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“First Day At Work” Daniel Johnston

April 6, 2012 by clisanti

Today as a result of my extreme laziness, me lazy…noooooo, never.  Mr. go getter over here, about to become the next Rockefeller.  I am going to combine both the UCB and Groovin’ High.  Now I know what your thinking: “Chris you can’t do that”.  Its my blog and I will cry if I want to.  Alright that really did not make any sense at all sort of like this opening paragraph of complete ramblings of an idiot.  In truth I do prefer asshole as I tried to explain to the girl I kicked out of my bedroom last night cause I wanted to go to sleep.  “Sorry, you need to leave now cause that pillow is where my cat sleeps”.

Now that every female subscriber has clicked the unfollow button on my blog let me get back to the point.  Wait what was I writing about again?  No in all seriousness I am not a womanizing prick.  I am actual a hopeless romantic who has been maliciously manized a few times too many and am now jaded, discontent and at this point rather disappointed in both sexes of humanity, male and female on the whole.  Thus I am forced to lash out in at times an inappropriate manner in order to achieve a petty vindication of sorts.  Basically I am an asshole, at least I’m not bitter, I just get better.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way.  John Mauriello in one of our usual Facebook chat sessions, which by the way may become a monthly segment here if I ever get around to it, yep that lazy thing again.  He posted a link to this funny little surfing short Dane Renyolds posted on his blog Marine Layer Productions.  He put the video to this bizarre song, if you can even call it that.  The singing sounds like a chorus of ally cats crying late at night.  Musically it is probably one of the worst songs I have ever laid ears upon.  The lyrics on the other hand are priceless.

Here is a mental image for you.  I was drinking a cup of tea when I played the video, mid sip mind you.  I ended up snorting tea out my nose I laughed so hard.  It was a fucking mess to clean up.  Mucus, blood and tea, but hey now my sinuses are clear for the moment.  The video for the song is rather fucking funny too.

It reminded me just how much working sucks.  Maybe not my job.  Find a job that you love and you never work a day in your life.  That being said I cant stand having to be somewhere for eight hours at day at a certain time till a certain time.  Then being yelled at for coming an hour late sometimes, showing up intoxicated or disheveled from the night before, yelling at customers, having too much fun (yeah my boss told me I needed to calm down cause I was scaring some of the other employees with the antics I hatch in order to amuse myself), throwing food, throwing knives, starting a fire.  All honest mistakes right?  I guess that sort of stuff is only ok on your first day at work, but now its been a few years since that for me.

Like the song says “Today your boss is nice to you, tomorrow he will be mean to you”.  If you laughed at this blog then this song and subsequent video should have your rolling on the floor.  If by reading this bull shit I have just wrote you found yourself offended in some way then get over yourself and stop taking life so seriously.  Either that or “KILL YOURSELF”. Enjoy “First Day At Work” by Daniel Johnston.

Then watch this a Groovin’ High daily double!  Actually it is in honor of the fact that in a few hours my old and best wingman I ever had, great friend and overall enjoyable dude, Brennan will be in town with his boy Christian.  This means I am going to get sloshed tonight.   Whooooooooooooot!!!!!!!!!!  This is also for John Mauriello cause it was our song two summers ago.  Nick the Kook gets a mention since he introduced us to the song.  Kooky Kyle cause he used to sing it at work on a Tuesday in order to pump me up to go party with him.   Finally my perfidious ex-girl friend Ades who loved this song dearly especially when sung so beautifully by Mauriello and I every Friday and most other days of the week for that matter.  “Ooooo I put on my shoes and Im ready for the (insert high pitched tone) WEEKEND”!

“Ready for the Weekend” by Calvin Harris

Nobody messes with Alfie's sleeping spot...

Posted in Anger, Groovin' High, User Choice BLog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Exploring the Land in the Shadow of Mount Egmont: Kooky’s Korner

April 5, 2012 by clisanti

Mt. Taranaki

When we last heard from our surf adventuring friend Kooky Kyle he was getting ready to cruise out of Raglan in search of greener pastures and new emprise in Taranaki (read about his last entry “A Change of Venue“) .   Taranaki for me was a very magical place.  It is basically one  big semi circle type peninsula that was formed by the volcano Mt Egmont or Taranaki as it is more popularly known.  As a result the entire coast line is made up of volcanic rock reef breaks with a few point and beach breaks thrown in.  The beauty of Taranaki is that the coast runs 180 degrees in direction allowing for different wind and swell directions to work with different spots leaving lots of options.  

As far as surf spots go there are upward of I would say at least 1000.  Access to some is quite easy where others involve long hikes through cow pastures, over electric fences and ample beach and rock hikes to get to.  Its usually the ones off the beaten path that allow for some of the best experiences.  I know when I was there, I went for two weeks on one occasion and then three on the other.  I surfed in total close to 50 different waves.  I mean there are lefts, rights, barrels, mellow waves, slabs, monsters,  you name it Naki has it.  The only downside is all the driving that one has to do to explore the place properly.  Gas was not cheap when I was there seven years ago.  I can only imagine what it cost a liter now.

It really reminded me of a rocky version of the Outer Banks, North Carolina as far as different coastal facings, open space and crowds.  The beautiful imagery of the place is amazing.  Before I let Kooky run away with this thing let me paint a mental picture for you while you read about his endeavors.  Imagine waking up, whipping the dew off your window and looking out over green grass and hedges.  You clean off your wind shield and head to whatever spot the current conditions seem best for.  Its all a crap shoot any where there since the weather is so erratic and changes hourly at times.   To your east is Mt Taranaki in all its ominous splendor.  

