Keeping On applies to.  When one goes and chases his hopes and dreams more times then not there will be many obstacles along the way.  Or on the other hand if our dreamer finds he has settled may wake up one day be completely disillusioned.

When such events happen this type of person hits a low point of heavy despair, even depression.  I have been here many times.  There were times I felt so alienated I just wanted to walk into a crowded intersection with an automatic weapon and just start taking people out.  I have also felt that the continuation of the act of living too much to bear as well. No matter how low I sink somehow, some way I climb out of my pit and when I do I find myself much stronger from it all and a better person all around.

How do I do it?  That was the initial question in the first place.  First off suicide is not an option to me though I may regularly joke about it.  I have never really had much of an understanding of why anyone would take his or her own life.  No matter how low things look and how one’s current situation may be there is always a way out.  At that moment of absolute despondency things may seem hopeless, but in actuality they are not.  We have the power to change our situation all the time.

In most cases its just a matter of giving up.  I always here people say things like “its too hard” or “I cant do this”.  I have never believed I could not do anything.  It’s just a matter of time, patience, education and practice.  With these four idioms I believe that anything is possible.   Say for example I wanted to become an astronaut.  Now you probably thinking that is impossible Chris you’re too old.

I could go back to school study my ass off, get into the right programs and maybe in ten years or so be qualified to embark on a space mission.  Personally I don’t care to put in all that effort, but if it was something I really wanted I would go for it. If I failed at least I know I gave it my best efforts.

It’s like my professional surfing career.  Truth be told it never really happened for me, but I tried my hardest to make it happen Nothing really popped off and after many years of trials and tribulations I decided to cash in my chips and put my efforts into a new plan (read my ten year plan blog for that one https://surfingruinedmylife.net/2010/09/05/the-ten-year-plan-ucb/).

Its been a long blog for a really short answer.  I Keep Keeping On by Keep Keeping On.  I don’t ever give up.  If one plan fails I come up with a new one.  That is the key right there.  “If you fall down you must get back up again” otherwise you’re just laying there in the dirt like a fool.  I may go through periods of depression and self loathing, but I always come out of it and if you do too you will find more strength within then you ever knew was there before.  I Keep Keeping On because I know that no matter what happens thinks are going to work out in my favor in the end.

Here is a guy who is a true testament to Keep Keeping On.

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Rincon Broke Today

Posted in Life, Surfing, User Choice BLog on September 6, 2010| 3 Comments »

No Triple points UCB today, not that anyone besides kooky bothered to play anyhow.  Rincon broke this morning for the first time of the season and although it was only a meager chest highish little wind swell pulse I managed to snag a few five or six hit waves before work. Then I cooked ridiculous quantities of food and now Im just too plain tired to bother to write anything of substance, not that I ever really scribe anything of substance anyhow.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the triples points UCB the final of the quarter.  Im going to chill-lax now. Bye Bye.

Here is a fun video to entertain yourself with till tomorrow.

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The Ten Year Plan (UCB)

Posted in Life, User Choice BLog on September 5, 2010| 4 Comments »

The last official UCB of the quarter is taking by Nick Kiefer.  The bonus triple point blog will be written tomorrow 9/6 and entries for that blog are still up for submission all the way until 9pm Pacific Standard Time on the 6th.  Kiefer proposed I write where I see myself in ten years.  Truth be told it is a topic that I have been giving plenty of thought to lately considering I am turning thirty in less then a year.

The reality

Part of the plan has already went into action with me taking this new position at Westmont (if you don’t know what Im talking about read “The Apprenticeship” blog: https://surfingruinedmylife.net/2010/09/02/the-apprenticeship/).  What it all comes down to for me is that I don’t want to be penniless working for minimum wage with out a pot to piss in when I am forty, which I regrettably will be in ten years.  I have a few friends out here I surf with on a regular basis who are on the verge of forty.

Out of this group I look to my friend Ryan to be the guy I most want to be when I reach his age.  The dude has a job that allows him to surf a bunch, a good chunk of change in the bank, owns his own home and has a nice family.  Now I don’t care much for the family or home ownership thing, but I want to be stable and not sweating how Im going to pay the rent every month, as I do now and have for as long as I can remember.

