Archive for November, 2010

On and On

Not to much to report here except to report on nothing at all.  If you have been following the surf log you may have noticed that I have not surfed more then one day in the last two weeks.  First I hurt my back at work lifting too many trays of bacon over to the oven causing me to have to sit out of four days of ride able surf.  Currently I am healing but am still only at 80%.  I must be getting old.

Then we plunged into some of the coldest weather and worst flat spells I have ever experienced out here in California with nights just hovering around the low 40’s high 30’s.  I managed to sneak in an average session on turkey day whose details you can read about in the surf log if you so desire, but let me break the suspense for you; it was far from life altering.

As far as my holiday went and my four day mini vacation from work I must say it was not at all the fun I had anticipated.  I had hoped to get obliterated downtown every night yet managed to only get out for like one and half nights of which only one was close to what I would call an out of control night.  Maybe another sign of me getting old either that or proof I have no friends here anymore.

I spent Thanksgiving at my good friend Ryan’s house in Ventura with his family and close friends.  It was a decent evening with the exception of little kids running all over the place although I guess they could have been more rambunctious then they were.  For kids I guess one could safely say they were rather well behaved.  I remember when I was their age I would have broken at least three items in the house before the turkey even hit the table.  Then again my childhood would make a perfect advertisement for birth control, possibly my adulthood as well.  That’s why I don’t care to procreate.  If I get a kid even 1/8 as bad as I was growing up he would be a handful.

No thanks; one Chris Lisanti is too much for this world as it is.  Seriously Ryan did a great job.  He cooked the turkey on a barbeque and it was well done.  I made the desserts baking a Pumpkin Pie (see the Pumpkin Pie Extravaganza for that one) and my own little invention, Apple Cobbler Cups that I will feature here at some point in Recipe D’Jour.  The last three years I have bounced around in all sorts of different company on Thanksgiving, spending last year in Santa Cruz breaking bread with Mauriello, Mark Hamilton, his roommate and her mother.  The year before that I was raging with a bunch of crazy Russians in a multimillion-dollar compound in Puerto Rico.

Here on SurfingRuinedMyLife.net I must say I am rather pleased with the growth I have gotten.  I got the best Internet search hit ever this week.  Someone searched for “Im poor and Im angry” and was led to Surfingruinedmylife.net.  How right on the nose that search engine was cause I certainly am poor and very angry.  Some other genius searched for “A midget without arms or legs”, I got a “Carne Asada Vagina” as well.  Those were the most entertaining ways people found their way to this bullshit.  That’s all I got for the moment.  If I don’t die stay tuned for more boring news posts like this in the future.

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Every now and then I find something so amazing out there in cyber land that I just have to share it with everyone here at SurfingRuinedMyLife.net.  Llamas With Hats is just that sort of thing.  It is an animated web cartoon series I am putting up there with Salad Fingers (If you have not seen this gem which was featured back in the Myspace days check it out here http://www.fat-pie.com/salad.htm).

Llamas with hats are right up this same alley of sick and twisted sense of humor.  Below are all three episodes.   For me it was a win all around.  I love llamas, I love hats, I love llamas with hats and I love their antics!  Watch and enjoy.

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

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Bon Appetit

This weeks UCB is won by John Mauriello with the topic “Why food, what made you want to be a chef”.  I got to be honest people I was a little disappointed in this week’s UCB turn out.  Im going to write it off as everyone was busy with the holiday, but lets throw down some gold this week.  There are only four more UCB’s Left for the quarter and the 2010 UCB year.  Im going to make next week’s UCB worth double points to stir up some enthusiasm.


I have been cooking since my grandmother and mother taught the family Italian recipes when I was 12.  Even then at that young age I loved doing it.  On the holidays I got to help out with the preparations for all the meals.  When I turned 14 I got a job working at a pizzeria on the Point Pleasant, NJ boardwalk called “Joey Tomatoes Pizza”.  At first I was hired as a buser/counter person but soon after proved my temperament not cut out to properly serve the public.


Following my third strike bucking a rude customer I was steadily ushered into the “dungeon” or the basement of the restaurant where the prep work for the food was done.  I was trained in the makings of various toppings, dough, and sauces and for the next three years of my life from May to October that was my reality six days a week eight hours a day, pizza prep.  I loved it.


