Posts Tagged ‘j7 surfboards’

Talk about a load of absolute bullshit!  Worse then bullshit.  I think I would have much rather have been dragged through a pile of filthy, smelly bullshit any day then have to live through a month of poor surf like I have never seen anyplace, anytime, my entire life.  Yeah, it was not the best summer on record for California.  We only saw one really exceptionally large south swell all season, the sand bars at Santa Clara River Mouth were average, Lowers was average and packed, as was just about ever other place I surfed. Never the less I stayed wet with the minor south swells that graced our coast.

Then August came along and it was as if the pacific ocean decided it wanted to fuck everyone who surfed in California over for the entire month.  Most days the report read 1-2 ft.  Some even read flat.  What little swell that did trickle up to the 805 was absolute crap not worth the drive.  Every day I kept hoping for things to pick up, but they didn’t.  When all was said and done I had surfed just five times in the entire month.  Since I started surfing I don’t think I can even remember a month that piss poor.  Some how I managed to not kill or maim myself,  end up in jail or get on a plane and disappear to a better surf locale.  Nope, I grinned and bared it like the rest of my fellow Californian surfers.  Lets just hope August was the sacrifice we needed for a good fall and even better winter.  If not I am going to have to move.  Here are my pathetic numbers:

Surf Sessions: 5
Days Surfed: 5
Time in the Water: 8 hrs
Waves Surfed: 172
Average Waves Caught Per Hour: 22 

Spots Surfed:
Emma Wood: 1
Gold Coast: 1
Ocean Beach, San Francisco: 1
Morro Bay, San Luis Obispo: 1
New Jetty: 1

I have no top surf sessions this month cause basically they all sucked.  The Ocean Beach session was the best of the lot and that was just barely palatable.  To read about a month of misery and a look into a surfer’s brain when there are no waves check out the August ’13 edition of the surflog.

Here I am looking very enthusiastic after 1 out of the 5 surfs I had in August. Note the lack of waves in the background.

Here I am looking very enthusiastic after 1 out of the 5 surfs I had in August. Note the lack of waves in the background.

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If you have not noticed the amount of blogs featured here on SurfingRuinedMyLife.net have become a bit limited, sort of like a fine vintage of a great bottle of Bordeaux.  Ok its not really like that at all.  Things have been a bit busy and my mood and spirits shift up and down like a crazy carnival roller coaster.  “Better to have loved and lost then not loved at all” I find myself in a constant struggle whether to agree or disagree with such.  I know I need to handle my shit and I think things are getting better.  I had a tough go a few weeks ago thanks to a certain circumstance that I am not really ready to discuss here.

I need more time to stew on it, come to terms with the results a bit.  Check out the November Surflog, 11/19 for a little on what happened there.   All I will say is that I am still in a state of constant amazement of the world around me, but more so on the way things have panned out for me at the moment.  I guess it could be worse.  I could be a heroine addict  and then not only be unhappy but also slowly killing myself with a filthy drug addiction.  Believe me after being through two heroine addict roommates back to back in the last four months It makes me feel a bit better about being a drunk.  As they say in Casablanca:

Nazi Guy: Nationality?
Rick: Drunkard
French Inspector: That would make Monsieur Nick a citizen of the world.

I think a great number of people out there drink in excess, but are afraid to admit it to themselves.  The first step is always admittance after all.  Then the next step is deciding if it is a problem or not.  I am still in the midst of the second step.  One thing for sure I will never give up my vin.  What the fuck is all this random ranting about? Well I think it is time to fill everyone in on what has been going down in Lisanti Land the last few weeks.  I am going to try something new this time and I hope it is entertaining.

“And with Daren’s Help We got that Chicken”

Me and Penny, the coolest Chicken in the world!

 There was this episode of Seinfeld entitled “The Voice” and it ran in the 9th and final season of the show.  Kramer gets this business intern fraudulently from NYU and then loses him when the school realizes “Kramerica Industries was no more then a man, and an apartment that may or may not contain a chicken”. Kooky now following in my footsteps working as a stock boy at Mesa Produce, the same place I got my start here in SB (look at me now kids, still partying at the Wild Cat whooot! The more things change the more they stay the same.  I came out here to get over a woman, only to meet another and then have her leave me right back where I started) happened to come across the opportunity to get a free chicken.

How could I say no to that.  The plan was since the chicken was useless, too old to lay eggs I thought it would be a grand idea to use her in a Recipe D’Jour feature called how to make a Chicken from Scratch similiar to the  “How to make a Pumpkin Pie from Scratch” feature only a bit more deranged and disturbing.  Then again it has been a year since that blog was written and that is exactly what Lisanti Land has become these days.  I was all ready to take my meat cleaver to her head.  Then one morning after a tough night out I was sitting in my backyard in an attempt to find inner peace and wisdom within the confines of my serenity garden.  Who jumps into my lap but the Chicken.  I was petting her and she was clucking and all seemed alright.

