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Skewed Proportions: SF Night One

Posted in Life, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , , , , , on May 23, 2011| 4 Comments »

Running away from your problems never really solves anything.  Originally when I conceived this trip over a month ago the premise was for me to go celebrate my old surf shop minion turned good friend’s John Mauriello’s recent graduation from design school.  The kid earned BA for industrial design, that shit is pretty hard. I have seen John’s work and its super tight.  I would say the dude is borderline genius.

I’m really proud of him. I wanted to come up for his graduation and subsequent gallery show, but unfortunately it coincided with my final exam schedule at culinary school. The plan was set for me to travel there for a few days after finals and just run wild all over the city.  I had not been up to San Francisco since I was a little kid and my recollection was hazy at best.  I was looking forward to quite an adventure.

Then my relationship with Adrienne fell apart and going to San Francisco took on a whole new meaning for me.  It became an escape even if for a short while.  At the very least I can leave the bulk of my pain behind.  That did not really happen, but its all good cause the adventuring has already started.

The drive up was rather uneventful although breathtaking nonetheless. I always forget how beautiful open space is.  I ended up stopping at some random highway side vineyard in Paso Robles for a tasting.  I tasted about seven wines for free and then bought a 2008 vintage of a so so Cabernet Sauvignon for $5 bucks that I guess they were trying to move.  For the money they bottle was more then worth it.

I got into town around sevenish and completely got off at the wrong exit getting lost in the city.  It was chill though cause I got to take in some of the scenery.  San Francisco is a big city.  The lay out is crazy with really steep hills, electric buses and trolley cars running all over the place. I was full of awe.  Luckily John was able to talk me through the chaos back to his apartment.

I must say the kid lives in a really nice place with a chill ass room.  He was even able to return the kindness I showed him over the summer with my very own ghetto futon couch to sleep on.  He already had the night all planned out.  Apparently there was this club Matrix that goes off on a Sunday.

We cruised down there by bus and besides some slice bread with almond butter and sugar cookies we really had not eaten anything.  Luckily for us the bus dropped us right in front of a KFC.  As we walked in a group walking out said they were closed.  I look at the lady behind the counter and asked if she had any garbage she could feed us.  She ended up filling a bag up with old potato wedges and some popcorn chicken that were definitely time and temperature abused.

When I reached in my pocket to pay for it the lady behind the counter was like no charge.  I threw her a $5 tip for the effort.  I was fucking starving and housed that shit.  From there it was off to the club, but we were coming down from our wine buzz rather quickly. Thank god for a corner liquor store/frozen yogurt place (I know what a ridiculous combination) and mini shots.  I love those tiny airplane bottles they are so much fun.

This particular joint had Patron mini-shots so it was on.  We got to the club and the bouncer forced us to wait outside for like over 30 minutes claiming a bad ratio, meanwhile letting in packs of other guys, whom were not nearly as well dressed and definitely not helping the ratio out at all.  Maybe it was John’s asshole face that kept us from being garnished with immediate entry.

Finally these two random chicks grabbed us off the street and were going to let us walk in with them and yet still the douche bag bouncers would not let us in and made the girls wait with us also.  It was ridiculous and some real heinous political bullshit if you ask me.  That pretty much set a negative tone for the rest of my night.

When I finally got in, the place was a tiny little spot with a 7 guys to one girl ratio and out of that I think there were maybe a dozen unattached.  Of that population maybe four worthwhile of any effort.  Santa Barbara and its high concentration of beautiful women and over abundance of them really skews a person’s out look on things.  Whatever, I got a free drink off some friend of John’s and spent the rest of the night attempting to break it down on the dance floor despite the fact that the DJ was the worst I have ever had the anguish to listen to.

After maybe two hours of that we cruised out of there.  John’s friend gave us a ride home and took us across the Golden Gate Bridge since I had not been across it.  It seemed a lot smaller then I would have expected.  It was still really cool and then when we got to the other side we parked for a minute and got to over look the entire city skyline.  That was in my opinion the best moment of the entire evening.  I have not really seen a city skyline since I went home for Christmas and had forgotten just how extraordinary the accomplishments of man can be.   Moral of the story: if you’re ever in San Francisco don’t waste your time on the club Matrix.

Patron shots at the bus stop.

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One Last Perfect Day

Posted in Coffee Table Saga, Dating, Deep Thoughts, Life, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 20, 2011| 12 Comments »

Adrienne and I finally decided to take a break apart from each other.  I know it’s for the best right now, but still it’s hard for me to not wish things could not have turned out better.  I tried to keep us together for as long as I could as hard as I could.  She was not ready to try and may never be able to.  I think now the only chance we have of ever reuniting is some time apart.