I got listen to my music while I worked and had a real sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.  When I was 17 till I was 19 my boss was so impressed with my work he made me in charge of the preps for all the pizza sold on the boardwalk which at the time encompassed four different eateries.  I even had my own staff, Oleg and Gleb these two crazy Russian guys whom my friend Troll almost died of alcohol poisoning one night trying out drink.  And Sergio and Tomas these two Romanian guys who were working the summer in America to save up enough money to buy their own snake farm in one of those unstable post Iron Curtain Eastern European countries.   Oleg and Gleb actually both married American women so that they could stay in America and both have kids and everything.  I don’t know how the snake thing worked out for the other two.


My crew and I did around 400lbs of dough a day amongst mass quantities of everything else that goes on pizzas.  We used to have to fill two fifty-gallon garbage pales with pizza sauce everyday. It was exhausting work but was a big help in me scoring my current job. My next restaurant job was not for a few years afterward when I took a job as pantry cook over at a swanky restaurant in Spring Lake.


There I was in charge of all the salads, appetizers and desserts.  I liked the work but was always rubbing elbows with the head waitress till one night I exploded on her calling her out for the loser in life that she was.  She ended up having a breakdown and went home in tears.  I got fired.  People skills have always been a weak point for me, although that lady was a fucking bitch ass cunt anyway.  I hope she takes her own life by dropping a toaster into her bath tube.  The world would for sure be a better place.


Why did I pick food?  I love to eat and for that matter I think most people do.  Eating is pleasurable and puts a smile on everyone’s face especially when the food is good.  When I cook a person’s favorite meal and see the look of pure bliss on his face it fills me with an unbelievable sense of satisfaction.  I love watching the kids at the college excitingly tear through my line when I have a pizza or other dish they enjoy.


I may come off as pretty confident person, but there are few things that I am actually truly good at.  Making food is one of them.  Since I had to do something to keep from starving, no pun intended I figured becoming a chef was the key to the next chapter here in Lisanti Land.  We had the Music chapter, The Professional Surfing Chapter, now its time for the food chapter.

If thats not the happy face of eating I dont know what is.

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How to Make a Pumpkin Pie From a Real Pumpkin


I talked about it for years and mulled it over in my head every fall, but for whatever reason (most likely surfing) I did not ever get around to making a pumpkin pie from scratch.  This year I was motivated and thanks to a very entertaining trip to the local pumpkin patch and nearly getting lost forever in a corn maze I had a pumpkin.  Now there are certain kinds of pumpkins that are suggested for pie making and those pre-canned pumpkin mixes are actually made from a type of squash and not real pumpkin at all.  I decided to use the one that I picked, like I said I wanted this thing to be as authentic as possible down to physically going and picking the thing off the vine (although most of the pumpkins were already pre picked and I think the vines were just there for show and truthfully if I really wanted to go all the way from scratch I should have grown the damn thing from a seed).  For all this seasonal fun I got to pay $10 bucks for a pumpkin I could have waited till after they closed and stole the damn thing like I normally do this time of year.


I used your average everyday run of the mill pumpkin and it came out fabulous, definitely a slightly different taste but very good just the same.  Here is this week’s Recipe D’Jour in honor of Turkey Day.  I just made my second pumpkin pie ever, finishing it an hour ago for tomorrow.  My buddy Ryan invited me over for Thanksgiving with his family so I decided to provide the desert.  Although this recipe comes a bit too late for your holiday maybe you can use it next year.