As you drive you think about how it is still an active volcano and for all you know could erupt and level the place at a moments notice.  There is snow at the top of it.  Winter is on its way easily discernible by the cold dewy  mornings.  Soon the entire mountain will be covered with snow.  You turn west at a giant boulder with the words Stent Road painted on it.  At the end of the that road is a rather fun right point break, a handful of A-frame reef breaks and a few left reef breaks as well, although Stent is the gem.  Driving the 2km it takes to get there you pass nothing but cow and sheep pastures with to odd modest little farm house.  

Nearing the end of the road you see the azure blue of the ocean, the color amplified by the black rock beach and bottom.  In the grass parking lot there are a handful of cars.  The waves are chest to head and glassy. You made a good choice.  Once in the water there are wispy clouds in constant motion overhead to remind you just how small you are out in the middle of the ocean.  Behind you is the giant volcano in hibernation and in front of you is a perfect right hand peeler about to dredge and barrel.  Things could not be better. ..Chris

Taranaki is basically a big wheel with tons of little tiny fingers of boulder reef jutting out into the ocean. No wind protection, only a change in the orientation of the coastline. Man, there are a ton of spots there not in the surf guide.  The Thursday after my last post I hopped in a rental car and booked it down there. A guy I met at solscape had a house in Opunake and said I was welcome to crash at his place if I was in the area and felt so inclined.

I took him up on the offer. The only problem was he didn’t have a cell phone and only left me his email address. It was cool though, I had met a French Opair who said I would be welcome to stay with her in New Plymouth. The plan was to stay with her and when I got in touch with the other guy to go to his place. As it turns out she was busy and couldn’t get me a place to stay.  She insisted before I left that we must meet up for tea or beers (We met up for tea). Here is the million dollar question, leave your opinion in the comments. Do you think Kooky banged her out? 5 to 1 odds that he did not.  I spent the night at a local back packers, woke up and went straight to Stent Rd.

It was super fun, a little overhead, slight offshores and never more than 7 guys in the water my whole session. Half way through, who paddles out but the guy from Raglan. He told me how to get to his place and to pick up any groceries I needed in New Plymouth. When I showed up at his place it turned out he had no kitchen,no electricity, and no hot water. It was basically camping in a makeshift back building of the house he owned and rented out.  Not quite the Lisanti Palace. It was all good, a free place to stay makes those dollars go a lot farther.

Down in the southern portion of Taranaki I had a hate session at Sky Williams. Sky Williams is a left hand reef point that looks sick from the parking lot but is one of the most frustrating waves to ride I have ever come across.  It is like Lead Better but a left.   I scored a  fun time at Arawhata (Arawhata is a right reef pass with some other scattered reef passes up and down the beach.  Its very consistent and playful although never epic), got yelled at for walking down the trail after my session at Mughume (Mughume is a right reef on the other side of Sky Williams that throws pretty hard although is very shifty) and surfed a few secret spots. The first secret spot was only a little outside of Opunake and was a lined up right reef that had a solid wall and the odd barrel. I left with a wind storm looming on the horizon.

 On my way down into Taranaki I saw a sign for a wood turning studio, needing a wedding present for my cousin I  followed the signs and went in. It turned out that the guy was coming home from work, but his wife invited me in for a ginger cordial while I waited. They were very friendly and he offered to make me a piece by tuesday and told me if I need a place to stay I was more than welcome to stay with him and his wife. After the swell faded out of Opunake I cruised on up the coast and took him up on the offer.

I killed the day by surfing and exploring the coast up in Urenui just north of New Plymouth. It was small, but this wave would hit the seacliffs at the end off the beach and bounce back out to sea. As it did, it would feel the bottom of the beach and wrap back in and break like a little right point. If another wave was coming in at the same time, it would wedge and pitch out in the form of a super square stomach to chest high barrel. It was really cool. After my surf I took a wander up the coast and found three spots that with another meter or two of swell have incredible potential, none of these are in the surf guide. Ask me in person and I will draw you the treasure map.

That night I had dinner with the wood worker and his wife.  We talked about  where I was going in life and how he had done his travels on the backpackers trail through South East Asia. We talked about his time in the military and how he would always figure out the best way out of work. He was also a coxswain when he was younger(the person who steers a crew boat and yells at everyone). As it turns out he was one of the craftsmen for the Last Samurai that was filmed in Taranaki and he even got to be in the film for a few seconds. He is pretty sure it is because he is short and wouldn’t make Tom look his real size.

After a lovely dinner and great conversation I spent the night in their guest house.  In the morning I drove all the way up to Piha, a surf spot on the West coast just outside of Auckland. A tropical system was lashing the east coast with 30 kt on shore winds and those were offshore in Piha, which was throwing out some solid left barrels.  Piha is a good wave.  It sort of breaks in the middle of this semi protected cove thing with a huge rock in the middle of the beach. It is usually rather crowded due to its proximity to the city. I managed to not kook it on two but most either went fat or I got swallowed up when I pulled in. Anyways I only have a few days left and I will update everyone on what happens when I get back to the states in a week…Kooky Kyle

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Posted in Kooky's Korner, Surfing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

Cheese Cake (American Style)

April 1, 2012 by clisanti

Cheese Cake slice with orange slice roses

Hows that for a fatty slice of goodness? Yum!

American Style Cheese Cake

This is sort of a family recipe although not in the same respect as my grandmother’s Italian recipes that have been passed down orally through my family for generations.  I believe my father,who actually makes some of the best cheese cakes despite an overall average at best culinary proficiency,  picked this recipe up from a cook book years and years ago and has perfected it.  We have an actual family recipe for an Italian cheese cake, but that will have to wait for another installment of Recipe D’Jour .

