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Posts Tagged ‘Family’

How a Christmas of Epic Proportions Led to Absolute Dread

Posted in Life, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , , , , , , , , , on December 27, 2011| 12 Comments »

Merry fucking belated Christmas everyone.  How was your holiday? I actually don’t really care to be honest.  Wow I’m mean, maybe even a slight touch Ebenezer Scrooge in me.  I guess I am still waiting for the ghosts to show up and give the incentive I need to change my life.   In a way that did sort of happen this December 25th except it did not come in the form of apparitions, but instead rounds upon rounds of tequila shots.  Nothing says happy holidays like complete and total inebriation.

We are getting ahead of ourselves at the moment for there is a lot tell.  I do believe you will find it a rather entertaining yet somewhat disturbing read.  Then again that is the case with most of what I post here.  This is going to be a two parter as the amount of insanity and ridiculousness that has gone down in the last 48 hours even blows my mind.  Shit it may run three parts and grab one of the top ten for 2011.

Christmas as most of you know is far from my favorite holiday.  When I was ten I contracted phenomena on Christmas and almost died. My first girlfriend and love dumped me on Christmas Eve when I was 15 years old over the phone.  As a result I ended up cultivating an unnatural disdain for women folk that lasted for nearly a decade and most likely still lingers in my subconscious.  You can sure as fuck bet Adrienne did not help that case either.  I really need to move on.

I read some study on getting over hard break ups and it said the amount of time it takes to heal is about one month for every three you were together.  So I guess I am looking at around eight months.  Yeah! Just two more months to go.  Alright.  Enough of that this story has nothing to do with her other then the fact that it would not have taken place had she still been with me.  I promise I will not mention such again for this series.

When I was 18 I was coming up the stairs to my apartment during my tenure at Berklee in Boston and the strap to my saxophone gig back broke sending my priceless tenor saxophone careening down three flights of steps.  At 19 I was arrested for a certain unpleasantness I would rather not discuss on my blog.  All I will say is be smart and stay on the right side of the law.  It’s not worth it.

At 21 my apartment caught fire as a direct result of faulty wiring on my Christmas tree.  My ex-wife and I lost all of our belongings in the fire and had to move in with my parents for six months while we got back on our feet. When I was twenty three my ex-wife broke her back in three places.  Our Christmas present that year was that after a long road of rehab she would make a full recovery.  At twenty six my ex-wife and I decided to split up during Christmas time.

My string of Christmas bad tidings is ludicrous and the main reason I decided to sit this one out this year.  There is not one Christmas decoration in my home. I just could not handle going home to New Jersey.  Hold on what am I saying.  Home is Santa Barbara California.  The last three years I have been celebrating Christmas with my family whom I love and adore.  This year my head was not there.

I needed some time for myself for a change.  All fall between work and school I have been running myself ragged.  Add the many bouts with heavy depression and even heavier drinking, throw in a heroin addict roommate and you have quite the aperture to over come.  By December I was spent physically, emotionally and mentally.  Just the thought of going home and facing my entire family and the questions of how things were going was too much to bare.

I hate lying and I hate lying to my loved ones more.  If I were to tell them all the truth about things I would just get countless lectures about my poor life choices and how I should cut my losses and move back east.  Not to mention the fact that my cousin just got engaged.  Him and I are the same age and have been pitted against each other by our parents for as long as I can remember.

The two of us don’t compete, but I constantly had to hear about how great my cousin Rich was doing and how much I was blowing it.  I love my cousin and wish him the best in life.  We are different people making a comparison is completely absurd.  My sister is toting around her fiancé as well.  I just could not deal with seeing two happy couples on the verge of spending the rest of their lives together in what I hope will be both harmony and bliss.  Not after all I have been through.

I canceled my plans and decided to hang up in Santa Barbara with Kooky, Ryan and this dude West who decided to come up from San Diego, another recent New Jersey expatriate, to not spend the holiday alone.  Since I am off from work till January sixth I was really looking forward to kicking back, surfing and relaxing.  Just as most happenings in Lisanti Land things got exacerbated rather fast.

So now the stage is set for a tragedy or a comedy or maybe a little bit of both.  Tune in tomorrow to find out exactly how Christmas this year got even a little too gnarly even for me.

Christmas Van

Merry Christmas…I don’t think this guy is allowed to go by elementary schools and hand out candy canes.

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Mi Famiglia

Posted in Deep Thoughts, Life, User Choice BLog, tagged , , , on November 17, 2011| 16 Comments »

This week’s UCB makes a winner of Nick the Kook with an old topic suggestion of “Family”  from I believe way back in August.  I have been mulling it over in my head literally for the last two months or so.  That is how you know you dropped a good topic when I stew on it for months.  Then again I stew on most things.  I think my life would be much easier if I just stopped thinking so much.  Maybe I just need to smoke more pot.  Kook earns one point for his efforts. Remember everyone November is half over so get your “Power of ten” lists in asap.