I promised her she would not die by my hands.  Unfortunately chickens are really messy animals and shit all over the place.  You know that expression where people say this sucks worse then chicken shit.  Let me tell you that chicken shit sucks pretty bad.  I built this ghetto rigged coup out of some chicken wire I found in the trash a while back and some broken picture frame I found for Ade’s to use as an art project once upon a time.  It was rather makeshift but did the job.  Well about two days ago Penny found her way out of the pen and has not been heard from since.  Ryan and I think the Mexican gardener who always comes into my garden and fucks up my plants stole her.  Kooky thinks she got eaten by one of the many predatory creatures that would love to make a meal out of a poor defenseless chicken.  In my fantasy land I like to think that she now lives safely and happily with in the confines of the thickly vined in area behind my building eating bugs and living the high life, whatever that maybe for a chicken.

“But What if it works”

There are good ideas, there are bad ideas and then there are the ideas you have when you are walking home from the bar at 2am drunk as shit.  There we found ourselves Kooky and I about a block from The Kitty on Ortega street staring into a fifty inch projection television set.  “Its does not work” I said.  “But what if it does” Kooky replied.  Next thing I know I am carrying a giant TV across town at 2am.  It was not that heavy just awkward as hell to hold.  We had to make occasional pit stops but only in spots where we could put the thing down on a surface just high enough that the TV could be propped up with out any extra lifting.   We passed some black guy near the Castillo 7-11 and he said “I have seen some stupid ideas in my day but this just may take the cake”.

We passed a cop car, campus security and countless others.  No one stopped us, tried to rob us and we did not get arrested.  Only in California.  In New Jersey we would not have made it one block with that thing.  We made it three miles.  An hour later we got home exhausted only to find out the next morning that it did not work.  Awesome.  We decided to pay it forward and put it outside the building with a sign that read “Free it works :)”.  Don’t ever forget who the king of the assholes is.

Those are the faces of champions...or idiots...you make the call.


I needed a woman in my life. “I’m not all bad, but was just drawn that way”

Read the surflog. All my surfing escapades and everything in between winds up there these days.  I do up date it every day.  I did get a new J7 Surfboard. I went a little more robust in the tail this time around.  So far it is going really well for me, although I have only gotten three session on it and have yet to cut its teeth at Rincon.  Time will tell.  Kooky did some dank ass art work on it as well.  Jason is on it these days and you really cant go wrong with a surfboard from him.

School has been a pain in the ass as always.  In my baking class I managed to be the only one in my class to pull off a flawless dessert and bread.  Still I was only bestowed a 91 because as my professor put it I did not challenge myself with the dessert.  I made a chocolate almond biscotti.  Besides I had never baked a loaf of bread before and I missed both bread classes thus handicapping myself a bit rather then not challenging myself.  I wanted to do a dry run on the bread at home, but ended up drinking instead.  I went in cold, book in hand and winged it.  Somehow I managed to bake two bad ass loaves if Italian bread.  Now maybe it is my heritage or that the man in the sky decided to cut me a break for a change. Either way I was rather proud of my bread.

How do you like them apples...errr, bread?

In my pantry class It was a group final where we had to produce a grilled chicken salad, eggs Florentine,  Rice Pilaf and a  grilled sandwich.  I did all the cooking, all the knife cuts and the final plating yet somehow was hit with a 5 out of 10 for execution because I mixed my mirepoix together prior to cooking for the pilaf and he was pissed that I missed the last two classes in a row.  Fuck, I cook for a living and most of the class was rather rudimentary for me.  I failed work study cause I did not bother to hand in any of the work and catering cause I did not do any of the work .  Last semester I pulled a 4.0 this semester it is shaping out to be a bit lower then that.  Hey if your not going to be first you might as well be last eh? Here are some shitty quality pictures of the project I took on my cell phone.

The Rice Pilaf severed in a roasted eggplant bowl.

Grilled Chicken Salad molded into primary shapes

The Trifector

So there you have it in a nut shell what has been going down in The Land of Lisanti.  Hope you found a laugh or two from my gnarl.

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My Best Shot from the day. Rincon February 17 2011, Photo Don Jayne

Last week I wrote a surf session blog called Big Name Pros, Stupid Car Surfing and Aggressive Line Up Tactic involving super fun Rincon, my boy JD finally having a good session (probably his best of the trip) and professional surfers Kelly Slater and Sally Fitzgibbons.  If you missed it I suggest clicking on the link and checking it out. It was a pretty entertaining surf blog.  Occasionally I find other blogs, photos or internet type stuff that links in with a blog I wrote.  When that happens I like to post it here.

This one was actually found by my former roommate and lurking partner in crime Brennan (Brennan has recently gotten some play here in the last two blogs:  The Paradoxical Plight of the Eunuch Cat and The Great Escape from Mission St. those are worth a read too if you missed them, more the latter).  This link comes from SantaBarbaraSurfer.com and has been featured on the both the myspace.com blog and SurfingRuinedMylife.net.  I really should feature them in my link section but have been too lazy to bother with it.   Its a pretty cool blog completely devoted to the Santa Barbara surfing community.

There is some text relating to the session similar to my blog on the day.  If you read you will notice the author also ran up to El Capitan for a surf like myself, except he must have gotten there about an hour earlier then I did because he actually was able to get some water time.  The slide show is pretty cool.  It shows you how the cove was on the day in question.   There are some amazing pictures of Slater, Sally Fitzgibbons, J7 friend/team rider Arson, Tom Curren’s older son and even three shitty shots of yours truly, Chris Lisanti.