In an effort to allow me to cook fine meals (I love the work I do at Westmont, but considering the quality of ingredients purchased, amount of time and help allotted and immense size of portioning there is only so much I can do in terms of emanation) and try out potential menu items for my at the moment fictional restaurant I am playing around with the idea of opening  by the time I am 35.  Currently it is moving from the dream to the planning/feasibility stage, but that is another blog for certainly another day.  I began having dinner parties with a wide array of invitees.  These parties usually feature an entree and dessert.

Most times I have my guests bring the dessert.  This week I had this woman coming who’s parents have a winery in Paso Robles and promised to bring their best vintage of syrah.  She mentioned at a previous dinner event that she had a soft spot for cheese cake.  I think we all know how much I appreciate good wine and I have been looking to make this cheese cake for sometime.  Thus my motivation is your gain with a new recipe here on surfingruinedmylife.net.

Serving Size: 8-12
Total Cost: $17.50
Prep Time: 30mins
Cook Time: 1hr
Cool Time: 6hrs

Ingredient List:

    • Crust
      •  Graham Cracker Crumbs – 2 Cups
      • Butter – 8 Tablespoons
      • Cinnamon – 1 Teaspoon
    • Filling
      • Cream Cheese – 24 oz (Block)
      • Sour Cream- 16 oz
      • Heavy Cream 8 oz
      • Eggs – 4 (large)
      • Sugar – 1 1/2 Cups

Step 1: Combine all ingredients for the filling –  Using an electric mixer combine all ingredients for the filling making sure your end product is a uniform thick cream.

The filling ingredients before mixing.

The filling after being well blended.

Step 3: Make the crust – Cut butter up into small chunks and combine with the graham cracker crumbs till you have a uniform consistency through out.  Crust should feel greasy and not be crumby.  Take crust and flatten it into the bottom of a round 10″ springform pan.

The crust flattened into the springform pan.

Step 3: Pour filling into springform pan – Slowly pour cheese cake filling made in step 1 into the spring form pan on top of the crust.

Step 4: Bake cheese cake  – Preheat oven to 350 F and place springform pan into it.  Bake for around 55 minutes to an hour or until top is  golden brown in color.

Step 5: Cool – Cooling is an arduous task for this particular dessert.  If it is cooled too fast the cake will fall and crack.  After cake is fully cooked turn off oven and let the cake sit in the cooling oven for around an hour.  Remove cake from oven and allow to cool at room temperature for another hour.   Cover cake with plastic wrap.  Be sure to make a hole to allow for heat to escape and place into the refrigerator.  refrigerate for around four to six hours before serving.

Step 6: Serve and Enjoy! – Remove the side of the springform pan and enjoy.

Cheese Cake,

Yummy, yeah I cracked mine, cooled it a little too fast, but I needed it for a dinner party that was happening less then six hours from when I finished the cake. I would recommend cooking it the night before. Cracked or not it still tasted amazing.

 

Posted in Recipe D'Jour | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

The Maternal Connection

March 30, 2012 by clisanti

This week’s UCB, well ok, more like this month’s makes of winner of Mauriello.  I know I have been slacking on the whole thing but I mean seriously the only participants at the moment are Kooky and Mauriello and I am fucking busy as shit between working, drinking and surfing.  If you want more UCBs then suggest more.  Also March is over on Saturday but I will honor any Power of Ten list that gets posted before 12am on April 1st and post it on Monday April 2nd.  Remember them things be worth 2 points and are with out a doubt some of the best blogs here for pure entertainment value.  John asked I write a blog about mothers and for whatever reason I feel sentimental at the moment so why the fuck  not.

First off John and I are both Italian and being brought up by Italian mothers were well raised(I know its hard to believe, but I do have manners and in most cases would consider myself a gentleman).  For my up bringing I thank my mother’s painstaking efforts to keep me a decent member of society.  In Italy there is a saying that roughly translates to “Italian men love their mothers first and foremost before any other woman in the world”.  To this day I have yet to meet a woman who has stacked up to my mother and certainly am not looking for that anyway.

I love my mother.  She gave me life .  It blows my mind that any female would want go through the entire pregnancy process to bring into the world a most likely ungrateful let down of an offspring.  I think maybe a let down is being a bit hard on myself.  These days I think, well I hope my mother can find a little pride in me.  I don’t blame her I definitely squandered a lot of opportunities, blew other ones, wasted various skill/talent/intelligence.  Hey we only go around once and she should have known from the get go that I was to beat to my own drum and it was not about to sound like the norm.

Despite the love I have for my mom there is also not a person on this planet that knows how to push  my buttons like she does.  Left in the same room with no escape from one another I am sure the two of us would tear each other to pieces.  If not physically then for sure emotionally and mentally.  Maybe that is why we have such a great relationship these days her and I because I live nearly 3,000 miles away and in a different time zone.   I think that separation allows  us to miss one another enough that when we converse and get together we over look the little stupidities we used to fight over and focus on making the most of the minimal amount of time we have allotted to spend together.

I have to honestly say I really do miss my mother.  For my entire life up until I moved out here to Santa Barbara I lived no further then a few miles from her door for more then a few months.  To be perfectly honest she is the closest friend I have ever known.  I am a very independent person and thinker.  As a result I have trouble getting along with others whom I may not understand, which encompasses 98% of the human race.  I don’t have an Oedipus complex so get your filthy minds out of the gutter for once.  Don’t worry I am sure there will be a dirty perverted blog to come at some point soon.

As a kid it was rather tough for me to make any friends because I did not know how to understand or control the level of aggravation playing with most other children gave me.  I would lash out ultimately causing problems and in some cases bodily harm to play mates.  I once hit a kid across the face with a toy truck and he had to get like eight stitches or something absurd like that.   It was not long before other children did not want to associate themselves with me and in the process caused my poor mother to be isolated as well, being no other mothers her age would spend time with her because of fear of my bad influence on their own children.   My mom became my friend and I hers.

