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Mt. Taranaki

When we last heard from our surf adventuring friend Kooky Kyle he was getting ready to cruise out of Raglan in search of greener pastures and new emprise in Taranaki (read about his last entry “A Change of Venue“) .   Taranaki for me was a very magical place.  It is basically one  big semi circle type peninsula that was formed by the volcano Mt Egmont or Taranaki as it is more popularly known.  As a result the entire coast line is made up of volcanic rock reef breaks with a few point and beach breaks thrown in.  The beauty of Taranaki is that the coast runs 180 degrees in direction allowing for different wind and swell directions to work with different spots leaving lots of options.  

As far as surf spots go there are upward of I would say at least 1000.  Access to some is quite easy where others involve long hikes through cow pastures, over electric fences and ample beach and rock hikes to get to.  Its usually the ones off the beaten path that allow for some of the best experiences.  I know when I was there, I went for two weeks on one occasion and then three on the other.  I surfed in total close to 50 different waves.  I mean there are lefts, rights, barrels, mellow waves, slabs, monsters,  you name it Naki has it.  The only downside is all the driving that one has to do to explore the place properly.  Gas was not cheap when I was there seven years ago.  I can only imagine what it cost a liter now.

It really reminded me of a rocky version of the Outer Banks, North Carolina as far as different coastal facings, open space and crowds.  The beautiful imagery of the place is amazing.  Before I let Kooky run away with this thing let me paint a mental picture for you while you read about his endeavors.  Imagine waking up, whipping the dew off your window and looking out over green grass and hedges.  You clean off your wind shield and head to whatever spot the current conditions seem best for.  Its all a crap shoot any where there since the weather is so erratic and changes hourly at times.   To your east is Mt Taranaki in all its ominous splendor.  

As you drive you think about how it is still an active volcano and for all you know could erupt and level the place at a moments notice.  There is snow at the top of it.  Winter is on its way easily discernible by the cold dewy  mornings.  Soon the entire mountain will be covered with snow.  You turn west at a giant boulder with the words Stent Road painted on it.  At the end of the that road is a rather fun right point break, a handful of A-frame reef breaks and a few left reef breaks as well, although Stent is the gem.  Driving the 2km it takes to get there you pass nothing but cow and sheep pastures with to odd modest little farm house.  

Nearing the end of the road you see the azure blue of the ocean, the color amplified by the black rock beach and bottom.  In the grass parking lot there are a handful of cars.  The waves are chest to head and glassy. You made a good choice.  Once in the water there are wispy clouds in constant motion overhead to remind you just how small you are out in the middle of the ocean.  Behind you is the giant volcano in hibernation and in front of you is a perfect right hand peeler about to dredge and barrel.  Things could not be better. ..Chris

Taranaki is basically a big wheel with tons of little tiny fingers of boulder reef jutting out into the ocean. No wind protection, only a change in the orientation of the coastline. Man, there are a ton of spots there not in the surf guide.  The Thursday after my last post I hopped in a rental car and booked it down there. A guy I met at solscape had a house in Opunake and said I was welcome to crash at his place if I was in the area and felt so inclined.

I took him up on the offer. The only problem was he didn’t have a cell phone and only left me his email address. It was cool though, I had met a French Opair who said I would be welcome to stay with her in New Plymouth. The plan was to stay with her and when I got in touch with the other guy to go to his place. As it turns out she was busy and couldn’t get me a place to stay.  She insisted before I left that we must meet up for tea or beers (We met up for tea). Here is the million dollar question, leave your opinion in the comments. Do you think Kooky banged her out? 5 to 1 odds that he did not.  I spent the night at a local back packers, woke up and went straight to Stent Rd.

It was super fun, a little overhead, slight offshores and never more than 7 guys in the water my whole session. Half way through, who paddles out but the guy from Raglan. He told me how to get to his place and to pick up any groceries I needed in New Plymouth. When I showed up at his place it turned out he had no kitchen,no electricity, and no hot water. It was basically camping in a makeshift back building of the house he owned and rented out.  Not quite the Lisanti Palace. It was all good, a free place to stay makes those dollars go a lot farther.

Down in the southern portion of Taranaki I had a hate session at Sky Williams. Sky Williams is a left hand reef point that looks sick from the parking lot but is one of the most frustrating waves to ride I have ever come across.  It is like Lead Better but a left.   I scored a  fun time at Arawhata (Arawhata is a right reef pass with some other scattered reef passes up and down the beach.  Its very consistent and playful although never epic), got yelled at for walking down the trail after my session at Mughume (Mughume is a right reef on the other side of Sky Williams that throws pretty hard although is very shifty) and surfed a few secret spots. The first secret spot was only a little outside of Opunake and was a lined up right reef that had a solid wall and the odd barrel. I left with a wind storm looming on the horizon.

 On my way down into Taranaki I saw a sign for a wood turning studio, needing a wedding present for my cousin I  followed the signs and went in. It turned out that the guy was coming home from work, but his wife invited me in for a ginger cordial while I waited. They were very friendly and he offered to make me a piece by tuesday and told me if I need a place to stay I was more than welcome to stay with him and his wife. After the swell faded out of Opunake I cruised on up the coast and took him up on the offer.

I killed the day by surfing and exploring the coast up in Urenui just north of New Plymouth. It was small, but this wave would hit the seacliffs at the end off the beach and bounce back out to sea. As it did, it would feel the bottom of the beach and wrap back in and break like a little right point. If another wave was coming in at the same time, it would wedge and pitch out in the form of a super square stomach to chest high barrel. It was really cool. After my surf I took a wander up the coast and found three spots that with another meter or two of swell have incredible potential, none of these are in the surf guide. Ask me in person and I will draw you the treasure map.

That night I had dinner with the wood worker and his wife.  We talked about  where I was going in life and how he had done his travels on the backpackers trail through South East Asia. We talked about his time in the military and how he would always figure out the best way out of work. He was also a coxswain when he was younger(the person who steers a crew boat and yells at everyone). As it turns out he was one of the craftsmen for the Last Samurai that was filmed in Taranaki and he even got to be in the film for a few seconds. He is pretty sure it is because he is short and wouldn’t make Tom look his real size.

