Archive for January, 2012

My father used to always tell me this story when I was kid every time I would do something stupid.  You know what it still applies to me and how I live my life.  I am about to go downtown and party.  Before I do I figured maybe if I put it into writing it will hit home.  My boy Ryan always said when you write shit down it makes it more meaningful.

There was this scorpion who wanted to get across a river.  Now scorpions can not swim.  A fish was swimming near the shore.   The scorpion shouted out to the fish “hey fish would you be so kind as to let me ride on my back so I may cross this here river”.  The fish replied “I do not wish to help you for if I do you may sting me”.  The scorpion came back with “Now my aquatic friend if I were to sting you then I would die as well. Being that I cant swim if I sting you then we both will drown”.   “Well when you put it that way I believe there is no harm in myself being a service to you” said the fish.

The fish swam to the bank off the river and the scorpion crawled onto his back.  The two got about half way across the river when the fish cried out in excruciating pain.  “Scorpion you stung me!!! Why would you do such a thing?  Now we are both going to die”.  The Scorpion replied “I could not help myself”.  Both creatures met there end at that moment on the river.

There is a lot one can take from this little parable.  I think you can all see what I take out of it.  Talk amoungst yourselves. I am getting drunk!  Whooooooooooot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is actually a scorpion fish. I wonder what would have happened if the Scorpion got on the back of a Scorpion fish? Think about that for a few minutes...hmmmmmmmmmm

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We have not heard from our good friend Kooky Kyle in quite sometime now.  Most of that is my fault since I have been too lazy to post some of his other blogs.  Some I am yet to decid whether I wish to or not.  One thing is for sure I really must commend the kid.  He has managed to survive nearly four months in Lisanti Land living exclusively at the Palace and currently sits in the number two seat under me here at the Lisanti Court. 

Don’t think it has been easy.   Anyone who has spent any time here knows just how trying it can be on a persons mind, body and soul.  He has put up with near deaths due to bike break dysfunction as a result of drunken maliciousness, samurai sword mishaps, my drunken tantrums, my drunken violence, urban golf and some rather out of hand after partying.  Feel free to check out the surflog the past few months for the details on some of that.   So far he has not lost his mind and I think is actually having a good time.  Here is a brief update he wrote like a week ago or so.  As I said I am lazy thus just getting around to posting it now.  With out further ado here is Kooky’s Korner….Chris

What is new with me?  The holiday season ended my tenure at Mesa Produce as they are closed for the winter. Chris graciously hooked me up with another job. This time I am working the pizza and grill stations at Westmont College. Our hours don’t really coincide most days, which is a bit of a pain in the ass. I worked my first day yesterday and all things considered I think I can handle it. My time schedule for New Zealand has been pushed back as I had some unforeseen expenses out here. I lost then found my passport and have to wait for a new one to arrive. When that comes I will get a definitive date for New Zealand. Presently I have my room all to myself as Ryan moved out and until Chris starts the hunt for a new room mate the room is mine, complete with one super under inflated, deluxe air mattress.

We have been hosting a string of visitors as of late. My friend Brendan came up from San Diego for Christmas. I am the Grinch. The commercialism of Christmas repulses me as well as the guilt people use to make you participate in the festivities. I am not Christian and I do feel I should have to participate in the holiday. That said, the way this Christmas went was fantastic, minus the trip to the jail. It got stripped down to the basics, no work, and enjoying the company of friends. I really enjoyed it and I hope Brendan enjoyed himself.  Check out the Christmas blogs for the details on that, Part I, Part II and Part III . Currently we are providing a couch for Chris’s buddy Marc and his friend Michaela. I believe Cory is on his way out here as well. John promised to make the trek down from San FranFABULOUS for Chris’s birthday, which is only fair because we both powered the trip to visit him for his birthday.
Surfline has been hyping the latest run of swells we have had, but they have been blowing the wind forecast, calling for light offshores all day and instead we have been plagued by south winds. What would have been pretty epic conditions were consequently torn up and over crowded. Instead of surfing we powered through the majority of the renovations. Ah, so is life. All things considered the job went fairly smoothly, and things are pretty much done; the final touches just need to be put on and the place will look one hundred times better. That should bring everyone up to speed. I have a few blogs that need a little editing and should go up soon. I got a new phone and can’t pull numbers off of it so if you can leave it here in the comments, send me a text with your name, or give it to me via facebook, I would be very appreciative.
Thanks for reading,
To fill everyone in on the blanks.  Micheala came and went.  Her adventure tour will be a rather interesting blog that I have at the moment not had a chance to write.  She almost killed all of us, yours truly included.  Cory never made it out here.  Either that or he is still waiting for me to pick him up at LAX.  That is our running joke since I never heard from him and he has not since returned my calls about said trip.  My birthday is coming up and it will be a solid three to four day party.  Look for a promotional blog about that event tomorrow.  
Brendan is coming back up around the 30th for his trial for his Christmas fiasco.  I am sure we will fuck some shit up with him here.  Kooky has been at Westmont for almost two weeks now. I must say the kid is doing a rather good job and I think everyone likes him better then me at this point.  Heck no one fucks with him quite like they did to me when I first started.  I fuck with him twice as hard to make up for it.  His passport came in the mail about a week ago as well.  Things are looking up for the kid.  If he does not die here in the coming weeks he should be getting barreled in New Zealand soon.    That under deflated air mattress is now flat with a hole in it courtesy of Micheala.  Good times.

