Surfing Ruined My Life

August 2012 Surfing Sessions

8/31/12 No Surfing: 2-3ft
The south swell looks to be filling in very nicely for the weekend, but you know what fuck it.  Its a holiday weekend and there has not been a ride able wave in days its going to be so fucking crowded everywhere that surfing would have been more headache then fun anyhow.  

8/30/12 No Surfing: 1-3ft
As the south swell fills in I find myself land locked, board less and otherwise a bit over it.  I went up to Mt St. Helens today and feasted eyes on the aftermath of the terrible volcanic eruption that took place there back in 1980.  It was a sight to be seen and for the most part worth any surf I could have had back in the 805.

8/29/12 No Surfing: 1-2ft
First day in Portland.  Looks like there should be some swell for everyone back in the Barb now that I am gone.  Look for a blog on Day 1’s adventures tomorrow am.

8/28/12 No Surfing: 1-2ft
I wanted to go get a surf in before I left but of course everything south looked pathetic and I just did not have the motivation to go up to Jalama. Turns out I heard from a friend that Jalama was fun.  I had a bunch of stupid errands to run before catching my flight to Portland which was rather uneventful.

8/27/12 No Surfing: 1-2ft
I got hammered at the Wild Cat last night for no apparent reason.  I ended up having a blast. It was a solid night and the first Sunday I had been out in a few weeks.  I ran into this random chick while I was smoking a cigarette out back.  We got to talking, one thing lead to another and lets just say I did not get much sleep last night.  That translated to a very hard and exhausting day at work.  I really hope the waves come back soon.

8/26/12 No Surfing: 1-2ft
There just are not any waves to be had right now.  Sure I could waste gas to go grovel in Ventura but I just don’t have the motivation or the lack of sense to do it.  There is no point spending $10 bucks for a surf at Emma Wood if I am going to come home all frustrated and angry as a result of the crowd.  

8/25/12 No Surfing: 1-2ft
And the great flat spell continues.  I knew there was going to be shit for surf this am so I got hammered with some co-workers at the Wild Cat.  I must say it was a rather fun night.   I wish it ended under better circumstances instead of me making a usual end of the night bad decision.  Whatever I think we all know the definition of insanity by now.  Is a free ride really worth the price of admission…

8/24/12 NoSurfing: 1-2ft
More flatness left me over it.  Been working a lot so at the very least I am stacking some paper.

8/23/12 No Surfing: 1-2ft
It was the first day running all of the stations in the new DC and I had to be in early to help ensure everything would run smooth.  We were suppose to expect around 400 instead we got over 800.  It became a full on ass raping.  My boss told me he is pleased with my performance and is giving  me a raise.  I’m so glad to be back at Westmont and the feeling of a purpose.  Its sad but true my job is pretty much all I have in life at the moment especially since it is flat.

8/22/12 No Surfing: 1-2ft
And the flat spell continues.  I was suppose to have off on Wednesday but after reviewing the surf report opted to go in and help Pascual with breakfast and lunch and help Jose train all the new people.  I was suppose to get off at 1:30 so I could make my 2:15 hair cut appointment no problem, but that was a lie and I barely made it. Luckily Elyse was running behind.  As usual she killed it on my hair.  From there I had some errands to run before coming home and putting on yet another successful Wednesday night family dinner.  

8/21/12 AM Session: 1-3ft, Emma Wood
Time in Water: 1.5hrs
Waves surfed: 33
Its been a tough summer surf wise out here and today was no exception to that rule.  I check harbor but the wind was up, it was a bit drained and a bit small.  I cruised to Emma where I saw some fun looking peaks.  Excited I called my boy Ryan  and Lindsay.  There were some fun ones although a bit inconsistent.  When I first got out the crowd was light and I was getting some decent ones.  It did not take long for it to get clogged with home schooled groms.  Dane showed up along with Sage Erickson and Matt McKay.  Now there was a veritable pro show along side the pesky grom bs I have had to deal with all summer.  Looks like more flatness to come.  

8/20/12 No Surfing: 1-2ft
It was my first day back at Westmont.  There was some welcome back lunch for all the faculty and staff.  I was brought in to work the event.  I had to be there at 7am thus no morning session was afforded to me.  Its all good cause I heard the surf was trash anyway.  The event went down with out a hitch.  I saw Adrienne there.  She had a really good tan going for her usual pale self.  I cordially said hi and kept my composure.  The sad thing is I still miss her a bunch but I am not letting that destroy as in the past.   I lost a year of my life to her three altogether if you include the time we were a couple although I don’t consider it time wasted.  Dominique Francon needed to leave Howard Roark in order for him to achieve greatness.  What is greatness and is  it something I am capable of or even want?  What if I think I am great just the way I am?  Maybe that is a lie, but it seems everyday I achieve a better more enlightened version of me.  After work I went for a skim board extravaganza.  