After a lovely dinner and great conversation I spent the night in their guest house.  In the morning I drove all the way up to Piha, a surf spot on the West coast just outside of Auckland. A tropical system was lashing the east coast with 30 kt on shore winds and those were offshore in Piha, which was throwing out some solid left barrels.  Piha is a good wave.  It sort of breaks in the middle of this semi protected cove thing with a huge rock in the middle of the beach. It is usually rather crowded due to its proximity to the city. I managed to not kook it on two but most either went fat or I got swallowed up when I pulled in. Anyways I only have a few days left and I will update everyone on what happens when I get back to the states in a week…Kooky Kyle

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Last we checked in with Kooky Kyle he was in Raglan working and being encompassed in a flat spell.  Here is an update from the man himself.

 Hey everyone, I am not dead. Today is my final full day in Raglan, I am hiring a car tomorrow and cruising to Taranaki. The forecast is looking good so I should be getting some fun waves. Last you heard from me I was at Solscape Wwofing and sitting in a flat spell. I made myself surf the beach break pretty much every day until the flatness ended. I can tell you from personal experience the beachie he is talking about is a pretty terrible wave. 

What ended the flat spell? A head a half+ west swell lighting up all three points. The first day was wild and wooly, I surfed and Manu and spent more time paddling than I should have. I surfed a day like what he is describing out there.  It was easily double overhead and stormy as all hell.  I actually got some real bombs that day and got respect for the rest of my time there from all the locals because of it.  The second day saw the swell hit in force with big disorganized surf pouring into all three points. I surfed Whale Bay in the morning because I wasn’t up for spending my whole session paddling through the washing machine that was Indicators.

I surfed Manu Bay in the afternoon and got some workings on the Ledge.   The ledge is the heavy ass section at the top of Manu that is only really make-able when it is huge and even then it is a crap shoot.  I don’t know how Chris deals with surfing over boils on his back hand I just got my ass kicked. Mitch Coleborn was out and that guy along with some other Raglan pros were tearing the place a new asshole. Getting out I heard one of the Raglan guys say “It isn’t the best Manu, but it is the best we have had in a month.” The swell finally cleaned up on the third day and I mistakenly grabed my 5’10” thinking that the swell had dropped enough.

WRONG. Indies was still head and a half plus, offshore and crowded. I had no problem catching waves on the 5’10” but getting them off of the crowd and the drops was another story, and the short of it is I got three waves and got my ass worked for two and a half hours. By the afternoon the swell had actually dropped and I got some great waves and surfed really well considering my kooky ass. My ride had ditched me and taken my clothes back to Solscape with him, leaving me walking barefoot on some unkind twisting turning roads. It is all good though he had work to get to and the surf was worth it. This morning the swell had nearly dried up but i surfed indies again and had another great session trading off on waves with this older kiwi.

With the topic of waves out of the way, I really enjoyed my time here. Once it was discovered that I was more useful doing gardening/landscape/outdoor work, I have to say I didn’t mind working here at all and it stirred memories on working in my garden at my parent’s Maryland house. If you ever come to NZ and want to visit Raglan definitely check out Solscape. They treated Chris right and they have treated me well too. One black mark has happened here, last night there was a rash of small thefts, a wallet, Sarah’s cellphone, a set of iPod speakers were all stolen, we are all pretty sure who did it but there isn’t anyway to prove it. In a place where all the people are friendly and know each other this kind of stuff doesn’t happen but when a thief gets in, it is a field day.

Anyways, I will keep you posted when I can I am not sure what the situation will be like over the next weeks but I will try and keep in touch.—–Kooky Kyle

Manu Bay, Raglan New Zealand, firing.

Taranaki secret spot, Kooky's next destination...

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April 2011 Surf Sessions in Review

Bare with me here, I know these stats happened nearly a year ago, but I just found out while trying to compile some yearly stats that I still need to write up the stats for a few months that went by the wayside back then for obvious reasons ( you can read “Bowing Out” if your new here and missed a major incident in my life).  April is always a rough month for surfing in the 805, plagued by constant winds, transition between NW and South swell seasons and extremely cold water.   Throw in a full time job, school and a falling apart relationship and it became one of the toughest months to surf of my entire life, let alone live.  Hey here I am still kicking.  I am not sure why I am still alive, but mainly I feel my survival these days is based purely on spite.   I am not quite sure whom it is I am spiting by staying alive, but I am sure there is someone out there who may benefit from my death and for the chance just to spite that person I will fight to live no matter what.  Survival for spite that is the new campaign for 2012, forget anything else I have mention previously.  Here are the stats for April 2011.

Number of Surf Sessions: 21
Days Surfed: 21

Total Time Spent In Water: 33hrs 45mins
Total Number of Waves Surfed: 636
Average Waves Caught Per Hour: 19

Spots Surfed:
Mesa Lane: 9
Rincon: 6
Emma Wood: 3
El Capitan: 1
Hammonds: 1
New Jetty: 1

Top 3 Sessions:

3.  4/1/11 Am Session: 2-4+ft, Emma Wood
Time in Water: 1.5 hrs
Waves surfed: 25
Talk about a double up barrel fiesta out there this morning and I was not even going to go surf when I woke up this am.  The weather was so nice and since I had got a lot of work done at J7 yesterday and an alarming potential for south winds in the afternoon led me to Emma Wood.  When I pulled up it was solid chest high with overhead suck up sets.  I saw a three wave set A-frame and barrel hard both left and right with only about six guys out.  I was on it and at least ten of my waves were solid dry barrels.  Then after about 45 minutes everyone showed up making it a bit crowded, but there were like six peaks working all going both right and left making for plenty of room.  If I did not have to get dings done at J7 today I would have stayed out till the tide drained.  Im so glad Emma has finally got her groove back!

