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Archive for the ‘Kooky’s Korner’ Category

Kooky Lives: Alive and Unscathed in NZ

Posted in Kooky's Korner, Life, Surfing, tagged , , , , , , , , on March 17, 2012| 5 Comments »

Where has Kooky Kyle been?  What has that crazy guy with the giant red clown fro been doing since his departure from Lisanti Land?  These are all very good questions.  Yet I am not the one the answer them.  Finally after nearly two weeks of incommunicado Kooky hit me up with a short  but sweet Kooky’s Korner.  I will not ramble on anymore cause you have that inflicted upon you here a bit too much. ..Chris

It is bizarre some trips it doesn’t set in that you are leaving until you are actually leaving. That was certainly the case here. I might have said I knew I was leaving before I left but only upon finding myself on the bus to LAX did the actual excitement set in.  The airplane ride was boring, but what does one expect of a 12 hours in an aluminum tube? (I guess Kooky did not take full advantage of the open bar.  Shit every time I fly overseas I am hammered on the plane.  Last time I went to New Zealand the flight attendant cut me off cause as she put it my drunken antics were causing distress to the other passengers.  Then I passed out in the airport at Fiji and nearly missed my connecting flight, which I would have missed had it not been the only flight leaving and their port authority would not let the plane take off unless the entire roster was accounted for.  Needless to say I ended up delaying the flight by about a half hour…Chris)I was in and out of Auckland and I really lucked into my room at the hostle, as it was the last one available. Same thing happened at Solscape this hostel in Raglan on the middle of the west coast of the north island, not to mention one of the best surf spots in the entire country.

 I slept off my jet lag on Saturday and surfed on that Sunday and Monday.  Chris’ friend Sara from back in New Jersey now currently chilling in New Zealand, Sara hooked me up with a WOFer positon. I work for two and a half hours around the resort and I get free room. It is really stretching my money. All things considered at the moment I plan on staying in Raglan until about the 25th of March and then depending on the swell forecast I might travel.  I have a few different possible hook ups, two in Taranaki, and a spot in Christchurch and Hawkesbay. So my plans are really wide open.

 Dave Rastovich was here all last week and Tom Curren played a gig in town as well.  The surf spots here are pretty good. Whale bay isn’t  a great wave, but Indicators and Manu Bay are world class.  The beach is a cross between wrightsville beach and a doubled up closeout. I made it up to Rapuke , another beach break a with a ton more exposure to swell just above Raglan, once. Ironically I ran into a  group of guys from NJ, but the tide was too drained out and it was a massive closeout.  Looks like there is a little flat spell coming with mid day low tides so hopefully I can get in up at Repuke.
 This is really all I have time for as I pay by the minute for it…Till next time Kooky Kyle.
Well there you have it folks the thrilling adventures of Kooky Kyle thus far.  Stay tuned for the final installment of my Spring Break 2012 series and this week’s  UCB.  Dont forget to submit your power of ten lists for March.  They are good for  two points.  

A look at two of the spots Kooky has been surfing. Indicators is the far point and Whale Bay is in the foreground.

 

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As My Time Here Draws to a Close: Kooky’s Korner

Posted in Kooky's Korner, Life, Surfing, tagged , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2012| 1 Comment »

Kooky’s time here is waning, closing in on just about two weeks.  I must say the kid has certainly grown on me these past few months.  I believe he has seen more sides of Chris Lisanti than anyone besides maybe my mother.  Kyle has experienced, angry Chris, party Chris, drunkard Chris, depression Chris, suicidal Chris, hard working Chris even relationship Chris.  Despite dealing with all my moods and insanity he has stayed true and loyal.  In this day in age it is a trait hard to find in another human.  I respect this trait for I myself am one of the most loyal subjects to be found.  Those that head me will get the same treatment in return.