8/19/12 AM Session: 2-4ft, Santa Clara River Mouth
Time in Water: 1.5hrs
Waves Surfed: 39
River Mouth is like one of those girl friends that is constantly having PMS and she drives you crazy, but then in between all the bullshit she delivers.  The last two mornings have been really fun.  This morning was a bit less invigorating then the previous but still very fun.  Really it was just a tad smaller with a bit of texture.  Still I found a few killer barrels and stuck some big mother fucking airs.  I started at the reeds but it was crap there so I ran down the beach to my current good sand bars and it was at least 5 times better.  My boy Dave was out and my boy Trevor met me in the lot.  I had to get out around 10sih cause I had to take a group wine tasting at noon.  Tomorrow is my first day back working at Westmont.  I guess we are backed to timed sessions again.   

8/18/12 PM Session: 2-3ft, Santa Clara River Mouth
Time in Water: 1.5hrs
Waves Surfed: 21
After a hearty Christy’s breakfast Zeek and I checked the conditions only to see it still rather clean with just a tad bit of texture and looking mad fun.  We suited up for a double.  At first although a bit slower and smaller there were a few good ones.  I got one stupid drainer that I thought for sure I was going to get clipped on but then made.  Then  half way through the session the wind began to pick up and the lower tide began causing it too close out and have tons of back wash on it from the shallow sand bar.  Getting a good one seemed fruitless at this point, but I still had to make quota.  I was surfing the reeds and should have hiked back down to where I was this morning where it appears to still be looking fun.  That the price you pay for laziness.  Still what a great day of surfing.  Im so exhausted and sun burnt right now.  Dont think I would have it any other way.

8/18/12 AM Session: 2-4+ft, Santa Clara River Mouth
Time in Water: 2hrs
Waves Surfed: 49
Last night I got fucking hammered at the Wild Cat with my friend Vidal.  He got thrown out sloppy as fuck.  I dragged his drunk ass back to his house all the way up town. Needless to say it too me way longer to get home then I would have liked and I was drunk as all fuck leaving me very hung over when this dude Zeek called me at 7am to meet up for a surf down in Ventura.  Zeek found me through this blog and hit me up that he was going to be in town and wanted to score a session.  I checked all the available data and told him I expected today to be the day.  We met up and cruised to the Harbor where it looked  like the wind was already up according to the flags.  Upon checking it conditions looked clean enough although a bit weak.  Then as we walked down to the river mouth it just kept looking better and better.  I took down the beach to the good banks I have been enjoying for the past few swells. The wind died and it became a barrel and air fest.  My boy Dave showed up and the three of us shared our own sick little peak for two hours.  So much fun.  Quite a contrast from yesterday.  That is the magic of surfing.

8/17/12 AM Session: 2-3ft, Emma Wood
Time in Water: 1hr 45mins
Waves Surfed: 27
My high hopes for this morning were all dashed when I checked the buoys and saw nothing had changed but a very long period steep south swell.  They got even more heart broken when my boy Ryan called from the River Mouth claiming it small and windy at 8am.  Looked like it was going to be a desperation paddle out at Emma Wood.  Read “Living as a Junkie” for more on this terrible session.

8/16/12 AM Session: 1-3+ft, Santa Clara River Mouth
Time in Water: 1.5hrs
Waves Surfed: 19
“It only takes one” my boy Trevor said smiling at me on the paddle back out from what I claimed as the wave of the day while he was paddling for it.  We knew what we were getting  ourselves into.  A good old fashioned “I drove so I am going to surf” desperation paddle.  Emma was pathetic and so was everything north.  Malibu seemed like a fruitless waste of time and money.  There was some trash at the river mouth and I mean the waves not the usual smorgasbord of dead birds, garbage and bums.  Upon jumping in the water was way colder then the previous night causing high regrets that I did not wear boots.  It was windy, weak, dumpy and backwashy and that is a lot of bad “y’s”.  I couldn’t get into it at all forced out my usual twenty except wave 19 was the best one I got all session and decided to quit while ahead.