In the comments he mentions something about even running a few pictures of the guys with “stinky style” when he gets the occasional shot where they are not embarrassing themselves.  Im sure I fall into that category.  Whatever, I have a ton of fun, even if 90% of the time I am completely kooking it, flailing around like a wounded condor. I have shots #33, 86, and 87 in the show. There are some pictures of the crazy equipment Slater was riding as well.  If you got a minute I would check it out: http://www.santabarbarasurfer.com/index.php/news/article/thursday_at_the_con/.

Kelly Slater always brings out the admirers.

Here is a classic example of what they call "Stink butt style".

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Ridiculously moronic acts of localism in California and my adverse experiences with it has been a reoccuring theme here on SurfingRuinedMyLife.net.  It seems every time we have a fresh instance the ante always gets taken up a notch.  Well today my friends I witnessed at the expense of Nick the Kook one of the most asinine acts of localism ever.  It all went down during a shitty, crowded, closed out sunset session at Pitas Point.

Forecasted  swells out here are always a shit show, the situation becomes even more exacerbated when they fall on a weekend and during a wave starved winter.  All of these entities came into play on this fateful day.  After a great morning session at Rincon (see surf log for more on that) we came back to town and chilled out for a little bit, enjoyed a splendid lunch at the Habit (the best mother fucking burger joint in the world), had an audience with renowned shaper Jason Feist of J7 surfboards, and closed my bank account at the worlds biggest collection of economical rapists Chase Bank.  Things were shaping out to be a remarkable day.

Then it all went so bad so fast.  Expecting a shitty crowd everywhere we headed out with very low expectations.  Rincon had over 200 people, Little Rincon was packed, Hobsons was crowded.  Pitas had a good crowd but over looking around we resolved on giving it a paddle.  Originally I was all for taking a nap in the car while Nick surfed, but then I saw some nuggy looking walls racing through the lower section of the point.

We get out there and with in the first ten minutes of the session I look back and I see Nick paddling for a stretched out one.  I knew he wasnt going to get far but let him play it out.  I guess this old guy in his late sixties, total geriatric was paddling for the same wave but a little farther down the ling.  Nick as he was about to stand up for the wave got sandwiched between his board and the old guy’s.  Before Kook got a chance to get free (all the while the wave peels by unridden) the old guy wound up and cracked Nick the Kook in the back of the head with an opened palmed Hay Maker!! A mother fucking open palmed hay maker!!!!! Who does that kind of aquamarine assault?

I will tell who: Old salty guys who are no longer able to keep up with the pack as a result of their withered body and take their frustration out upon others they feel to be weaker then them.  All I see is nick rubbing his head completely dumbfounded while the old guy is yelling at him.  “You must be from down South trying to pull a bullshit move like that.  Your from LA are’net you? Well Im from here”.  Nick completely confused and slightly maimed mumbled an apology and paddled over to me.

Initially I wanted to go get the guy and smash his face with a cobble stone, but then not being a person of value at Pitas and him knowing most of the other geriatrics out there we would have been ran out of the water and then embarrassingly had our asses kicked by a bunch of guys who were most likely sporting false teeth and Viagra.   Needless to say we let it go.  Poor Nick ended up with a ruined session and a nasty dent in the top of his head.  I felt bad for him but in another light found it to be one of the funner Nick the Kook and Chris Lisanti Misadventures to go down.

Below is a dramatized photo re-enactment of what went down:
(The part of the old man is played by Chris Lisanti, Nick as himself)

"Go back to LA Kook!"

"Go back to LA Kook!"


"Why would you do such a thing"

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Before I get into this week’s UCB I have a bit of an announcement to make.  As everyone knows there are only two more Thursdays left in the fall quarter.  As of right now the race is pretty tight between I think three people and there a few trailers in there as well.  This quarter in addition to the two more blogs up for grabs I am going to put up a chance at a bonus double points blog to be written on the 31st. So here is the deal the topic for this one has to be something really special or I wont write it.  I will allow an unlimited amount of entries for it.  With double points it could be the difference between a victory or not so get busy.


That being said this has been I believe the most successful UCB quarter ever and I would like to personally thank everyone for participating.  This week Kooky Kyle takes the win with the topic “what goes into the perfect surfboard quiver”.  I feel that this topic comes a sort of mystery, most surfers having no idea what type of boards are appropriate for them.  I being a rather credible source on the issue thought I would shed some light on the confusion.  (For those who may question my background I spent nearly eight years of my life working in surf shops, ten doing ding repairs and about six as a psuedo professional surfer)

What Should I ride?

Tool Box

A quiver is a toolbox, you put the tools in that are necessary for the job.  This is a theorem that for years I did not hold true to just as a result of pure ignorance. I will elaborate.  When I was 18 my principle short board was a 6’2 x 18” x 2” Squaretail with so much rocker there was not flat point in the board.  Then I had a groveler 5’8 fishy thing and finally 6’10 pintail gun.  I mainly surfed only NJ.  The short board and the fish were fine but the large gun for a kid who barely was pushing 130lbs (heck Im still only about 135) was a bit ridiculous especially in a wave scene like NJ.