Total Cost: $15.50 (yeah you can buy a whole pie for like $3, remember the pumpkin cost $10)
Feeds about eight people

Ingredient List:

  • Pumpkin – 2-4lbs
  • Vegetable Oil – Table spoon
  • Water – 1 cup
  • 9inch Pie Crust
    • Ice Water – 1 ½ cup
    • Flour –  1 ¼ cup
    • Salt – ¼ Teaspoon
    • Butter – 4 Tablespoons
    • Shortening – 2 Tablespoons
  • Pumpkin Puree – 1 ½ cup (you create from pumpkin)
  • Heavy Cream – 1 ½ cup
  • Brown Sugar – ½ cup
  • Flour – 1 tablespoon
  • Salt – ½ teaspoon
  • Cinnamon – 1 teaspoon (ground)
  • Ginger – ½ teaspoon (ground)
  • Nutmeg – ¼ teaspoon (ground)
  • Light Corn Syrup – ½ cup
  • Egg – 3
  • Vanilla – 1 teaspoon


Step 1: Prep Pumpkin – Wipe pumpkin clean of all residue and dirt with a damp rag. Remove stem.  Cut pumpkin in half vertically.  Remove all pumpkin seeds and subsequent insides.  Save seeds for Roasted Pumpkin Seeds.  Coat the inside of pumpkin with Vegetable oil.

This is your pumpkin after step 1

Step 2: Cook Down Pumpkin – In a baking pan large enough to fit both halves place pumpkin halves open side down.  Add 1 cup of water to pan.  Preheat oven to 350 Degrees F and cook at this temperature for around 60-80 minutes until pumpkin is adequately soft.

This is what your pumpkin should look like after being cooked down.

Step 3: Get the Puree – Allow pumpkin to cool to a comfortable handling temperature.  Scoop out entire inside of shell with a spoon.  It should come off rather easily. Mash up insides by hand.  This can also be done with a blender, hand mixer or a food processor.  I used a potato masher and then finished it off with an electric mixer.

Scoop out inside of pumpkin.

Your collected puree.

Step 4: Drain the Puree of any excess fluids – Scoop mixed puree into a sieve, I made a make shift one out of a strainer lined with three coffee filters and suspend over a bowl with enough room to catch excess fluids but without touching the sieve.  Cover and place in the refrigerator for around 3-4 hours to properly drain the puree.   After drained put aside 1 ½ cup for your pie any other excess you can freeze, but do it in 1 ½ cup portions so that you only have to defrost one pie worth the next time you feel so inclined to make a pumpkin pie.  I got three portions out of my pumpkin.

The make shift sieve.

Step 5: Make the Crust – Sure you can go to the store and buy those Pillsbury pre-made crusts or similar product, but like I said we are doing this from scratch.  Mix Flour, Salt, Butter and Shortening in large mixing bowl till it becomes a conglomerate of little beads of flour.  Add Ice water as needed, just enough to allow the dough to be kneaded. It is very necessary that ice water is used or crust will not roll out well and will be all cracky when you try and fit it to the pan.  Knead dough into a ball.  On a flat surface flatten ball into circle and then roll about 1/8 inch thick and ten-inch circumference.  You don’t need to have a perfect circle just as long as it is circular and fits inside your pan with a small overlap.  Place inside round pan and fold over the excess dough to form outside of piecrust.


Step 6: Make Filling – In large mixing bowl mix together flour and brown sugar.  Then add drained pumpkin puree from step 4 and Heavy Cream, blend together either by hand or with a mixer.  Add Salt, Cinnamon, Ginger and Nutmeg and mix again. Add Corn syrup and blend some more.  Add beaten Eggs and Vanilla and blend once more.

Mix your filling.

Step 7: Pour Filling Into Shell – Pour filling form step 6 into shell from step 5.

Step 8: Bake Pie – Preheat oven to 350 Degrees F and bake pie for 55-60 minutes.  After thirty minutes check to make sure crust is not getting burned, if so cover with tin foil.  Be sure to remove tin foil for last ten minutes of baking or so to brown up pie.


Step 9: Cool Pie – Check pie for doneness by either sticking a knife in it and if knife comes out clean it is done or jiggle it, if pie is not too jiggly it is done.  Allow pie to fully cool before serving.


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It occurred to me the other day that it has been quite some time since I have had what was formerly called on the myspace blog “week in review”.  I know each and every one of you is sitting around at home on the edge of your seats just wondering what the fuck Chris Lisanti has been up to.  Sure we have the occasional spot blog here and there where I rant and rave about some rather common misgiving that takes place, but overall since I started surfingruinedmylife.net I have not really kept anyone all that informed on whats been happening with me.