Its funny I really did not know how to approach this topic.  Initially I had dismissed it all together under the premise that I had written a similar blog back in the myspace.com days and that was if my memory serves me correct (it never does) was also a UCB and a rather negative take on the whole institution.  Well these days my thoughts are a bit different thus warranting another blog.

Blame it all on Chicken Enchilada Friday.  Last week I had to roll 834 enchiladas for dinner (if you are lost I run a small Mexican Station at the college I cook at for dinner Wednesday through Friday for more on that see  What it all Amounted to). Since I have been working at Westmont Enchilada days have been like a family affair.  Everyone in the kitchen pitches in and helps roll a few helping whomever has to make it happen on their menu finish in an hour rather then four.  It was my time of need and everyone helped me and it warmed my cold black heart  just a bit.

My Genetic Family

I spent the greater portion of my life hating my family.  I hated living with them, hated visiting, despised large family  gatherings such as holidays, weddings, or party’s.  Distance really does in my case make the heart grow fonder, as the phrase goes.  These days living in California completely across the country from the family I grew to hate, I have now grown to love once again.  I see my folks about once a year, maybe twice if I am lucky.  Its on the fault of both parties.  I hate New Jersey, which is where they live and they hate California, where I live.

Since we are a bunch of stubborn backward Italians no one bothers to compromise.  So I in recent years have actually made a trip home for the holidays to see my folks and even participate in a larger family Christmas gathering.  Its hard for me cause December is one of the few months where epic west swells are possible.  One year I missed near epic El Capitan, Sand Bar and Naples to visit my parents in South Florida where the waves were barely waist high.

You got me I was  bit sour on that one, but these days I have in my current vintage have reached a slightly heightened level of maturity (don’t worry I still spent about 30 minutes watching a flock of sea gulls fight off a flock of crows for a loaf of bread and loved every minute of it the other day.  If that proves anything of my “maturity,” see the surflog for more about that.).  With this recent yet minuscule ontogenesis in mentality I have come to realize that there are some things in life that are worth missing the occasional day of surfing for.  Heck these days I miss more sessions to alcohol abuse then I can keep track of (that is a lie they are all accounted for in the surflog so I can loath myself for my stupidity at a later date).

The fact of the matter is I love my family and it took moving across the country to realize just how important all of them are to me.  My parents raised me well.  I know right now I may not  the man I could be, but with the morals and good teachings instilled on me by them, when I gather the strength to pull my head out of my ass and achieve greatness it will be my family I thank first.  I actually do look forward to the few opportunities I get to visit and spend quality time with them and that is what all that time is now since it is so short, Quality Time.  I think we as people take for granted the ones closest to us and never realize just how much they actually mean to us till they are gone.

The Court of Lisanti Land

I have always kept a small yet tight nit group of friends around me.  These people I consider family even though they are not blood.  I would give my life for any of them as I would any of my actual blood relations.  I do every thing in my power to make sure they are in good spirit. Currently I have Kooky Kyle and my buddy Ryan living in my apartment for cheap, while I take on a bit of a financial loss.  having them here has been an amazing boost to my mental health and that one can not put a price tag on.  Over the summer I felt so alone and empty.

Now instead of coming home to a vacuous home my lair is bustling with activity.  Whether it is the entertaining antics of Kooky while he is stoned, or Ryan and his girl Addy enjoying each other’s company, the family meals Kooky and I prepare for everyone on Mondays and Tuesdays or when I bring left overs home from work and they jump on it.  I even enjoy the chorus of snores that come out of their room.  They brought life back to my somber cadaverous existence I was eking out.

Then there are my friends that live afar now but  once were active participants of the  court. Fact of the matter is if you have been a member of the court  and you know who you are then you are my family forever regardless of what goes down.    I have a few guys that I regularly surf with as well whom I would also consider family.  To me family are the people who help you to advance through life in a positive way. People who only want to see the best for you and don’t want to see you fall.  In a world full of scoundrels its nice to know I have so many genuine people around me.

A Family of My Own?!?

Ten years ago I would have rather have been raped by an electric eel then even have to think about starting a family.  Five years ago still not a twinkle in my eye.  Two years ago I was adamant on the topic.  The answer was always absolutely not.  These days as I watch the juncture of time pass by me empty and lonely I think a bit differently on the subject.  A wife, kids, some type of normal established life seems oddly appealing to me and yet at the same time completely unattainable.  Nor should I be aloud another chance.  I had mine and it passed.  Maybe it is only fair.  If my fate is to walk the earth for eternity alone so be it.  I will always have my court and their families to watch over.

My amazing family and I this past summer in NYC

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