I feel a bit like a proud mentor at this moment.  I have watched over the past four months a kid who I thought might get eaten up by the world learn how to survive outside of the realm of a book.  Knowledge gets you far, yet knowledge plus experience earn one wisdom.   Two months ago I had real fears for the kid over in New Zealand and in life in general.  He survived an extended stay in Lisanti Land at one of the heaviest eras in it’s history.   As I watch him command himself both at life and work these days I am honored to call him one of my brothers.  Kooky Kyle is going to make it in this life folks and its not going to be as drone as I once was afraid of.  I feel assurance that on the road of life he shall take the path less trodden upon.

What a month it has been since you last heard from me. I am still alive believe it or not. I surfed epic El Capitan and some really good Rincon with manageable crowds. I can finally surf a point as it should be surfed, linking turns and sections together. I am no master, but a wave is not totally wasted on me. After nearly four months here I finally got a real mattress and my room is my own, though Alfie still likes to use it as his litter box. Marc recently left, and left his sickness he picked up down in Orange County around the apartment. I am trying to dodge it as best I can. We now have a new couch mate, Dave. He came here as a guest of Chris, but now, I consider the kid a friend of mine too. I guess that is how these things work, shared roof, shared food, shared bar tabs, and shared friends. Gainfully employed, and secure in my living situation, I am now gearing up to leave Santa Barbara.

Why, you ask? First if I do not leave soon, when? Sure next month is a likely bet for some of the more elusive spots to turn on. After that the likelihood of scoring the points rapidly diminishes and what am I doing here? I have booked my ticket to New Zealand and will be there for forty days. I am really excited and a little nervous. Never in my life have I set off to be, as far from everyone I have known, as I am about to be. How can one grow though when they live in the shade of comfort? Even here in Lisanti Land I had a safety net of Chris and the Palace. Even though Chris and I joke about killing each other, I know he has my back as he has illustrated time and time again. Now do not get me wrong, I have grown here  My surfing has definitely improved as I have constantly pushed myself in the water.  I have also learned there is more to life than surfing. Surfing can be the avenue to what else there is in life or it can block you off to it. I hope that I can find the prior to be true, as I have lived most of my life so far under the later.  I will undoubtedly make memories and grow on this adventure. No concrete plans, no travel partners, it is just me.
After New Zealand I have a few things cooking. Some opportunities have come up that I want to take but would have to give up on others. It does look as though I will be returning to New Jersey and rounding out my last summer as a lifeguard.  It saddens me to think that my childhood is ending. I have spent every summer of my life with my extended family at our beach house. I spent more time there than many of my cousins, especially in these recent years. I made many of my best friends there, some of whom are more than friends now.  They are family. Alas, all things must pass. I stand on the verge of my adulthood and see the experiences that lay ahead and I embrace it.
If you are in New Zealand let me know I wouldn’t mind grabbing a beer or some waves with anyone.

Brothers from another mother.

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What Has Kooky Kyle Been Up too? (Kooky’s Korner)

Posted in Kooky's Korner, tagged , , , , , , on January 25, 2012| 2 Comments »

We have not heard from our good friend Kooky Kyle in quite sometime now.  Most of that is my fault since I have been too lazy to post some of his other blogs.  Some I am yet to decid whether I wish to or not.  One thing is for sure I really must commend the kid.  He has managed to survive nearly four months in Lisanti Land living exclusively at the Palace and currently sits in the number two seat under me here at the Lisanti Court. 

Don’t think it has been easy.   Anyone who has spent any time here knows just how trying it can be on a persons mind, body and soul.  He has put up with near deaths due to bike break dysfunction as a result of drunken maliciousness, samurai sword mishaps, my drunken tantrums, my drunken violence, urban golf and some rather out of hand after partying.  Feel free to check out the surflog the past few months for the details on some of that.   So far he has not lost his mind and I think is actually having a good time.  Here is a brief update he wrote like a week ago or so.  As I said I am lazy thus just getting around to posting it now.  With out further ado here is Kooky’s Korner….Chris

What is new with me?  The holiday season ended my tenure at Mesa Produce as they are closed for the winter. Chris graciously hooked me up with another job. This time I am working the pizza and grill stations at Westmont College. Our hours don’t really coincide most days, which is a bit of a pain in the ass. I worked my first day yesterday and all things considered I think I can handle it. My time schedule for New Zealand has been pushed back as I had some unforeseen expenses out here. I lost then found my passport and have to wait for a new one to arrive. When that comes I will get a definitive date for New Zealand. Presently I have my room all to myself as Ryan moved out and until Chris starts the hunt for a new room mate the room is mine, complete with one super under inflated, deluxe air mattress.