“If you love something set it free and if it comes back to you it was meant to be” is how the saying goes I trust.  If you’re lost revisit Bowing Out and Once Upon A Mattress for more details.  It looks like from here on forward you will be reading about independent single Lisanti.  Don’t get your hopes up for drunken tales and sexual escapades.  I don’t find pride in those stories anymore.  Before I close the Adrienne chapter of my life I would like to tell one last story about us, our last fun day.

This past weekend I took Ades up to Santa Barbara Wine Country.  Springtime is beautiful up there.  Everything is still green and luscious before browning out during the summer heat and drought.  I had been up there many times thanks to countless Jalama and Surf Beach missions that had went awry leaving me extra time to go poking around.  Adrienne had never been.  I knew my days with her were very limited and that if I did not act now I may not have ever had the opportunity to share one of my favorite places in California with her.  There are so many other places all over the world I wish I could have had the privilege to show her.

As an extra incentive to go I knew many of the 2010 vintages were beginning to be introduced to the tasting rooms.  I planned the whole trip out to go to two vineyards and do some valley adventuring.  Our first stop was Beckmen Vineyards in Los Olivios my current favorite estate wine producer in Santa Barbara County.  They grow mostly Rhone varietals (grapes that are grown in the Rhone Valley of France, Syrah, Grenache, etc), which are currently some of my favorites.  Syrah is considered one of the grapes that grow best in Santa Barbara.

Ades is the one who actually turned me on to Beckmen, buying one their earlier vintage Red Rhone blends earlier in the year.  It was one of the better wines I have had the privilege to drink.  Out of all the vineyards up there they were the must stop.  We get up there and it is just a beautiful vineyard with all the different varieties neatly trellised.  The grounds were nicely gardened with a little lake and rose garden.  There is nothing more aesthetically pleasing to me then a well kept vineyard.  Staring out at acres of pristine rows of vines is surreal.

We go into the tasting room and luckily just missed one of those large wine tasting buses thus had the sommelier all to ourselves.  They had a six bottle tasting for ten bucks and the guy threw in a tasting of the new 2010 Rose for free.  Adrienne is more of a red fan then a white, and I don’t really have a preference.  The 2010 Sauvignon Blanc was quite exquisite.  I ended up buying a bottle.  They did a Rhone white blend (Marsanne, Roussanne, Grenache Blanc) called Le Bec Blanc that just blew me away.  I bought a bottle of that too.

Then we tasted the Rose, which I found to be quite refreshing, Adrienne was not a fan.  Too sweet for her I think.  We tasted their red Rhone blend Cuvee Le Bec, but it was the same vintage Ades had bought that one time so it was not really special to me.  Finally we tasted their Syrah.  Usually when you buy a bottle they comp the tasting.  I bought two and the dude still charged me for the tasting.

Ades said it was because I was not nice enough to the guy, but the dude kept talking about how he was sick and was coughing all over the wine the entire time.  How nice could I possibly be?  Also I did not really care much for him.  Some people just rub me the wrong way.  I think it was something about his face.

After the tasting we cruised around the vineyard a bit.  I love to walk amongst the grapes, feel the dirt between my fingers.  Just imagine how it will look when I come back for another visit for harvest season in the fall.  If I ever strike it rich someday maybe I will get myself a vineyard and grow my own Rhone varietals.  I can be a Rhone Ranger.

Whenever tasting its good to take a break to give the body a chance to absorb the alcohol.  After all if you get too sloshed then you really do not taste objectively.  My absolute favorite spot in the Santa Ynez Valley is this little park called Nojoqui Falls.  Its this 60 foot limestone water fall that is more like a water slide then a fall thanks to years of limestone being deposited at the base of the falls.  It almost does the opposite of most waterfalls.

Instead of eroding the base, all the rich sediment builds it up.  It makes for a very breath taking sight.  There is all this great moss growing on the limestone and the water bubbles down like chandeliers of foam to a shallow crystal clear pool below.  Brennan and I came a across this gem two summers ago when we were doing our 101 Santa Barbara activities. I love it there and make a trip to it whenever I have some spare time.  I had wanted to take Ades there for months but never made the time.  It’s funny how I always wait till things are over to do something amazing.

After the falls I wanted to get over to Ostrich Land, this crazy ostrich and emu farm in between Solvang and Lompoc.  For $5 you get a pail of food and are let lose in the bird pen to feed these monstrous prehistoric angry birds at your own risk of course.  I have been here many times.  It’s a must stop whenever I go up north with someone new.  The place is like a petting zoo gone sadistic.  It’s a shit show that you have to experience to fully understand.  We both managed to survive the endeavor with all our extremities in tact.

