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Archive for December, 2010

This week the UCB makes a victor of Nick the Kook with a topic that I sort of mocked him a bit for suggesting.  After giving it some further thought on the matter and being that “Multiplicity” is one of my favorite films I decided to give the kid the green light.  What did Nick suggest you ask? “What if you could take a pill and wake up the next morning with an exact copy of yourself”.

 

Now don’t think this was an original idea for the chap, on the contrary.  In the masterpiece surf film “Campaign” by Taylor Steele this was one of the skits from the movie staring Chris Malloy.  Basic plot was that Malloy went to sleep after taking a medication called “Double Up” and in the morning he woke up next to an exact copy of himself.  Sounds bizarre for sure but it was actually a rather entertaining skit as far as surf films go.

 

For arguments sake lets say this “Double Up” drug was real and I gave it ago and woke up next to myself.  I don’t really know how to feel about it.  Im a pretty big asshole and barely like one of me as it is let alone two.  Can you imagine the world with two Chris Lisanti’s?  It’s a rather horrifying thought.

 

Then on further thought I realized what if this second Lisanti was subservient to me?  I could make him do all the bullshit I hate in life while I could do the other bullshit I enjoy doing, like surfing.  I would make his ass go to work for me; heck he would work as much as possible to support my life style.  I would make him my own personal Joe Friday as well.

 

Or maybe we could be friends him and I.  The Ultimate companion.  Imagine having a wing man at the bar that was an exact copy of you.  Except he would not be an exact copy of you but of me.  Together we would clean up.  Surfing we could control all sorts of line-ups.  Shit we could probably take over the world because your definitely always going to agree with yourself.

 

In the end Im sure we would end up killing each other or end up in jail or killing ourselves because like I said the world is only big enough for one Chris Lisanti.  A redundancy would most likely cause a huge riff in the space time continuum ending existence of life on earth as we know it.   Maybe that is what is going to happen in 2012 I am going to receive an exact copy of me.  People have been known to call me the anti-Christ.

Whats more dangerous The Joker or two Chris Lisantis

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After writing yesterdays waste of time misery blog I must say I went to sleep quite sullen at my somewhat grim situation.  I mean compared to starving kids in Ethiopia mine was not such a bad plight, but this is not Ethiopia, Im not starving and I could not give a shit about those who are.  All I want to do is surf and it always seems like that is the hardest entity in my life, thus ultimately ruining my life leaving me more times then not dissatisfied and miserable. Well now you know where I got the idea for the title of the website anyway.

I have never really been a religious man, sure I was brought up Roman Catholic although that was more to appease my mother then for me.  I had a brief stint as a Buddhist which lasted all of 5 minutes when I realized that meditation was the most boring thing I had ever embarked upon.  These days I settle for plain Agnostic.  Last night before I shut my eyes I made a bold move toward paganism and said a prayer to the Surf Gods.  Now I dont really know if there are surf gods, but I have always imagine them to be Tiki type creatures and of course Duke Kahanamoku, the man who single handedly brought surfing to the entire world.

I did not really pray to them but more or less made an appeal to their kindness considering the sacrifices I have made for surfing in my life and my all out devotion to it.  I simply asked to give me the strength to surf this swell despite my debilitated state.

When I woke up this morning I could barely get out of bed my back hurt so bad.  I momentarily considered calling in sick to work yet after realizing I could not go with the financial loss sucked it up and got dressed.  All shift I was in great pain between my back and my wrist making me set on not surfing.  Then miraculously as I was walking back to my car my back did not hurt very much at all.  I decided to drive to Rincon and if it looked worthy I would go out and just cruise all mellow style.

Well I never got there.  No sir.  As I was driving by Sharks Cove I noticed an handful of guys surfing it.  Then as I passed Santa Claus it was solid overhead.  With both those indicators I made a U-turn and headed straight for Loons.  I figured worst case scenario if I got skunked it was not like I was in the shape to surf anyway.  Turns out I scored it, the biggest I have ever gotten the place.   It was solid head high with the occasional bigger set, oil glass with only seven people out, a far better scenario then Rincon which I heard was packed.

Killian Garland was tearing it apart.  I somehow managed to snag a few great rides despite being a bit restricted with my range of motion.  Some poor kid took a shallow one and ate it over the rocks breaking some ribs.  At first I was like shit are we all going to have to carry him out of here, the spot is about a quarter of a mile beach hike to get to. Luckily some other guy out there drove his truck out onto the sand to the spot to rescue the ailing grom.  Besides that it was a session for the books.

Thank you surfing gods for coming through for me.  Every now and then you smile upon me.  I know this blog is 88.7 percent negative but every so often its nice to have an encouraging post.