I picked up a ton of great skills from the whole ordeal.  She was a math teacher and as an educator instilled the ideals in me how important it was to be an intelligent person.  I learned how to keep a clean house, dress, shop ( I can find a bargain on anything) cook, basic sewing.  You know how there are guys who can’t do shit for themselves and always have to rely on either there mother or girl friend to handle their domestic shit.  In most of my previous relationships I was the one handling my woman’s shit.  To this day I don’t leave my house with out my bed being made and the overall impression that I live in a neat and orderly home.  This way if you have an unexpected guest or a thief breaks in at least that person will respect your ability to have pride that you live in a decent home.

I tell my mother everything and always have.  I have little if any secrets from her.  I mean I have shared everything to fights I got into at school, to my first sexual experience to my current drinking problem.  There is no point in trying to hide anything from her anyway.  I mean when I lived close and saw her she could tell right by my demeanor if something was bothering me.  These days she can tell just by how my voice sounds over the phone.   Its uncanny actually.

For example I called my mother Wednesday, I call her every week and have whenever I have been away from her as long as I have breathed air.  I was telling her what a fun time I had out at the bar Sunday night and she immediately replied “oh, that means you blacked out and don’t remember most of the details”.  I was stunned for a second.  She knows her son.  At the moment she does not judge me, I hope.  She knows there are times in my life where I need the distraction in order to transition into a new phase.  At the moment I have been in a year long transitional period.  Things are getting better.

There was a time when I used to hate her.  I blamed her for all of my problems in life.  Its human nature to blame everyone and everything else but yourself in times of adversity.  Once I stopped playing the blame game and realized that my life is whatever I make it to be therefore can only be blamed on my own personal decisions and actions I gave up being angry at her.  There was a period when I stopped calling her or going over her house out of absolute spite.  Family vendettas are a terrible thing and unfortunately being Italian I have witnessed too many.  Life is too short to cut someone off cause of a disagreement over most likely stupidity.  This whole life, whatever it is, is rather stupid when you come to think about it.

I know it makes me laugh.  I love my mother and I thank her for everything she has ever done for me and will do for me.  Sure some of her parenting methods may have been a bit abstract at times, but if it was not for her I would not be the man I am today.  Mom’s don’t really get a lesson on how to be a good mom.  They just do what they think is right for their children and mine did the best she could.  I hope yours did too.

Posted in User Choice BLog | Tagged | 1 Comment »

A Change of Venue…Kooky’s Korner

March 29, 2012 by clisanti

Last we checked in with Kooky Kyle he was in Raglan working and being encompassed in a flat spell.  Here is an update from the man himself.

 Hey everyone, I am not dead. Today is my final full day in Raglan, I am hiring a car tomorrow and cruising to Taranaki. The forecast is looking good so I should be getting some fun waves. Last you heard from me I was at Solscape Wwofing and sitting in a flat spell. I made myself surf the beach break pretty much every day until the flatness ended. I can tell you from personal experience the beachie he is talking about is a pretty terrible wave. 

What ended the flat spell? A head a half+ west swell lighting up all three points. The first day was wild and wooly, I surfed and Manu and spent more time paddling than I should have. I surfed a day like what he is describing out there.  It was easily double overhead and stormy as all hell.  I actually got some real bombs that day and got respect for the rest of my time there from all the locals because of it.  The second day saw the swell hit in force with big disorganized surf pouring into all three points. I surfed Whale Bay in the morning because I wasn’t up for spending my whole session paddling through the washing machine that was Indicators.

I surfed Manu Bay in the afternoon and got some workings on the Ledge.   The ledge is the heavy ass section at the top of Manu that is only really make-able when it is huge and even then it is a crap shoot.  I don’t know how Chris deals with surfing over boils on his back hand I just got my ass kicked. Mitch Coleborn was out and that guy along with some other Raglan pros were tearing the place a new asshole. Getting out I heard one of the Raglan guys say “It isn’t the best Manu, but it is the best we have had in a month.” The swell finally cleaned up on the third day and I mistakenly grabed my 5’10” thinking that the swell had dropped enough.

WRONG. Indies was still head and a half plus, offshore and crowded. I had no problem catching waves on the 5’10” but getting them off of the crowd and the drops was another story, and the short of it is I got three waves and got my ass worked for two and a half hours. By the afternoon the swell had actually dropped and I got some great waves and surfed really well considering my kooky ass. My ride had ditched me and taken my clothes back to Solscape with him, leaving me walking barefoot on some unkind twisting turning roads. It is all good though he had work to get to and the surf was worth it. This morning the swell had nearly dried up but i surfed indies again and had another great session trading off on waves with this older kiwi.

With the topic of waves out of the way, I really enjoyed my time here. Once it was discovered that I was more useful doing gardening/landscape/outdoor work, I have to say I didn’t mind working here at all and it stirred memories on working in my garden at my parent’s Maryland house. If you ever come to NZ and want to visit Raglan definitely check out Solscape. They treated Chris right and they have treated me well too. One black mark has happened here, last night there was a rash of small thefts, a wallet, Sarah’s cellphone, a set of iPod speakers were all stolen, we are all pretty sure who did it but there isn’t anyway to prove it. In a place where all the people are friendly and know each other this kind of stuff doesn’t happen but when a thief gets in, it is a field day.

Anyways, I will keep you posted when I can I am not sure what the situation will be like over the next weeks but I will try and keep in touch.—–Kooky Kyle

Manu Bay, Raglan New Zealand, firing.

Taranaki secret spot, Kooky's next destination...