They even had a handful of baby Emus that you could hand feed.  I was super pumped on them.  I wanted to buy some ostrich meat to cook up since I just recently found out in one of my classes that it is good eating. Unfortunately it turns out the meat has become super popular and is near impossible to get at the moment and they don’t slaughter the birds at Ostrich Land, a fact I always thought the opposite. Turns out the place is just for fun and not for food.

From Ostrich Land it was on to our next tasting.  Apparently most tasting rooms close at four and there were a few that closed at five.  We managed to luck upon a vineyard a few miles from Ostrich Land that was still tasting called Dierberrg, Star Lane and Three Saints.  Those were the three wine labels that are produced there and it was an estate vineyard as well (estate vineyard means all steps in the wine making process happens right at that vineyard).  We made the last pouring of the day and the sommelier was super chill and actually poured us a very generous tasting of each bottle.  Their pinot noir was very splendid and so was the syrah. I was rather happy with all of the wines poured.

Unfortunately I kicked my budget at Beckmen and the bottles here were a bit too pricey for me to buy one.  I offered to pay for the tasting and sommelier said it was free.  Well then I had to buy a bottle.  I was going to get the Sauvignon Blanc cause it was only $18, but then she pulled out these other wines called Three Saints that are their “table Wines”.  I bought a bottle of Syrah for $12.

Their vineyard unlike Beckmen was huge, too large to walk around.  As a last stop with the slowly waning sun I took Adrienne to surf beach over on Vandenberg Air Force Base.  Surf Beach is one of the eeriest places I have ever surfed and with the recent shark attack I have not made if back since last summer.  We got there and it was actually a beautiful afternoon.  The beach was closed by the military being that it was passed 6pm (surf beach is only open from 8am-6pm daily), but we could still mill around the parking lot.  Between the missile silos, strange non descript huge government buildings and the vast emptiness of the churned up sea it was a breathtaking site.

Ades did not think it was all that eerie, but of course she wouldn’t.  She likes creepy places.  We muddled around the area for about an hour or so.  I tried to do flips off this concrete pillar to no avail, although I did not break my neck so one may consider that a success.  I think it was some of the most fun we had together in a while and deep down thought we had a glimmer of hope.

I wanted to get dinner at this famous restaurant called the Hitching Post, but being it was Saturday and around sevenish there was like a two hour wait.  Im not about to wait two hours for any food.  I don’t care how good it is. We cruised into Solvang this tourist trap built to look like a traditional Danish village.  There were less choices then I would have expected considering the nature of the town.

We ended up settling for some Danish themed diner call the Little Mermaid Restaurant.  The food was plentiful, cheap and from what I could tell from a quick glimpse in the kitchen mostly heated up out of a can.  The dinning experience was great with a bus girl who for whatever reason kept her purse on her at all times thus accidentally clocking me in the head with it every time she took my plate.  It was a classic dingy Jersey diner with a Danish theme .  We ordered beer to go with the meal, after all that type of food is made to pair with beer.  Then Billy Jean came on the radio and I decided to get up a bust out a move or two.

It was a most splendid day.  Our last day together, maybe forever?  Only time will tell.  The situation is out of my hands now.  I have done and endured all any human heart could for another person.  I can’t force her to love me; she has to figure that out on her own.  Sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder and I can only hope that after a period of time she will realize that she does still love me but has just hardened her heart towards me for the moment.

As for me I need to hang up my hat and walk off into the sunset gracefully alone.  She moves out June 1st and it’s going to be difficult but I cannot be the one to initiate contact between us.  If she wants to try again she knows how to find me.  For now I have to put my feelings for her aside and move on with my life.

A lot of good has come out of this.  I learned tons about myself and have went through a complete transformation as a person.  I think I have finally learned what it means to be human.  I wish Adrienne the very best in life and hope she finds the happiness I was unable to provide for her.

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Never Look a Free Soda in the Mouth

Posted in Life, tagged , , , , , , , , on May 15, 2011| 3 Comments »

Things have been pretty heavy here on SurfingRuinedMyLife.net as of lately.  Such is life, such is life my friends.  As an appreciation for reading my sad babble of despair and heart ache I though I would reward you with a short funny tale that happened to me this past December while visiting my parents in Florida.  I had been shelving the thing for a special occasion and now I figure is as good a time as any.

In life an advantageous person can find a way to benefit from almost any situation.  This is the story of how thanks to a random act of child abuse I managed to score a free soda on a very hot day.  Whenever I go visit my parents they always have all these fun little activities that we can all do together.  Apparently in South Florida back in the early 1900’s a commune of Japanese farmers bought a large plot of land and set up a Japanese work farm that lasted about thirty years before ultimately like most other communes failing.  One of the guys of the group stuck with it and made a small fortune working the land.