The Surf Gods in carving form

The Duke has his own US postage stamp seems pretty god like to me

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Mother fucker, two steps forward and ten steps back .  I dont ask for much out of life (thats a lie, but I get the most out of what I am given and that is statement you can take to the bank).  For the last five days or so I have been nursing a mysterious wrist injury (although Im sure I can trace it back to work)  which has been a literal pain but just a slight hindrance on my everyday life.  Work is tough; try chopping up food and lifting heavy shit all day with a hurt right wrist.   Surfing was a little annoying having to favor my left arm for both standing and duck dives, but I got through it.

This afternoon I went to Rincon not expecting much more then a grovel session of which I received.  Lindsay was out and I had not surfed with her in like two weeks so I figured what the hey, I will get a little paddle in.  Around my 7th or 8th wave I pulled a backside reverse and somehow tweaked my back again probably from the wind up going into the maneuver.  Immediately upon riding the move out I knew I was fucked feeling very similar to how my back felt just two weeks ago when I hurt it at work.

Now with the first solid west swell of season due to hit Thursday, my day off, which I was planning on spending surfing all day it looks like I will be sidelined yet again.  If this is old age I dont want it.  Heck Im only 29.  Im not that fricken old yet.  When I was in New Zealand I traveled with this dude Jeff from Sand Diego who was 29 and he was always complaining about all sorts of little ailments.  One day his knee hurt or if not his knee then a shoulder or he would tweak his back and have to sit out a day or two.  I was always like “Dude your only 29 your not old enough for all these little problems”.  At the time I was 24 about to turn 25 and he would always respond “Just wait I had no problems either till I was this age”.

Turns out the fuck was right.  I wonder what happened to that guy.  We got into a stupid fight over me not letting him use the kitchen of the resort I worked at because I was cleaning it and he had to wait like everyone else till it opened back up a noon.  I mean the place was only closed from 10:30 to Noon giving me barely an hour and a half to clean it and the four bathrooms attached.  Dont think it was easy to clean a kitchen area used by thirty to forty people a day.  Anyway he thought I was being a dick and a bad friend not letting him in to cook a meal, but I was just trying to do my fucking  job.

After that he checked out of his room got in his car and drove off.  I never saw or heard from the dude since.  Its gnarly how people can be.  We were pretty tight and to go bail like that was just plain retarded if you ask me.  Whatever this blog is not about Jeff or New Zealand or friendship type relations so I wont waste any more time talking about it.  What was I whining about again.  Oh yeah my fucked up back and wrist both of which hurt right now at this second as I am hunched over my computer and using my hands to type this.  Two actions that are sure to not help me feel any better.Why am I continuing on?  Cause Im a stupid schmuck

Fuck you, fuck me, fuck my back, fuck my life, fuck this blog.  Seriously how tired are all of you of my insipid bitching.  “My back hurts, I dinged my surf board, California is too crowded, I have no money, I hate people etc, etc, etc, etc times infinity”.  God Im a whiny little bitch.  I cant believe anybody reads this garbage or that Im writing it or that you are still reading it.  Fuck off, Im going to walk into a bank tomorrow at lunch hour with an automatic weapon (taking full advantage of every American’s god given right to bare arms), shoot everyone inside, wait for the cops to come and then step out side and go out in blaze of glory as they shoot me up full of lead live on the News.  Good night.

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Yeah we all knew not to expect much from this coming NW season, but then fall kicked into high gear with plenty of although not epic very consistently fun surf.  November opened up strong with a handful of days at Rincon and the first signs of town breaking.  The first half of the month I found plenty of surf to entertain myself with.  Then in the back half the flat spells from summer we all thought were past came back.  It was not just Santa Barbara that was flat, I mean that is a given since SB is the only water front town that might as well be surrounded by land as far as surf goes.  The whole fucking state was pretty much flat.

Hopefully December will pick things back up a bit and with the incoming forecast at least it looks like the week should be rather fruitful here.  Maybe it will get the ball rolling and we can get a few more fun days this season and I wont have to kill myself. Here are the numbers for the Month of November and the top sessions.