2. 4/7/11 PM Session: 1-3+ft, El Capitan
Time In Water: 3 hrs 15mins
Waves Surfed: 49
On my walk to class this morning I noticed that Lead Better had some solid chest high waves hitting the beach break and even larger sets on the point.  I got home and checked the buoys and East Santa Barbara was reading 7ft  and the wind was hard WNW, off shore for El Cap.  Still I was thinking about Rincon when my boy from work Kevin called me and was all physicked on surfing in the avro.  With a partner in crime I said lets go to El Capitan and it was on.  We got there around 4ish and it was pretty small looking.  There were only about four guys on it and occasionally a chest high wave would roll in.  Anyway there were plenty of fun looking waist high ones coming through.  Thing about El Capitan is that it is a perfect wave no matter the size so even small it was still rather inviting.  We ended up having a blast.  I dont think I have ever gotten that many waves there ever.  Renowned surf board shaper Wayne Rich paddled out with these two mini-groms and two friends of his and he paddled right up to me, introduced himself and said “Hi my name is Wayne you are too good of a surfer to grovel this hard with all the hopping around, but just so you know I am really impressed by your surfing ability”. I was like are you serious, Wayne Rich a man who has seen so many greats surf was stoked on my surfing.  He ended up getting a bunch of good ones and everyone out there was just hooting a hollering; a completely different vibe then the last time I surfed out there with Kooky.  The waves were twice as good that time but the crowd was super heavy and people were all aggro.  See March ’11 of the surf log 3/17/11 entry for more details on that session.   All I can say was that it was a most splendid day of surfing.

1. 4/2/11 PM Session: 2-3+ft, Rincon
Time In Water: 1.5 hrs
Waves Surfed: 15
Sometimes I surf really well.  I think everyone has those sessions where they feel like god out there.  I dont care what skill level your at, when you have a session where you surf to the highest potential of your personal ability it feels incredible.  I had one of these sessions at Rincon tonight.  The funny thing about it was that going into the surf I was feeling rather lackadaisical.  I had just finished repairing my favorite board which got destroyed at some epic Rincon two weeks back  (see “Bad Decisions Lead to Great Out Comes” and“Yesterday’s (3/24) Rincon Session Revisited” for the skinny on what happened there).   Jason and I pulled the tail in about an 1/8 inch from my regular template and it has really turned my performance up a notch.  I love computer design programs.  It is so easy to make those minute details come out perfect.  I think the combination of a good board, fun chest high plus glassy bowls and a light crowd aided in a fun session.  I surfed the entire point spending the first half up at River Mouth were I snagged a nice little backside tube and stuck a solid backside section air.  The next half I spent in the cove absolutely owning it. By my 15th wave I was completely exhausted.  Besides the wind got on it a bit, the crowd picked up and the tide began to make things a bit swampy.  Timing is everything in life.
 

Me at Rincon Circa Spring 2011. Life may not have been working out for me back then but at least I still had surfing.

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Where has Kooky Kyle been?  What has that crazy guy with the giant red clown fro been doing since his departure from Lisanti Land?  These are all very good questions.  Yet I am not the one the answer them.  Finally after nearly two weeks of incommunicado Kooky hit me up with a short  but sweet Kooky’s Korner.  I will not ramble on anymore cause you have that inflicted upon you here a bit too much. ..Chris

It is bizarre some trips it doesn’t set in that you are leaving until you are actually leaving. That was certainly the case here. I might have said I knew I was leaving before I left but only upon finding myself on the bus to LAX did the actual excitement set in.  The airplane ride was boring, but what does one expect of a 12 hours in an aluminum tube? (I guess Kooky did not take full advantage of the open bar.  Shit every time I fly overseas I am hammered on the plane.  Last time I went to New Zealand the flight attendant cut me off cause as she put it my drunken antics were causing distress to the other passengers.  Then I passed out in the airport at Fiji and nearly missed my connecting flight, which I would have missed had it not been the only flight leaving and their port authority would not let the plane take off unless the entire roster was accounted for.  Needless to say I ended up delaying the flight by about a half hour…Chris)I was in and out of Auckland and I really lucked into my room at the hostle, as it was the last one available. Same thing happened at Solscape this hostel in Raglan on the middle of the west coast of the north island, not to mention one of the best surf spots in the entire country.

 I slept off my jet lag on Saturday and surfed on that Sunday and Monday.  Chris’ friend Sara from back in New Jersey now currently chilling in New Zealand, Sara hooked me up with a WOFer positon. I work for two and a half hours around the resort and I get free room. It is really stretching my money. All things considered at the moment I plan on staying in Raglan until about the 25th of March and then depending on the swell forecast I might travel.  I have a few different possible hook ups, two in Taranaki, and a spot in Christchurch and Hawkesbay. So my plans are really wide open.

 Dave Rastovich was here all last week and Tom Curren played a gig in town as well.  The surf spots here are pretty good. Whale bay isn’t  a great wave, but Indicators and Manu Bay are world class.  The beach is a cross between wrightsville beach and a doubled up closeout. I made it up to Rapuke , another beach break a with a ton more exposure to swell just above Raglan, once. Ironically I ran into a  group of guys from NJ, but the tide was too drained out and it was a massive closeout.  Looks like there is a little flat spell coming with mid day low tides so hopefully I can get in up at Repuke.
 This is really all I have time for as I pay by the minute for it…Till next time Kooky Kyle.
Well there you have it folks the thrilling adventures of Kooky Kyle thus far.  Stay tuned for the final installment of my Spring Break 2012 series and this week’s  UCB.  Dont forget to submit your power of ten lists for March.  They are good for  two points.  

A look at two of the spots Kooky has been surfing. Indicators is the far point and Whale Bay is in the foreground.

 

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Well on day one Lisanti went into the Wild.  On day 3 Chris Lisanti got fucking wild at the Wild Cat.  Its only fitting that I started Day there at the Kitty.  Last night, gay night was especially gay.  I am pretty sure with the exception of my friends Mark, Adrienne (not my ex-Adrienne) and maybe a handful of other people everyone was playing for the other team.   At first I was taking things in strides. I was a little bummed about how the weekend played out getting blown off by that chick I mentioned in both the surflog and yesterday’s blog “Busy Bee, Spring Break Day 2“.

I was determined not to let the instance turn me to depression drinking.  Then boredom kicked in and around 1am with no real prospects cruising around the club Wild Cat Adrienne said “Get a shot with me”.  I am on spring break after all and have not really gotten hammered in a long time.  I’m lying I got hammered on Friday night with this UCSB graduate school chick I met.  I thought I might be able to pull her, but then she was kidnapped by her friends in the last minutes of last call and taken home to Goleta.  Goleta chicks are near impossible to bring home and visa versa.