In his will he donated all his land to the county to be turned into a Japanese cultural center of sorts.  Today there is a beautiful collection of different types of Japanese gardens, a heritage museum, a bonsai tree exhibit and much more.  The place is amazing. Its called the  Morikami Gardens and is a must visit if your in the area. Check them out here: http://www.morikami.org.

I was wandering around this incredible place rather awestruck when nature called.  I went looking for a bathroom and as I was approaching it I heard yelling.  Then I see this Asian lady screaming at this little girl after which she proceeded to give the kid a few good whacks on the rump.  Then she pulled a can of orange soda out of the kid’s hand and threw it in the trash all angry.

Initially I was taken back by the whole incident.  Then again who am I to interfere with a persons parenting technique.  I mean its not like she was inflicting real injury on the kid.  Besides I took a few lickings when I got out of line as a kid and it helped make me tough.  Obviously if the mother was inflicting injury upon the girl I would have stepped up and put her down, but that was not what I observed to be the case.   Plus I was really thirsty and the water fountain or dispensers of transmittable diseases as I like to call them was questionable at best.

My inference on the scenario was that the mother put her money in the machine and the little kid pushed the button for orange soda with out having permission to do so thus bringing the onslaught of public child abuse I inadvertently witnessed.  Now I have a pretty good ear when it comes to caned liquids and the sound of that can hitting that garbage pail seemed like it was probably unopened.   As soon as mommy dearest and darling daughter were on their not so merry way I took the opportunity to peer into the trash.

Sure enough that can was full.  I gave a quick look around to make sure no one was watching and then reached in and pulled the can out.  I took it to the bathroom, gave it a wash and whamoo! One free can of orange soda for yours truly.  The funny thing is I was really thirsty too.  That my friends is how I benefited from great techniques in poor parenting.

It was Fanta too!!! They make the best orange soda.

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A Big Day

Posted in Dating, Deep Thoughts, Life, tagged on April 30, 2011| 2 Comments »

Today is the culmination of one of the hardest set of days and emotional turn oil I have ever had to go through in my entire life.  For the past two weeks I have been in a constant state of limbo unsure of my future.  There were laughs, although mostly cries.  The occasional fit of anger, a therapeutical surf or two and two nights of good old fashioned depression drinking (thank you Steve “oh we will only go out for one beer….Hey this next game is for shots!”)  Whatever the different coping methods involved I got through it.

I dont think I would have made it had it not been for some many amazing people in my life, both new and old.  Its funny they always say you find out who your real friends are in your darkest hour.  As it turns out there more genuine friends around me these days then ever before in my life.  People whom I did not even like very much got behind me and gave me a shoulder to cry on.  I met a group of absolute strangers who stayed with me all night, cheered me up and then invited me to their lavish party the next day.

At said party I met tons of other great people.  I spent some time with my college neighbors next store whom I had kind of always written off as a pack of immature bros.  They ended up being alright guys too.  Here on SurfingRuinedMylife.net you have all been exceptionally supportive and for that I thank you from bottom of my heart.  The first night of my agony I felt so alone in the world.  Now I think very much otherwise.

I feel stronger then ever and Im ready to face the challenge set before in 16 hours.  I dont know what outcome is going to be.  What I do know is that I am prepared for whatever the circumstance.  I feel I have handled the whole situation in the most adult and moral standing a man in my place could possibly accomplish.  I was Adam Bede, Howard Roark and maybe even a touch of Darcy.

Now all I can do is wait and see and pray for the strength to “keep on keeping on”.  One thing I will promise is that no matter what happens over the next 24 hours I am going to take the high road from here on in.  Keep me in your thoughts and prayers tonight and send out those positive vibes, because my friends no matter what, tomorrow is another day.

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The Best is Yet to Come…

Posted in Life, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , on April 25, 2011| 4 Comments »

To quote the famous Frank Sinatra tune.  There has not been much to read up here in the past few weeks and all I can is that I apologize for that.  April has been a bit of a tough month for me.  It has also been a month of affirmation for me as well.  Of course nothing worth doing is easy and Lisanti Land has been turned upside down.  You can read “The House of Lisanti is in Disarray” blog for more details on that.  “Before enlightenment chop wood carry water, after enlightenment chop wood carry water”.

I still have no resolution on that situation yet, but I will know in the coming days.  I dont really have any say in the matter and my fate is in the hands of another.  All I can do is stay positive and pray to a higher power to give me the strength to face whatever the outcome is in a positive manner.  To have the patience, the guidance and will to do the right thing no matter how painful for me.

