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Archive for April, 2011

A Big Day

Today is the culmination of one of the hardest set of days and emotional turn oil I have ever had to go through in my entire life.  For the past two weeks I have been in a constant state of limbo unsure of my future.  There were laughs, although mostly cries.  The occasional fit of anger, a therapeutical surf or two and two nights of good old fashioned depression drinking (thank you Steve “oh we will only go out for one beer….Hey this next game is for shots!”)  Whatever the different coping methods involved I got through it.

I dont think I would have made it had it not been for some many amazing people in my life, both new and old.  Its funny they always say you find out who your real friends are in your darkest hour.  As it turns out there more genuine friends around me these days then ever before in my life.  People whom I did not even like very much got behind me and gave me a shoulder to cry on.  I met a group of absolute strangers who stayed with me all night, cheered me up and then invited me to their lavish party the next day.

At said party I met tons of other great people.  I spent some time with my college neighbors next store whom I had kind of always written off as a pack of immature bros.  They ended up being alright guys too.  Here on SurfingRuinedMylife.net you have all been exceptionally supportive and for that I thank you from bottom of my heart.  The first night of my agony I felt so alone in the world.  Now I think very much otherwise.

I feel stronger then ever and Im ready to face the challenge set before in 16 hours.  I dont know what outcome is going to be.  What I do know is that I am prepared for whatever the circumstance.  I feel I have handled the whole situation in the most adult and moral standing a man in my place could possibly accomplish.  I was Adam Bede, Howard Roark and maybe even a touch of Darcy.

Now all I can do is wait and see and pray for the strength to “keep on keeping on”.  One thing I will promise is that no matter what happens over the next 24 hours I am going to take the high road from here on in.  Keep me in your thoughts and prayers tonight and send out those positive vibes, because my friends no matter what, tomorrow is another day.

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Book XI: Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens, first published serially 1837, 601 pages

It always comes back to Dickens for me.  By far I would have to say he is one of my favorite authors to ever hold a pen.  His wit and portrayal of characters is unsurpassed.   I really did want to wait a while before introducing another Dickens novel to the club with Great Expectations only just recently being entered, but my desire to read more of his work overtook my zeal for variety.  Oliver twist is one of his darker novels as far as looking into the despicable nature of the human soul.  Go out grab a copy and lets wrap out minds into yet another literary masterpiece.  I lost my tattered thrift store copy and had to go out and buy one at a real book store and still it only costs me $5.  I bought that and a blank journal and the blank journal cost thrice a great work in human literature.

Summary of Book X: Lord of the flies 

If you missed Lord of the Flies I would definitely recommend picking up a copy, although from the feed back I have gotten it appears that I am the only person in the America who did not read the book in 8th grade.  All I can say is it is a powerfully disturbing tale of human nature in its ugliest form.  Its all of 200 pages, you can read that on two train commutes, pick up and see for yourself.

This has nothing to do with Charles Dickens, Lord of the Flies or Oliver Twist but I thought it was a pretty thought provoking picture. "Talk amongst yourselves".

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Groovin’ High Song of the Week: You Were Meant For Me, Jewel

There was a time when Jewel kept it real and was dynamo.  Her music really spoke to people.  I’m talking back when she was just some folk singer from Alaska with jagged teeth.  Even with those teeth her beauty was breath taking.  Alas like everyone else in the world her soul had a price and she was paid out for it thus ruining everything.   I’m not here to lament over Jewel’s current musical direction.

This song comes from her first hit album Pieces of You and is one of my all time favorite songs.  Its funny how when yo are in your most vulnerable state how important music becomes in your life again.  For a long time now I had begun to tire of music in general.  Sure I still always had it playing , but I just did not feel passionate about it.  Then I entered into my current state of torment and all of a sudden certain songs make me smile while others bring me to tears.  I have even broken out the saxophones again.

Tonight I managed to luck into a free ticket to see this guy Chris Robinson play at a very small venue called Soho here in Santa Barbara.  I had no idea who he was, but a new friend of mine, this French guy Alex is apparently a fan.  Turns out Robinson was in some rock group called the Black Crows and they were super popular.   I think I had heard of them.  I live under a rock remember, so don’t judge me.   I just recently met this dude Alex and in an effort to cheer me up and get me off the couch I decided to join him.

I have to say I was super impressed by the performance even if the style of music was not quite my cup of tea.  The band was super tight and the keyboardist absolutely killed it.  Think Joseph Zawinal but in a rock style setting.  I met this dude Alex at some random party this past Saturday, but that is a whole other blog altogether.  Lets get back to Jewel.