8/15/12 PM Session: 1-3ft, Emma Wood
Time in Water: 1hr 15mins
Waves surfed: 28
I woke up after a rather fun although mellow night with Micaela at the Wild Cat.  I was feeling a bit lethargic thanks to the grey skies.  I figured if there was going to be a marine layer the least that could happen would be light wind.  That was a lie when all my Ventura friends hit me back that it was in fact windy and had been since early.  The buoys looked small so I decided to sleep in opting for the evening session.  Conditions did not get any better but I really wanted to surf so I cruised to Emma in the hopes of a good surf.  It was every type of terrible that one could imagine.  Still I managed to get a few fun ones and a head dip.  The sunset was spectacular and it just felt great get out there. 

8/14/12 AM Session: 1-3ft, Emma Wood
Time in Water: 2hrs
Waves Surfed: 32
After a night of extremely heavy drinking with Micaela at the Wild Cat, round 1 and 2 won by me, we cruised to Emma Wood in search of the worlds worst surf session ever.  Actually I ended up having a really fun time and even got a decent frontside tube.  Micaela had a few.  Dane paddled out of like six waves, ripped the fuck out of the meager offerings then went home.  Sean Hayes paddled out for a spell.  All I can say is it was small, average a tad on the busy side for my liking.  How long till winter again?

8/13/12 AM Session: 2-3ft, Emma Wood
Time in Water: 1.5hrs
Waves surfed: 26
Last night I smoked the best fucking pot I have ever ingested in my life.  After that terrible Rincon Left session my boy Trevor and I enjoyed a sunset bake on the cliffs above Bates Beach.   As a result any plans I had for the night were out the window.  I floated home on a cloud.  By the time I got into the Barb the munchies set in so I stopped at Rudy’s and scarfed down two giant fluatas and a bunch of chips.  Then I went home and completely passed out on my couch in front of Seinfeld.  Needless to say I woke up bright and early very well rested.  Hmm maybe I should go back to smoking instead o f drinking?   But I love alcohol sooo much more.  The wind looked like it was already up at 7:30am got to love when that happens.  I cruised to Harbor although I knew it was going to suck there just by looking at La Conchita.  Ultimately I ended up at terrible peaky Emma Wood with 25 people all crammed into one or two very tight peaks.  I had a few but was completely bummed by the crowd.  Then a van full of six dudes from the valley showed up and they were terrible surfers who though they were sweet and proceeded to paddle everyone out there.  After being almost run over, waves ruined and dropped in on twice by these assholes I was over it and rather then get angry and cause a fight I went home. “Im sooo sorry man I did not see you back there”.  That’s because I was clearing ten yards of section only to watch your ass attempt a stinky cut back right in my face.  Whoooooooooooooooooot!  Did I mention that the Cstreet report claimed and I quote “Small to locally fun size surf “.  Does that mean that the surfing is so bad around here this time of year we need to say locally fun: translation: if there is some type of horse shit to ride it must be fun. FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

8/12/12 PM Session: 2-3ft, Rincon Left
Time in the Water: 1.5 hrs
Waves surfed: 28
Another fun ass night of gnarl with the  boys and an overnight female friend kept me in bed till well after ten.  That was fine cause word got to me that the morning session was windy and crap anyway.  I wanted to go surf Emma Wood in the afternoon.  I got hung up with some business dealings that took longer then expected forcing me to get stuck in terrible Sunday night traffic.  I almost bailed on the session all together near Summerland the traffic was so bad.  I weaved the side streets of Carpinteria to Rincon where there were some meager offerings up on the left up at Indicator.  My old work friend Trevor was getting dressed when I pulled up and I decided to paddle with him.  I am not a huge fan of Rincon left and really wished traffic did not keep me from Emma, but after spending nearly an hour to get to Rincon I was too afraid to see how long it would have taken to get to Emma.   Damn L.A. People.

8/11/12 PM Session: 4-6+ft, Santa Clara River Mouth
Time in Water: 2hrs
Waves Surfed: 31
What an amazing surf that should not have been.  All I can say it all time River Mouth, light crowd and may have been the best surf of the summer.  Read Blog “Better the Sex” for more details.

8/10/12 AM Session: 2-3+, Emma Wood
Time in Water: 1.5hrs
Waves Surfed: 29
To be honest I really did not have any expectations going into this morning.  I was hoping for something fun to surf, but was not expecting shit.  I got a later start then I normally would have liked courtesy of an over night guest who could not remember for the life of her where she was staying it being her first night in SB last night.  Her trip is already off to a banner start getting to spend the night with none other then me.  I got down to the harbor and it was drained, walled and windy.  I wanted to go to Malibu and see about surfing either Zeros or Leo but couldn’t find a partner in crime.  Finally I settled for average looking crowed Emma Wood.  There we good waves everywhere but I could not buy a wave to save my own life out there.  Everything I did get I blew.  Maybe I should not have broken two week no sex streak.  No sex=amazing surfing?????