I know things have been very ambiguous here on my situation and once again I am sorry for that.  I think I share a lot of personal information here to the public on a regular basis.  So maybe you can cut me just little bit of slack this time around.  I promise though once I have a grasp on things I will tell you the whole story.  It’s a long one and probably rivals the “How Surfing Ruined My Life” series which is what gave me the idea for this website in the first place.  It will be more of a sequel.  Trust me its a great tale and I think worth waiting for.

Next Im going to start posting again here regularly.  There will be Recipe D’Jours, Groovin’ High, UCB (I will have two bonus ones to make up for the two missed).  Im about to finish work in ten days so maybe I will get some time to work on the coffee table!   I also want to add product reviews of things I come across in my daily  life, the book club will still be going strong and I plan to post a reading list too.  I am going to repost the New Zealand Chronicles from Myspace.com with my own hindsight notes on them.

Finally I want to take this blog into a more positive light.  I know we have heaps of fun being derogatory and politically incorrect, over sexual and sometimes just plain low brow asinine bull shit.  Im not saying all of that is going to stop, but it is no longer going to be the cornerstone of surfingruinedmylife.net.  There you have it a new direction for a new Chris Lisanti.  Thanks for being a part of the blog and I promise to do my best to give you the best entertainment for your brain I possibly can.   The price of admission is free.

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The House of Lisanti is in Disarray

Posted in Life, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , on April 19, 2011| 4 Comments »

By now you have noticed there have not been any new blogs here or even surflog updates since Friday.  I would like to just plain blame it on laziness as usual, but that unfortunately is not the case.  Actually in a round about way laziness did help to cause my woes.  And as always surfing did help too.  I did not pull the name of this website out of hat people.  My mind is rather cloudy right now and emotionally Im hurting pretty bad.

Im caught in a rather ambiguous situation at the moment the result of which either way will mean a major life style change for yours truly.  Im not going to get into any details at the moment because like I said things are up in the air for the time being and I just need to stay positive and keep on keeping on.  All I can say is that your support and understanding in the matter of not having as much SurfingRuinedMyLife.net entertainment will be greatly appreciated.

I had this wonderful garden that I grew and enjoyed the fruits of for a long time.  Then I got really busy in my life and began to neglect this amazing garden of mine.  Except I did not  neglect it in the sense that I left it alone entirely.  Instead I kept picking all the fruit and vegetables, selfishly enjoying the yield without the toil.  With that kind of care it is not long before your garden begins to wither and die.

Being the oblivious bone head I normally am I came onto the problem a bit late.  Now Im putting 100% of my efforts into saving may garden, which I believe or hope still has some life in it yet and can be nourished back to its once beautiful self with lusciously flowing branches, crisp green leaves and the ripest vegetables in existence.  I think if I can save my garden it will be all the stronger from here on out and I know I for one will never let it get to the state of disrepair I have.  Im watering and trimming and toiling all with the aspirations of having back what once was and more.  At this point all I can do is wait and see.

Whatever the outcome one thing I can say for sure is that it has been a refreshingly humbling experience.  Despite how I portray my character Chris Lisanti is always in need of improvement.  Sometimes I improve very rapidly then all of a sudden regress.  Maybe that is natural for humans, I dont know.  This whole scenario has allowed me to do a ton of thinking about who I am, who I was and who eventually I want to be.  I know I have wrote all this before, but I really do want to be a great man, an honorable man.  I want to be looked up to for my good deeds and actions and not because I did a big air or got a deep barrel.  I dont want to be the man because I can chug a 40 oz and then wake up in a puddle of my own vomit in the morning.  Lastly I dont want to be recognized by the number of women I have had sex with.

So thats all I have to leave you with for now.  I promise as soon as my life has some concrete answers about which direction I am to head in you will be the first to know.  One thing I will promise is either way, however painful the reality may be I will persevere and  when all is said and done reinvent just the kind of person Chris Lisanti is.

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Pipe Calamity

Posted in Anger, Life, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , , , , , , , , on April 15, 2011| 2 Comments »

It was three pm when I found myself hopelessly up to my ankles in soapy shit water from my neighbor upstairs and virtually up the creak with out a paddle.  As I sat there trying to bail the water out with a cracked basin all I could think was man not again.  Talk about history repeating itself when I was in a similar position just over a year ago.  How did this happen?

