Surfing Ruined My Life

Looks like we are starting off this quarter’s UCB very similar to last with suggestions only coming in from Kooky and Mauriello. Both put up rather inappropriate topics but I guess that is not to unexpected now that this blog is free from Myspace and therefore completely unabated by any censorship what so ever.  I mean I guess things got pretty raunchy from time to time back on myspace, so who am I to cheat the public from what they want?

Mauriello suggested I write a blog about vaginas.  Now this is a topic I am by far no expert in, yet one I spend a great deal of my time in pursuit of.  This being the case I felt it warranted addressing.  The first time I saw one was back in 5^th grade in a porno mag and really had no idea what I was looking at and was more grossed out then pleased.

It actually took me years to appreciate the full extent of the vagina and how contrasting each one is from the other.  I mean dicks look all the same.  You seen one you seen them all.  Sure some are bigger, some are fatter etc, but overall its all the same hardware.  But vaginas on the other hand are these mystical entities with many layers and in my opinion no two are alike.  I should have become a gynecologist this way I could have gotten paid to stare a vaginas all day, cause I could.  Then on second thought think of all the nasty ass diseased pussies I would come across.  The occupation would probably turn me off of them all together.

Good thing Im not a gynecologist and a cook instead.  The elasticity of a vagina blows my mind.  I mean the fact that a baby comes out of that thing is nuts and I have seen some porn where many a thing that should not have fit found its way in.  Orally I must admit I am somewhat challenged down there.  No matter my efforts I have never gotten a chick off from eating her out.  I may be skilled in many areas in the bedroom but in this one I fall totally short.  Its too bad too cause I find chowing box to be rather enjoyable.

Wow! Did I really just write that?  This blog has already gone way too far, thanks John.  As far as periods go I am not a fan.  When my girl friend has hers I might as well be having it too cause it’s a pain in my ass as well.  I cant really blame women for being the way they are that time of the month.  I mean if I bleed out of my dick uncontrollably for a week I would be pissed and aggravated too.

In all seriousness I find vaginas to be very beautiful and totally worth all the effort it takes to conquer one.  There is nothing more gratifying when you have a women quivering in your arms after a job well done.  If I offended anyone from this blog, I sincerely apologize.  Mauriello gets 1.5 points for scoring the first UCB blog of the quarter.

Here is a group of Viginas strolling around town

Its a Vagina Couch! I think Im going to have to buy this.

Here is some scientific mombojumble.