Posted in Kooky's Korner, Surfing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Beginning of the End: April 2011 Surfing In Review

March 24, 2012 by clisanti

April 2011 Surf Sessions in Review

Bare with me here, I know these stats happened nearly a year ago, but I just found out while trying to compile some yearly stats that I still need to write up the stats for a few months that went by the wayside back then for obvious reasons ( you can read “Bowing Out” if your new here and missed a major incident in my life).  April is always a rough month for surfing in the 805, plagued by constant winds, transition between NW and South swell seasons and extremely cold water.   Throw in a full time job, school and a falling apart relationship and it became one of the toughest months to surf of my entire life, let alone live.  Hey here I am still kicking.  I am not sure why I am still alive, but mainly I feel my survival these days is based purely on spite.   I am not quite sure whom it is I am spiting by staying alive, but I am sure there is someone out there who may benefit from my death and for the chance just to spite that person I will fight to live no matter what.  Survival for spite that is the new campaign for 2012, forget anything else I have mention previously.  Here are the stats for April 2011.

Number of Surf Sessions: 21
Days Surfed: 21
Total Time Spent In Water: 33hrs 45mins
Total Number of Waves Surfed: 636
Average Waves Caught Per Hour: 19

Spots Surfed:
Mesa Lane: 9
Rincon: 6
Emma Wood: 3
El Capitan: 1
Hammonds: 1
New Jetty: 1

Top 3 Sessions:

3.  4/1/11 Am Session: 2-4+ft, Emma Wood
Time in Water: 1.5 hrs
Waves surfed: 25
Talk about a double up barrel fiesta out there this morning and I was not even going to go surf when I woke up this am.  The weather was so nice and since I had got a lot of work done at J7 yesterday and an alarming potential for south winds in the afternoon led me to Emma Wood.  When I pulled up it was solid chest high with overhead suck up sets.  I saw a three wave set A-frame and barrel hard both left and right with only about six guys out.  I was on it and at least ten of my waves were solid dry barrels.  Then after about 45 minutes everyone showed up making it a bit crowded, but there were like six peaks working all going both right and left making for plenty of room.  If I did not have to get dings done at J7 today I would have stayed out till the tide drained.  Im so glad Emma has finally got her groove back!

2. 4/7/11 PM Session: 1-3+ft, El Capitan
Time In Water: 3 hrs 15mins
Waves Surfed: 49
On my walk to class this morning I noticed that Lead Better had some solid chest high waves hitting the beach break and even larger sets on the point.  I got home and checked the buoys and East Santa Barbara was reading 7ft  and the wind was hard WNW, off shore for El Cap.  Still I was thinking about Rincon when my boy from work Kevin called me and was all physicked on surfing in the avro.  With a partner in crime I said lets go to El Capitan and it was on.  We got there around 4ish and it was pretty small looking.  There were only about four guys on it and occasionally a chest high wave would roll in.  Anyway there were plenty of fun looking waist high ones coming through.  Thing about El Capitan is that it is a perfect wave no matter the size so even small it was still rather inviting.  We ended up having a blast.  I dont think I have ever gotten that many waves there ever.  Renowned surf board shaper Wayne Rich paddled out with these two mini-groms and two friends of his and he paddled right up to me, introduced himself and said “Hi my name is Wayne you are too good of a surfer to grovel this hard with all the hopping around, but just so you know I am really impressed by your surfing ability”. I was like are you serious, Wayne Rich a man who has seen so many greats surf was stoked on my surfing.  He ended up getting a bunch of good ones and everyone out there was just hooting a hollering; a completely different vibe then the last time I surfed out there with Kooky.  The waves were twice as good that time but the crowd was super heavy and people were all aggro.  See March ’11 of the surf log 3/17/11 entry for more details on that session.   All I can say was that it was a most splendid day of surfing.

1. 4/2/11 PM Session: 2-3+ft, Rincon
Time In Water: 1.5 hrs
Waves Surfed: 15
Sometimes I surf really well.  I think everyone has those sessions where they feel like god out there.  I dont care what skill level your at, when you have a session where you surf to the highest potential of your personal ability it feels incredible.  I had one of these sessions at Rincon tonight.  The funny thing about it was that going into the surf I was feeling rather lackadaisical.  I had just finished repairing my favorite board which got destroyed at some epic Rincon two weeks back  (see “Bad Decisions Lead to Great Out Comes” and“Yesterday’s (3/24) Rincon Session Revisited” for the skinny on what happened there).   Jason and I pulled the tail in about an 1/8 inch from my regular template and it has really turned my performance up a notch.  I love computer design programs.  It is so easy to make those minute details come out perfect.  I think the combination of a good board, fun chest high plus glassy bowls and a light crowd aided in a fun session.  I surfed the entire point spending the first half up at River Mouth were I snagged a nice little backside tube and stuck a solid backside section air.  The next half I spent in the cove absolutely owning it. By my 15th wave I was completely exhausted.  Besides the wind got on it a bit, the crowd picked up and the tide began to make things a bit swampy.  Timing is everything in life.
 

Me at Rincon Circa Spring 2011. Life may not have been working out for me back then but at least I still had surfing.

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Clothes Make the Man

March 23, 2012 by clisanti

Tonight I am going to cover a subject that means quite a lot to me.  I am Italian and from New York thus I have a very deep rooted attachment to clothes and looking my best in them.  I see way to many people in today’s society discounting the role being well dressed plays in life.  What you wear is a direct reflection of you and you should be proud of every aspect of how you put yourself together.

I am going to share a small rant story.  I am at work finally at the end of my peak dinner rush.  Keep in mind that tonight I had both a catering event to help with and my own meal over at the Mexican restaurant.  I know, an Italian chef running a Mexican restaurant sounds a bit preposterous.  Then again so has been my entire life.  I get to sit down on a milk crate behind to kitchen and check my phone to see if any ladies are chomping at the bit to see me tonight.