On Wednesday night the water was draining in my kitchen sink very slowly.  On further inspection the bathroom sinks were all backed up as well.   Common sense recites that there must be a clog in the line.  Thursday morning I get home from class  at 9am and both bathroom sinks and kitchen sink were full of dirty refuse.  I busted out my amateur plumbing skills, took off the grease trap under the sink and let the water out.  Then after checking the obvious areas a clog could form I got out my snake and began feeding it down the pipes.  I have a 1/2″ manual 25′ long snake.  I got it three quarters of the way down the pipes and still no sign of the snag.

All the while my hands are black in sewage and the problem not rectified.   After watching some videos and reading up on the topic of unclogging drains I get the hair brained idea that I should go out and get my hands on a snake I can attach to my drill making feeding down the pipes easier.  The internet is an amazing source of information and a great tool, but a little knowledge in the wrongs hand can be a very dangerous thing.  This was exactly the case for me.

Leaving my kitchen sink in pieces I ran out to the hardware store to buy this stupid contraption thinking the whole time how smart I was.  Thirty bucks later I got home, snake and drill in hand.  As I was attaching the two together I heard the noise of a shower.  My upstairs neighbor had just got home from work and jumped in the shower.  Initially I thought nothing of this.  Five minutes later a heap of disgusting second hand shower water started pouring out of my piping all over my kitchen floor.

I thought I was in a bad episode of “I Love Lucy” or something as I attempted to catch the water in an oversized cereal bowl and dump it into a twenty gallon bucket.  Meanwhile the whole time attempting to keep my two cats from drinking the dirty water.  Then I grabbed this old basin that had been sitting outside my apartment for an undisclosed amount of time and ingeniously put it under the pipe to catch the water while I began to run the snake down the pipe.

While in the process of this I noticed my feet wet. Turns out that basin had a huge crack in the bottom allowing the water to escape as fast as it filled.  It was at that point where I admitted defeat.  My hands were  black as night, my clothes covered in dirt and shit water.  I put the sink back together and called the building maintenance department.  They showed up about half an hour later, took one look at my beaten dirty self, laughed told me I should have called them in the first place and busted out an industrial snake.  The clog ended up being 45 feet down the line meaning there was no way I was ever going to get to it anyway.

End result I wasted the entire day on a Don Quixote dragon slaying, neglecting a full schedule of ding repair and plenty of homework to finish.  When the fiasco was finally competed and I gave the place and myself a sound cleaning (I still feel dirty as all hell and the amount of bacteria that most likely found its way into my body through the many open cuts on my hands is too alarming to think about.  What I can say is that my hands have been a bit on the swollen side since.  If I die from some crazy bacterial infection you will know why).  All said and done I figured there was no better way to wash off the hassle of the day then a good surf, but as I was headed for the door I got a phone call from my boss over at Westmont.  He wanted me to come in to work the night shift.

Thats eight hours of time and half baby, God bless overtime.  How could I say no?  I would have to be a fool.  I traded a shitty grovel session at Mesa Lane for some Benjamins in my pocket.  Car payments are not getting any cheaper and I got a phone call from my landlord today claiming they wanted to charge me for the plumbing work.  I attempted to explain about the shared line with my neighbors and therefore it could not be traced back to me personally.  This point may or may not have registered.  Only time will tell my friends.  Either way Im sure it will make a fun filled blog.

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Where Have All the Blogs Gone?

Posted in Life, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , , on February 16, 2011| 2 Comments »

By now you have most likely noticed that the number of blogs I have written per week has steadily dropped.  For that I am sorry.  Let me assure it is not because I have lost interest.  On the contrary.  The fact is my life is very busy right now, leaving me very little time to do much of anything.  Between work, school, helping out at J7 and surfing I have a full plate on my hands.  I cant remember the last time in my life I was this bogged down with shit.

It has gotten so bad I only can fit in around 8-10 hours of surf time a week.  Check the surf log in you dont believe me.  I work five days a week eight hours a day and then have school and J7 duties on my two not really days off.  Throw in homework and at the end of the day I am fucking exhausted.  My brain is just over loaded.  I cant even collect my thoughts most of the time let alone sit down and write something worth reading (not that most of what I put down here is).

Im doing the best I can for now.  I hope you all will bear with me if I miss the occasional Recipe D’Jour blog or a UCB gets written on Saturday instead of Thursday. Or the fact that Groovin’ High has not had a new up day in so long I cant remember the last entry, not that anyone bothers to check out that one anyway.  Everyone can forget about the coffee table for at least the next three months.  All I have to say about that is the table is an eyesore and a half, has been spilled on the bare wood some many times I lost count and in all honesty is too big for my living room anyway.  Still I hope to one day finish it or smash it in a fit of frustrated rage.  Which ever the case Im sure it will make an entertaining blog.