Its a solid $30-50 cab ride, pain in the ass bus ride or long, long walk (trust me I walked it once) home for both parties.  Rule of thumb downtown: if she wants me to come home with her and it is back to Goleta I pass and when I try to bring them home to the Mesa it is usually the same effect.  Its just too far, thus the best one can hope for is digits and shoot for a follow up date.  I got her number, now I just have to decide if she was worth giving a call.

Man that got off track.  Anyway, Adrienne and I got a round of Fire Ball Shots (whiskey).  Now I don’t drink whiskey because for whatever reason whenever I do it brings out the worst drunk I can possibly be.  I get angry, emotional,  and crazy in a scary way.  Everyone who parties knows there is no such thing as doing one round of shots no matter how drunk you are.  They are addictive.  There is something about the bartender pouring your choice of poison into those little glasses and the looks on your face and those around you.  Everyone knows that you are on a one way ticket to being out of your mind.

Yeah, one round led to three, the last one taken at last call.  That my friends is the last thing I remember.  What happened after that is beyond my reasoning.  I went to black out town, population me.   This time there was no Kooky to help me put the pieces together.  Somehow I managed to get my jacket from coat check and sign out my tab.  I also managed to walk home, but barely I think.

Fast forward to 9:30am.  I woke up on the floor of my apartment directly adjacent to my front door to a text from Lindsay about if I wanted to surf or not.  I was fully dressed, jacket, shoes and all.  My pants were torn at the knee and the hip and I had a few bruises on my body.  I assume I must have fell down a few times on the walk home, but that is speculation, anything could have happened for that matter.  I checked my outbox/inbox of my phone to see if I sent or was received anything.  Apparently I sent Wild Cat Adrienne a very incoherent angry message, which I apologized for and she was cool with.  That was the only lead I had and she had no recollection of anything after that last shot either.

Whatever, I am still alive.  Since I was up I got changed and decided to go for a surf and it was a good thing I did cause Rincon was breaking.  It was tiny, waist with the occasion chest high set through the Cove, but it was flawless.  I mean oil glass and running down the Cove perfectly.  Some how despite being a bit messed up still I surfed exceptional.  I am talking a top notch backside performance anyone would be proud of.  The crowd was myself and about ten other people.  I was super stoked for the session.

From there I had just enough time to scarf down another bowl of cereal and run to class or nap time as I like to call it.  Unfortunately we had to do group activities in class cutting into my sleepy time.  It was fun and I found out about this cool jazz show that went down tonight of which I have just got back from.  On another note before I get into the show I think this will be the last semester I am going to spend in the Culinary program at Santa Barbara City College.  The program is very unimpressive to me and I just feel that I am wasting my time.

Instead if you remember back to a few blogs ago I mentioned something about how I really wanted to go cook in Italy.  That is exactly what I am going to do.   There are a few different culinary schools out there that offer intensive three month programs where I can earn a master chef certificate in Italian and European Cuisine, a stage 2 sommelier certification and a pastry and baking certificate.  Basically I will do in three months what will take me at my current rate years if ever at City College.  The last five weeks of the program I am required to cook in different restaurants all over Italy.

Who knows maybe I will even meet a nice Italian girl and bring her back with me to America.  There will be more on this in blogs to come as I figure the whole thing out.  It is about time I do something positive for me for a change.  I think a break from both the Wild Cat and Santa Barbara may be good for my health.

Back to the jazz show.  This girl in my group mentioned she was going to a jazz show at Soho, my all time favorite venue to listen to live entertainment at in Santa Barbara.  I took the stage there once myself and all I can say is that it was one of the best sound stages I have ever performed on (check out the blog “About Last Night” for more on that performance).  I asked her about the event and it turns out it was at 7:30 that evening.

I cruised and my buddy was working the door so I got in for free.  Turns out all the cats were local and they burned.   The majority of the cats on stage were so hot they had me hooting and hollering the entire time.   As it turns out they do these “Jazz Jams” as they call them every few weeks at Soho and anyone is invited to play.  The next one is April 2nd and I will guarantee that they will be joined by jazz saxophonist, Chris Lisanti.  I can’t wait to get up and blow with those guys.

I am even more stoked that it is a fairly regular thing.  Hopefully they like my stuff and invite me back to play on other occasions.  I guess I am going to have to do some heavy woodshedding over the next two weeks.  They had another saxophonist with them and he was exceptional, but in a completely different style then I play.  the group was ironically very “West Coast Cool”, where as I am definitely “Harlem Eclectic”.  West Coast Cool is a style of jazz that is more lay back and relaxed such as Wes Mongomery or Bill Evans.  Harlem Eclectic is more in your face hyper active like Sonny Rollins or John Coltrane.

That brings me to right now sitting here on my couch under my leopard blanket putting the finishing touches on this piece while Alfie lounges in felicity on my lap.  Goodnight everyone and stay tuned tomorrow for more Spring Break action.

I am sure I can find a bar just as gnarly as the Shitty Kitty in Italia.

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This is going to be short and sweet cause I really did not do anything all that exciting today.  Don’t fret I still have five more action packed days.   One thing I can say is that I actually surfed today.  I think it is the first time since like the 2nd. You can read the surflog to find out about that terrible surf.  A terrible surf is still better then no surf at all in my book.   You know what I actually surfed pretty good too and it always feels good when you surf good.

I got home, scarfed a bowl of cereal, Rice Chex with half a banana chopped up in it, ate the other half by itself.  It may sound bizarre to be so stoked on cereal but it really is one of my favorite things to eat.  I am like Jerry Seinfeld in that respect.  I once lived off cereal for all my meals back in my contest days.  I have this special bowl, I think everyone has that special bowl when it comes to eating cereal.  You know what I am talking about.  The one bowl that is the perfect portion for yours truly that fits just the right amount of milk and cereal filling right to the brim but not quite over flowing when you put the spoon in.  C’mon who ever pours themselves a half bowl of cereal?