As usual nothing of the kind, such is life.  I don’t blame them I guess.  I mean I was way more attractive when I was a failing professional surfer working at a gas station who barely had a pot to piss in.  I really don’t get that expression.  I mean if your poor there is always something to piss in and who pees in a pot anyway.  I would just take a piss in the bushes or behind a dumpster or something.  That is technically my guest bathroom at the palace.  Actually the pharse dates back to colonial times when there was not plumbing.  People had these little pot type things that they would do their business in at night and then dump them out in the morning.  Hence the phrase “pot to piss in”.  I love useless knowledge, don’t you.  We all know Kooky Kyle does.  He is like the fucking encyclopedia of that type of shit.

Where was I?  Oh, the text.  My new roommate whom has barely lived in my place for three weeks texts me “I borrowed your pea coat….bla bla”.  This particular coat is my favorite to wear when I dress up.  It is not cheap, although I got it for a deal and since I walk about a mile and half down town it is key to looking my best on said walk.  If I feel styling and put together on my way to the club it translates down to my demeanor in the club as well.

Dude takes the coat with out my permission and in my book that is very disrespectful.   Shoots if he asked I most likely would have lent it to him anyway.  More then one person has benefited from my extensive wardrobe.  I was at first furious.  It took some deep breathing and meditation to calm myself down.  Then I thought about it further.  Dan is a Californian and mostly besides LA and San Francisco the whole lot of them do not really know how to dress.  I mean the guy is always in khaki’s and shades of blue color button downs when I see him.  He looks like he should be on the Banana Republic catalog or something to that effect.

Realizing this I figured he just may not have understood just how much clothing means to fashion oriented people.  As a result did not fully understand the severity of the offense he was committing.  Shit maybe he got excited when he saw just how flashing my wardrobe is and was overwhelmed becoming light headed and not thinking “hey I should probably ask Chris before taking a jacket this sleek”.  Could have been worse.  He could have grabbed my custom made Armani suit or dabbled in my shoes.

I will reiterate, I am Italian.  Where do you think most fashion originates from?  That’s right Italy.  There is not any Milan in California. Sorry folks.  In the US the hub of high fashion is New York City.  Now I am not saying I am the most stylish person out there, but to be honest the only thing that keeps me from being just that is budget.  If I had rapper money believe me my wardrobe would be out of this world.  Heck I might just throw an outfit away after I wore it so that I would never have to be in re-runs.  I am also a bit insane.

Ever since I was a child having decent clothing was instilled into me by my parents.  My dad always wore nice shoes and explained a good pair of shoes said a lot about a man’s character.   When I made my first communion my mother had my suit custom tailored for me.  It took two days of measurements cause I was so hyperactive and I hated her for it.  I will tell you this I was one of the best dressed kids at that service.  At my conformation my sponsor and I coordinated purple suits,but in a classy way, not too guido.  When I go shopping for clothing it can take hours.  My friends have stopped going with me for that reason.  I think my mother is one of the few people I can shop with.  Italian men and their mothers is a topic I am not about to cover in this blog.

Now I need to mention that I am not saying that a well dressed person can’t be a creep.  What I am trying to say is that how you present yourself shows how you want to be perceived.  If I go out in stained clothing and torn up shoes it mainly says I do not give a fuck.  When you look put together people look at you with a sort of admiration.  “That guy has it going on”.  Most people say I over dress and I always reply, no you just under dress.  If we all went around naked it would not matter, but since that has yet to come to pass, and I admit I would be the first to jump on the all nude all the time band wagon.  It may not go to well with my current profession and the sanitation code, but in general I would have no problem giving up on clothing all together.

Even at work I try and keep a style about  me.  My chef coats are of an angled cut at the neck which suits my body type.  I picked a hat that enhances my out fit and I always, always wear pleated pants.  You may be reading this right now and be thinking “man this guys is one of the most vain people I have ever listened to ramble on about bull shit”.  In my opinion its not vanity my friends, but self respect and respect for others around me.

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Kooky Lives: Alive and Unscathed in NZ

March 17, 2012 by clisanti

Where has Kooky Kyle been?  What has that crazy guy with the giant red clown fro been doing since his departure from Lisanti Land?  These are all very good questions.  Yet I am not the one the answer them.  Finally after nearly two weeks of incommunicado Kooky hit me up with a short  but sweet Kooky’s Korner.  I will not ramble on anymore cause you have that inflicted upon you here a bit too much. ..Chris

It is bizarre some trips it doesn’t set in that you are leaving until you are actually leaving. That was certainly the case here. I might have said I knew I was leaving before I left but only upon finding myself on the bus to LAX did the actual excitement set in.  The airplane ride was boring, but what does one expect of a 12 hours in an aluminum tube? (I guess Kooky did not take full advantage of the open bar.  Shit every time I fly overseas I am hammered on the plane.  Last time I went to New Zealand the flight attendant cut me off cause as she put it my drunken antics were causing distress to the other passengers.  Then I passed out in the airport at Fiji and nearly missed my connecting flight, which I would have missed had it not been the only flight leaving and their port authority would not let the plane take off unless the entire roster was accounted for.  Needless to say I ended up delaying the flight by about a half hour…Chris)I was in and out of Auckland and I really lucked into my room at the hostle, as it was the last one available. Same thing happened at Solscape this hostel in Raglan on the middle of the west coast of the north island, not to mention one of the best surf spots in the entire country.

 I slept off my jet lag on Saturday and surfed on that Sunday and Monday.  Chris’ friend Sara from back in New Jersey now currently chilling in New Zealand, Sara hooked me up with a WOFer positon. I work for two and a half hours around the resort and I get free room. It is really stretching my money. All things considered at the moment I plan on staying in Raglan until about the 25th of March and then depending on the swell forecast I might travel.  I have a few different possible hook ups, two in Taranaki, and a spot in Christchurch and Hawkesbay. So my plans are really wide open.

