Archive for February, 2012

The first Power of Ten of the quarter and the month of February goes to Kooky Kyle, whom also earned himself one bonus point for answering the question posed in the UCB winners blog.  The champ is already off to a strong start.  At this moment he is on a bus to LA to catch a plane bound for New Zealand and the next chapter of his adventures.  Don’t worry there will be plenty of Kooky’s Korner entries written by him about his escapades in the land of the sheep.  I for one am very proud of the kid.  He also carried himself quite well last night at the strip club.

Now they are not really my cup of tea, but the guy had never been to one at 23.  I am sorry but it is a straight man’s right of passage to go to the titty bar at 18 and get a lap dance.  I think he was a bit mortified by the whole thing.  I don’t blame him.  Strip clubs are some of the lowest forms of our civilization.  Nothing says I give up like that.  The strippers have given up their personal dignity and pride and so have the customers.  I would rather buy a pretty girl a nice meal for 100 bucks then have her dance on my lap naked.  Maybe that is me just romanticizing life again.  Anyway lets get back to the power of ten cause this can of worms is a whole different blog for another time.

1.  The Barf Barrel – This could be a blog in itself and it may have been written back in the early myspace days.  When I was a junior in high school  Mac Donalds had this promotion, twenty five cent cheese burger Tuesdays or something.  My boy Odie and I on the way to an after school surf decided to stop and pick up $10 bucks worth.  That is forty burgers!  We scarfed that shit down then went up to the beach.  Turns out it was firing.  Solid 6-8ft and barrels everywhere.  We ran out there and began tearing it up.  Well it did not take long for the indigestion to set in.  By my fourth wave I as not feeling so well.  I was sitting out there in agony when this perfect left bowl came right to me.  All the boys started hooting and hollering.  I was the deepest so I had to go.  I sucked it up and paddled into the wave.  Upon dropping in I was ensconced in the pit.  It was solid, so wide I could drive my Honda Civic through it.  Half way into the ride I felt my lunch coming up with a vengeance. Sure enough I spewed right into the face of the wave.   Then I proceeded to watch the vomit go up the face and around the tube.  I basically surfed through a barrel of my own throw up.  I barfed another two times on the paddle back out and then was fine for the rest of the afternoon.  Odie lost his lunch too.  It was a pretty great session.  My buddy Jason saw the whole thing from the side while he was paddling back out.  Said he almost blew chunks as a result too.

Barf Barrel

Just Imagine seeing a streak of vomit coming over me and that would have been what the Barf Barrel looked like.

2. Surf Lingo – On the whole I find surf lingo rather ridiculous and somewhat demeaning to surfers, especially when used by non surfers who have no idea what they are  talking about.  There are some instances where surf lingo or surf speak as I like to refer to it is necessary.  That is for certain feelings, emotions and circumstances that can only happen while surfing and be experienced by a surfer.  It is for those reasons certain surf speak was created.  There were no other words in the human language to describe such.  Barrel, tube, pit, larrel, lip, mush burger, green room, slotted, etc. are all terms to describe different parts of the wave/ride.  They have meaning in the English language but none of those definitions fit their meaning in surfing.  Kook, ripper, shredder, sweeper, sponger, wahine, loc, heavy, punk etc.  are all terms that describe different types of  surfers and abilities. What I am saying is I am fine with surf lingo when used among surfers, but outside of our sub culture I find it brass and idiotic.  When the non-surfing use it I just feel insulted and outraged.  If I have to explain it you won’t understand anyway.

3. Worst Surf Trip  – Santa Barbara is the worst surf trip that I have ever took cause I have been stuck on it for the last five years.  Just kidding.  Truthfully I really can’t think of a bad surf trip.  Even the ones where the waves were awful I still managed to surf my brains out and have a great time.  A few years back I probably would have had a whole list for you.  These days as I look back over all my travels I am grateful for every single one.  Traveling is one of the most amazing things a person can do.  It is an amazing world out there with endless possibilities.  If surfing is the outlet one must use to get out there and see what there is to see then good on ya.  I know if I was not a surfer I most likely would not have went to half the places I have been.  These days most of the trips I take are non surfing trips and so are many of the ones I hope to some day take on.  I really want to go to Italy for a few months, back to my native country and see all the sights, eat the food, maybe even cook the food.  I want to see Stonehenge.  Bottom line there is no such thing as a bad trip except for the ones not taken.

4.  Vagrancy – I guess at one time I was classified as a vagrant and have definitely put up my share of them here in Lisanti Land.  I believe everyone ought to have a period of his/her life spent as a vagabond living by the seat of their pants, traveling from place to place on a wing and prayer with no destination in mind.  I did it for years and it was amazing.  At some point life catches up to you and then you to make a decision.  Believe me I have plenty of friends who were all former vagrants now living very stable lives.  Heck I am one of them.  Shit I just put 2gs into my apartment.  If that is not stable I don’t know what is.  Career vagrants and I do not get along.  I hate bums.  Quite frankly there are way to many of them here in the city of Santa Barbara.  I have a good mind to go sit down with the mayor ask her to deputize me, give me a van, a clan of Pinkertons and let me clean up the town.  No questions asked.  That is a whole different blog entirely.

