Surfing Ruined My Life

This weeks UCB is won by John Mauriello with the topic “Why food, what made you want to be a chef”.  I got to be honest people I was a little disappointed in this week’s UCB turn out.  Im going to write it off as everyone was busy with the holiday, but lets throw down some gold this week.  There are only four more UCB’s Left for the quarter and the 2010 UCB year.  Im going to make next week’s UCB worth double points to stir up some enthusiasm.

I have been cooking since my grandmother and mother taught the family Italian recipes when I was 12.  Even then at that young age I loved doing it.  On the holidays I got to help out with the preparations for all the meals.  When I turned 14 I got a job working at a pizzeria on the Point Pleasant, NJ boardwalk called “Joey Tomatoes Pizza”.  At first I was hired as a buser/counter person but soon after proved my temperament not cut out to properly serve the public.

Following my third strike bucking a rude customer I was steadily ushered into the “dungeon” or the basement of the restaurant where the prep work for the food was done.  I was trained in the makings of various toppings, dough, and sauces and for the next three years of my life from May to October that was my reality six days a week eight hours a day, pizza prep.  I loved it.

I got listen to my music while I worked and had a real sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.  When I was 17 till I was 19 my boss was so impressed with my work he made me in charge of the preps for all the pizza sold on the boardwalk which at the time encompassed four different eateries.  I even had my own staff, Oleg and Gleb these two crazy Russian guys whom my friend Troll almost died of alcohol poisoning one night trying out drink.  And Sergio and Tomas these two Romanian guys who were working the summer in America to save up enough money to buy their own snake farm in one of those unstable post Iron Curtain Eastern European countries.   Oleg and Gleb actually both married American women so that they could stay in America and both have kids and everything.  I don’t know how the snake thing worked out for the other two.

My crew and I did around 400lbs of dough a day amongst mass quantities of everything else that goes on pizzas.  We used to have to fill two fifty-gallon garbage pales with pizza sauce everyday. It was exhausting work but was a big help in me scoring my current job. My next restaurant job was not for a few years afterward when I took a job as pantry cook over at a swanky restaurant in Spring Lake.

There I was in charge of all the salads, appetizers and desserts.  I liked the work but was always rubbing elbows with the head waitress till one night I exploded on her calling her out for the loser in life that she was.  She ended up having a breakdown and went home in tears.  I got fired.  People skills have always been a weak point for me, although that lady was a fucking bitch ass cunt anyway.  I hope she takes her own life by dropping a toaster into her bath tube.  The world would for sure be a better place.

Why did I pick food?  I love to eat and for that matter I think most people do.  Eating is pleasurable and puts a smile on everyone’s face especially when the food is good.  When I cook a person’s favorite meal and see the look of pure bliss on his face it fills me with an unbelievable sense of satisfaction.  I love watching the kids at the college excitingly tear through my line when I have a pizza or other dish they enjoy.

I may come off as pretty confident person, but there are few things that I am actually truly good at.  Making food is one of them.  Since I had to do something to keep from starving, no pun intended I figured becoming a chef was the key to the next chapter here in Lisanti Land.  We had the Music chapter, The Professional Surfing Chapter, now its time for the food chapter.

If thats not the happy face of eating I dont know what is.