Surfing Ruined My Life

I sat there on the bluff at Emma Wood over looking the pathetic waist to chest high windblown inconsistent mid tide south ground swell lines getting ripped to shreds with four guys on it rather unenthusiastically.  Truth of the matter I was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally.  My life has been on a run away train the last two weeks down a track unknown to me.  On another level I feel I have really grown as a person in that short time as well.  Upsetting things happen from time to time and how one reacts to them can really say a lot about their character.

Initially I had many terrible thoughts of anger, rage and revenge (my all time favorite at one point in life).  Instead of going down the paths that have led me constantly astray I sat down and thought out my situation and did what I think was the best thing to do.  I did what I think a “real adult man”, a “respectable man” would have done.  More Im not ready to discuss, but I feel drained.  Someone told me its our actions and the stories we tell that give insight of the person we are.

After three days being attacked by misery, despair and ardurous emotions I thought I had dispelled from my persona years ago I needed a mental break.  After work to Emma Wood I went.  Considering all of the above and the fact that I did the LAX three and half hour circle before work today starting at 3am the urge to grovel was less then enticing.  I did my usual Emma Wood practice of bumbling around the parking lot for over a half hour or so kicking dirt, making phone calls to kill time all in the hope that I would see a few nuggets to peak my interest.

An hour past at least, and I was about to get in my car and drive away when this random dude pulled up next to me looked at the slim pickings, then pulled out a suit and began getting dressed.  Amazed I asked him if he checked the point (cstreet). He said it was windy and not any good.  I replied “your really going out”?  “There are two guys out and Im sure its better then it looks.  Its always better to surf then not surf” he retorted.  Those last words sounded very familiar to me.  Then he looked right at me  as if he could see through my soul and all my internal suffering and said “I think you should really surf too, you could use it”.

On that note I put on my suit and jumped in the meager conditions.  He was right I could use the surf.  We shared the empty torn up line-up for about 45 minutes before an old surf acquaintance of mine decided to paddle out as well.  Its funny I think the only times I surf with this guy is whenever Emma Wood is horrible.  I had a few fun ones although nothing to write home about.  The water was very clear and clean and it was nice to take my mind off things for a short while.

Surfing has been my life blood since I was ten and my antagonist for just as long.   Its funny no matter how many times surfing ruins my life I keep on going back to it.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results…