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Posts Tagged ‘I love you mom’

This week’s UCB, well ok, more like this month’s makes of winner of Mauriello.  I know I have been slacking on the whole thing but I mean seriously the only participants at the moment are Kooky and Mauriello and I am fucking busy as shit between working, drinking and surfing.  If you want more UCBs then suggest more.  Also March is over on Saturday but I will honor any Power of Ten list that gets posted before 12am on April 1st and post it on Monday April 2nd.  Remember them things be worth 2 points and are with out a doubt some of the best blogs here for pure entertainment value.  John asked I write a blog about mothers and for whatever reason I feel sentimental at the moment so why the fuck  not.

First off John and I are both Italian and being brought up by Italian mothers were well raised(I know its hard to believe, but I do have manners and in most cases would consider myself a gentleman).  For my up bringing I thank my mother’s painstaking efforts to keep me a decent member of society.  In Italy there is a saying that roughly translates to “Italian men love their mothers first and foremost before any other woman in the world”.  To this day I have yet to meet a woman who has stacked up to my mother and certainly am not looking for that anyway.

I love my mother.  She gave me life .  It blows my mind that any female would want go through the entire pregnancy process to bring into the world a most likely ungrateful let down of an offspring.  I think maybe a let down is being a bit hard on myself.  These days I think, well I hope my mother can find a little pride in me.  I don’t blame her I definitely squandered a lot of opportunities, blew other ones, wasted various skill/talent/intelligence.  Hey we only go around once and she should have known from the get go that I was to beat to my own drum and it was not about to sound like the norm.

Despite the love I have for my mom there is also not a person on this planet that knows how to push  my buttons like she does.  Left in the same room with no escape from one another I am sure the two of us would tear each other to pieces.  If not physically then for sure emotionally and mentally.  Maybe that is why we have such a great relationship these days her and I because I live nearly 3,000 miles away and in a different time zone.   I think that separation allows  us to miss one another enough that when we converse and get together we over look the little stupidities we used to fight over and focus on making the most of the minimal amount of time we have allotted to spend together.

I have to honestly say I really do miss my mother.  For my entire life up until I moved out here to Santa Barbara I lived no further then a few miles from her door for more then a few months.  To be perfectly honest she is the closest friend I have ever known.  I am a very independent person and thinker.  As a result I have trouble getting along with others whom I may not understand, which encompasses 98% of the human race.  I don’t have an Oedipus complex so get your filthy minds out of the gutter for once.  Don’t worry I am sure there will be a dirty perverted blog to come at some point soon.

As a kid it was rather tough for me to make any friends because I did not know how to understand or control the level of aggravation playing with most other children gave me.  I would lash out ultimately causing problems and in some cases bodily harm to play mates.  I once hit a kid across the face with a toy truck and he had to get like eight stitches or something absurd like that.   It was not long before other children did not want to associate themselves with me and in the process caused my poor mother to be isolated as well, being no other mothers her age would spend time with her because of fear of my bad influence on their own children.   My mom became my friend and I hers.

I picked up a ton of great skills from the whole ordeal.  She was a math teacher and as an educator instilled the ideals in me how important it was to be an intelligent person.  I learned how to keep a clean house, dress, shop ( I can find a bargain on anything) cook, basic sewing.  You know how there are guys who can’t do shit for themselves and always have to rely on either there mother or girl friend to handle their domestic shit.  In most of my previous relationships I was the one handling my woman’s shit.  To this day I don’t leave my house with out my bed being made and the overall impression that I live in a neat and orderly home.  This way if you have an unexpected guest or a thief breaks in at least that person will respect your ability to have pride that you live in a decent home.

I tell my mother everything and always have.  I have little if any secrets from her.  I mean I have shared everything to fights I got into at school, to my first sexual experience to my current drinking problem.  There is no point in trying to hide anything from her anyway.  I mean when I lived close and saw her she could tell right by my demeanor if something was bothering me.  These days she can tell just by how my voice sounds over the phone.   Its uncanny actually.

For example I called my mother Wednesday, I call her every week and have whenever I have been away from her as long as I have breathed air.  I was telling her what a fun time I had out at the bar Sunday night and she immediately replied “oh, that means you blacked out and don’t remember most of the details”.  I was stunned for a second.  She knows her son.  At the moment she does not judge me, I hope.  She knows there are times in my life where I need the distraction in order to transition into a new phase.  At the moment I have been in a year long transitional period.  Things are getting better.

There was a time when I used to hate her.  I blamed her for all of my problems in life.  Its human nature to blame everyone and everything else but yourself in times of adversity.  Once I stopped playing the blame game and realized that my life is whatever I make it to be therefore can only be blamed on my own personal decisions and actions I gave up being angry at her.  There was a period when I stopped calling her or going over her house out of absolute spite.  Family vendettas are a terrible thing and unfortunately being Italian I have witnessed too many.  Life is too short to cut someone off cause of a disagreement over most likely stupidity.  This whole life, whatever it is, is rather stupid when you come to think about it.

I know it makes me laugh.  I love my mother and I thank her for everything she has ever done for me and will do for me.  Sure some of her parenting methods may have been a bit abstract at times, but if it was not for her I would not be the man I am today.  Mom’s don’t really get a lesson on how to be a good mom.  They just do what they think is right for their children and mine did the best she could.  I hope yours did too.

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