 Dave Rastovich was here all last week and Tom Curren played a gig in town as well.  The surf spots here are pretty good. Whale bay isn’t  a great wave, but Indicators and Manu Bay are world class.  The beach is a cross between wrightsville beach and a doubled up closeout. I made it up to Rapuke , another beach break a with a ton more exposure to swell just above Raglan, once. Ironically I ran into a  group of guys from NJ, but the tide was too drained out and it was a massive closeout.  Looks like there is a little flat spell coming with mid day low tides so hopefully I can get in up at Repuke.
 This is really all I have time for as I pay by the minute for it…Till next time Kooky Kyle.
Well there you have it folks the thrilling adventures of Kooky Kyle thus far.  Stay tuned for the final installment of my Spring Break 2012 series and this week’s  UCB.  Dont forget to submit your power of ten lists for March.  They are good for  two points.  

A look at two of the spots Kooky has been surfing. Indicators is the far point and Whale Bay is in the foreground.

 

Posted in Kooky's Korner, Life, Surfing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Old Habits Die Hard…Spring Break Day 3

March 13, 2012 by clisanti

Well on day one Lisanti went into the Wild.  On day 3 Chris Lisanti got fucking wild at the Wild Cat.  Its only fitting that I started Day there at the Kitty.  Last night, gay night was especially gay.  I am pretty sure with the exception of my friends Mark, Adrienne (not my ex-Adrienne) and maybe a handful of other people everyone was playing for the other team.   At first I was taking things in strides. I was a little bummed about how the weekend played out getting blown off by that chick I mentioned in both the surflog and yesterday’s blog “Busy Bee, Spring Break Day 2“.

I was determined not to let the instance turn me to depression drinking.  Then boredom kicked in and around 1am with no real prospects cruising around the club Wild Cat Adrienne said “Get a shot with me”.  I am on spring break after all and have not really gotten hammered in a long time.  I’m lying I got hammered on Friday night with this UCSB graduate school chick I met.  I thought I might be able to pull her, but then she was kidnapped by her friends in the last minutes of last call and taken home to Goleta.  Goleta chicks are near impossible to bring home and visa versa.

Its a solid $30-50 cab ride, pain in the ass bus ride or long, long walk (trust me I walked it once) home for both parties.  Rule of thumb downtown: if she wants me to come home with her and it is back to Goleta I pass and when I try to bring them home to the Mesa it is usually the same effect.  Its just too far, thus the best one can hope for is digits and shoot for a follow up date.  I got her number, now I just have to decide if she was worth giving a call.

Man that got off track.  Anyway, Adrienne and I got a round of Fire Ball Shots (whiskey).  Now I don’t drink whiskey because for whatever reason whenever I do it brings out the worst drunk I can possibly be.  I get angry, emotional,  and crazy in a scary way.  Everyone who parties knows there is no such thing as doing one round of shots no matter how drunk you are.  They are addictive.  There is something about the bartender pouring your choice of poison into those little glasses and the looks on your face and those around you.  Everyone knows that you are on a one way ticket to being out of your mind.

Yeah, one round led to three, the last one taken at last call.  That my friends is the last thing I remember.  What happened after that is beyond my reasoning.  I went to black out town, population me.   This time there was no Kooky to help me put the pieces together.  Somehow I managed to get my jacket from coat check and sign out my tab.  I also managed to walk home, but barely I think.

Fast forward to 9:30am.  I woke up on the floor of my apartment directly adjacent to my front door to a text from Lindsay about if I wanted to surf or not.  I was fully dressed, jacket, shoes and all.  My pants were torn at the knee and the hip and I had a few bruises on my body.  I assume I must have fell down a few times on the walk home, but that is speculation, anything could have happened for that matter.  I checked my outbox/inbox of my phone to see if I sent or was received anything.  Apparently I sent Wild Cat Adrienne a very incoherent angry message, which I apologized for and she was cool with.  That was the only lead I had and she had no recollection of anything after that last shot either.

Whatever, I am still alive.  Since I was up I got changed and decided to go for a surf and it was a good thing I did cause Rincon was breaking.  It was tiny, waist with the occasion chest high set through the Cove, but it was flawless.  I mean oil glass and running down the Cove perfectly.  Some how despite being a bit messed up still I surfed exceptional.  I am talking a top notch backside performance anyone would be proud of.  The crowd was myself and about ten other people.  I was super stoked for the session.

From there I had just enough time to scarf down another bowl of cereal and run to class or nap time as I like to call it.  Unfortunately we had to do group activities in class cutting into my sleepy time.  It was fun and I found out about this cool jazz show that went down tonight of which I have just got back from.  On another note before I get into the show I think this will be the last semester I am going to spend in the Culinary program at Santa Barbara City College.  The program is very unimpressive to me and I just feel that I am wasting my time.

Instead if you remember back to a few blogs ago I mentioned something about how I really wanted to go cook in Italy.  That is exactly what I am going to do.   There are a few different culinary schools out there that offer intensive three month programs where I can earn a master chef certificate in Italian and European Cuisine, a stage 2 sommelier certification and a pastry and baking certificate.  Basically I will do in three months what will take me at my current rate years if ever at City College.  The last five weeks of the program I am required to cook in different restaurants all over Italy.

Who knows maybe I will even meet a nice Italian girl and bring her back with me to America.  There will be more on this in blogs to come as I figure the whole thing out.  It is about time I do something positive for me for a change.  I think a break from both the Wild Cat and Santa Barbara may be good for my health.

Back to the jazz show.  This girl in my group mentioned she was going to a jazz show at Soho, my all time favorite venue to listen to live entertainment at in Santa Barbara.  I took the stage there once myself and all I can say is that it was one of the best sound stages I have ever performed on (check out the blog “About Last Night” for more on that performance).  I asked her about the event and it turns out it was at 7:30 that evening.