I have this bowl that does not match any of my other dish ware.  I found it in the trash actually when I first moved here.  Adrienne tried to throw it out on me.  I have considered getting rid of it.  Heroin Nick bogarted it in his room for a few weeks.  Yet the bowl prevails now five years after I initially found it.   Its my holy grail for cereal and since it is correlle I am sure to have it for years to come.  If it breaks I may have to give up eating cereal for the process to find a new perfect bowl would be too tremendous a task.

While eating my breakfast I did my usual internet time, Surfline, FaceBook, email, Craigslist, SurfingRuinedMyLife.net, looked at a little porn.  I covered all aspects of the internet I enjoy.  From there it was house cleaning time.   Believe me my place had become quite the sty.  I decided to attack my stove top which thanks to last week’s dinner and drunken cooking had become rather gross.  I spent a solid hour on it, but now it is squeaky clean.   Cleanliness really is next to godliness.

I took a brief break from cleaning to go prune my garden.  I have been stressed the last few days from this girl whom I thought might be interested in me, but ended up shining me, blowing me off all weekend.  The least she could do is have some decency and say she did  not want to chill instead of leaving me hanging.  That is the last time I try and do something romantic for a while. I was never a flower giving guy.  In the last few years I have taken to giving flowers and each time it has just blown up in my face. I think I am going back to being a no flower guy again.

After a brief time in my garden I felt better.  There is something about plants that is so relaxing to me.  You take care of them, show them love and they bloom beautiful flowers, grow big and healthy and are aesthetically pleasing.  Their way of saying thank you for taking care of me.  If only human beings were the same way.  I am not to far off to going  into the woods some where completely recluse, Sir Gaiwan style.  That is a completely different blog altogether.

Then I went back to cleaning, where I tackled the rest of the kitchen, the bathroom which by the way was disgusting, then I Murphy oiled the new floors, polished my samurai sword, too much stabbing, finally I vacuumed the rugs and called it a day.  There is nothing like reveling in a freshly cleaned apartment.  Then I enjoyed meal three of left over vegetable lasagna from the last dinner I cooked at work on Friday night.   It came out amazing so why not.  I think it can furnish me another two meals.  Fuck if I am going to cook for a few days.  I am going to do another dinner on Thursday.  Those invitations will go out tomorrow.  If you don’t get an invite and are in Santa Barbara and care to join us feel free to hit me up here and I will invite you.  The more the merrier as far as I am concerned.

Now I am drinking a nice bottle of Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand, listening to Drake.  I downloaded like every song he ever did or was featured on the other day and am now weeding through it all.  The guy shreds, but 200 songs is a lot to go through.  I am on number 85.  Pretty soon I am going to put on this new black on pink pinstripe pants I scored at a thrift store with the tags still on it for seven bucks while the actual store tag read $120, complemented by my nice black loafers and this poked doted black on black long sleeve button down I also scored for like 12 bucks.  I love thrift stores, did I mention the shirt is Armani.  I think some idiot at the store did not bother to look at the label.  Where am I headed flashing like this on a Sunday night.  Well the Wild Cat of course.

There she is my beloved cereal bowl filled with my favorite brand of cereal. Guess what my favorite cereal to eat is for 2 extra UCB points. Put your answer in the comments.

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I thought it be poignant to fill everyone in on what has been going on in my life the last few weeks or so.  I have been really busy. There was tons of work to be done at the Palace and like any home improvement project things you think should be finished and done in no time with little effort wind up taking the most time.  I am proud to say that stage one of the gentrification of the Lisanti Palace is complete.  Stage two, the kitchen and bathroom are at the moment on hold till summer, unless of course you kind people would like send some funds my way.  Did not think so.

Stage the three, the Japanese rock garden I hope to put into action by late spring early summer.  I have always loved the peace and tranquility of such places.  I think having one right in my own back yard overlooking the ocean would really do me a lot good. Just to have a spot where I can pick up a rake and make patterns in the rocks would be amazing for my favorite past time of pondering and stewing on my life.  I would love to do a small koi pond out there as well.

As of March 1st I had the entire apartment all to myself.  Kooky shoved off to New Zealand late at night on February 29th.  For a while I had not heard anything of the kid and was getting a little bit worried.  Just the other night I got a facebook message from my friend Sara that he made it to Raglan safely and she was able to get him a job at Solscape working off his accommodation.  Now that is three jobs I have set Kooky up with through my own personal connections and the third job that I had personally done at one time.  The kid has managed to work three of the jobs I had over the last seven years in under seven months.  Now that is a true life intensive Lisanti experience.  I am sure he will send in a Kooky’s Korner on his adventures soon and I will post it here on SurfingRuinedMyLife.net.

Dave left to go home to Florida a day or two before Kooky.  He had to go back for some traffic court issue.  I have not heard from him thus not sure how things are working out.  All I know is the last I saw of him was right before I passed out from a Sunday at the Kitty and he had to catch a bus at 3:30am to LAX.  I think he drunk ate my lasagna I brought home for lunch the next day cause it was gone.  When I know more I will post more.

On one hand it is really nice to have my apartment, car and life back.  I loved all the visitors and adventures over the past eight months, but it was beginning to take a toll on me.  Having some relaxing quiet time and not worrying about catering to others is rather satisfying.  It is great to do whatever I want, whenever I want and it is really nice to always have a clean apartment and everything in the place I expect it to be.  This was not the case with lots of people constantly floating through.

On the other hand it is a bit lonely being just Alfie and I again.  Having all my friends here for an extended period of time was a very necessary evil to help me get over Adrienne, fix up the apartment and get my life back on track.  I remember back in early December crying on the phone to my mom over Adrienne, which was complete craziness since we had broken up back in May.  I did not go home for the Holiday because of it.

Thanks to everyone who came and spent sometime here with me and was kind enough, and patient enough to listen to my oblique whining and not kill me I was able to realize how pathetic I had become.  Just like that here I am now nearly self sufficient. Sure I still hurt over her on occasion, but it is not like it was before.  Now it is more like I will just get really lonely, or see something that reminded me of her or thought of something I thought she might have got a kick out of and will momentarily think “man I wish Ade’s were still here”.  Then I shake it off just as fast.

The Palace will not be empty for long.  I am happily relieved to say that I found a new roommate who will be moving in full time by the middle of the month.  His name is Dan and he seems like a really good dude.  He has a full time job, is 28 and looking for a step up in life.  I think we are both in the same place in life right now and should be a good fit.  Then again I always think that about my new roommates and then two months later find them with needles in their arms.  I really do have a good feeling about this guy.  Time will Tell.