The only reason I owned that board was because I thought I needed a big board for when the waves got sizable and I was just copying what I saw in the magazines.  The same could be said for my short board, which was way too big for me as well.  Like I stated earlier I did not know any better.

Your Perfect Board


My Perfect Board



Before we get into the quiver, a group of boards, lets talk about your own personal perfect board.  This is the corner stone of everyone’s quiver and with out an understanding of this board, building the perfect quiver is nearly impossible.  All you will end up with is a collection of trash.  The perfect board is a surfer’s go to board for any conditions.  It is the surfboard that if you were stuck on a deserted island and left with only one board you would choose.  Its your all around short board or long board depending on what you ride.


It took me years to get this board right and I am still refining it.  Technically one always should because as your surfing changes, the waves you ride change and your body changes over the years so should this one.  Im sure when I am fifty I wont be physically able to ride what I do now.  For me this board is 5’10 x 18 1/8” x 2 1/16” squash tail tons of rocker.  I have had plenty of success with this template for the last six years.  Many people comment that I ride too small of boards but then they forget that I have not gained any significant weight since I was 21.


Back east I rode my boards with less rocker to fit the erratic flat spots and condition changes, but when I moved to the west coast where the waves are more conform I found more success with fuller rocker out lines.  Obviously if you weight 185lbs and are 6’1 you should not be riding my 5’10 you would most likely want a 6’1 or 6’0 a bit wider and a bit thicker to accommodate your size.


Same thing goes for ability as well.  If you are the same size as me but have only been surfing for 3 years then my board wont work for you either.  Once again you might want something a bit thicker, wider and longer with much less rocker.  Your quiver needs to suit you first and foremost.  Years ago we believed that everyone should ride the same board regardless of your size or ability; since then we have all been enlightened.

Building Your Perfect Quiver


Surfboards are not cheap and getting the right ones can be an expensive headache of trial and error.  It took me nearly ten years to get a quiver Im happy with.  First off a surfer should always have two of this perfect board as described above because surfboards are very fragile and break and ding all the time.  There is nothing more frustrating to me then riding a board Im not happy with when the surf is firing because I broke my favorite short board.  If I have a duplicate in my quiver then I can just pull this one out and go to town.


I personally keep three copies of this board in my quiver, but I surf a bit more then your average person even now with my shitty full time job.  The next board that should be considered is a step up.

The Step Up


One of my step ups



Now your step up should be geared to the waves you want to ride.  I personally hate big waves.  Once it gets more then double overhead I don’t really have all that much fun.  After that size it always feels more like survival then surfing.  My step up is a 5’11 x 18 ¼ x 2 1/8 round tail with lots of rocker.


This board is only a little bigger then my all around short board but a bit wider and thicker for paddle.  This is the board I got to when things get dicey on my short board.  I also keep a 6’1 x 18 x 2 rounded pin tail for macking beach break.  This is my barrel board.  I have made some of the most ridiculous hair raising tubes on this shape.  A barrel board is one that should be shaped bit more narrow and thinner then your normal short board.  It should also contain a round tail or pin tail combination and be 2-3 inches bigger then your normal short board.


The barrel board is designed with one purpose, getting shacked.  This board should be able to hold a rail in the steepest sections the waves through at you.  It is also the board you must rely on in the most critical of moments.   Basically your step up board should be what you ride those hand full of days your home break gets outside of its normal comfort zone and a key board for travel.



A gun is a term that is loosely thrown around in surfing far too often if you ask me.  I am definitely guilty of the offense.  A gun is the board you ride when it gets scary.  This is your big wave board; triple overhead and bigger, when you pull a gun out of your garrison there should be butterflies in your stomach.  Most likely it is a day where the waves could kill.  Now like I said Im not a fan of big waves.  My gun is a 6’3 x 18 ¼ x 2 3/16 pin tail.   I have rode this board maybe ten times in my entire life.  I don’t go looking for giant waves and on the rare occasion that I find myself in a chest thumping mood I will pull out this board and go up north in search of fear.


Now if I lived in Hawaii a 6’3 gun would be laughable where the average gun is anywhere from 6’8-7’10.  Like I said your quiver is a toolbox.  I don’t live in Hawaii I live in Santa Barbara where we rarely see waves over double overhead and even that is rare.  Personally I feel a 6’3 is too big as well, but every now and again it comes in handy for a mission up north.

Rhino Chasers and Tow Boards


I cant give much help here because I don’t have the desire to ride waves the size of houses.  A rhino chaser is a gun made for waves in the twenty foot plus range.  They are what is ridden at Waimea, Todos, Mavericks and every other BIG wave spot in the world.  Most start at around 8’10 to as big as 11 and 12 feet.  I  would not consider purchasing one of these unless you live in a place near a big wave spot and believe yourself ready for the challenge.  I know when I was tested in such conditions it had me paddling back to the beach like a scared little girl.


Tow boards are super narrow and weighted down with lead usually in the 5’6 – 6’0 size.  I have only seen these boards in surf shops here or in production and have never rode one nor desire too.