These guys need to go. I pay too much money to live in this town to put up with their shit.

5. Garbage Can Books – I find more great books in the garbage then I buy.  Its rather alarming to me as a writer myself.  Here I am working on a master piece of a novel that I know is most likely to be thrown in the trash.  Its probably a terrible work, but my delusional ass likes to think it is good.  The other day I picked The Portrait of Dorian Grey, The Canterbury Tales, Tess of the d’urbervilles among other great titles from a trash pail.  It was shocking.   Books are all we have as a civilization.  You know what made us “civilized” and I use that term lightly considering my thoughts and beliefs on the human race, reading and writing.  If you finished a book and do not want it any more pass it along to someone else.  That is the best way to share a piece of yourself with others.  I always give my extended guests a book upon their entrance to the Lisanti Palace.  I try to tailor the selection to a work I feel will fit their character and current situation in life.  Sometimes I will use a work to teach a lesson of sorts.  For example when I was pretty sure my ex-girlfriend was cheating on me I gave her a copy of Gustav Flaubert’s Madam Bovary read.  If you do not understand why, read the book cause it is a beautiful tragic love story.

6. Alfie and the Dish Cloth – I am a bit of push over with my pets.  I hate being a disciplinarian especially with my pets.  Neither was my ex-wife.  As a result Alfie grew up with not the best manners.  More times then not during dinner hour he would have to be thrown off the table repeatedly.  Then when my drug addict roommate Nick was passing out all over the apartment (who by the way I am happy to say is in England going through rehab and hopefully cleaning up his life.  Nick I am proud of you man.  Stay on the course.  Your too good for that shit.) Alfie had free reign over all the food that was constantly getting left out or spilled.  Now before we go any further let me say I am not a fan of animal abuse and that I love my cat.  Please do not go calling the ASPCA on me.  One day after feeling a bit sad and then angry over the Adrienne situation I was eating dinner ALONE!  Alfie jumped up on the table and tried to grab my food.  I lost it snagged the dish cloth and rat tailed him.  I got him pretty good too.  So every time Alfie gets out of line all I have to do is pick up the dish cloth and begin to roll it and he bolts.  My dinner parties all run a ton smoother now.

7. Girls Destroying Clothing – I have had a startling amount of clothing ruined by women.  I cannot even tell you the number of button down shirts that I had all or most of the buttons ripped off in the heat of passion.  One in particular wrecked five of my best shirts.  I have had pants ruined because the zipper got torn off.  Fuck I know if tore off an expensive designer dress on some chick she would be pissed as hell about it.   I remove clothing in a sexy yet respectable manner.  I am not even going to get into the number of outfits I had ruined on me as a result of vomiting.  Ladies c’mon.  I know I am irresistible, but does my wardrobe have to suffer for it?

8. Best …Lost Moment – The company …lost has for the greater span of their life as a surf brand been known as anti surfers surf company.  In other words they full on touted the party hard, surf less, miss contests, cause trouble, derelict surf life style rather then the clean cut, mellow, guitar playing, life loving drug/alcohol free positive surfer portrayed by the majority of the industry.  As a result they built up a team of quite the group of characters and a following even worse.  Then they put out these series of films in the early 2000’s documenting and glorifying said lifestyle.  It was very entertaining and there were plenty of out of control moments.  Girls falling down flights of stairs, drunken stair surfing, Randal who was this bum they found living under the pier in Oceanside and paid in booze to allow the team to abuse.  He got his hair lit on fire on many occasion.  There were drunken fights, under age riders chugging pitchers of beers for $20, going over the falls at huge shore break Mexico in an inner tube, having a surfing dog burn some of the best pros at Lowers.  It was insane.  The best moment and I think the entire surf world is with me on is this one is this clip when pro surfer Strider pulled the g-string of some 15 year old girl on the beach in Mexico, called her a slut then jumped back in his jeep and drove away from “Whats really goin wrong”.

I could not find the clip, but this trailer gives a decent idea of what …lost was all about.  The side of surfing everyone knows exists, but don’t want to talk about.

9.  Covering Your Tracks –  This can go for anything in life, but in surfing it is about hiding either where your surfing or surfed to keep the crowds down.  For example in Cape Hatteras, NC the sand bars are constantly shifting.  A good bar can be around for a day or a week or so.  When such occurs initially it is uncrowded.  Then some one goes and tells his friend, who tells his friend, who tells his friend and so on and so forth.  Next thing you know the place is mobbed the next day.  To keep this from happening many of us like to park not right on the spot, drive cars that are not obvious surf cars, I have seen people go as far as hiding their cars behind dunes and then literally covering up the tire tracks.  I once told a buddy of mine I was surfing shitty blown out Ventura, all the while looking at perfect Loons with no one out.  I knew that guy had a big mouth and I was not about to tell him where I was so he could show up with ten bros.