I was at this show and saw all these couples dancing and having a great time.  Everyone was having a blast.  I although very grateful to be out became very sad.  Truth be told today was a tough day for me.  I don’t want to get into it except for the fact that I spent the bulk of the day just wanting to crawl under the covers of my bed and cry. I persevered though.

That is when You Were Meant For Me popped into my head.  I played it on loop from my ipod like ten times just letting it speak to me.  That song embodies my current situation right now to a tee.  Its funny how much pain people who care for one another can inflict upon each other.  I guess pain is a part of life and something we all must go through.  I know I personally have been guarding myself against it for years and once I finally realized I had dropped that guard it was too late.

I’m sorry for crying in my Cheerios again, this is not what surfingruinedmylife.net was suppose to be.  Its late and Im going on another sleepless night awaiting an answer I feel more and more to not hold the outcome I would like.  Time heals all wounds and if we can learn something from them then just maybe it was worth it.  I know I have learned a lot in a short period of time about myself and how I want to experience the world from now on.  For right now I’m going to have get through this period of melancholy first.

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To quote the famous Frank Sinatra tune.  There has not been much to read up here in the past few weeks and all I can is that I apologize for that.  April has been a bit of a tough month for me.  It has also been a month of affirmation for me as well.  Of course nothing worth doing is easy and Lisanti Land has been turned upside down.  You can read “The House of Lisanti is in Disarray” blog for more details on that.  “Before enlightenment chop wood carry water, after enlightenment chop wood carry water”.

I still have no resolution on that situation yet, but I will know in the coming days.  I dont really have any say in the matter and my fate is in the hands of another.  All I can do is stay positive and pray to a higher power to give me the strength to face whatever the outcome is in a positive manner.  To have the patience, the guidance and will to do the right thing no matter how painful for me.

I know things have been very ambiguous here on my situation and once again I am sorry for that.  I think I share a lot of personal information here to the public on a regular basis.  So maybe you can cut me just little bit of slack this time around.  I promise though once I have a grasp on things I will tell you the whole story.  It’s a long one and probably rivals the “How Surfing Ruined My Life” series which is what gave me the idea for this website in the first place.  It will be more of a sequel.  Trust me its a great tale and I think worth waiting for.

Next Im going to start posting again here regularly.  There will be Recipe D’Jours, Groovin’ High, UCB (I will have two bonus ones to make up for the two missed).  Im about to finish work in ten days so maybe I will get some time to work on the coffee table!   I also want to add product reviews of things I come across in my daily  life, the book club will still be going strong and I plan to post a reading list too.  I am going to repost the New Zealand Chronicles from Myspace.com with my own hindsight notes on them.

Finally I want to take this blog into a more positive light.  I know we have heaps of fun being derogatory and politically incorrect, over sexual and sometimes just plain low brow asinine bull shit.  Im not saying all of that is going to stop, but it is no longer going to be the cornerstone of surfingruinedmylife.net.  There you have it a new direction for a new Chris Lisanti.  Thanks for being a part of the blog and I promise to do my best to give you the best entertainment for your brain I possibly can.   The price of admission is free.

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I sat there on the bluff at Emma Wood over looking the pathetic waist to chest high windblown inconsistent mid tide south ground swell lines getting ripped to shreds with four guys on it rather unenthusiastically.  Truth of the matter I was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally.  My life has been on a run away train the last two weeks down a track unknown to me.  On another level I feel I have really grown as a person in that short time as well.  Upsetting things happen from time to time and how one reacts to them can really say a lot about their character.

Initially I had many terrible thoughts of anger, rage and revenge (my all time favorite at one point in life).  Instead of going down the paths that have led me constantly astray I sat down and thought out my situation and did what I think was the best thing to do.  I did what I think a “real adult man”, a “respectable man” would have done.  More Im not ready to discuss, but I feel drained.  Someone told me its our actions and the stories we tell that give insight of the person we are.

After three days being attacked by misery, despair and ardurous emotions I thought I had dispelled from my persona years ago I needed a mental break.  After work to Emma Wood I went.  Considering all of the above and the fact that I did the LAX three and half hour circle before work today starting at 3am the urge to grovel was less then enticing.  I did my usual Emma Wood practice of bumbling around the parking lot for over a half hour or so kicking dirt, making phone calls to kill time all in the hope that I would see a few nuggets to peak my interest.