Small Wave Boards


A good small wave board is gold in any surf locale.  No matter where you decided to settle down there are going to be terrible small gutless days, some places more then others.  You can either spend these days sitting around watching Brady Bunch re-runs on television or surfing.  I choose the latter.  This where a good small wave board comes into the picture.  Picking the right small wave stick is totally dependant upon how you want to surf tiny waves.   Do you want to still try and get high performance on it or do you want to cruise.


A lot of this is ability dependant as well.  If you are not great at surfing then most likely you should seek out a small wave board that will allow you the most float and maneuverability.  If you are looking to shred in the miniscule then you want a scaled down, stubby lower rocker version of your all around short board.  For me this is a 5’7 x 18 1/4 x 2 2/16 wide swallow tail.


Others lean towards keel fishes, which offer great float and glide in even the worst of conditions.  Round nose fishes give plenty of float and offer the rider a chance to ride a super small board with a fair amount of maneuverability.

Fun Shapes & Long Boards

Everyone should own a long board in their quiver.  You never know when you will have to rehab an injury, teach someone how to surf or just want to go out and chill.  I had never felt the need to own a long board till I moved out to Santa Barbara where there are tons of perfect point break set ups that break under knee high most of the time.  There is nothing more fun then cruising down a perfect point peeler on a good long board.


Long boards and fun shapes are also the unskilled surfers and big man small wave machines.

Specialty Boards

Specialty boards are those that are not necessary at all but in some cases fun or even cool to have.  Alias and hulls are perfect examples of these.  Who really needs a fin less surfboard that only works in perfect waves and is near to impossible to ride?  When you snag a wave on one and feel that unimpeded glide it’s a pretty cool feeling.  Retro boards are another one.  Every true surfer trying to reach guru status needs at least three classic boards from contrasting time periods and know how to ride them.  I currently have two but at one time had four.  How can we create new ideas with out revisiting the old ones from time to time?


Slab boards are another specialty board that has also recently came into modern quivers since everyone loves slabs.  A slab is a wave that comes into shallow water from deep water too fast to properly form thus causing a mutant triple up tube.  The Box in Western Australia is a perfect example of this.  Slab boards should be geared specific to the different slabs but rule of thumb should be your regular short board but thinner, more rocker, more narrow and pined out.


Basically the perfect quiver is not harmonious but specific to each surfer and his needs. It’s a toolbox.  End result you should own the boards that allow you to have the must fun.  At the end of the day that is what surfing is all about anyway.

My perfect quiver circa 2006, 2 5’10’s 2 6’1’s and a 6’3

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It occurred to me the other day that it has been quite some time since I have had what was formerly called on the myspace blog “week in review”.  I know each and every one of you is sitting around at home on the edge of your seats just wondering what the fuck Chris Lisanti has been up to.  Sure we have the occasional spot blog here and there where I rant and rave about some rather common misgiving that takes place, but overall since I started surfingruinedmylife.net I have not really kept anyone all that informed on whats been happening with me.

Truth be told I did not think anyone really cared nor did I for that matter, but then I figured I started the blog in 06′ in the first place as a sort of public diary to document my charade of a life.  For now on every Sunday or the ones I feel so inclined anyway I will write a brief update on what has been going on in my life.  Yeah how pumped are you?  Not that much, me neither.

Well my life has been really nothing more then a bore of lots of work and a little bit of surfing.  Im not going to write about my surfing escapades here because the surf log is an entire section of this blog you can visit that is updated daily with such information.   Work has been going good.  I have got into a pretty steady groove with both the pizza and grill stations.  Somehow it has gotten to the point where I can bang out 60 pizzas in under three hours or 550 sandwiches menu dependent.  I can cut 25 lbs of assorted vegetables in a rough chop in under an hour and chop up 100lbs of potatoes in about an hour and change.

My skillz with a knife have gotten pretty sharp, pun intended.  On the weekends I grill a total of 300 hundred burgers, fifty chicken sandwiches and 175 casadillas while standing in front of a flaming hot grill for six hours. I used feel burns now they are just a way of life.  Like today I burned up my thumb pretty good on the iron of the grill.  It must of hurt but I did not even realize I got burned till I got home and noticed a giant blister on my thumb.

This week I pretty much bought my entire knife kit.  After months of internet scouring for the best knives at the best prices I put together a fine assortment of professional knives for just under $250, a kit that should have costs close to $500.  How did I do it you ask.  All I can say is in life it is best to leave no stone unturned my friend.  I still have to get sharpening steel, a peeler and a tomato corer.  Stay tuned for a blog on my knives soon or a blog about me losing a finger, which ever comes first.

With all this work you would think I would be stacking some paper, but thats  not the case at all.  Fuck money Im going back to wampum.  I guess somehow I got promoted to primary ding guy at J7 as a result of Keoni going on an extended trip to Mexico.  Its cool at least I can work off my boards, but I am constantly reminded how much I hate doing ding repair.

Looks like I will be making a brief appearance in NJ in December from the 24th thru 28th just enough time to remember why I left so that I wont return for another two years.  Seriously I plan to be drunk most of the time so if you want to get thrashed with me let me know, plus I have not been home in two years so I have no idea whats hot in terms of where to party so anyone who knows whats up please feel free to guide me.