8/9/12 AM Session: 1-3ft, Mesa Lane
Time in Water: 1hr
Waves Surfed: 20
My roommate hooked me up with a solid catering gig last night.  On a high from the easy money we decided to go out and celebrate.  I got bit more drunk then I would have liked and got out of hand on the walk home.  It was one of those angry rant nights that I believe Kooky knows well.  As a result I was hung over as hell all day.  I slept till 11:30 and then just could not even motivate myself to go drive south for some real surf.  I noticed the East Santa Barbara buoy had some swell on it and cruised to Mesa Lane.  It was tiny and the bottom sucks right now cause the reef is completely buried.  I forced myself to surf since I drank excessively, damn relapse Wednesday.  I paddled out and it was about as bad as it looked. I did manage a few.  This one dude got this stupid tiny barrel on the shore brake that was cool.  I bailed to go to work only to find out I no longer had a job.  It was cool cause I was going to quit today anyway.  Looks like some real swell for the weekend.

8/8/12 AM Session: 2-3ft, Emma Wood
Time in Water: 1.5hrs
Waves surfed: 28
I must say this run of lots of swell and lots of wind is starting to take a toll on me.  I mean what the fuck am I living in Ocean Beach, SF or something.  My name isn’t John Mauriello.  I cruised to the harbor and that was more trash although it looked a bit more organized then yesterday.  I was not about to have another session of totally punishment.  I wanted to go to Malibu but at the moment my finances wont allow such a luxury.  Ha, surfing crowded ass Malibu in 2ft chop a luxury.  What has my life come to?  The California dream I guess.  I wanted to see what was happening at Cstreet but the scene there is still a mess with the damn fair and some random flower show.  Finally I settled for a somewhat drained out Emma Wood.  There was a wind swell right hander coming in by the entrance that looked ok.  I ended up getting some fun ones there till the tide got a bit higher and turned it off.  I did manage to stick a solid bs air reverse and I have not pulled one of those in a while.  Then it got stupid crowded with groms and kooks causing me to get over it, rant to my boy Dave in the lot about how much I hate California, America and life in general before going home.  Looks like plenty more waves for the rest of the week and weekend now only if the wind can cooperate. 

8/7/12 AM Session: 2-4+ft, Santa Clara River Mouth
Time in Water: 1.5hrs
Waves surfed: 15
I knew just by checking it I should have never paddled out.  New Jetty almost sold me, but once again it was just not what I was looking for.  The tide was low leaving Emma out of the picture.  My only next option was Cstreet and with the fair still going on parking shit.  I saw a couple and figured with the rising tide it may get better.  Of course I forgot to add that the wind was getting worse.  I went down to the reeds where although a bit on the drained and dumpy side appeared to have a few corners.  Robbie and his mate were out in the center of the mouth just north of where I sat yesterday.  I watched them get slaughtered by a few before deciding to stay put.  It did not take long to join in the massacre.  As it turned out it was just coming in, doubling up and folding over itself on the sand bar with out enough face to allow for a rider on most waves.  There were a few corners but the strong current and shifty swell angle made that hard to find.  Maybe if the wind was slack It could have been do able, but for the most part I would have to deem it completely unridable.  I might as well have just stayed at home and hit myself with a hammer for an hour and saved the gas money. 

8/6/12 AM Session: 2-4+ft, Santa Clara River Mouth
Time in Water: 1.5hrs
Waves Surfed: 39
I was awoken this morning at 7am by the most unlikely of people, Stephanie.  After being blown off by her nearly a dozen times I just had wrote her off as another rude dumb ass bitch who was no longer worth my time.  I was still pretty beat up form all the Fiesta party and since she got me out of bed I decided to take her out of gratitude.  Shit I was not going to make things easy for her.  I decided long ago I was not going to ruin another one of my personal surfs for her.  I took her to River Mouth where I knew conditions would be a bit out of her range of expertise.  Unfortunately the wind was already on it when we got there.  I was super over it, but Steph stoked me into giving the Mouth a paddle.  Sure enough there were some solid ones although very difficult and rough with the wind and drained out tide.  I had a few good ones along with a few good beatings.  I did manage to make a very interesting messy barrel I was stoked on.  I think Stephanie had fun too.  Didn’t really ask come to think about it.  Who cares I most likely wont hear from her again for another two weeks.  Women suck….