Truth be told I did not think anyone really cared nor did I for that matter, but then I figured I started the blog in 06′ in the first place as a sort of public diary to document my charade of a life.  For now on every Sunday or the ones I feel so inclined anyway I will write a brief update on what has been going on in my life.  Yeah how pumped are you?  Not that much, me neither.

Well my life has been really nothing more then a bore of lots of work and a little bit of surfing.  Im not going to write about my surfing escapades here because the surf log is an entire section of this blog you can visit that is updated daily with such information.   Work has been going good.  I have got into a pretty steady groove with both the pizza and grill stations.  Somehow it has gotten to the point where I can bang out 60 pizzas in under three hours or 550 sandwiches menu dependent.  I can cut 25 lbs of assorted vegetables in a rough chop in under an hour and chop up 100lbs of potatoes in about an hour and change.

My skillz with a knife have gotten pretty sharp, pun intended.  On the weekends I grill a total of 300 hundred burgers, fifty chicken sandwiches and 175 casadillas while standing in front of a flaming hot grill for six hours. I used feel burns now they are just a way of life.  Like today I burned up my thumb pretty good on the iron of the grill.  It must of hurt but I did not even realize I got burned till I got home and noticed a giant blister on my thumb.

This week I pretty much bought my entire knife kit.  After months of internet scouring for the best knives at the best prices I put together a fine assortment of professional knives for just under $250, a kit that should have costs close to $500.  How did I do it you ask.  All I can say is in life it is best to leave no stone unturned my friend.  I still have to get sharpening steel, a peeler and a tomato corer.  Stay tuned for a blog on my knives soon or a blog about me losing a finger, which ever comes first.

With all this work you would think I would be stacking some paper, but thats  not the case at all.  Fuck money Im going back to wampum.  I guess somehow I got promoted to primary ding guy at J7 as a result of Keoni going on an extended trip to Mexico.  Its cool at least I can work off my boards, but I am constantly reminded how much I hate doing ding repair.

Looks like I will be making a brief appearance in NJ in December from the 24th thru 28th just enough time to remember why I left so that I wont return for another two years.  Seriously I plan to be drunk most of the time so if you want to get thrashed with me let me know, plus I have not been home in two years so I have no idea whats hot in terms of where to party so anyone who knows whats up please feel free to guide me.

Thats all for now.   Like I said nothing too earth shattering this week to report.  Im rather boring these days actually so much so that I fell asleep twice while writing this.

Burger Time! For you its an intriguing picture, for me its an every day event!

Thank you and good night.

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Brown Rice Risotto In a Garlic Basil Sauce

This recipe could make a delightful vegetarian entrée or a splendid side dish to most meats.  I usually use it as a side dish and that is how I am portioning it as far as this blog is concerned.  Although as an entrée I would say used at this exact proportion it should feed four people comfortably.  Also feel free to add or subtract vegetables to suit your liking.  These were just the few I found worked the best for me.


Total Cost: $7.75
Feeds about 6-8 people as a side dish, 4 people as an entrée.

Ingredient List:

  • Brown rice – 1 ¼  cup
  • Zucchini – 1 Small Chopped
  • Yellow Squash – 1 Small Chopped
  • Sweet Onion – ½ Diced
  • Tomato – 15oz Diced
  • Garlic – ½ oz minced
  • Basil – 4 oz minced (Fresh)
  • Roasted Red Pepper – 5 oz Chopped
  • Brown Italian Mushrooms – 4 Chopped Julienne
  • Olive Oil  – two table spoons, 3 oz
  • Black Olives – 6 oz Chopped
  • Oregano – 1 ½ table spoons (Fresh or Dry)
  • Salt – 1 table spoon
  • Pepper – 1 tea spoon
  • Sage – 1 tea spoon
  • Butter – 1 table spoon


Step 1: Sautee Vegetables – In a large frying pan heat 1 table spoon of olive oil and 1 table spoon of butter, melt butter entirely in olive oil.  Combine Zucchini, Squash, Sweet Onion, Mushrooms, and red pepper.  Sautee on a high flame till soft.


Step 2: Brown Rice – In same frying pan as your sautéing vegetables pour in Brown rice and let it brown up a bit.  Cook for around five minutes stirring constantly.