Thats all for now.   Like I said nothing too earth shattering this week to report.  Im rather boring these days actually so much so that I fell asleep twice while writing this.

Burger Time! For you its an intriguing picture, for me its an every day event!

Thank you and good night.

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Yesterday we ran the top five sessions from this October being a La Nina year. Today I though it would be fun to write about the best five sessions from last October, the El Nino year and compare the two.  Since it is technically a continuation of Devin’s UCB from yesterday (see What a Difference a Year Makes) he will get a half point for his efforts.  My records from last year were not as good as this year so these are the best out of what I had written down.


5: Rincon Cove, Wednesday 10/14, 8:30am: 3-5ft Bumpy Glass, No one out!

Wednesday marked the third straight day of torrential down pour, the first time it has rained here since May. In that three-day span I think we picked up at least five inches of rain. With rain comes run off and you can only imagine how dirty the runoff is after nearly 6 months of no rain. The result was near toxic water at all river mouth fed breaks (basically every spot here). Coming down there was plenty of swell, Santa Clause Lane in Carpenteria, usually a small shadowed beachie was solid head high and clean.

When Santa Clause looks like that I know to immediately go to Rincon. I pulled into the parking lot and there were only about 5 cars, a bad sign already that it was not working. I on intuition walked down anyway. In front of me was The Cove section of the point with two guys out and lines running all the way past the call box at the bottom of the point, a solid 100 yard plus ride. It looked a little mushy and disorganized but far from something to walk away from.

I ran back to my car and got dressed. The water was completely brown and there was certainly a healthy amount of garbage and dead animals floating around, but the waves too good to stop me. As I was paddling out the two guy who where surfing got out leaving the place all to me. I surfed the cove alone for a solid hour before five other guys showed up, ten guys at the height of the crowd. I ended up surfing till 12:30pm a solid four hours and my legs burned so bad from the absurdly long rights that I almost could not make the walk back up the trail.

I think it is safe to say that number 5 from last year was far better then 5 this year.


4: Little Rincon, Thursday, 10/15, 8:30am: 4-6ft Oil Glass

Manasquan stalwart Kevin Malone decided to make his first winter pilgrimage to Santa Barbara this year and lucked into what I think is the best Little Rincon I have ever surfed. That’s a lie cause number three was the best Little Rincon I have ever surfed. Brook-o actually was the guy who tipped me off on the place although I was rather skeptical since the tide was super high, almost 5ft (Little Rincon barely breaks sometimes on low tide). Not believing his usually overzealous surf reports I had a look at Rincon first, which turned out to completely swamped with the excessive high tide causing me to give Littlie Con’ a shot. Sure enough when Lindsay, Malone and I pulled up I saw a set wave brush the top of the little pier that goes out to this fake little island built by the oil companies for the rigs that created the wave. When that happens you know its solid 6ft at least.

The crowd was light only about 6 heads out and it looked pretty mellow. Sometimes Little Rincon can have a pretty agro crowd and since there is really only one take off zone in front of gnarly rocks 6 guys could be too crowded. This day however that was not the case and there were actually so many waves in each set and good in between waves that lots of waves actually went unridden. I started on my 5’10 but quickly due to the power and intensity had to move to my bigger board, which completely turned the session around.

Before that happened on my second wave I took off super late and deep after this guy sitting deeper then me got hung up in the lip dropping in. I was deep and late but totally confident that I was going to make it. I grabbed my rail and set up for a quick little pig dog off the drop. I guess this older guy sitting a little down the line from me thought that was the end of me and decided to go for the wave underestimating my ability. I ended up coming out of the bottom of the foam ball straight into my bottom turn only to look up at what I expected to be the falling lip I was anticipating on hitting. Instead I see this dude coming right down on top of me. I quickly attempted to torque the section gabbing my rail to cut my bottom turn shorter, but it was to no avail and the guy landed square on top of me. I don’t know what happened but what I do know is someone was looking out for me cause somehow I did not get hurt and my board was fine. Dude was super apologetic and considering the difficulty of the wave I was attempting to make I did not make a big deal of it.

3: 10/23/09 – Little Rincon 6-8ft

The swell went nuts. I was awoken by a call from Dave that Little Rincon was going berserk with the occasional 12 footer sweeping over the pier and cleaning up the entire line up. I grab my 6’1 round tail and I needed every inch of it. It was solid 6-8ft with occasional 10-12ft sets. There were about 15 guys on it but only three of us wanted anything to do with the bombs. I caught some of the best waves I have ever ridden at that spot or even Santa Barbara for that matter.

This is me on one of the small ones from this session

2: 10/24/09 – Pitas 4-6ft+

I got the best Pitas Pt I have ever surfed in my life. It was only about head high to slightly overhead but not a drop of water out of place. Pitas is a very sectiony point unlike Rincon despite its similar proximity in size. Usually if you can bang out three turns or get a quick barrel your stoked on your ride. This session however the lines were just running down the point connecting each section. You still had to be very fast but on the right one the rides had to be close to 300 yards. Did I mention there were barrels too? The crowd at its max was 15 guys and no one was hassling.  My very last wave I rode from the top of the point all the way to the top of Mondos, which is probably close to a 700 yard ride.  To this day it is still the best Pitas I have ever surfed.