We have been hosting a string of visitors as of late. My friend Brendan came up from San Diego for Christmas. I am the Grinch. The commercialism of Christmas repulses me as well as the guilt people use to make you participate in the festivities. I am not Christian and I do feel I should have to participate in the holiday. That said, the way this Christmas went was fantastic, minus the trip to the jail. It got stripped down to the basics, no work, and enjoying the company of friends. I really enjoyed it and I hope Brendan enjoyed himself.  Check out the Christmas blogs for the details on that, Part I, Part II and Part III . Currently we are providing a couch for Chris’s buddy Marc and his friend Michaela. I believe Cory is on his way out here as well. John promised to make the trek down from San FranFABULOUS for Chris’s birthday, which is only fair because we both powered the trip to visit him for his birthday.
Surfline has been hyping the latest run of swells we have had, but they have been blowing the wind forecast, calling for light offshores all day and instead we have been plagued by south winds. What would have been pretty epic conditions were consequently torn up and over crowded. Instead of surfing we powered through the majority of the renovations. Ah, so is life. All things considered the job went fairly smoothly, and things are pretty much done; the final touches just need to be put on and the place will look one hundred times better. That should bring everyone up to speed. I have a few blogs that need a little editing and should go up soon. I got a new phone and can’t pull numbers off of it so if you can leave it here in the comments, send me a text with your name, or give it to me via facebook, I would be very appreciative.
Thanks for reading,
 Kooky
To fill everyone in on the blanks.  Micheala came and went.  Her adventure tour will be a rather interesting blog that I have at the moment not had a chance to write.  She almost killed all of us, yours truly included.  Cory never made it out here.  Either that or he is still waiting for me to pick him up at LAX.  That is our running joke since I never heard from him and he has not since returned my calls about said trip.  My birthday is coming up and it will be a solid three to four day party.  Look for a promotional blog about that event tomorrow.  
Brendan is coming back up around the 30th for his trial for his Christmas fiasco.  I am sure we will fuck some shit up with him here.  Kooky has been at Westmont for almost two weeks now. I must say the kid is doing a rather good job and I think everyone likes him better then me at this point.  Heck no one fucks with him quite like they did to me when I first started.  I fuck with him twice as hard to make up for it.  His passport came in the mail about a week ago as well.  Things are looking up for the kid.  If he does not die here in the coming weeks he should be getting barreled in New Zealand soon.    That under deflated air mattress is now flat with a hole in it courtesy of Micheala.  Good times.

Look out for this guy folks.

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Stick that Thumb Out: Kooky’s Korner

Posted in Kooky's Korner, tagged , , , , , , , on December 17, 2011| 7 Comments »

This Edition of Kooky’s  Korner Kooky covers a topic which I have benefited from many a time, Hitch Hiking.  In my opinion it is one of those throw back common courtesies that has been lost in today’s society.  There was a time when one could stick a thumb out and get a ride just about anywhere.  Sometimes new friends were made, ideas exchanged or at the very least a good deed done.  These days hitch hiking has gotten a bad name with all the crazies out there.  

The thing is how many people really get robed, murdered, killed or raped in comparison to how many do not from hitching.  I mean they don’t make reports on the news about hitch hikers who have no adversity.  I guess a few bad apples spoil the whole basket.  I personally am a strong advocate for hitch hiking being on both sides of the coin.  This is not my forum to write and Kooky did a pretty good job on the issue.  I will let him run on it…Chris 

What do you do when you see a person with a thumb out walking down the side of the road? Most people in America wouldn’t think twice about continuing driving, and most Americans wouldn’t hitchhike. Well I am not most people. I am Kooky Motherfucking Kyle.