1o. Animal Print – I am a sucker for animal print.  It drives me wild.  When I see a chick wearing any kind of animal print outfit I am immediately turned on.  It brings out our most primal of instincts.  For that reason my bedding has always contained some form of animal print.  Currently I am running with zebra print satin sheets.  Ohhhhh yeahhh, high class.  As I am writing this I have a leopard comforter around me from a former bed set.  Maybe that is why I have all my cloths torn off by women?

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Well folks its all over.  I mean it ended on December 21st technically.  Thanks to my laziness, some amazing surf sessions (Visit the surf log to read about those), too much party (you can read the surf log for this too), pure exhaustion due to my job,  and renovations to the Lisanti Palace I am only finally getting around to posting the Fall UCB winner and the winner for the year/subsequent winner of the grand prize: A SELF EXPENSE PAID TRIP TO LISANTI LAND: THE SANTA BARBARA CHAPER!!!! What do I have to say for myself?  Absolutely nothing.  My life has been busy, hectic and as usual out of control thanks to the fact that I am insane, maybe in a good way?  I do not know.  You can be the judge of that.  I am always a bit to harsh a critic on myself after all.

2011 was actually the most exciting year for the UCB franchise that I can remember.  Going into the fall quarter I had a three way tie between our current reigning champ and two time yearly winner Kooky Kyle, UCB heavy and I believe a champ once back in the myspace days, John Mauriello and a man who should never be discounted, a man who is living proof that the size of the dog does not equal the size of the fight, Nick the Kook.  Now all three of these guys have lived the grand prize and all currently have life time passports to Lisanti Land.  Of course that is not their life time, but mine cause when Chris Lisanti ceases to exist so goes Lisanti Land and with the way I choose to live my life that could be sooner rather then later.

I guess if I had a kid and he/she was a nut job like myself Lisanti Land could live on.   Lets face it look at Alfie.  That is the product of being brought up in Lisanti Land for eight years and he is a cat.  Imagine the mental effects I would have on a very impressionable human child.  The kid’s sanity would not stand a chance.  Mino is living proof of this theory.  Then again if I had a daughter and she got married and took the defuses’ last night then Lisanti Land would be lost forever.  So for the survival of Lisanti Land all must hope for a male heir.  Face it I am destined to be perpetually alone for the rest of my life, am probably sterile from years of wearing tighty whities, only recently converting to full on commando, heavy alcohol abuse and surfing in freezing cold water.

There could be illegitimate children of mine floating around out there, but even if their mothers remembered who I was which is a stretch considering they would had to have known my name in the first place, they would most likely lie to their kids and tell them their father died in a horrific pie eating contest accident rather then tell them the truth.  At this point it seems the Lisanti empire dies with me considering I am the last male of my line :(.  Wow talk about rambling on.

Without any more of my crap the winner for both the fall quarter and 2011 is:

Kooky Kyle!!!!!

1st: Kooky Kyle – 5 points
2nd:  John Mauriello – 4.5pts
3rd: Fifi – 2pts
4th: Nick the Kook – 1pt

Congratulations to Kooky Kyle and everyone else who participated.  Remember if you don’t play you can’t win.  Let me take a minute to explain that the UCB is a two way street for all of us.  For me I get a steady flow of new topics to sound off on and extra motivation to write.  Some of my best work has been as a result of UCB suggestions.  For you, there are more blogs and usually of higher content, its always fun to have bragging rights, albeit I am not sure the weight of such, and there is the grand prize up for grabs, although lets face it all one really has to do is ask and he/she can come hang out in Lisanti Land.  I guess there really is not much incentive to play.

Do it for me then, cause I really get a kick out of the whole thing.  I have a lot of new readers and subscribers.  If you enjoy reading my stuff then why not take an active roll in what you read?  It will bring a smile to my face and lots of outside ideas to the blog.

Here is what is going to happen with the winter quarter.  I am extending it to April 1st rather then ending on the spring equinox as I have done in the past to make up for missing the entire months of February and January.  There will be one UCB in February and a Power of Ten list.   In March I will feature two UCBs a week and two Power of ten Lists.  Remember the Power of Tens are worth two points, regular UCBs worth one, and the first blog of the quarter worth 1.5.   Lets get this party started and try and keep Kooky from taking a fourth title.  So far he is in the same class as Andy Irons and Tom Curren.  Here is a chance for an easy bonus point.  The title of this blog was used as part of phrase from what television show? For full rules and regulations of the UCB click  here.

Three time UCB Champion Kooky Kyle. He is ready to take you on this year!