1: 10/26/09 – Rincon 5-7ft

I had some friends from NJ visiting for this session and it blew their minds.  I was skeptical on how big it would be, but as we began to get in gazing distance of the top of the point I could tell just by looking at the swells hitting La Conchita that Rincon was solid. I was just sitting there in the back of the car saying “We have to turn around, Rincon is really really good”. Then we passed the point from the highway where it comes into full view and everyone was screaming with pure stoke.

From there it was a mad dash into our wetsuits and down the point, despite one salty local whom I surf with everywhere who upon seeing me with four friends shook his head at me. C’mon due its fucking Rincon. It’s no secret spot and there were 100 people out already anyway. What is four more at that point? California surfers really piss me off with shit like that.

As we come out of the trail and behold the line up it was pretty amazing. Everywhere you looked someone was getting barreled. It was almost stupid. The place looked like a beach break but it was Rincon. The crowd was focused between Lower Indicator and High to

Mid River Mouth. I opted to surf Low River Mouth, High Cove where there was only a handful of people sitting and still plenty of great waves to be had, plus on a 5’9 I was a little under gunned for the well overhead bomb sets coming off the top of the point. I still had to grab my rail on some of my bottom turns to keep from maxing out. I did not bring a bigger board cause I was not expecting there to be so much swell.

Everyone got some really epic waves. Charles was in serious awe of the wave. I think for the rest of his trip if not still mystified by the whole experience. The wave can be a real siren for some. It is the reason I gave up my entire life and moved out here. Alex got some good ones but unfortunately had some equipment malfunctions, ripping out one of the fins off his Merrick keel fish. Then he went back to the car and borrowed Dave’s long board which he subsequently lost to the rocks dinging both the nose and the tail. Mark was buzzing on his new J7, no surprise considering it was Keoni’s magic board. That left a very stoked Dave and I who traded super fun waves in the cove practically to ourselves till we could not see anymore. The whole crew was stoked as could be.
Well I think it is pretty clear that 2009 in October kicked this year in the ass by a landslide.

Nothing like the beautiful view of open face in front of you.

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This week the UCB gods, err; just me actually (I am in no way insinuating that I am The God or a god although I could be a god, but I would just settle for leader of some type of sick twisted cult that wears all black sneakers with bright orange shoe laces, spandex shorts and white netted tank tops and worships the invention of processed cheese in a can) makes a winner out of my friend Devin who suggested I do a comparison blog on the surf of last season (being the start of NW season is September and runs through May) to this one.  I thought it a rather good idea and not just worthy of a UCB but a new monthly segment.  As a result for his genius (Devin may really be a genius, he definitely is one of the smartest people I know) I will award him 2 points!

Here is how this segment is going to work.  At the close of every month I will pick my five favorite sessions for the Surf Log and compare them to my favorite 5 sessions from Last winter’s unprecedented near epic El Nino season.  I will also throw down a by the numbers on how many sessions I had for the month, how many days I surfed and which spots I surfed the most.  Enjoy!

October 2010 by the numbers:

Number of Sessions – 31
Days Surfed – 25
Average Wave Height – 2-3ft

Surf Spots

New Jetty – 9
Rincon – 7
River Mouth – 4
C Street – 3
Emma Wood – 3
Pitas – 2
Hollywood – 1
Jalama – 1
Leo Carrillo – 1

Top 5 Sessions

5: 10/13/10 AM Session – 2-4ft, Leo Carrillo
I had high hopes for this session, but when I got to Ventura it was foggy, cold, windy and small.   This led me to car surf for over two hours before using the benefit of intel from both my friends Ryan and Devin I decided to go to Malibu for some late season south swell action and better winds.  I met Devin at Leo where it was a bit inconsistent but fun chest to head high peaks coming in with a light crowd of ten or so sitting on the rock.  Leo is a super tight line up so on an inconsistent day like this ten was still almost too crowded.  I had the whole day and in the course of a three and a half hour session managed to surf a bunch of fun rights despite the typical rude selfish L.A. surf mentality.

4: 10/14/10 PM Session – 2-4ft, Santa Clarita River Mouth
I never have high hopes for an after work session especially if I have to go to Ventura where more times then not the wind is going to be on it.  The Cstreet cam was showing clean chest to head high waves coming in behooving me to believe that the harbor would have good conditions also. I headed that way figuring on surfing New Jetty, but upon checking it noticed that the late season south swell was working its magic on the ledgey sand bars at river mouth, a sight I have not seen since late spring time this year.  I called this new guy at work Kevin, who met me in the parking lot at the knoll and together with about five other guys spread along 8 different peaks we enjoyed glassy slab lefts.  It was a fucking below sea level, backless barrel fest.