 The first time I ever hitch hiked was in Belize my sophomore year of college. I had just taken a plaster cast of Jaguar tracks on the edge of a jungle road that ran into a nature preserve and was walking back. I reached the edge of the preserve and was walking along the edge of a massive orange orchard.  It just so happened that a field worker was rolling down the rutted dirt road on a dirt bike. He pulled over and asked if I needed a ride back into town. With limited time to catch breakfast, I didn’t hesitate.
I jumped on the back of the bike and we zoomed off down the rough road.  I only really started hitch hiking in my final year of college to cut down on my walks to class. Short rides really, maybe a half mile. They made my day. Often times it would be class mates slightly puzzled that I was walking back from class and even more so that I was hitch hiking. Lately I have been using it as a means of getting around town here in Santa Barbara (most often back from the Kitty). I have gotten rides from a French surfer, a cute girl in her mid twenties, a British guy and his girl, and a taxi driver who was “headed that way anyway”.
On the converse side I have given people rides before too. Once on the way to a regatta, I was in the truck pulling our crew team trailer. This old black man came up and asked where we were going camping thinking that the shells were canoes. Well it turned out he was going in our direction and had no problem riding in the bed of the pick up. One glorious thing about the south is people can ride in the bed of a pick up even on the interstate.
 This past spring I tossed an ad on the wonderful Craigslist and gave a hobo couple in their twenties, their dog and her 10 day old puppies a ride from Wilmington NC to Baltimore MD. It was cool they had a different path in life and were pretty interesting as a result. These people had hitch hiked across the country and back, hopped trains, totally transient.  Gnarly as they were, the chick had a Mohawk, the guy had tats on his face and a rat tail, they were good people. I asked them about hitching and they said the people who pick you up are a strange mix of Bible thumpers, concerned parents who see their kids in the hitch hiker, people who hitch hiked back in the 60’s and 70’s, and people like me who are just nice enough to give you a ride. I asked them where was it easiest to hitch hike,  the girl said that hitching was easier in the south, because everyone has pick ups and you can just hop in the bed.

The fact that hitch hiking is frowned upon in America saddens me. Have things come so bad in this country that we cannot trust one another? Sure I the rider might be a nutso serial killer, but they don’t know that you aren’t either. In other parts of the world it is still acceptable. I hopefully will be in one of those places this winter, New Zealand. I will acknowledge that hitch hiking is not the safest activity to partake in, but it is not nearly as dangerous as people make it out to be. Trust your gut instincts, it will usually tell you when there is something arye. So, share rides, you never know what interesting tale you may hear or what interesting person will pick you up – Kooky Kyle

I have to say that I myself passed by this dirty looking homeless couple along Sea Cliffs the other day and just by the look of them I could imagine the stench.  I shook my head and drove on by.  If there was a puddle next to them I probaly would have sped up and drenched them.  Then again I am a fucking asshole.

I dont know if you want to give this guy a ride, but you can decided that for yourselves.

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The Wild Cat…Meow

Posted in Kooky's Korner, tagged , , , , , , , on November 11, 2011| Leave a Comment »

This week’s Kooky’s Korner, Kooky Kyle lets everyone in on some of his recent nights at the Wild Cat Lounge here in Santa Barbara and the official bar of Lisanti Land.  Enjoy.

For any regular reader of this blog, you are familiar with Chris’ favorite haunt and if you have visited Lisanti Land the Santa Barbara Chapter, you have probably been to the Wild Cat. The first time I came here I had the opportunity to have such experience. I barely remember walking in the door. Reliable sources have told me I walked up to two girls and told them I wanted to lose my virginity to both of them in a threesome.  Some how that was not met with a slap instead it received laughter. Long story short I ran away that night and almost made it home but over shot it by about a half mile away from the Lisanti Palace(For more on Kooky’s first visit to SB read Kooky Kyle’s Chris Lisanti Adventure Tour and Kooky Kyle Speaks Out).