Dont despair, The Surf Log will be updated nearly everyday, if not everyday.  I think there has only been about two days that I did not get a chance to log in a session.  As I have always said the surf log is like a miniature blog within the blog that chronicles a diary like account of my daily surf escapades however insignificant.  If you are really in Lisanti Land withdrawal I hope the surf log will help you through it.  The one thing I can promise is that the UCB will still happen weekly as long as new topics and interest flows in.

I just thought I would let everyone know what was going on with me these days and to reassure everyone (all three of you) that I have not abandoned SurfingRuinedMyLife.net.  All this aside I will do my best to write as much as is possible considering my new assiduous schedule.   Bare with me and we will let the internet good times roll.

Here is a picture of a good old fashion cock fight. I hope it will hold you over till the next blog.

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25 Again!!???!

Posted in Deep Thoughts, Life, Surfing, tagged , , , , on February 4, 2011| 6 Comments »

Today marks the 5th year in a row that I have turned 25 years old or was it 24, I cant remember anymore.  But seriously today is my 30th birthday and for the first time in my life I am not ashamed to admit to my true age.  Im proud to have lived for thirty years.  I mean that is quite an accomplishment especially for someone such as myself.  Sure Im not a fire fighter or crack whore where your life is on the line everyday but there certainly have been plenty of close calls.

If someone would have asked me at twenty if I expected to be writing a blog about me turning thirty my first response would have been “what the fuck is a blog and why would I ever want to waste my time on something as pathetic as that?” after which I would have scoffed and declared I would never make it to that old age.  I mean at twenty, thirty seems like a variable senior citizen.  Im awaiting the arrival of my AARP card in the mail any day now.

Its nice to finally not be embarrassed or feel forced to conceal my age.  Back when I was trying (in vain) to make it in the bullshit world of professional surfing anyone over the age of 25 was pretty much un-sponsor-able unless one had already made a name for oneself, which I had not.  So every years since my actual 25th birthday I turned 25 again.  Thanks to my “Portrait of Dorian Grey” like situation I could pull it off.  When I went home for Christmas I was looking at pictures of myself back in high school and then my Berklee days to see if I have been losing any hair and I noticed an alarming stigma.

I have not really aged in the last 15 years.  Yes I have grown a little bit more facial hair (mostly in my nose) and have a few stress lines on my forehead.  Besides that I look pretty much the same.  I weighted 135 lbs my junior year in high school now I fluctuate between 135-140 depending on how much I surf and eat.  I dont know what that says about me or if I made some inadvertent deal with the devil like our friend Dorian, but so far forever young.

I only wish my body would hold up just as well, unfortunately I definitely have three times more aches and pains on a daily basis then when I really was 25.  My back hurts nearly all the time, both my knees alternate on giving me shit and my neck hurts most days of the week.  In other words I have a very nice stock of ibuprofen and thank mankind for such a miracle innovation.

Besides that I feel pretty good.  My life is on a good track.  I have a decent job and am in school working towards becoming a chef.  Hopefully by the time Im 40 I can have enough money saved to get my Alpaca/Sheep/EMU farm/Vineyard in New Zealand I alaways talk about.  If I do you are all invited to come live and work on my land, Emma Wood Ranch forever.  Dont worry it wont be some hokey hippie commune or blue Nike wearing comet cult.

My surfing feels really good.  I know I had a ton of bad luck this past fall, but since then I am surfing better then ever.  A few of the older guys at Rincon have made a point to tell me how my backside attack at Rincon has finally come into its own.  I dont really know what that means per say but I would like to think it is something positive.  Hears to another year of living.  Hooray for me I managed not to get hit by a car, stabbed by a bum or mauled by a tiger or the infinite other ways to die.  Let me be the first to say Happy Birthday to myself (or the last considering it is 11pm).

Hooooooorahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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The Impromptu Picnic

Posted in Life, Surfing, Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2011| 7 Comments »

Your never know what you may stumble upon in the great outdoors.

 

Today I experienced a most unexpected delightful, yet strange afternoon.  3:30 finally came closing out a rather hectic day of nothing working out as it should.  First someone accidentally turned off the oven containing the bulk of my roasted vegetables, a catastrophe I discovered at 10:45am when I checked on them to make sure they were not going to burn up.  Now roasted vegetables take around 25 minutes to cook and I needed them for an 11:15 service.  Luckily I had one axillary pan in a separate oven and it was just enough to get me started.

Then my mashed potatoes came out a little too dry from my liking and a bit on the bland side since we were all out of fresh garlic.  How does a professional kitchen run out of fresh garlic?!!!!?  Finally someone must have bumped into my rotisserie oven and mistakenly turned off one of the motors thus keeping an entire side (four racks containing 50 lbs of turkey) from turning.  One side was completely charred.  I made out like a bandit in this case also because after cutting off the burnt side the rest was still usable and actually still quite tender all things considered.  My meal was serve able and as it turns out was completely eaten.