Tom Curren

Ok, maybe Kooky is not quite in the same class as Curren.


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December 2011 Surf Sessions in Review

With each session review I get closer to compiling enough data to bring a 2011 year of surfing in review to this site.  It will be the first of its kind and I must say I am rather excited to see the results of 12 months of useless surfing data.  I know I am crazy.  OCD is a terrible disease.  I guess one could say I am the Rain Man of surfing except I do not have the ability to count cards.

December started out slow surf wise then the north west swells just began to pour in and as of the moment really have not stopped. Believe me there are no complaints here.  My only gripe is with myself and the fact that I blew a number of potential surf sessions thanks to either pure laziness, partying too hard or due to injuries incurred from partying, all of which amounted to December becoming the most underutilized month of the year for me.  That being said there were still plenty of good times all around.

In life I managed to begin the renovations on my apartment, which at press time are just about finished.  Mentally and emotionally I worked through a ton of issues I have been harboring as well.  Maybe not surfing my brains out amounted to some positive in the end.  Only time will tell.  Here are the stats for December:

Number of Surf Sessions: 23
Days Surfed: 18
Total Time Spent in the Water: 35hrs, 25 mins
Waves Surfed: 442
Average Waves Caught in an Hour: 13

Spots Surfed:
Rincon: 8
Emma Wood: 3
Hollywood By The Sea: 3
Little Rincon: 2
New Jetty: 2
Oxnard Shores: 2
C Street: 1
Kooks Peak: 1

Top Three Surf Sessions:

3) 12/20/11 PM Session: 2-3+ft, C Street
Time in Water: 1hr
Waves Surfed: 1o
Mother fucking Cstreet, are you kidding me.  Is that really where I have had the best session in the last five?  Apparently.  Kooky and I car surfed down to Emma finding nothing.  The choice came down to running back to Rincon or going to Cstreet.  I had a feeling it could be fun at the latter so it was on.  Not even looking at it we suited up.  Out of time it was a make it or break it kind of session, sometimes the best ones.  There were two distinct peaks up at pipe.  Straight out of the gates I was nailing good waves.  I caught ten waves and eight of those had no less then six turns.  My last three were sick and some of the better backside turns I have done on my new board.  My last wave was so good I quit on it even though I still had easily another 15 minutes of light left.  Unfortunately Kooky not really knowing where to sit had a frustrating session.  C Street can givith and take it away just as fast.

2) 12/4/11 AM Session: 2-4ft, Oxnard Shores
Time in Water: 1hr
Waves Surfed: 17
Finally a surf and a good one at that.  I got down to Ventura Harbor and it was all closed out.  I was left with a choice of either going to a steadily draining tide Emma Wood or a gamble at the shores.  If I choose the shores and lost then I would have once again blew my gas on yet another wasted car surf.  My prayers were answered as I came up the beach to head high offshore spitting barrels in every direction I looked.  Kooky and I were on it.  What ensued was a full on barrel fest.  I had some drainers.  I saw Kooky get blasted out of a few good ones  too.  My last wave was one of the better left hand barrels I have caught in a long time. It may have been three days in the making but the first session of the month was on.

1) 12/25/11 AM Session: 3-4+ft, Rincon
Time in Water: 3hrs
Waves Surfed: 24
See a Christmas of Epic Proportions Part I and Part II for more details.

 Well there you have it another month of surfing in Lisanti Land folks.  As always you can keep a daily tab on my surfing sessions or just the gnarl that happens in my life that keeps me from surfing at the surflog.

Rincon on Christmas morning, the best session of the month with out a doubt.

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Kooky’s time here is waning, closing in on just about two weeks.  I must say the kid has certainly grown on me these past few months.  I believe he has seen more sides of Chris Lisanti than anyone besides maybe my mother.  Kyle has experienced, angry Chris, party Chris, drunkard Chris, depression Chris, suicidal Chris, hard working Chris even relationship Chris.  Despite dealing with all my moods and insanity he has stayed true and loyal.  In this day in age it is a trait hard to find in another human.  I respect this trait for I myself am one of the most loyal subjects to be found.  Those that head me will get the same treatment in return.

I feel a bit like a proud mentor at this moment.  I have watched over the past four months a kid who I thought might get eaten up by the world learn how to survive outside of the realm of a book.  Knowledge gets you far, yet knowledge plus experience earn one wisdom.   Two months ago I had real fears for the kid over in New Zealand and in life in general.  He survived an extended stay in Lisanti Land at one of the heaviest eras in it’s history.   As I watch him command himself both at life and work these days I am honored to call him one of my brothers.  Kooky Kyle is going to make it in this life folks and its not going to be as drone as I once was afraid of.  I feel assurance that on the road of life he shall take the path less trodden upon.