So that brings us back to my current state in life.  Right now Im paying my dues in the kitchen, working like a dog.  Im not going to lie its hard work and long days, usually around 9 or 10 hours.  The work is very tiring leaving me completely spent and as a result not too vigorous on surfing.  Hopefully this is temporary.

I plan on working this job for a few years to get my skill and experience up.  I also want to take culinary classes in the summers when I am off and gain my certification and maybe in five years either run a kitchen of my own or at least have a sous chef job someplace.  I really want to be in a restaurant geared more towards dinner so that I can work from 2pm-10pm giving me plenty of hours to surf.

Who knows if I save my money and play my cards right I can open up a little Italian Bistro somewhere by the time Im forty.  I think I could live with that.  As far as where I will live I guess I would stay here in Santa Barbara.  Its really the only place I could truly live here in America and with the bustling tourism industry it would be a choice location to work as a chef and open my own place.

The Dream

The dream ten year plan comes in the form I like to call Emma Wood Ranch.  Emma Wood Ranch is my sheep farm in New Zealand I like to go to in my head whenever life gets me to point where I want to jump the center divider of the free way on the way home from work and drive full speed into the oncoming traffic.  If I could save enough cash, maybe around 100k or so I could take that money and purchase a grand amount of acreage, forty or so of grazing land on the North Island of New Zealand.  I was thinking either on the Wairarapa Coast or Taranaki Coast.  Both are riddled with tons of great waves and plenty of ranches that are always up for sale by farmers looking to move to the city.

I would get fifty head of sheep; maybe thirty head of cattle over time, a dozen or so alpacas and Ill even throw in a few emus and ostrich just for shits and giggles.  I would also grow my own garden for my personal food consumption and build some bare bones surf accommodations for the budget surf traveler.  People can even live for free if they are willing to help keep up the place.

Any of my friends who want to drop out and join in the festivities would be more then welcome as well.  Together we can live in the beauty of a simpler life where you get out of it what you put into it.  I’d get a few good work dogs to help with herding and wear nothing but soft warm comfortable alpaca clothing.   Sound good?  Who’s on board for a little bit of surfing and a little bit of hard work under the clean pristine skies and vistas only New Zealand can offer.

This could be your backyard with the dream plan

Here is a fail safe ten year plan if you ask me.

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UCB Anouncement

Posted in User Choice BLog on September 3, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Labor day will mark the end of the summer quarter of the UCB.  In celebration of its culmination I have decided in addition to the regularly scheduled UCB which will be written tomorrow, Sat 9/4 I will drop a bonus blog worth triple points winner take all.   Now here is the deal everyone gets just one crack at a topic and all submissions must be in by 7pm pacific standard time Monday September 6th.  If you post more then one topic suggestion both of yours will be void (this pertains mostly to you kooky).

Also I have decided to give the UCB one more shot here on my new site.  Maybe it was stifled by all the negativity around myspace.  I will try again, whether it lasts or not is entirely up to you and your participation.  If your unclear of the mystery that is the UCB click here for more details:  https://surfingruinedmylife.net/ucb/ all the desired information will be provided for there.  Dont bother making any more submissions for tomorrow’s UCB cause I have already selected a topic from last week’s suggestions.  Put all your efforts into Monday’s triple point blog.   Enjoy and good luck.

Trust me participation in the UCB is way more fun then sand boarding!

But definitely not as much fun as hanging out with Alfie.

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The Apprenticeship

Posted in Life, Odd Jobs on September 2, 2010| 7 Comments »

Things never get dull in my life.  Just when I feel like I have finally got into a comfortable little groove I decide to go off into left field and change everything.  As human beings we are creatures of habit and I especially find myself constantly getting into a routine.  Once Im in this common set of parameters I begin to go mad, yet the idea of changing it is a horrific thought.

The summer 2010 will go down as one of the flattest in California history leaving periods of time where it was borderline east coast flat.  Im talking 3-5 day flat spells (that’s a bit of a lie cause all I really had to do was drive an hour or so north and could have easily been furnished with chest high waves, but who really wants to go through that much effort for less then average surf?  Not me).  These flat spells got me to thinking about my life and its current direction.  This is never a good thing to do when your already feeling a bit depressed.