Wednesday will be the grand re-opening of the Lisanti Palace dinner party, 8pm.  If you are in the Santa Barbara area and want to partake in the festivities hit me up.  You are more then welcome.  Just make sure you RSVP by Wednesday morning so I have a head count.  My new roommate will be here and I believe some of the usual suspects.  This will kick off the weekly dinner parties  we used to indulge in here in the fall.  How can you not enjoy an evening of good food, good wine and good people?

Work is work.  We have had a good number of staff quit meaning new family members will be coming in and old ones going out.  School is school.  Unfortunately my equanimity is waning fast as my hopes to become a “paper chef” seem more and more of an impossibility due to the fact that I would have to quit my job to conceptually finish the program.  This is one of the situations I wish I had my rock garden for to allow me more clarity of thought.  As of the moment I think I may take the fall semester off all together.

Besides that things are looking good and the future bright.  I don’t know what tomorrow will hold and at the moment that is good enough for me.  For I think I will just take things as they come.

Chris Lisanti at Emma Wood 2012

Did I mention that I am making an effort to surf more too. If your not reading the surflog on a regular basis you are missing out on the blog within the blog. Its raw. Photo:Kooky

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The first Power of Ten of the quarter and the month of February goes to Kooky Kyle, whom also earned himself one bonus point for answering the question posed in the UCB winners blog.  The champ is already off to a strong start.  At this moment he is on a bus to LA to catch a plane bound for New Zealand and the next chapter of his adventures.  Don’t worry there will be plenty of Kooky’s Korner entries written by him about his escapades in the land of the sheep.  I for one am very proud of the kid.  He also carried himself quite well last night at the strip club.

Now they are not really my cup of tea, but the guy had never been to one at 23.  I am sorry but it is a straight man’s right of passage to go to the titty bar at 18 and get a lap dance.  I think he was a bit mortified by the whole thing.  I don’t blame him.  Strip clubs are some of the lowest forms of our civilization.  Nothing says I give up like that.  The strippers have given up their personal dignity and pride and so have the customers.  I would rather buy a pretty girl a nice meal for 100 bucks then have her dance on my lap naked.  Maybe that is me just romanticizing life again.  Anyway lets get back to the power of ten cause this can of worms is a whole different blog for another time.

1.  The Barf Barrel – This could be a blog in itself and it may have been written back in the early myspace days.  When I was a junior in high school  Mac Donalds had this promotion, twenty five cent cheese burger Tuesdays or something.  My boy Odie and I on the way to an after school surf decided to stop and pick up $10 bucks worth.  That is forty burgers!  We scarfed that shit down then went up to the beach.  Turns out it was firing.  Solid 6-8ft and barrels everywhere.  We ran out there and began tearing it up.  Well it did not take long for the indigestion to set in.  By my fourth wave I as not feeling so well.  I was sitting out there in agony when this perfect left bowl came right to me.  All the boys started hooting and hollering.  I was the deepest so I had to go.  I sucked it up and paddled into the wave.  Upon dropping in I was ensconced in the pit.  It was solid, so wide I could drive my Honda Civic through it.  Half way into the ride I felt my lunch coming up with a vengeance. Sure enough I spewed right into the face of the wave.   Then I proceeded to watch the vomit go up the face and around the tube.  I basically surfed through a barrel of my own throw up.  I barfed another two times on the paddle back out and then was fine for the rest of the afternoon.  Odie lost his lunch too.  It was a pretty great session.  My buddy Jason saw the whole thing from the side while he was paddling back out.  Said he almost blew chunks as a result too.

Barf Barrel

Just Imagine seeing a streak of vomit coming over me and that would have been what the Barf Barrel looked like.

2. Surf Lingo – On the whole I find surf lingo rather ridiculous and somewhat demeaning to surfers, especially when used by non surfers who have no idea what they are  talking about.  There are some instances where surf lingo or surf speak as I like to refer to it is necessary.  That is for certain feelings, emotions and circumstances that can only happen while surfing and be experienced by a surfer.  It is for those reasons certain surf speak was created.  There were no other words in the human language to describe such.  Barrel, tube, pit, larrel, lip, mush burger, green room, slotted, etc. are all terms to describe different parts of the wave/ride.  They have meaning in the English language but none of those definitions fit their meaning in surfing.  Kook, ripper, shredder, sweeper, sponger, wahine, loc, heavy, punk etc.  are all terms that describe different types of  surfers and abilities. What I am saying is I am fine with surf lingo when used among surfers, but outside of our sub culture I find it brass and idiotic.  When the non-surfing use it I just feel insulted and outraged.  If I have to explain it you won’t understand anyway.

3. Worst Surf Trip  – Santa Barbara is the worst surf trip that I have ever took cause I have been stuck on it for the last five years.  Just kidding.  Truthfully I really can’t think of a bad surf trip.  Even the ones where the waves were awful I still managed to surf my brains out and have a great time.  A few years back I probably would have had a whole list for you.  These days as I look back over all my travels I am grateful for every single one.  Traveling is one of the most amazing things a person can do.  It is an amazing world out there with endless possibilities.  If surfing is the outlet one must use to get out there and see what there is to see then good on ya.  I know if I was not a surfer I most likely would not have went to half the places I have been.  These days most of the trips I take are non surfing trips and so are many of the ones I hope to some day take on.  I really want to go to Italy for a few months, back to my native country and see all the sights, eat the food, maybe even cook the food.  I want to see Stonehenge.  Bottom line there is no such thing as a bad trip except for the ones not taken.

4.  Vagrancy – I guess at one time I was classified as a vagrant and have definitely put up my share of them here in Lisanti Land.  I believe everyone ought to have a period of his/her life spent as a vagabond living by the seat of their pants, traveling from place to place on a wing and prayer with no destination in mind.  I did it for years and it was amazing.  At some point life catches up to you and then you to make a decision.  Believe me I have plenty of friends who were all former vagrants now living very stable lives.  Heck I am one of them.  Shit I just put 2gs into my apartment.  If that is not stable I don’t know what is.  Career vagrants and I do not get along.  I hate bums.  Quite frankly there are way to many of them here in the city of Santa Barbara.  I have a good mind to go sit down with the mayor ask her to deputize me, give me a van, a clan of Pinkertons and let me clean up the town.  No questions asked.  That is a whole different blog entirely.