What a month it has been since you last heard from me. I am still alive believe it or not. I surfed epic El Capitan and some really good Rincon with manageable crowds. I can finally surf a point as it should be surfed, linking turns and sections together. I am no master, but a wave is not totally wasted on me. After nearly four months here I finally got a real mattress and my room is my own, though Alfie still likes to use it as his litter box. Marc recently left, and left his sickness he picked up down in Orange County around the apartment. I am trying to dodge it as best I can. We now have a new couch mate, Dave. He came here as a guest of Chris, but now, I consider the kid a friend of mine too. I guess that is how these things work, shared roof, shared food, shared bar tabs, and shared friends. Gainfully employed, and secure in my living situation, I am now gearing up to leave Santa Barbara.

Why, you ask? First if I do not leave soon, when? Sure next month is a likely bet for some of the more elusive spots to turn on. After that the likelihood of scoring the points rapidly diminishes and what am I doing here? I have booked my ticket to New Zealand and will be there for forty days. I am really excited and a little nervous. Never in my life have I set off to be, as far from everyone I have known, as I am about to be. How can one grow though when they live in the shade of comfort? Even here in Lisanti Land I had a safety net of Chris and the Palace. Even though Chris and I joke about killing each other, I know he has my back as he has illustrated time and time again. Now do not get me wrong, I have grown here  My surfing has definitely improved as I have constantly pushed myself in the water.  I have also learned there is more to life than surfing. Surfing can be the avenue to what else there is in life or it can block you off to it. I hope that I can find the prior to be true, as I have lived most of my life so far under the later.  I will undoubtedly make memories and grow on this adventure. No concrete plans, no travel partners, it is just me.
After New Zealand I have a few things cooking. Some opportunities have come up that I want to take but would have to give up on others. It does look as though I will be returning to New Jersey and rounding out my last summer as a lifeguard.  It saddens me to think that my childhood is ending. I have spent every summer of my life with my extended family at our beach house. I spent more time there than many of my cousins, especially in these recent years. I made many of my best friends there, some of whom are more than friends now.  They are family. Alas, all things must pass. I stand on the verge of my adulthood and see the experiences that lay ahead and I embrace it.
If you are in New Zealand let me know I wouldn’t mind grabbing a beer or some waves with anyone.

Brothers from another mother.

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You can fill in whatever four letter word that works for you in the title, kind of like those word books when I was kid, Mad Lips.  I do not believe I need to tell any of you out there the words I wish to fill in.  I have always hated this stupid ridiculous made up holiday.  I mean seriously was it created to make people feel bad or add to alcohol, drug and domestic abuse?

If you have a Valentine then it is a headache trying to make the day special for her.  The main reason is not because of a lack of love, but because every other idiot with a girl friend out there is trying to do the same thing.  End result, everything is crowded, over priced, over zealous.  You get frustrated cause you are blowing it.  She gets frustrated then upset, because you blew it.  She cries, then locks herself in the bathroom while you rub one out and go to sleep.  If your relationship lasts you get to hear about how you blew it for as long the two of you are together.

If your single things can play out in a few different scenarios, all start the same way: depression followed by drinking.   Now if your desperate and cant handle the idea of being alone you go out and call every female you know in hope that you can set up some type situation that will be even remotely close to a date.  Sticking dollar bills down your favorite stripper’s g-string does not count, neither do lap dances.  The date is awkward since you called her out of desperation and she most likely said yes  for the same reason.  After you both go your separate ways, she goes home locks herself in the bathroom and cries.  You go home, rub one out and go to sleep.

Next option: both male and female parties decide to go out in search of a “valentine for the night”.   For many years I have enjoyed time with plenty of women on Valentine’s Day who were looking to have a man for the night to reduce their loneliness.  End result here, next morning she goes home (hopefully, cause when it happens in your bathroom it is quite the nuisance) locks herself in the bathroom and cries.  Like most one night stand bar hook ups you feel even more alone.  In my case I have to wash the sheets on my bed, open my windows  and most likely sleep on the couch cause I can not handle the repugnant smell of casual sex.   If you do not meet a chick then you go home rub one out and go to sleep alone and miserable.

Finally I tried a different route this year.  Initially my plan was to go with the above option.  Then after giving it some  thought decided I would rather just sit home and empty a nice bottle Beaujolais I have been sitting on for such the occasion into my liver.  If you are going to depression drink at least do it with some class.  I have been fighting off this cold for the past week and decided getting absolutely shit house was a bad idea ( what? me really?).  I hung out with my roommates watched a few  episodes of Seinfeld from my box set (Kooky and I are trying to get through the whole thing before he leaves) and now I am writing this.