As most of you know my sham of a professional surfing career came to a screeching halt when Globe finally dropped the axe upon me this past June.  Don’t cry for me Argentina, I saw the writing on the wall back in February.  I was surprised they kept me that long after I did absolutely nothing the last year or so except hang around Santa Barbara.  With no prospects on the table and nothing really happening for me with the exception of trying to make a promo video, which Im still sort of working on, I was forced to reside in the fact that all I had amounted to in life was a night time gas station employee.

Although it paid the bills (barely) I found myself in front of one of life’s cross roads.  Do I continue cleaning up piss, shit and other bodily excrement off the bathroom floor every night with out gloves because my cheap ass boss stopped buying them pretending that something was “going to happen for me” in surfing or whatever (deep down inside I still really believe someone is going to show up at some point in my life and hand me a brief case full of money).   I knew I needed to do something better with my life.

My friend Ryan would constantly joke about how I was the most intelligent over qualified gas station employee ever.  I had been considering going to culinary school since I was 15 when I used work at the pizzeria, yet was always dissuaded by my mother or school guidance counselors telling me I “had to go to college”.   Fuck high school guidance counselors.  I don’t think those guys ever pointed anyone in the right direction.  They told my buddy Chad Griffin he should go to college and the guy could barely read or write.  The world needs garbage men too.  Enough on how I feel about guidance

counselors cause I could write an entire rant blog on them alone.

I love cooking and have always felt at home working in a kitchen.  Its hard work, but its honest noble work and I happen to be good at it.  I had planned to go to culinary school with in the coming year, but I had been saying that for the past two years as well.  After this summer I was determined to set my life on the right course, tired of starving for an industry that used me up and then threw me away when I was of no more use to them.  I surf for me now and actually have way more fun and get way less hassled in the lineup.  I truly am the definition of hard core, soul surfer, but that is another blog for another day also.

One day in early August I was surfing with the guy who is actually Will Smith’s personal chef.  When I asked him how he got into it and if he went to school, he replied he had just applied for jobs and worked his way up to his current position.  Dude reckoned that was probably better then any education a school could give and you get paid for it instead of paying them.  Heeding his advice I began applying for every kitchen position I could find to no avail, everyone wanting at least three years line cook experienced.

Discouraged after nearly a month of rejections I resolved to wait out the winter and then try and go to culinary school in the spring.  Then about a week ago I got a phone call from this position I applied for, a cooking position at Westmont College.  Excited I went to the job interview and the head chef Jose was super pumped on me even though I was a bit inexperienced and offered me the job. He probably figured he could get me at half the price of a trained chef and train me how he wanted to with no ego problems.

I was offered a full time chef position, $11 hour, and benefits after three months.  The only buzz kill was the hours were 11am-8pm seriously cutting into my surf time forcing me now to have to get up at 6am to go surfing as oppose to my cushy 8am surf check.  I could not make up mind so I did what I always do leave it up to other people.  I told my boss at the gas station if he would give me a dollar an hour raise thus matching the pay of the chef job I would stay.

The owner of the gas station flat out rejected it.  I guess I was not worth the sale of one pack of cigarettes and a candy bar (comes out just under $8).  I was still considering staying, when that night Jose called and convinced me otherwise.  I took the chef job and told the gas station to kiss my white ass.  So now I work 5 days a week nine hours a day killing myself in the kitchen so exhausted when I get home I can barely hold my head up, but I am learning a craft I hope to become very skilled in.

I am currently on a thirty day trial period and at the end if I don’t cut it Im out the door.  Im not going to lie I am definitely a lot more deficient then I had expected to take on a position as such, but Im learning fast and putting in all my efforts.  I will make the cut and in a few years come out of this a skilled chef.  To put things into Star Wars terms I am like padawan learner novice to the ways of the force, but hoping to make full on Jedi.  Only time will tell my friends.  Wish me luck on the new endeavor.

Here is the trailer from 1999 motion picture Simply Irresistable, a movie in which Sara Michelle Gellar gets a cooking position in a fancy restaurant, yet has never cooked before in her life.  Luckily for her a benevolent crab helps her out after she spares his life by not cooking him.  I know its a pretty bizarre movie, I saw it on a plane on the way back from Cali or something.

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