 With the beginning of our relationship starting in such a manner you can only imagine the insanity that the place has about it. It is so much better than that stupid hipster bar we went to in San Fran, seriously only, “only obscure” late 50’s early 60’s R&B? Fucking hipsters. Wild Cat is the unofficial hook up bar and the unofficial gay bar of Santa Barbara. With that being the case, I have been approached a few times by some people I would never want any sort of sexual encounter with.
The Swingers
 About a week ago Chris, his boy Ryan and I were out on a lurk at the Kitty. I went ahead of them to get a space at the bar to order more drinks. As I am standing waiting for a space to open up this older guy, whom I would guess was in his mid to late forties came up to me from one of the little tables by the bar. He was tall and a little overweight. I figured he was getting in line to get a drink too.
“She is a real looker isn’t she?” He said gesturing to a similarly aged fat woman with short blonde hair seated at his table. This woman was gross. She was clearly tipsy and was in jovial spirits. “She looks like a real keeper.” I said. I figured that it was either his wife or girlfriend and I didn’t want to insult her.
“She thinks you are pretty cute.” Well that was weird. I’ll take a compliment like that any time but this was starting to get a little bit on the strange side.  “Thanks, I like to think so” I replied.  “Do you want to come back to our place?” he asked. WHOA WHAT THE SHIT! Did that really just happen? I was shocked; I barely could put a reply together.
“Uh, baaaa, huuh no?” I answered and got the hell out of there as fast as I could.

Gay Night
Sunday is Chris’ Friday so what do you do at the start of your weekend? You go out of course. Sunday also just so happens to be Gay Night at the Wild Cat. You may question the logic of why two straight men would go to gay night. Well, if there are any girls there at all,  they are either trying just to dance or they are looking for a one night stand. Also straight guys tend to stay away. Chris’ old boss, Steve, was in town and we all went out.

Chris has been a fixture at this bar for a while so the gay guys know he is straight and not to try with him. Me being a fresh face though, no such luck. I had been getting looks all night, but had yet to be approached. Chris was off somewhere leaving me on my way with Steve to grab a drink from the bar.  As we were crossing the dance floor a gay guy with a bi-chromatic fohawk appeared in front of me blocking my way. I was instantly eye raped. Feeling a little awkward he then tried to slip a hand down my pants. WHAT THE HELL!! I thought.
As I sit here writing this I am trying to justify why it happened? Was I being a cock tease? My handsome self at gay night, that is like dressing like a slut and going to a Guido bar and not expecting to get groped. Whatever, I still didn’t welcome the advance. I quickly stepped back and pulled his hand away from my dick. “I’m not gay, man, sorry.” I steadily got away from him. But the ordeal was not over for the night.
Towards the end of the night we worked our way over to the dance floor and were tearing it up. There was this gnarly cougar dancing with three gay guys thinking she was the hottest thing out there.  She was straight gnarly. Twenty-five years ago she was probably smoking hot, but the years of partying had clearly taken a toll on her.  One of the gay guys saw something that was actually of his preferred gender (me), came over and unbuttoned one of my shirt buttons. “I’m sorry, I just had to do that.” He stood there expecting some sort of reciprocation from me. He only received a look of utter dismay and mild disgust.
Now about a month into my stay I am pretty much one of the regulars at The Kitty. Chris has the bartenders in his pocket and while we normally stagger away from there our tab is rarely over twenty bucks. Who knows what the future holds for me at the Wild Cat, hopefully I have dodged enough gnarly swingers and overly forward gay men and some gorgeous women will start falling into my lap.
Kooky Kyle

Post press: Last night Kooky and I hit the Wild Cat with a vengeance.  What was suppose to be a fun night with a mellow buzz became a “lets get fucking shit faced” night.  Bottom line by the end of the night we were fucking wasted.  Kooky Blacked out most of the night.  What ensued was him terribly hitting on girls, stealing the hat off the head of a Bacardi Promo Girl then proceeding to dance like Micheal Jackson wearing it.  The night ended with us nearly going home with three gay guys that luckily my good sense at the last minute saved us.  Good times. 

What Kooky has yet to score at the Wild Cat, a cracked out wild chick.