Maybe it is a step in the right direction.  All I can say is that a fucking broken heart sucks.   I have taken a lot injuries in  my life, but this hurts more then anything and it is completely fictitious.  I am not whining, well not that much anyway just stating a fact.  I find myself more times then not hating the fact that I am alone, but hating the idea of being with anyone.  How is that for an oxymoron?  The worst part is there are a couple of cool women floating around my life at the moment yet I just cant do it.  For now I prefer the company of total strangers.  When they leave in the morning I barely remember their names, in some cases am still too drunk to really even see what they look like and know that most likely I will never see any of them again.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.  All I am going to say is that if you have a Valentine take care of her and ladies appreciate the effort your man has made for you.  A relationship is about more then one stupid day out of the year.  It is about how the interaction is day in and day out.  In my opinion flowers for no reason is far more commendable then flowers on a day where it is EXPECTED!!!  Now if you don’t mind I am going to rub one out and go to sleep.

I was walking on Lead Better the other day and saw this sand sculpture. Its rather classic. I guess that dude was really over women.

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I think this was an obvious choice for a Groovin’ High entry.   First off if you live under a bigger rock then I do let me inform you that Whitney Houston died at age 48 this past weekend as a result of drug and alcohol abuse.  I must say I was rather saddened by the news.  It is a real tragedy to lose someone with so much talent.  Some asshole tried to tell me that Whitney was never all that good.  The woman had a four octave range and could belt it out with the best of them.  She was a pure Diva.

If you cannot appreciate her ability as a singer then you must be deaf.  As far as her untimely death goes it is a real shame.  I hate to see good people succumb to their problems and then use substance as their escape.  I guess at the moment I am not doing all that much better with such, but I hope to one day be free of the nightmare I live.

When I was studying at Berklee I played a recital with this ensemble put together by a very talented female vocalist.  She was a Whitney fanatic and I believe she did three Whitney songs at the gig.  “Saving All My Love For You” was one of them and it has always been my favorite of her tunes.  It is a terrible song about cheating, but the emotion she sings it with really makes you feel the  true meaning of the song.  I think most of us have been in a position where we were feeling pretty bad cause we loved some one who was not worth it and just taking advantage.  Love is blind after all.  Yet seeing is believing.

We put on a pretty decent rendition of the tune.  I had a cool little intro to it on my sax and a solo mid song.  I later performed an arrangement of the tune on my alto sax while doing some solo work.  Whitney was an amazing vocalist, actress and person who unfortunately decided to take the easy way out instead of dealing with her problems.  She will be missed by all.  I wish her family and friends left behind the biggest of sympathy.  Listen to this live rendition of Whitney Houston performing “Saving All My Love For You” at the 1986 Grammy awards.  Enjoy and remember what she was and not how she left us.

Ah Whitney you will be missed.

I threw this one in just for fun.  They played it at the club Saturday night and everyone just got down in her memory.

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November 2011 Surf Sessions in Review

I know I am like two months behind, but what would any one who reads here regularly expect.  If you keep up with the daily updates in the surflog then it should not surprise you.   My life is crazy and my time spread thin.  I guess I will sleep when I am dead.  I am only getting this done today because I happen to be sick and called out of work.  I am too sick to surf even.  Trust me it is firing right now with some real nice WNW action.  You know I’m taking it hard if I am sitting out.  I have already missed an epic El Capitan session last night.  Whatever, I don’t give a fuck.

Back to November.  November for the most part was one big let down after another both for waves and life.  Kooky who came out here with high hopes of scoring great point surf got stuck more times then not at shitty New Jetty, which was where the majority of my surfing took place.  Now in the summertime that is common place, but in the fall it should not be.  There was still some choice days.  There were also some terrible drunken nights at the bar that cost me a surf or two and one surfboard that got completely destroyed as a result.   You can check out the November ’11 surflog for the details on the entire month.  Here are the session break downs.  Oh the joys of having OCD.

Number of Surf Sessions: 23
Days Surfed: 22
Total Time Spent in the Water: 35hrs
Waves Surfed: 521
Average Waves Surfed Per Hour: 15

Spots Surfed:
New Jetty: 9
Rincon: 3
Emma Wood: 2
Oxnard Shores: 2
Dredge: 1
Sharks Cove: 1
Sand Spit: 1
Little Rincon: 1
Silver Strand: 1
Gold Coast: 1

Top 4 Surf Sessions (I could not leave any of these out to only make it three)
11/25/11 PM Session2: 1-3+ft, Sharks Cove
Time in Water: 2.5hrs
Waves Surfed: 32
We were on our way to battle the immense crowds down south, when Kooky spotted out some waves breaking at Sharks.  I knew it would be a bit smaller there, but no one was out and I love that wave.  The place is so rip-able and its right here in town.  We decided to go for it.  Four other guys joined us crushing my hopes of a solo session, but I knew one of them and everyone took turns and was mellow.  It was a bit smaller then I would have liked.  Only about waist to occasional chest, but it was perfect.  I had a ton of really fun waves out there and it was just the mellow session in the midst of a hectic weekend I was looking for.