Step 3: Create Basil Sauce – In a blender combine, Olive Oil (3oz), Basil, Garlic, Oregano, salt, Pepper and sage.  Blend till you have a liquid conformity.


Step 4: Cook the Rice – Pour Basil Sauce from step three and a cup and a half of water into frying pan with rice and vegetables.  Add diced tomatoes as well and Olives.  Cover and bring to a boil. Then let simmer for around 25-30 minutes or until rice has absorbed all of the water.


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Im pretty sure we have had this topic before but its definitely one that I have no problem revisiting.  But before we get into that yesterday I wrote a borderline non sequitur rant blog like we have not seen here in a long time, not since the early myspace.com days.  Back then I believe we had a rant blog at least once a week if not more.  I don’t really know what spurred it on except that I was looking at that Movember site and it got me very angry for no good reason.

I was faced with two choices either take my aggression out by beating my cat or writing a barely coherent rant blog.  For Alfie’s sake I chose the latter.  This week Nick the Kook ascends the ranks with the topic “What do I think about the current state of the US economy”.  Im not an economist by any means and you don’t have to worry about me being influenced by any third party media source considering I have not watched the news, read a newspaper or Magazine in more then four months.

What I spout is just from my own personal observations on things thus it will all be completely opinion based and therefore absolutely basis and far from a credible resource of any kind.  This is where I talk out my ass for the next few hundred words or so mostly about pure stupidity.  If you don’t want your IQ to drop a few points I would quit reading this now while you can still stare off into space with out drool coming out of your mouth.

First off I would like to say that I do believe that our economy is getting better (now that I have stated this the stock market is bound to rise fifty points on Monday, after all if Chris Lisanti from Surfingruinedmylife.net says things are getting better everyone will run out and invest.).  In all seriousness I think the worst is behind us for the time being.  I have noticed out here in SB alone a bunch more job openings, new stores and restaurants and an abundance of Japanese tourists.  If the Japo’s are shopping you know its going to be a good day in the books.

Second there is the state of our nearly bankrupt government.  Here in California we have had no money and been in a “crisis” situation for more then three years now.  I don’t really know what that means because the streets still get paved (with the exception of the 101 in between Ventura and Santa Barbara, that still looks like a fucking mine field), and all the other government bureaus seem to be getting along.  Certainly all those lazy good for nothing sacks of shit sitting at home watching reruns of “Full House” and Judge Judy all are still collecting their welfare checks.

Its funny cause when I don’t have any money in my bank account I cant continue to operate under my normal spending capacity.  As a matter of fact I just go with out any luxury and eat cold cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Governments must have some magic fairy dust they sprinkle and it creates a few billion bucks to fuck around with.  Like I said I don’t really have any factual information to back any of this up with and since Im not writing a research paper I  don’t care to look anything up.

Lastly what I would love to touch on, a reoccurring theme here at SurfingRuinedMyLife.net is the perversely gross unequal distribution of wealth in the United States economy.  Currently the gap between the rich and the poor is at one of the highest differences in our history.  Every year inflation rages yet wages stay the same or climb at a fraction of the percent of what things costs.  I sit and watch as the price of gasoline goes up nearly every year by 60% yet Im lucky if I get a quarter raise every year.

The working class is not getting paid what they are worth or even what they need to survive, meanwhile the rich are sitting in their hot tubs eating caviar from their five million dollar house on the hill while deciding which two hundred thousand dollar car they will take to go out and spend eighty five dollars a plate for dinner.  Yet the people who’s blood, sweat and soul went into cooking that meal, building that house and assembling those cars can barely afford to drive to work to do such things.

Almost everyone I work with has to work two or three jobs just to survive.  How in a time when some have so much everyone else has to kill themselves just to survive?  Its because these rich bastards know that they can pinch us for little and that we are dumb enough to work for while they stack paper higher and faster then ever.  If minimum wage got raised to a fair level say $14 an hour, an actual decent amount for a person to live on I think things would run a lot smoother.

Now I know what your thinking, Chris is crazy our economy would fall apart if minimum wage was so high.  It would cost more for everything, but if everyone had more money, everyone on a whole could spend more.  Workers who are not exhausted from working so many extra jobs would be more productive.  Also lets tax the shit out of these wealthy tyrants.  If they can afford to buy a five million dollar home then they can afford to put more into the government.