These guys need to go. I pay too much money to live in this town to put up with their shit.

5. Garbage Can Books – I find more great books in the garbage then I buy.  Its rather alarming to me as a writer myself.  Here I am working on a master piece of a novel that I know is most likely to be thrown in the trash.  Its probably a terrible work, but my delusional ass likes to think it is good.  The other day I picked The Portrait of Dorian Grey, The Canterbury Tales, Tess of the d’urbervilles among other great titles from a trash pail.  It was shocking.   Books are all we have as a civilization.  You know what made us “civilized” and I use that term lightly considering my thoughts and beliefs on the human race, reading and writing.  If you finished a book and do not want it any more pass it along to someone else.  That is the best way to share a piece of yourself with others.  I always give my extended guests a book upon their entrance to the Lisanti Palace.  I try to tailor the selection to a work I feel will fit their character and current situation in life.  Sometimes I will use a work to teach a lesson of sorts.  For example when I was pretty sure my ex-girlfriend was cheating on me I gave her a copy of Gustav Flaubert’s Madam Bovary read.  If you do not understand why, read the book cause it is a beautiful tragic love story.

6. Alfie and the Dish Cloth – I am a bit of push over with my pets.  I hate being a disciplinarian especially with my pets.  Neither was my ex-wife.  As a result Alfie grew up with not the best manners.  More times then not during dinner hour he would have to be thrown off the table repeatedly.  Then when my drug addict roommate Nick was passing out all over the apartment (who by the way I am happy to say is in England going through rehab and hopefully cleaning up his life.  Nick I am proud of you man.  Stay on the course.  Your too good for that shit.) Alfie had free reign over all the food that was constantly getting left out or spilled.  Now before we go any further let me say I am not a fan of animal abuse and that I love my cat.  Please do not go calling the ASPCA on me.  One day after feeling a bit sad and then angry over the Adrienne situation I was eating dinner ALONE!  Alfie jumped up on the table and tried to grab my food.  I lost it snagged the dish cloth and rat tailed him.  I got him pretty good too.  So every time Alfie gets out of line all I have to do is pick up the dish cloth and begin to roll it and he bolts.  My dinner parties all run a ton smoother now.

7. Girls Destroying Clothing – I have had a startling amount of clothing ruined by women.  I cannot even tell you the number of button down shirts that I had all or most of the buttons ripped off in the heat of passion.  One in particular wrecked five of my best shirts.  I have had pants ruined because the zipper got torn off.  Fuck I know if tore off an expensive designer dress on some chick she would be pissed as hell about it.   I remove clothing in a sexy yet respectable manner.  I am not even going to get into the number of outfits I had ruined on me as a result of vomiting.  Ladies c’mon.  I know I am irresistible, but does my wardrobe have to suffer for it?

8. Best …Lost Moment – The company …lost has for the greater span of their life as a surf brand been known as anti surfers surf company.  In other words they full on touted the party hard, surf less, miss contests, cause trouble, derelict surf life style rather then the clean cut, mellow, guitar playing, life loving drug/alcohol free positive surfer portrayed by the majority of the industry.  As a result they built up a team of quite the group of characters and a following even worse.  Then they put out these series of films in the early 2000’s documenting and glorifying said lifestyle.  It was very entertaining and there were plenty of out of control moments.  Girls falling down flights of stairs, drunken stair surfing, Randal who was this bum they found living under the pier in Oceanside and paid in booze to allow the team to abuse.  He got his hair lit on fire on many occasion.  There were drunken fights, under age riders chugging pitchers of beers for $20, going over the falls at huge shore break Mexico in an inner tube, having a surfing dog burn some of the best pros at Lowers.  It was insane.  The best moment and I think the entire surf world is with me on is this one is this clip when pro surfer Strider pulled the g-string of some 15 year old girl on the beach in Mexico, called her a slut then jumped back in his jeep and drove away from “Whats really goin wrong”.

I could not find the clip, but this trailer gives a decent idea of what …lost was all about.  The side of surfing everyone knows exists, but don’t want to talk about.

9.  Covering Your Tracks –  This can go for anything in life, but in surfing it is about hiding either where your surfing or surfed to keep the crowds down.  For example in Cape Hatteras, NC the sand bars are constantly shifting.  A good bar can be around for a day or a week or so.  When such occurs initially it is uncrowded.  Then some one goes and tells his friend, who tells his friend, who tells his friend and so on and so forth.  Next thing you know the place is mobbed the next day.  To keep this from happening many of us like to park not right on the spot, drive cars that are not obvious surf cars, I have seen people go as far as hiding their cars behind dunes and then literally covering up the tire tracks.  I once told a buddy of mine I was surfing shitty blown out Ventura, all the while looking at perfect Loons with no one out.  I knew that guy had a big mouth and I was not about to tell him where I was so he could show up with ten bros.

1o. Animal Print – I am a sucker for animal print.  It drives me wild.  When I see a chick wearing any kind of animal print outfit I am immediately turned on.  It brings out our most primal of instincts.  For that reason my bedding has always contained some form of animal print.  Currently I am running with zebra print satin sheets.  Ohhhhh yeahhh, high class.  As I am writing this I have a leopard comforter around me from a former bed set.  Maybe that is why I have all my cloths torn off by women?

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December 2011 Surf Sessions in Review

With each session review I get closer to compiling enough data to bring a 2011 year of surfing in review to this site.  It will be the first of its kind and I must say I am rather excited to see the results of 12 months of useless surfing data.  I know I am crazy.  OCD is a terrible disease.  I guess one could say I am the Rain Man of surfing except I do not have the ability to count cards.

December started out slow surf wise then the north west swells just began to pour in and as of the moment really have not stopped. Believe me there are no complaints here.  My only gripe is with myself and the fact that I blew a number of potential surf sessions thanks to either pure laziness, partying too hard or due to injuries incurred from partying, all of which amounted to December becoming the most underutilized month of the year for me.  That being said there were still plenty of good times all around.