8/5/12 No Surfing: 1-3ft
Man fiesta kicked my ass this weekend.  Too much party had me not waking up till around noon.  An even worse surf report had me completely over it.  There may have been some small south swells creeping in at dark, but I was not about to fight traffic to find out.  Instead I went on a beach walk all the way to Mesa Lane and back.  I found a bunch of sea glass.  Then I came home, made a club sandwich for dinner and passed out while watching a Seinfeld.  

8/4/12 PM  Session: 1-3ft, Santa Clara River Mouth
Time in Water: 2hrs
Waves Surfed: 34
After a night of heavy fiesta partying I needed a bit of sleep.  I just could not motivate myself to go surf at 8am. I woke up around noon, watched the US Open then decided I was going to punish myself by forcing a paddle at windy terrible Emma Wood or Harbor.  Sure enough Emma was crowded with kooks on long boards and fun shapes, a first for that spot.  I watched it for a bit not seeing mush I was interested in, plus add the danger factor of a lineup full of kooks who mus have gotten lost on the way to Mondos and I was not having it.  I cruised to harbor where I was hoping to find something at New Jetty or even South Jetty.  Those were a no go and it was looking pretty terrible at the mouth.  I cruised around the beach, took some abstract photos of dead birds, picked up some sea glass.  I noticed a large amount of white water all the way down practically to Mcgrath.  I suited up and hiked down there where sure enough there were some although choppy really fun bowls.  I surfed the terribleness exceedingly well.  I always was a mudder.  I guess its not really a punishment if you have fun.

8/3/12 AM Session: 3-5ft, Santa Clara River Mouth
Time in Water: 3hrs
Waves Surfed: 65
I knew there were going to be decent waves this morning.  Buoys had ample wind swell and long period south swell, not to mention still winds all morning with a steadily rising tide push.  You can’t make better conditions for a great River Mouth session.  I got there and the parking lot was full and the usual surfer cock and bull. I hate that shit so I park in the Harbor lot instead so I can change and get ready for the surf in peace. There is nothing more annoying then people bothering you about what you think about the conditions and if you checked anywhere else.  News flash if I am suiting up and paddling out it must be the best I have seen.  I ran into my boy Dave in the lot and we walked all the way down past the reeds to the middle of the actual mouth where there were a series of throaty sand bars.  Literally we had four peaks all to ourselves trading barrels and sick ripable bowls.  I brought down the biggest FS full rotation air I have ever done.  I landed on the back and could not completely ride it out but still I was pumped on it.  I cant wait to get more tomorrow!

8/2/12 AM Session: 2-3ft, Emma Wood
Time in Water: 1.5hrs
Waves Surfed: 24
God I was hung over this morning.  At last night’s family dinner I did Mexican in celebration of the Fiesta 2012 kick off, chicken enchiladas in a tamatillo sauce, refried beans, Mexican rice and fried Ice Cream for dessert.   Despite the worry of dying in a flash fire from the dessert (a little fire actually did break out, but that is because I spilled some oil on the burner) things went well even if it was just four of us.  I drank like five beers then 3/4 of a bottle of riesling before eventually passing out at around 2am.  Needless to say I had a slow start.  It worked out just fine since the old swell that was popping at River Mouth has dissipated and the new swell had yet to really show there.  I cruised to Emma Wood and it was a shit show.   There had to be about thirty guys tightly packed among four peaks or so.  I watched it for a bit then gave a look at the Gold Coast where there were some inconsistent scattered peaks, but with the impending high tide I opted to go back to Emma Wood and slog it out with the crowd.  Sure enough it was a shit show all grommed out and annoying.  My boy Robbie was out trying to make something of it.  I managed to find a few really good lefts.  Enough to motivate my friends Pierce and Kyle to give it a paddle.  The three of us showed the groms that old dogs can still hang.  I met this cool surfing family from SLO who stopped for a surf on their way to spend the weekend at the US Open in Huntington.  I don’t know why I looked like someone nice to talk to especially since I had on my battle face although these days I think I smile a bit too much out there disarming my usual unapproachable look.  I’m sorry what can I say I just have way too much fun. 

8/1/12 AM Session: 1-3ft, River Mouth
Time in Water: 1.5hrs
Waves Surfed: 28
My expectations were low heading down to surf this morning thus I was pleasantly surprised when there were still some clean little bowls coming in.  Tide was a bit fat and getting fatter, but the sand is good right now so it did not matter that much.  I jumped in and found a good number of waves.  Stuck a really fast clean big fs reverse.  My performance has been at the very least on an up swing.  Looks like some new swell to start showing tomorrow into the weekend.  If only I could get the rest of my life to where my surfing is things would be in good shape.  I guess that is just my cross to bare.