An hour past at least, and I was about to get in my car and drive away when this random dude pulled up next to me looked at the slim pickings, then pulled out a suit and began getting dressed.  Amazed I asked him if he checked the point (cstreet). He said it was windy and not any good.  I replied “your really going out”?  “There are two guys out and Im sure its better then it looks.  Its always better to surf then not surf” he retorted.  Those last words sounded very familiar to me.  Then he looked right at me  as if he could see through my soul and all my internal suffering and said “I think you should really surf too, you could use it”.

On that note I put on my suit and jumped in the meager conditions.  He was right I could use the surf.  We shared the empty torn up line-up for about 45 minutes before an old surf acquaintance of mine decided to paddle out as well.  Its funny I think the only times I surf with this guy is whenever Emma Wood is horrible.  I had a few fun ones although nothing to write home about.  The water was very clear and clean and it was nice to take my mind off things for a short while.

Surfing has been my life blood since I was ten and my antagonist for just as long.   Its funny no matter how many times surfing ruins my life I keep on going back to it.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results…

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By now you have noticed there have not been any new blogs here or even surflog updates since Friday.  I would like to just plain blame it on laziness as usual, but that unfortunately is not the case.  Actually in a round about way laziness did help to cause my woes.  And as always surfing did help too.  I did not pull the name of this website out of hat people.  My mind is rather cloudy right now and emotionally Im hurting pretty bad.

Im caught in a rather ambiguous situation at the moment the result of which either way will mean a major life style change for yours truly.  Im not going to get into any details at the moment because like I said things are up in the air for the time being and I just need to stay positive and keep on keeping on.  All I can say is that your support and understanding in the matter of not having as much SurfingRuinedMyLife.net entertainment will be greatly appreciated.

I had this wonderful garden that I grew and enjoyed the fruits of for a long time.  Then I got really busy in my life and began to neglect this amazing garden of mine.  Except I did not  neglect it in the sense that I left it alone entirely.  Instead I kept picking all the fruit and vegetables, selfishly enjoying the yield without the toil.  With that kind of care it is not long before your garden begins to wither and die.

Being the oblivious bone head I normally am I came onto the problem a bit late.  Now Im putting 100% of my efforts into saving may garden, which I believe or hope still has some life in it yet and can be nourished back to its once beautiful self with lusciously flowing branches, crisp green leaves and the ripest vegetables in existence.  I think if I can save my garden it will be all the stronger from here on out and I know I for one will never let it get to the state of disrepair I have.  Im watering and trimming and toiling all with the aspirations of having back what once was and more.  At this point all I can do is wait and see.

Whatever the outcome one thing I can say for sure is that it has been a refreshingly humbling experience.  Despite how I portray my character Chris Lisanti is always in need of improvement.  Sometimes I improve very rapidly then all of a sudden regress.  Maybe that is natural for humans, I dont know.  This whole scenario has allowed me to do a ton of thinking about who I am, who I was and who eventually I want to be.  I know I have wrote all this before, but I really do want to be a great man, an honorable man.  I want to be looked up to for my good deeds and actions and not because I did a big air or got a deep barrel.  I dont want to be the man because I can chug a 40 oz and then wake up in a puddle of my own vomit in the morning.  Lastly I dont want to be recognized by the number of women I have had sex with.

So thats all I have to leave you with for now.  I promise as soon as my life has some concrete answers about which direction I am to head in you will be the first to know.  One thing I will promise is either way, however painful the reality may be I will persevere and  when all is said and done reinvent just the kind of person Chris Lisanti is.

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Yeah thats right, start the spring quarter off on the right foot with 2 extra bounus Points!!!!!!!  Spring is a short quarter ending on June 1st so every point counts in this race for the grand prize, a dirty used condom soiled by none other then Chris Lisanti!!!! Dont forget whoever has the most total points at the end of the year wins the self expense trip to Lisanti Land, Santa Barbara California for your own personal Chris Lisanti Adventure tout.  Wow I used my name a lot of times in the first few sentences of the blog.  How much more narcissistic can a person get???

Here is what you have to do.  Yesterday I posted a blog about my recent plumbing woes and wrote that I had a similar problem back in 2009.  I think it was around September or October to be precise.  There were two or three Myspace blogs posted about said incident.  Here is the challenge. Go back to the myspace blog by using this link here http://www.myspace.com/yellowstag/blog and find in my archives the blogs that subsequently go along with them.  Paste the blogs all of the text that goes with them in the comments here.  I will give out one point for each blog that had to do with the spill.  If Im wrong and there is only one blog about the incident then you will get two points but Im pretty sure there are like three of them.  Please copy and paste the link as well in your comment.  Copy and paste the link for the actual blog and not just the list.  Thanks and good searching.

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