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Procrastination (Kooky’s Korner)

Posted in Kooky's Korner on October 26, 2011| 5 Comments »

Well as usual we don’t ever keep to a schedule here at surfingruinedmylife.net.  Not that it matters much since our reader base is a whopping five people.  Kooky actual did write this to be posted on Friday, but I was angry that night after work and drank half a bottle of port thus passing out before getting a chance to post it.  Since his topic was all about procrastination I think my not posting it here till over four days later is rather fitting.  Its not that thrilling of a segment this week.  I read it, but for lack of any better content from me, minus the usual psychotic rants I have been posting I figured why not throw it up there.  Plus no one is master of not finishing things more then I.  Enjoy.

Koooooooooky KYLE……

 I am great at starting things but I suck at finishing them. The most famous instance of this is a bird feeder I made in 6th or 7th grade. I was building a lot of bird houses at the time and figured it would be cool to make a bird feeder. The one I made looked like a little house with two big picture windows so one would know when it was time to refill it. Anyways, I sped through the whole process of making the bird feeder, the lid was hinged, and had a lock to keep out raccoons and squirrels, it was painted and  sealed the only thing that was left to do was to put a piece of plexiglass on the inside and glue it in place. And to this day eleven years later, it still needs to be put in. I actually think the bird feeder has been thrown out.
            Other similar projects I have done have been two surfboards I shaped and never glassed. These took 6 years to complete as I hated glassing, eventually I had a friend who was competent enough at glassing so he did them for me. One of the boards was actually super fun. It was a 5’7”x18 ¾”x 1 7/8” concave decked parabolic stringered epoxy which I gave to him for glassing. It was fun as hell in tiny waves, I never got to surf it in anything over thigh high The second board still needs to have the second set of fin plugs put in.
            I did this painting of Padang Padang, and I started it and then left it for a while and then forgot about it. Eventually I finished it but I let too much time pass and I forgot how I mixed the color for the ocean. If you see it in person the two waves don’t really match perfectly.
            There you have it, a little bit about me. Never leave things open ended with me because I will probably never put it off until it has to be done.

I don't know what this has to do with a bird feeder or Kooky, but it came up while I was searching for bird feeders. This blog sucked, just like this picture.

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Kooky’s Korner

Posted in Kooky's Korner, tagged , , , , , , , on October 17, 2011| 6 Comments »

The man the myth and the legend

Kooky Kyle showed up at my apartment last Tuesday (my very attentive ass thought he was suppose arrive on Monday and was like WTF) despite warnings from multiple people including my own parents to rethink his decision. Lisanti Land is ok for a week but four months is tough.  That amount of time is enough to drive anyone to insanity.  Look what happen to poor Adrienne.  She stuck it out for almost two years. Im sure her life is never going to be the same.  Since I am lazy and barely post ten blogs a week I thought it might be fun to give Kooky a chance to give his perspective on things out here and life in general.  Also he is embarking on some crazy travel after his tenure in Lisanti Land so he can keep us posted on his where abouts.

Kooky’s Korner will run every Friday.  This is his introduction to it and you can expect the first edition this Friday.  Enjoy. – Lisanti

Here I find myself sitting on the loveseat I slept on last night, staring at a cat that is either losing its mind or dying, and perhaps both. What a way to spend your twenty third birthday. Just kidding. I surfed this morning and will be going out tonight. For my birthday my roommate Nick gave me a free pass to Whiskey a Gogo in LA and a porn dvd he found behind the TV; don’t ask me what he was doing back there. You can check the surf logs for what the waves have been like. I did score one good Pitas session which is not featured in the log: a lot of pgcb and a few good barrels. I also coached my first practice test for the UCSB crew team.

Depending on what work looks like that may be a regular thing for me. Right now I am on the hunt for a job and would like to start restocking the bank account and saving up for New Zealand.  I plan on filling everyone in from time to time with what is happening with my travels and any funny stories, rants, or ideas I have. Basically this will be a mix between me keeping people up to date with what is happening with me and a supplement to Chris’s writings, which may be slow due to winter swells and his overall busy schedule. Feel free to submit topics for me to write and if I deem your blog worthy of writing, your prize might be me sleeping on your coach.

Use your imagination even thought it has nothing to do with Kooky…or does it?

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