3: 10/5/10 AM Session – 2-4+ft, New Jetty

Its pretty ironic that today was also what I would call a “Jersey Session” except unlike yesterday I am using it to describe an awesome surf.  The wind was offshore, a California rarity, sure there is always that myth about “Santa Anna Winds”.  They blow for like a day and a half.  I think if I see a dozen true offshore days a year out here it is a lot.  This morning was one of them.  I pulled up to New Jetty and Im not going to lie it looked a little fat with the high tide and around eight guys one it not making it look all that fun. Then after ten minutes of watching I saw a left or two a bit up the beach from the usual take off spot suck out and throw.  That was enough for me.  What ensued was an onslaught of barrels.  If I did 12 turns the entire session it was a lot.  I got pitted off my ass on left and right keggers all fucking morning till the wind went side shore at noon but it was fine cause I had been out since around 8:30.

2: 10/15/10 AM Session – 3-5ft, Jalama
There is nothing like getting a break from humanity and making the trek up to Jalama especially with no wind and a holding south swell.  Conditions were glassy and the sand bars have finally gotten back to normal allowing for plenty of fun barrels.  I ended up cruising up with Lindsay being her first time there she was more then amped on the conditions. Crowd was surprisingly heavy with a solid thirty guys from T-Cracks to inside Tarantulas.  I mean this time of year your lucky if there are more then five guys out, but the water was crazy warm so I guess it evens out and besides I still got a ton of great waves.    I also found out they sell a Jalama pass for $44 bucks for the year.  Im all over that.

1: 10/29/10 – AM Session – 4-6ft, River Mouth

There are good surf session, there are great surf session and then there are sessions that go down as all time. This morning at River Mouth was one of the latter. It was a barrel factory out there. The first hour was nothing but perfect left and right hand draining barrels with light offshore winds. By 11am I had gotten so many deep barrels I had lost count. It reminded me of really good Hatteras. Everywhere you looked someone was getting spit out of a tube or there was a perfect cylinder running through unridden. After three solid hours the wind came up ending one of the better sessions I have had this fall and in the last six months.

***If you like these little synopses of my surf sessions feel free to visit my surf log on this blog where I post my surf sessions daily.***

Here is my favorite picture of me from October and also from the best session as well.

This guy is all ready to join the cult.

mmmmmm...processed cheese in a can

Stay tuned for last October’s comparisons tomorrow!

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I hate Idiots, but I especially hate idiots that surf and surf badly at that.  All day at work today while I was in the midst of making 75 pizzas by 11am and then from 11-1:30 while I was serving them and from 2-3:30 while prepping for tomorrow’s rotisserie the only thing on my mind was getting out of there to take advantage of the NW wind swell/groundswell combo.  Finally when quiting time came I was out of the kitchen faster then a fat kid runs to eat a piece of cake.

I went straight to Rincon where I was let down for the second straight day in a row (read Surf Log for more on that session).  From there I cruised to Pitas for a hopeful repeat of yesterday.  It was a little bit bigger probably around chest to head with even the occasional bigger set.  There was a little cross chop on the face but from the looks of it the top of the point had some solid killable walls pushing through with only six guys on it and it appeared they were missing more waves then they were surfing.  I was on it.

I got out in the lineup and was having a pretty decent time hitting beyond vertical backside reo’s.  After an hour of this about four other guys came out, two of whom fit into that bro, I think I surf well but I look like shit category.  My least favorite of all the surfing genders.  Of course these idiots come out and immediately start paddling every one too deep.  I was having more fun riding the inside double ups anyhow to be bothered with the set waves which were mushier and I could not be bothered with jockeying with average surfers who think they are in a world tour event or something.

While Im sitting on the inside relishing this section of the wave a good size set most likely overhead came in.  Mr. Bro decided he was going to take off on the biggest close out of the set.  I paddled deep to get out of his way but sometimes at Pitas the bowl shifts back deep, backs off and then doubles out and closes out like something you would expect to see from shore dump.  This was the case with this particular wave.  All of a sudden bro was dropping in right on my head.

Now he had plenty of time to see that A) this wave was going to dump and not be worth his while, B) even if it was not a close out the drop itself was well out of his personal skill set and C) there was a surfer directly in his path (me) and pull out of the wave.  Of course “stupid is as stupid does” brostapha air drops right onto my head.  Luckily as I was about to duck dive I realized I was more likely then not about to get decapitated by inferior surfing ability and ditched swimming as deep as I could to save my own skin.

I knew I would come out unscathed but my board on the other hand took the full brunt of the hit.  When I surfaced I found my relatively new board sliced clean through in two places and a third hole half way through as well.  The two worst slashes measured longer then four inches a piece long.  My board was trashed.  Bro looked at me was like “Dude are you ok”.  I responded “Im fine but my board is trash”.  He retorted “duh, sorry but I got stuck and could not turn and had to take the air drop”.  I looked him square in the eye and said “Its kind of hard to do anything when you paddle for an obvious close out, FUCKING DONKEY”.  Upon which I splashed some water in his face and took my next wave in ending my session an hour early and ruined what was turning out to be a great board.

I hate bad surfers, but more then that I hate stupid surfers.  Sure I have had a few collisions in my day but those were more or less due to poor paddling decisions on a paddlers side or miscommunication in a game of chicken.  In most cases with the exception of one everyone came out alright anyhow.  This is like the fourth time since I have been out here in California that I have had a board destroyed by some jack ass.  There was a time when the line ups used to be full of only competent surfers and were run and dominated by the elite.



The first picture is before the incident the other two show the extent of the damage.


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