If all that was not enough my boss thought it would be best utilize my skills for cleaning the entire kitchen for the last two hours of work.  Needless to say when that clock striked 3:3o I was more then jubilant to get the fuck out of there.  After missing a surf yesterday (see surflog for details) I was chomping at the bit to get some water time so it was off to Rincon.  I knew the swell was down from the previous days, but I had hopes I could find something to surf.  Unfortunately for me as I passed Santa Claus I noticed a serious lack of waves, strong onshore wind and a -2 low tide.  That being the case there was not going to be many places to surf besides either Rincon or Cstreet and since Santa Claus is a Rincon indicator I immediately lost my enthusiasm.

I cruised to the Con just the same and strolled down the trail to see if there were any grovel able waves.  It was super small maybe knee to waist high, but clean and long lines, plus there was only three guys on it.  Still not decided I began to bumble my way up the the top of the point to see what was coming in up at both Indicator and River Mouth.  About mid way up the point I noticed this gathering of people chilling on the rocks just about adjacent to where one would line up to surf proper cove.

As Im approaching this ensemble I hear one of them say “lets ask the chef’s opinion”.  Immediately proceeding the hollering of  the word chef in my direction.  At first forgetting that I was still wearing my coat and work uniform I did not realize it was myself to whom they were addressing.  I meandered my way over to them and saw they had quite the quaint little spread going on.  This gang of out door enthusiasts had a splendid little picnic going on right in the midst of one of the best right hand point breaks in the world on a day off.

They had the most adorable little round coffee table made from roth iron with a little removable bamboo wood finished round top.  On the table they had a loaf of olive bread, a giant bowl of guacamole, an opened bottle of Chenin Blanc, a silver decorative platter with these roasted tomatoes with mozzarella balls and basil on it and next to that another large silver decorative bowl with a mix greens chicken salad.  Under the table was a copper ice chest filled with a type of fruit salad dessert and another two bottles of wine.  Like I said it was a real classy set up.

I walk over there and the first thing they ask is if I would like to join them, sample their foods and give my “professional” critique.  Little did they know that Im hardly a chef being nothing more then a lowly bulk food line cook, but I can play any role and since I will be a chef in a few years figured a white lie could not hurt anyone.  I sat down and enjoyed a gourmet afternoon snack with interesting strangers at Rincon while debating on whether or not to paddle.

I ended up hanging out for a half an hour enjoying wine and food and getting to know my benefactors.  There was this older English guy totally grey with a Sean Connery beard (maybe he was Sean Connery Im always in such I fog I would not know the difference anyway).  He was wearing a super nice grey with black poke-dote smoking jacket, nice slacks and loafers.  Totally rich man casual.  To his right was this older couple in their fifties who brought the food and owned an avocado farm in Carpinteria  thus explaining the big bowl of guacamole.  On their right were these two twenty something lesbians from San Fransisco (no surprise there) both of which were quite hot.  Sitting next to them was another older guy who owned an antique shop in Carp and next to him was this crazy old hippie woman wearing a tunic.

Sean Connery had an interesting group of friends and as it turns out lived in one of the houses right there in the Rincon Point exclusive community.  I must say the food and company was most refreshing.  I had a great time.  While I was sitting there I noticed a few really good sets in the close to chest high range come in and peel down the point now with only one other guy out.  Derek Hynd on his crazy fin less board he has been riding at the Con the past week and his lady friend were just exiting the water.  He kills those crazy fin less boards.  You would not believe the speed he gets out of them until you see it in person.  What would you expect from a surf icon of his esteem.

If it was good enough for Derek it was good enough for me (Im just glad he was not with Jack Johnson like he was the night Slater was out.  I hate Jack Johnson.  See The Champ has returned blog for more details).  I suited up and paddled out.  I ended up getting tons of great waves and few classic larrels as well as two legit barrels.  I had a ball.  There was a picturesque sunset. I stuck a perfect two foot out nose pick air reverse and met a chill guy named Donovan who gave me a free bar of wax before getting on his scooter and riding away sitting on his surfboard.  What a most spectacular afternoon.  It was definitely one for the books or for the blog in this case.  I dont really know why things like this always happen to me.  It could just be a right time right place coincidence, but it happens so often that I have to think there is more to it then that.

Sean Connery always knows how to have a good time.

One of surfing finest, Derek Hynd and his fin less wonder.

Speaking of strange things......

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