In life I managed to begin the renovations on my apartment, which at press time are just about finished.  Mentally and emotionally I worked through a ton of issues I have been harboring as well.  Maybe not surfing my brains out amounted to some positive in the end.  Only time will tell.  Here are the stats for December:

Number of Surf Sessions: 23
Days Surfed: 18
Total Time Spent in the Water: 35hrs, 25 mins
Waves Surfed: 442
Average Waves Caught in an Hour: 13

Spots Surfed:
Rincon: 8
Emma Wood: 3
Hollywood By The Sea: 3
Little Rincon: 2
New Jetty: 2
Oxnard Shores: 2
C Street: 1
Kooks Peak: 1

Top Three Surf Sessions:

3) 12/20/11 PM Session: 2-3+ft, C Street
Time in Water: 1hr
Waves Surfed: 1o
Mother fucking Cstreet, are you kidding me.  Is that really where I have had the best session in the last five?  Apparently.  Kooky and I car surfed down to Emma finding nothing.  The choice came down to running back to Rincon or going to Cstreet.  I had a feeling it could be fun at the latter so it was on.  Not even looking at it we suited up.  Out of time it was a make it or break it kind of session, sometimes the best ones.  There were two distinct peaks up at pipe.  Straight out of the gates I was nailing good waves.  I caught ten waves and eight of those had no less then six turns.  My last three were sick and some of the better backside turns I have done on my new board.  My last wave was so good I quit on it even though I still had easily another 15 minutes of light left.  Unfortunately Kooky not really knowing where to sit had a frustrating session.  C Street can givith and take it away just as fast.

2) 12/4/11 AM Session: 2-4ft, Oxnard Shores
Time in Water: 1hr
Waves Surfed: 17
Finally a surf and a good one at that.  I got down to Ventura Harbor and it was all closed out.  I was left with a choice of either going to a steadily draining tide Emma Wood or a gamble at the shores.  If I choose the shores and lost then I would have once again blew my gas on yet another wasted car surf.  My prayers were answered as I came up the beach to head high offshore spitting barrels in every direction I looked.  Kooky and I were on it.  What ensued was a full on barrel fest.  I had some drainers.  I saw Kooky get blasted out of a few good ones  too.  My last wave was one of the better left hand barrels I have caught in a long time. It may have been three days in the making but the first session of the month was on.

1) 12/25/11 AM Session: 3-4+ft, Rincon
Time in Water: 3hrs
Waves Surfed: 24
See a Christmas of Epic Proportions Part I and Part II for more details.

 Well there you have it another month of surfing in Lisanti Land folks.  As always you can keep a daily tab on my surfing sessions or just the gnarl that happens in my life that keeps me from surfing at the surflog.

Rincon on Christmas morning, the best session of the month with out a doubt.

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Kooky’s time here is waning, closing in on just about two weeks.  I must say the kid has certainly grown on me these past few months.  I believe he has seen more sides of Chris Lisanti than anyone besides maybe my mother.  Kyle has experienced, angry Chris, party Chris, drunkard Chris, depression Chris, suicidal Chris, hard working Chris even relationship Chris.  Despite dealing with all my moods and insanity he has stayed true and loyal.  In this day in age it is a trait hard to find in another human.  I respect this trait for I myself am one of the most loyal subjects to be found.  Those that head me will get the same treatment in return.

I feel a bit like a proud mentor at this moment.  I have watched over the past four months a kid who I thought might get eaten up by the world learn how to survive outside of the realm of a book.  Knowledge gets you far, yet knowledge plus experience earn one wisdom.   Two months ago I had real fears for the kid over in New Zealand and in life in general.  He survived an extended stay in Lisanti Land at one of the heaviest eras in it’s history.   As I watch him command himself both at life and work these days I am honored to call him one of my brothers.  Kooky Kyle is going to make it in this life folks and its not going to be as drone as I once was afraid of.  I feel assurance that on the road of life he shall take the path less trodden upon.

What a month it has been since you last heard from me. I am still alive believe it or not. I surfed epic El Capitan and some really good Rincon with manageable crowds. I can finally surf a point as it should be surfed, linking turns and sections together. I am no master, but a wave is not totally wasted on me. After nearly four months here I finally got a real mattress and my room is my own, though Alfie still likes to use it as his litter box. Marc recently left, and left his sickness he picked up down in Orange County around the apartment. I am trying to dodge it as best I can. We now have a new couch mate, Dave. He came here as a guest of Chris, but now, I consider the kid a friend of mine too. I guess that is how these things work, shared roof, shared food, shared bar tabs, and shared friends. Gainfully employed, and secure in my living situation, I am now gearing up to leave Santa Barbara.

Why, you ask? First if I do not leave soon, when? Sure next month is a likely bet for some of the more elusive spots to turn on. After that the likelihood of scoring the points rapidly diminishes and what am I doing here? I have booked my ticket to New Zealand and will be there for forty days. I am really excited and a little nervous. Never in my life have I set off to be, as far from everyone I have known, as I am about to be. How can one grow though when they live in the shade of comfort? Even here in Lisanti Land I had a safety net of Chris and the Palace. Even though Chris and I joke about killing each other, I know he has my back as he has illustrated time and time again. Now do not get me wrong, I have grown here  My surfing has definitely improved as I have constantly pushed myself in the water.  I have also learned there is more to life than surfing. Surfing can be the avenue to what else there is in life or it can block you off to it. I hope that I can find the prior to be true, as I have lived most of my life so far under the later.  I will undoubtedly make memories and grow on this adventure. No concrete plans, no travel partners, it is just me.
After New Zealand I have a few things cooking. Some opportunities have come up that I want to take but would have to give up on others. It does look as though I will be returning to New Jersey and rounding out my last summer as a lifeguard.  It saddens me to think that my childhood is ending. I have spent every summer of my life with my extended family at our beach house. I spent more time there than many of my cousins, especially in these recent years. I made many of my best friends there, some of whom are more than friends now.  They are family. Alas, all things must pass. I stand on the verge of my adulthood and see the experiences that lay ahead and I embrace it.
If you are in New Zealand let me know I wouldn’t mind grabbing a beer or some waves with anyone.

Brothers from another mother.

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