I cruised and my buddy was working the door so I got in for free.  Turns out all the cats were local and they burned.   The majority of the cats on stage were so hot they had me hooting and hollering the entire time.   As it turns out they do these “Jazz Jams” as they call them every few weeks at Soho and anyone is invited to play.  The next one is April 2nd and I will guarantee that they will be joined by jazz saxophonist, Chris Lisanti.  I can’t wait to get up and blow with those guys.

I am even more stoked that it is a fairly regular thing.  Hopefully they like my stuff and invite me back to play on other occasions.  I guess I am going to have to do some heavy woodshedding over the next two weeks.  They had another saxophonist with them and he was exceptional, but in a completely different style then I play.  the group was ironically very “West Coast Cool”, where as I am definitely “Harlem Eclectic”.  West Coast Cool is a style of jazz that is more lay back and relaxed such as Wes Mongomery or Bill Evans.  Harlem Eclectic is more in your face hyper active like Sonny Rollins or John Coltrane.

That brings me to right now sitting here on my couch under my leopard blanket putting the finishing touches on this piece while Alfie lounges in felicity on my lap.  Goodnight everyone and stay tuned tomorrow for more Spring Break action.

I am sure I can find a bar just as gnarly as the Shitty Kitty in Italia.

Posted in Life, Music, News From Lisanti Land, Surfing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Busy Bee, Spring Break Day 2

March 11, 2012 by clisanti

This is going to be short and sweet cause I really did not do anything all that exciting today.  Don’t fret I still have five more action packed days.   One thing I can say is that I actually surfed today.  I think it is the first time since like the 2nd. You can read the surflog to find out about that terrible surf.  A terrible surf is still better then no surf at all in my book.   You know what I actually surfed pretty good too and it always feels good when you surf good.

I got home, scarfed a bowl of cereal, Rice Chex with half a banana chopped up in it, ate the other half by itself.  It may sound bizarre to be so stoked on cereal but it really is one of my favorite things to eat.  I am like Jerry Seinfeld in that respect.  I once lived off cereal for all my meals back in my contest days.  I have this special bowl, I think everyone has that special bowl when it comes to eating cereal.  You know what I am talking about.  The one bowl that is the perfect portion for yours truly that fits just the right amount of milk and cereal filling right to the brim but not quite over flowing when you put the spoon in.  C’mon who ever pours themselves a half bowl of cereal?

I have this bowl that does not match any of my other dish ware.  I found it in the trash actually when I first moved here.  Adrienne tried to throw it out on me.  I have considered getting rid of it.  Heroin Nick bogarted it in his room for a few weeks.  Yet the bowl prevails now five years after I initially found it.   Its my holy grail for cereal and since it is correlle I am sure to have it for years to come.  If it breaks I may have to give up eating cereal for the process to find a new perfect bowl would be too tremendous a task.

While eating my breakfast I did my usual internet time, Surfline, FaceBook, email, Craigslist, SurfingRuinedMyLife.net, looked at a little porn.  I covered all aspects of the internet I enjoy.  From there it was house cleaning time.   Believe me my place had become quite the sty.  I decided to attack my stove top which thanks to last week’s dinner and drunken cooking had become rather gross.  I spent a solid hour on it, but now it is squeaky clean.   Cleanliness really is next to godliness.

I took a brief break from cleaning to go prune my garden.  I have been stressed the last few days from this girl whom I thought might be interested in me, but ended up shining me, blowing me off all weekend.  The least she could do is have some decency and say she did  not want to chill instead of leaving me hanging.  That is the last time I try and do something romantic for a while. I was never a flower giving guy.  In the last few years I have taken to giving flowers and each time it has just blown up in my face. I think I am going back to being a no flower guy again.

After a brief time in my garden I felt better.  There is something about plants that is so relaxing to me.  You take care of them, show them love and they bloom beautiful flowers, grow big and healthy and are aesthetically pleasing.  Their way of saying thank you for taking care of me.  If only human beings were the same way.  I am not to far off to going  into the woods some where completely recluse, Sir Gaiwan style.  That is a completely different blog altogether.

Then I went back to cleaning, where I tackled the rest of the kitchen, the bathroom which by the way was disgusting, then I Murphy oiled the new floors, polished my samurai sword, too much stabbing, finally I vacuumed the rugs and called it a day.  There is nothing like reveling in a freshly cleaned apartment.  Then I enjoyed meal three of left over vegetable lasagna from the last dinner I cooked at work on Friday night.   It came out amazing so why not.  I think it can furnish me another two meals.  Fuck if I am going to cook for a few days.  I am going to do another dinner on Thursday.  Those invitations will go out tomorrow.  If you don’t get an invite and are in Santa Barbara and care to join us feel free to hit me up here and I will invite you.  The more the merrier as far as I am concerned.

Now I am drinking a nice bottle of Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand, listening to Drake.  I downloaded like every song he ever did or was featured on the other day and am now weeding through it all.  The guy shreds, but 200 songs is a lot to go through.  I am on number 85.  Pretty soon I am going to put on this new black on pink pinstripe pants I scored at a thrift store with the tags still on it for seven bucks while the actual store tag read $120, complemented by my nice black loafers and this poked doted black on black long sleeve button down I also scored for like 12 bucks.  I love thrift stores, did I mention the shirt is Armani.  I think some idiot at the store did not bother to look at the label.  Where am I headed flashing like this on a Sunday night.  Well the Wild Cat of course.

There she is my beloved cereal bowl filled with my favorite brand of cereal. Guess what my favorite cereal to eat is for 2 extra UCB points. Put your answer in the comments.

Posted in News From Lisanti Land, Surfing | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

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