3) 11/21/11 AM Session: 3-5+ft, Rincon
Time in Water: 3hrs
Waves Surfed: 23
I love bounce back swells.  This one hit the Islands and came upon us at a perfect angle.  There was a dropping tide and light winds.  Rincon was flawless.  When I first got out there I was in the cove with about 30 people.  An hour later I was sharing the place with a solid 200 crowd spread over the entire point.  I had some great ones.  I got burned on some that would have been great ones and I burned a few along the way.  Classic Rincon.  I did stick one huge six foot long gap air that I totally cleared an entire section on.  I had a near 540 as well but landed on the back too far on the shoulder to ride it out.  Minus the crowd I was stoked.

2) 11/24/11 PM Session: 4-7+ft, Little Rincon
Time in Water: 2hrs
Waves Surfed: 27
Oh another Turkey day west swell.  I wanted to surf Rincon but it was over 300 hundred heads strong.  I tried a gamble and lost with El Capitan.  Little Rincon had a decent enough wave with only about thirty or so guys on it.  It was a bit stretched and racy, but there were some good ones.  I was having a good time till I went on this dude who was clearly not going to make the section he pulled into.  Kooky said he was falling as I dropped into it.  The guy paddles over to me and tells me “If you do that again I am  going to break something on you”.  ”Were you really going to make it” I replied.  ”Thats not your call to make” he said.  ”No it was the waves call and it was not having it” I retorted.  He got mad and told me that when he is on a wave I don’t go.  I apologized and left it alone.  Then he deliberately burned me on my next wave to prove a point.  The old Chris would have gone into the beach.  Went to my car, got the tire iron out of my trunk and beat the bejesus out of him.  The new Chris  just took a deep breath and let it go.   Whatever I got a wave from the hotel at Mussel Shoals all the way to the beach break at the bottom of the highway.  We clocked it in the car on the way home and  it was just under 7/8ths of a mile.  Never done something like that there.  My legs hurt so bad by the end of it I could barely turn.

1) 11/7/11 AM Session: 2-4+ft, Oxnard Shores
Time in Water: 2hrs
Waves Surfed: 28
Oooo there is nothing I love more then a good old fashioned barrel fest. Not only that but a Hatteras style barrel fest.  Lindsay and I pulled up to New Jetty and it was crowded, at least thirty guys deep.  Lakey Perterson was out with her little grom crew and camera.  The whole place was a scene.  On top of that it was a bit walled and wonky.  Not nearly as good as the previous day.  I noticed the wind was trying to go offshore and with plenty of combo swell still in the water, plus a dropping low tide I made the call to try the shores.   The place loves such conditions.  I pulled up to the closest spot to Ventura.  There was some movie being filmed up on the beach with all their stupid Hollywood hoopla.  Right in front looked marginal at best.  Then I looked down the beach and was pretty sure I saw spitting barrels.  Upon driving a few blocks south my eyes had not deceived me.  All I could see in every direction was left and right bowls unloading on a shallow sand bar.  I am talking throaty double ups.  I got my ass seriously kicked by a few I did not make it out of.  The crowd was about twenty strong but spread among an endless amount of peaks. Bobby was surfing the peak next to me just getting absolutely pitted off his skull.  I had my share as well.  It was a fucking great session.  It lasted a solid two hours before the wind came up.  What a session.

Oxnard Shores delivering.

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Tomorrow I will be turning 31, yes that’s right 31!!  I know I turned 25 for something like five years in a row so it may may come as a bit of a shock to some.  I can’t believe I have lived this long and especially surviving this past year.  If all the bullshit that happened at 30 did not kill me then 31 should be a breeze.  Last year I must say I had one of best birthdays of my life.  I got Chinese food for dinner then enjoyed the night with my girl who got me the Seinfeld box set, one of the best gifts I had ever received.   Of course a few weeks later she decided to become a slut and start cheating on me so I guess the whole thing was rather bitter sweet.  Best gift followed by the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life.

That is why I am always afraid when things go well for me.  Something is always bound to fuck it up.  This year I really want to celebrated in style.  Ok, you got me.  I am just going to go out to the Wild Cat and get shit faced as always.  The difference is I have some friends hopefully coming out for the occasion.  While I am at it I would like to invite each and everyone of you my readers.  If you are in the Santa Barbara area tomorrow night, 2/4/2012 I implore you to cruise to the Wild Cat Lounge and join me for a drink.  I promise you will have a good time.  If you can’t make it don’t worry Im sure I will write some ridiculous blog about the night.

Well I am about to hit the Kitty up to celebrate the 12am turn solo since Kooky is passed out form last night’s festivities there.  I am going to wake his ass up though to drive me downtown.  I was born at approximately 12:01am on February 4th 1981.  I was tiny, yellow with jaundice and almost two months premature.  Doctors said my chances of making it were slim.  I was a fighter from all the way back then and showed them all.  Here I am 31 years later still keeping on keeping on.  Cheers!

