Posts Tagged ‘Puffin rape’

I declare this THE SUMMER OF ALF! MEOW

It was a marvelous day in late Spring on the hit television series Seinfeld, Season 8, Episode 22 (I know Im obsessed), when George Costanza (Micheal Alexander) finds out that the Yankees are going to pay him three months severance.  Upon receiving these wonderful tidings he stands up rants about how he will use his time and then “declares it to be the summer of George”.  Everyone has been patiently waiting on the definition of THE SUMMER OF ALF and what it is all about.  Well its time folks, its time!

Before I do I find it most pertinent to set the scene with a little back story.  I am as wordy as Faulkner or Hawthorne.  Too bad I am not nearly as profound and I don’t get paid by the word or at all for that matter.  As most of you know I work as a chef over at Westmont College.  One of the many perks of working for an educational institution is that you get the same breaks as the students.  What does that mean for me; summers off!!! Unfortunately I am not paid for this time.  Luckily my Uncle Sam steps in every year and invests in my vacation.  I’m talking about unemployment people.  Its not my fault there is no work for me.

Every year I am off from the first week in May until the last week or so in August.  This allows for plenty of time for activities.  Last summer I blew it.  I squandered those months moping around Santa Barbara in the hopes that my life would be taken untimely in a horribly painful occurrence.  It didn’t happen.  Why you ask?  Cause I could not get over the loss of my ex-girlfriend.  I really hope unless your new here you did not need that question to be answered.

Fast forward nine months give or take.  My roommate Dan and I were sitting in the living room and I was being all introspective about how I wanted to start living again and making the most out of my life.  No more self pity, loathing, anger, tears, bullshit.  Later that night I wrote “Of Things to Come” which was a comical yet very serious look at the things in my life I wanted to improve on over the coming months.  Upon reading it Dan declared that the summer of 2012 was going to be none other then the Summer of Alf.

I know what your thinking, why is not called The Summer of Chris?  Alfie had just as hard of a time adjusting to our new life as I did.  He had to deal with all the gnarl of me, heroin addict roommates, becoming a heroin addict himself, fleas and overall feline aggravation.  Now a year later his coat is shinny and full again, he is content in his new home and has a minimal amount of fleas.   I say why not call it The summer of Alf! Is that not what we ask in Lisanti Land when someone asks the question “why”?

WHY NOT! That is what The Summer of Alf is all about.  Its about taking the bull by the horns and seizing every minute of every day.  I am not going to squander a moment.  Its all going to be done in a positive, classy manner.  I am not going to rehash “Of Things to Come” you can go back and read it for yourselves.  I am going to have fun, get things done, be the remarkable, strong honorable, trust worthy person I had set out to be at the very start.  People are going to look up to me cause I am a solid human being and not some circus sideshow act.

My mother wrote me a letter when I first moved out here to California.  In the letter she discusses how she believed in me and how I was capable of doing anything I wanted as long as I put my mind to it.  That she was always hard on me cause she expected nothing but the best I could do.   I found that letter while cleaning out my junk draws a month before any of this Summer of Alf business even started and hung it up on my wall.

Its been a long time since I have done the absolute best I could possibly do.  Its about time I started doing it again.  The Summer of Alf has no limitations, no preconceived notions, no bull shit.  The Summer of Alf is the beginning of the rest of my life.  Big things are coming and expect to read and be entertained by all of it.  In the first week I threw an eight guest four course dinner party and just got back from a ridiculous jaunt up in San Fransisco, which you are soon to read about!


The Summer of Alf is all about Puffins doing lude activities on cereal boxes? So much for trying to be classy.

In all seriousness what it all comes down to is the taking things in strides. Me already making the most out of the Summer of Alf. Look at the size of that cup!

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