While we are at it lets get more regular everyday people into the government.  Im tired of seeing everyone important in our government getting there because of which money monger scoundrel they cut a deal with to get there.  No wonder the best interest of the people is not taking into account.  We don’t count.  Face it if your income is less then half a million a year no one cares about you.

My brothers and sisters its time for a change and unfortunately I don’t believe this change is going to take place at an election both.  Its going to take place in the form of an uprising and one that is maybe not all that far off.  When it happens who’s side are you going to be on?  Your rich boss who does not give a shit whether its you working or someone he can get for a dollar less then you or your fellow worker struggling to keep his head above water just like you.  I will tell you one thing folks Im not a violent person but when the time comes I will rise to the occasion and help to set things right.  A new American Revolution is coming.

Why work when you can be entertained by Danny Tanner, Michelle and the gang?

Michelle knows things are fucked up "You got it dude"!

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Im Off the Boat

Thats right kids I just got off the boat of pop culture.  Im over everything that everyone else is into.  No more mustaches, Lady Gaga, Bad club music, Polo shirts, fancy watch bands, Glasses, Tight pants, any head gear besides the standard base ball cap especially fedoras.   You should too.  But then again if you get off the boat then I would have to get back on.  This is a load of gibberish and I have no idea why I published it.  I dont give a fuck.  You know what?

Im off the mother fucking boat and I hope your stupid boat sinks in shark infested waters!!!!!!!!!!

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Normally I save all the day to day surf experiences for the surf log but I felt the last two sessions I have partook in were worth a more insightful recount.  Not the actually surfing or conditions although I must admit yesterday Emma Wood was rather fun and Cstreet did offer up a few waves this afternoon as well.  What I would like to talk about here are two instances that I found amusing.

The Abstruse Rob Machado

Last night I was super stoked at the sight of clean chest high Emma Wood, super bowly lefts and rights with only three guys out.  I tore on my wetsuit and ran down the trail so that I could take full advantage of the miniscule moments of daylight left courtesy of the time change, thank you 100 year out dated customs for making my life even more annoying.  As Im boring down the path I see a very familiar looking persona behind an open hatch back of a mini van.

I get closer and notice it is some strange looking scruffy dude with a fro fooling with a blow up mattress.  Then when I was with in fifty feet of this character I realized it was none other then once world number two, goofy foot aficionado, free surfer extraordinaire Rob Machado.  He looked right at me and I exclaimed “whats happening bud” in typical Santa Barbara surfer speak.  “Not much” he retorted and then jumped into the back of the van, closed the hatch and that was the last I saw of him.

I guess Rob Machado was going to spend the night sleeping in his van in front of Emma Wood.  I would have thought he would be in Hawaii by now for the Triple Crown.  Its not like there was a good swell in the water that he was trying to chase.  Im sure there must be more then a dozen people he could have called to crash at home in either Santa Barbara and Ventura, yet the dude was going to sleep in the van.  Shit Im still kicking myself for not inviting him to come home with me and crash in my spare room.  I guess Rob and I are destined to cross paths in the strangest of circumstance.

Those Darn Groms

Today after work I thought I would take advantage of the NW/SW combo swell in the water down at one of the Ventura beach breaks.  My buddy claimed it to be light winds and with the mid tide Emma was out of the question.  Stoked I hauled ass down the 101 and sure enough the wind was pretty light.  That was of course till I got with in earshot of Cstreet.  From there South it was howling WNW.  At that point I was not left with any other options besides Cstreet and there I found myself.

The surf was not bad solid chest high with the bigger peak or so, but the line up was mobbed with grommies.  I mean there had to be at least fifteen after school specials frothing all over the wind blow rights.  I took my time getting dressed for what was a forced paddle out.  Upon getting in the water I was equally let down by a sudden upwelling making the holey 4/3 I chose to wear a bad choice.

I sat out there for the first thirty minutes or so feeling rather un aggressive as the groms swarmed all around me poorly slicing and chopping away at the broken up lines.  All of these factors were enough to send any sane person running for the hills, but I stuck it out and actually ended up getting a handful of five and six turn rides.  I knew most of the groms out by face from both Emma Wood and New Jetty, just stoked Ventura kids.