Lets get this party started!!!!

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Who likes to party? We like to fucken party!

I have known this girl Micheala from my home town back in New Jersey since my buddy Bojangles dated her when she was 14.  Years have passed like their relationship.  Thanks to the wonderful internet perpetual waste of time FaceBook.com her and I began communicating pretty much right around the time Adrienne and I were falling apart.  It was nice to have someone to talk to especially someone who was an outsider to the situation.  When I was home in NJ over the summer playing some shows with a Santa Barbara based theater group, Proximity she took me around the NJ night life scene and even managed to get me to go out for a grovel  surf or two.  See A Trip Back East blog for more on that trip.

I was rather appreciative since Nick the Kook my usual partner in crime when I am back East was in Chile causing trouble.  You can read about his adventures on his blog Staywet.net.  The lazy fuck has not written anything in a while.  I need his incoherent stupidity to help myself feel better about the garbage I write.  As a token of my gratitude I offered Micheala a pass to Lisanti Land anytime she wished.  She had been claiming she was cruising for a while during her winter break.  I was skeptical.  People always tell me they are coming, but end up never making it, Keifer, Cory.  Cory may still be waiting for me to pick him up at LAX.  At this point he is like Tom Hanks in the movie Terminal.

To my surprise she ended up making it out here in early January and spent a solid seven days.  Now whenever I have a Lisanti Adventure Tour I always ask the recipient what he/she want to get out of the trip.  Santa Barbara is my town and if it is going down here and you want to be a part of it then more times then not I can make it happen.  My connections here get stronger every day and my own person wanderlust spirit has helped me to become a connoisseur on the town.  Whether it be surfing, skate boarding, wine tasting, hang gliding, sailing, island tours, whale watching, hiking, party, sky diving, breweries, events etc, I can make it happen.

Micheala was looking to surf and party as much as possible. These two options happen to be some of my stronger points as if this blog has not proved already over the years.  First night I had her at the Wild Cat sucking down rum and cokes with the boys.  I think I may have thrown in a round of Adios Mother Fuckers just for good measure.  It was a Sunday and those never disappoint at the Kitty.   A good time was enjoyed with out a doubt by all.

Next morning I had the day off.  The options were to either go down south and surf the beachies there or run up north to Jalama where conditions looked rather favorable.  I left the decision to her being she was a guest.  “I want to go get the biggest waves you can find” was her reply.  Remember folks in Lisanti Land one must always watch what they wish for.  We rolled up north and it was solid.  I was really only expecting chest to head high fun surf.  Turns out the beach break was easily 6-8ft and Tarantellas was breaking.

Like a bone head I forgot my wet suit back in Santa Barbara.  It was agreed that whomever got out first would allow me to use his suit between Sorbo or Kooky so I could get a few.  The gang paddled out at Tarantellas and were all rather shocked with the extreme gnarl factor and power of the wave.  Kooky fell in love with it.  Micheala and Sorbo found it a bit more then they were looking for.  Thanks to Kooky I managed to get a few fun ones too.  It was a splendid day on the beach.  Nice weather, good conditions and a very light crowd.  I think everyone had a great time.

That night Micheala wanted to keep the party going and then set the precedent that we were going to rage ever night till she left on Friday.  I do not think I need to tell any of my readers here about my party capabilities, but Micheala’s program nearly had me throw in the towel.  It was seven very exhausting nights of pure ridiculousness.  From druken fights, to samurai swords through living furniture, to urban golfing, calling a lady about her missing cat at 2am, throwing fruit and lord knows what else at one another on a drunken walk home, bizarre dancing on the cat walk and dance floor, vomiting behind dumpsters, after parties with Mexican gangsters.   You name it we did it that week.  Then after she left instead of taking the night off Kooky and I went out to the Kitty and I threw an after party that went just about all night with nearly thirty heads in attendance.  Good times.

Micheala also got a scrumptious home cooked meal from the Lisanti Kitchen.  By request Kooky and I served up grilled chicken pasta primavera in one of the best alfredo sauces I have put together yet.   Unfortunately thanks to starting up work at Westmont one meal was all I was able to prepare.  I had limited time to give to her tour as well.   She was an adventurous one and had no problem taking her skate board and meandering her way all over town.

She got a really fun day at Rincon where I believe she got one of the better waves of her life.  Learned first hand just how bad of a wave Leadbetter really is and got to sample my New Jersey wave away from home, New Jetty.  On her last night Sorbo and I decided to build a barricade of chairs to the ceiling in front of her bedroom door and then backed it up with the living room couch just to show our endearment towards her.  By far I think it was with out a doubt one of the heavier Lisanti Adventure Tours to date.  That’s the challenge out there for anyone willing to risk their skin in Lisanti Land, get more ridiculous then Micheala.

Here is a little slide show of some of the ridiculousness.

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The Lost Cat Video:


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