Look out for this guy folks.

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I have written all this before and am beginning to sound like a broken record.  If such is the case so be it.  You know what one of the definitions of insanity is?  Doing the same thing over and expecting different results.  At this point in my life I have stopped expecting different results.   Maybe that means I am no longer insane?  Or at the very least not in the that sense.   I think I still classify for the derangement of the mind meaning.

I am not going to lie to you people I have been blowing it hard lately.  You know that New Years proclamation I made about  drinking less and putting my efforts toward more positive actions.   As it turns out since the first I have been partying harder then ever and drinking like a fish.  I must say that at this point I am for augments sake a functioning alcoholic.  I guess it was only a matter of time.  Then again through out my entire life I have went through periods of heavy drink followed by periods of relative sobriety.  Maybe this is just an up turn on the drink side.

Last night I went out to the Wild Cat full on expecting to get shit house wasted and throw an after party at the palace despite the fact that I knew it was the first day of school Monday and that I had a 7am class.  End result of the festivities was finding myself doing vodka shots at 6am while Kooky prepared to go to work.  Needless to say I did not make it to class instead sleeping the entire day away.  The good news is I won the urban indoor golf game we played at 4am to the enjoyment of all my neighbors trying to get some sleep on a Sunday night for their Monday work days.

A few weeks ago I would have been shocked that I would do such a thing. Not this morning.  Nope, everything that went down all the way to this chick I was sort of into hooking up with another friend of mine right in front of me was not surprising at all.  I have truly become one of those Santa Barbara loser idiots I used to make fun of.  At this point I am working on becoming a complete waste of space.

I had this realization of how hard I am currently blowing it in life as I  stood there mid point this afternoon at El Capitan watching five guys enjoy small little waste high plus peelers.  I sat there holding my wet suit still a bit drunk taking it all in.  The green grass rock speckled ground under my feet, the setting sun and subsequent orange sky, the fact that I could not see anything around me but trees and rolling green hills with a llama ranch on it.  And of course the waves.  El Capitan is perfect.  I mean perfect.  Watching the waves break there is mesmerizing.  I don’t think there is a surfer alive who would shake a stick at it.

The cool wind felt amazing on my face.  I took a deep breath of the fresh air.  This is what life is really about I thought at that moment.  This is what I should be doing.  I am better then some alcohol swilling miscreant of the night in a vain attempt to drink my problems away.   Why had I let myself get to this point.  The in shape motivated 22 year old professional surfing Chris Lisanti would slap the shit out of me if he got into a time machine and saw me, himself and what I have let myself become.  I don’t know if I have found rock bottom yet, but I am for the most part at the moment  existing at the bottom of the barrel.

I tugged my wetsuit on and jumped into the water.  My head hurt a bit from both hangover and dehydration.  I stroked into my first wave, a clean waist high peeler and cracked off three solid turns.  Then I started catching a bunch of fun ones dismantling each with a solid backside attack.  Things made perfect sense out in the water. If only I felt the same way on land.  There in lies the problem perchance.  I have been spending far too much time on land and far too little in the water.

Towards the end of the evening as darkness was settling in Kooky and I post change stood there in solitude watching one last perfect little set peel down the point.  I looked at him and said “you know I am better then all this”.  He gave me an approving nod.   We turned away and walked through the dark to the car.  I don’t have answers right now, only questions.     I can’t promise anything.  What I do know is that I can do better…

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Well It has been a while since I have wrote anything here, even on the surflog.  All I can say in my defense is that things have been ridiculous out here.  Between surfing, partying, renovations, one of the gnarliest Lisanti Adventure Tour yet and my work starting back up at Westmont I have been left rather exhausted.  Look for blogs about all of this very very soon.  Trust me it will be worth the wait. Here is sneak preview into just the brand of stupid insanity you can expect to enjoy:

If you can’t wait visit the January ’12 of the Surflog for a sneak preview.

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Happy New Year

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!