Towards the end of the session one of such paddles up to me and says “I remember you, you used to rip New Jetty all the time, what happened?”  I did not quite now how to respond.  I still rip New Jetty somewhat regularly and was not sure to take his words as an insult or just plain stupid grom ignorance.  Before I formulated a replied he continued with “How come you don’t have any stickers on your board any more?”

Ahh it all made sense now.  I must not surf anymore cause Im no longer sponsored.  I tried to explain to the kid how Globe and Body Glove dropped me and that I was kind of over the whole thing anyway, tired of starving.  I did my best to try to annotate that I was now living life after “professional surfing” (in my case meaning I helped to pay into the profession of other surfers and industry type people) and have more fun surfing now then I ever had when I was a logoed rider. Now when I paddle out I have nothing to prove or contests to train for and other things of that matter.

I just get to go out and surf and surf however I want.  If I want to spend the entire session boosting airs I can.  If I want to fuck around in waist high close outs trying to perfect the drop in floater basically making a fool of myself kooking it its my choice.  I can surf rights, lefts, straights, wherever I want, however I want, whenever I want and because I work I have money to boot (ok that last part is a lie Im still pretty damn poor).  I did my best to construe my situation on him, but at 16 years old he just could not grasp how I could give up “living the dream”.

Then he caught a wave and about five minutes later a different grom paddled up to me and we basically went through the same saga.  I don’t understand these kids.  I suck at surfing, especially by California standards of performance.  Why would any of them believe I could still be a pro surfer?  Shit all I want to do is surf as much as humanely possible and cook food to support my living.

Speaking of Rob Machado in strange settings...

With awesome moves like this it is a wonder no one wants to sponsor me...

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Its been over two months now since the glorious inception of SurfingRuinedMyLife.net and in that time I have experienced a lot of growth in readership and overall hits.  Initially when I started this website I didnt know what to expect.  I left myspace.com as a result a steady decline in readership and overall stagnation of layout and censorship of content.  At first I enjoyed frequent visits and comments from close friends and my old loyal readers who made the move from myspace.com to here.

Then I, like Alexander the Great decided to go out and increase the bounds of my small internet territory and attempt to turn it into an empire.  This when I began using tags to draw hits from search engines and other various internet sources.  Even after such efforts new hits were few and far between, but lately I have been getting a ton of search engine traffic.  Unfortunately I dont know if my new readers are of the clientele I was looking for.  Then again its not my place to judge anyone.  Why dont you be judge here was the most popular searches that got people to my website in the last few days:

1. Diseased Virgina
2. Hymen
3. A midget with a real hairy ass
4. White Vaginas
5. Hymen Breaking Video
6. Dicks that go inside pussy
7. Fat Vaginas
8. Matt and Surfer and Rincon and Oxnard and Gay
9. Men Sucking Vaginas

Besides these gems of which I get about thirty variations of a day there is also the occasional hit for someone looking for a recipe or something surfing related.  But it is the above list that has me baffled.  This web site is not about vaginas or hymen.  I understand the midgets because that has definitely been and always will be a reoccurring theme here (if you missed that last midget blog it was pretty classic: Its a Small World After All).  The only post I had related to vaginas was Something Smells Fishy and that was more of a farce then pornographic.

What a let down it must be for someone when they type in “broken hymens” or “video of dicks going inside vaginas” and all they get is some shitty text based website with a picture of some guy who appears to be taking a shit on the home page and a picture of a cat drooling as the gravatar.  Then again if I was searching for porn I would not click on a link to a site called surfingruinedmylife.net.  Well maybe they liked what they saw and now I have a new following of perverts and degenerates.

Then again who am I kidding Im both these entities so this site is probably a consolation.  Consider it like a club for the eternally misunderstood. Who am I to deny anyone what they like.  Here is another stupid picture of me being a moron with a dumb face and another picture of my retarded cat being weird.  Thanks for reading my drivel, enjoy.

Yep I dont think I could have looked more stupidly absurd if I tried.

Neither could my cat

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