I hope everyone had an amazing New Years Eve.  For me it is my favorite night of the year.  Truth be told the last few years I have not made the most of it.   This year I went all out, black pinstripe suit, black tie, white platform shoes.  It was a solid outfit.  I celebrated with friends and got good and inebriated.  With the exception of one minor mishap (it would not be Lisanti Land if such did not occur) things went down with out a hitch.  If this past Christmas was the best Christmas ever then this New Years may have been the same.  (click here for what when down on Christmas)

This year, 2012 is a very special one for me.   2011 will with out a doubt go down as the hardest year of my entire life.  Those of you who follow this blog know just how hard I was tested.  My close friends witnessed first hand the toll all the series of events that led me to this moment took on me mentally, emotionally and physically.   There was more then one time I did not think I was going to carry on.  I spent the majority of the month of June in my bed.  Despite all the adversity I Kept on Keeping On, which is good since it was my philosophy and I hate being a hypocrite.

I was tested rather hardcore and I passed.  I persevered in the face of calamity.  I promised myself that in 2012 I was going to give living another go.  Make a fresh start and work hard to better myself in all ways possible.  My father said about a month ago that I should sit down and make a plan of action on how I want things to play out over the next few years.  I looked at my schooling and have set in action a stratagem that will allow if all goes accordingly to have my chef certification by the end of the fall of 2013 at the latest.

The renovations on the Lisanti Palace are in progress and steadily approaching completion.  As of press time all of the walls have been painted.  We tore up all the carpets tonight and began laying the wood flooring in the kitchen.  Let me just say that wood flooring is a bit harder to do then I expected.  Luckily I have my two boys Sorbo and Kooky out here to help with the project.  Then we are putting a new floor on the the bathroom although I have not decided if I want to go with tile or linoleum yet.  At the moment I am leaning toward the latter just for ease of installation.  Finally, new light fixtures for both the kitchen and bathroom and new curtains.  The place is going to look awesome.

When you wake up in a nice apartment instead of the run down crack house I have existed in it just helps keep the motivation high.  Also I am in need of a roommate for February, with all the work being finished by then there should be no problem attracting a more reliable, normal, non drug using individual.  If you or anyone you know is looking for a bad ass place to live in the Santa Barbara area feel free to hit me up.  Rent is $850 a month, utilities and high speed wireless internet included.  You get to live in Lisanti Land with Alfie and I, enjoy all the fun that has to offer and wake up to the sight and sound of the ocean every morning.  How can anyone turn a deal like that down?

As far as surfing goes I am back on track there too.  In 2011 I discounted just how important my water time was to me.  I blamed it for all of my problems and deficiencies.  Now I have finally realized that the only constant there has ever been in my life is surfing.   I have been partaking in this sport, lifestyle, whatever since I was ten years old.  No matter what the stars have thrown at me surfing was always there to help me pick up the pieces.  I am back to surfing every available moment I have and feeling great about it too.  I am sorry I had ever forsaken such.

On to the Adrienne issue.  I guess it is officially eight months since she broke my heart.  You know what, I am tired of lamenting over it.  I know everyone here is tired of reading about it.  I am going to wash may hands of the entire thing once and for all.  I do miss her, but constantly dawning on our break up and reminiscing of days past is not helping at all. Fact of the matter is she cheated on me and treated me like shit.  It was not the other way around.  In 2012 I will no longer write about her here unless an incident arises where such is necessary.

I still do not believe I am 100% healed yet.  Then again maybe that is how it is for any great romance lost.  I think we leave a piece of our heart behind when we love deeply and that love becomes no more then a fragment of memory combined with imagination.  There is not anything wrong with that.  Only the most unfeeling of individuals can just move on with out having a lingering pain.  Its like an old injury after it has healed, every so often it reminds you just how badly you were hurt.

In 2012 I will open my heart once again to the possibility of finding love in another.   That is not to say that I am going to be out searching, but if the right person crosses my path I am not going sit on the side lines and watch her walk on by.  Lisanti Land needs a queen.  Things just run a bit smoother here when I have a female in my life.  I think that is the case for most men though.

What can you expect here at surfingruinedmylife.net?  Look for some new recipes, a blog on the finished Lisanti Palace with before and after pictures.  The usual madness only a bit more responsible.  I hope to post a few more short stories since The Bitter End was so well received.  The UCB is back in full swing so get those topics and Power of Ten lists in.  There is a self expense paid trip to Lisanti Land in it for you.

Finally thank you everyone for being a part of this blog.  If you did not read, comment and encourage me I would not be able turn out half of what I write.  All of your kind words and messages in my darkest hours were small glimmers of sunshine.  I toast all of you out there, my friends both new and old.  Here is to another great year.



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