Number of Sessions – 20
Days Surfed – 19
Average Wave Height – 2-3+ft

Surf Spots

Rincon – 8
New Jetty – 3
Emma Wood – 3
C Street – 1
River Mouth – 1
Santa Clause Lane – 1
Oxnard – 1
Little Rincon – 1
Hammonds – 1

Top 3 Sessions:

3: 11/10/10 PM Session – 1-3+ft, Santa Claus Lane
Local wind swell in Santa Barbara is so aberrant it makes finding the right place to surf a little mission.  One day Rincon will be head high the next flat.  The thing about wind swell is that the angle is always changing making certain spots that never break fun and the standards poor.  It all comes down to how hard you want to search.  Today I was not in the mood nor did I have the time to go on a proverbial goose chase.  I headed straight to Rincon after observing some solid swell at Santa Claus yet when I got to Rincon the wind was South although it was NW and offshore up at Santa Claus.  I decided to just drive back there and see what there was to surf or if it was just a freeway mirage.  Turns out it was offshore/side shore three heads spread along the three mile long stretch of beach, waist to stomach high with the occasion chest high nug. Overall it was mostly walled with some racy corners.  I had one really fun Backside tube and brought down a good backside air reverse and a front side ally oop that I was pleased with.


2: 11/5/10 PM Session – 2-4ft, Rincon
As I was driving back from the previous session below I saw tons of waves peeling down Rincon with a very light crowd, maybe fifty guys along the entire point.  Needless to say I pulled off the highway got dressed and powered a second session.  The cove although fun looked pretty long boarded out and smaller then the top.  I went up to Lower Indicator/high River Mouth and snagged a bunch of great five to six hit waves.  I even managed a back door barrel through lower River Mouth.  Then after about an hour and a half that south wind caught up with me and so did the crowd.  It was all good I was pretty much over it by then anyway.

1: 11/6/10 PM Session – 3-5ft, Rincon
What a day.  I could not believe my eyes when driving by Rincon this afternoon that it still had waves and better waves then the day before with better conditions.  I started up top at River Mouth looking for the barrel but although I found some pretty ridiculous ones that I managed to connect from River Mouth through middle Cove I did not find that barrel I was hunting.  After an hour up top I made my way into the cove which courtesy of the negative tide was pretty much flawless with plenty of consistency and only about forty heads out. Most were visitors giving me the local edge.  I only got about a little over an hour and a half but my legs were spent from all the long rides anyway.  As I got out of the water towards dusk I contemplated the fact that every wave I caught this session even my throw aways (meaning I only got eight turns on them) could probably have been the best wave of someone’s life, but for me it was just another day at Rincon.  Im pretty fortunate to have the life I live.

November was all about getting Skunked!!!!!!!!!

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Tilapia in a Lemon Dill Sauce
With Brown Rice Risotto In a Garlic Basil Sauce and a Baked Potato

Tilapia is the poor man’s fish and myself being a poor man on occasion will resort to this thrift of the sea.  At 2.99lb you cant go wrong.  By itself tilapia is a far from a tasty fish but accompanied with this Lemon Dill Sauce it is rather scrumptious.  You know a cut of tilapia to the untrained eye looks a bit like cat fish so one could fool unknowing guests and they will think pure elegance while eating smut.

Cost: 8.75 including sides
Feeds about four people

 

Ingredient List:

  • Tilapia – 4 4oz pieces
  • Lemon Juice – 1 cup
  • Dill Leaves – 2oz (Dry)
  • Olive Oil – 3 Table spoons
  • Garlic – 1 ½ Clove (minced)
  • Salt  – 2 Tea Spoons
  • Pepper – 2 Tea Spoons
  • Butter – 8 oz
  • Corn Starch – 4 oz

 

Step 1: Marinate Tilapia – In a small mixing bowl combine ¼ cup of Lemon Juice and/or squeezed lemons, ½ table spoon of Dill Leaves, 1 table spoon of Olive Oil, ½ clove of Garlic, Salt, Pepper and stir together.  Lay tilapia pieces in a baking pan large enough to accommodate and pour contents of mixing bowl over pieces making sure to cover both sides. Bake in oven at 350 for around ten to fifteen minutes.

 

Step 2: Make Lemon Dill Sauce – In a small saucepot melt butter (8oz).  When melted combine Lemon Juice (1/2 cup) , Dill Leaves (2 oz), Olive Oil (2 table spoons), Garlic (1 clove), Salt (1 teaspoon), Pepper (1 teaspoon) and bring to a boil.  Let boil for three minutes and stir constantly

 

Step 3: Create a Slurry To Thicken Sauce – Bring down the flame to low. Take 4 oz of cornstarch and put it in just enough cool water to dissolve it.  When corn starch is dissolved stir it into sauce.  Turn off heat and stir.  As sauce cools it will get thicker as a result of the slurry.

Step 4: Serve – Pour sauce over cooked Tilapia.

 

Sides:

Baked Potato: Take a russet potato and wash it.  Bake in preheated oven 375 F for around 45 minutes till soft.

Brown Rice Risotto in a Garlic Basil Sauce

Your finished fish.

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Kooky Kyle takes this week’s UCB in what I have to say was a hard fought battle.  There were so many good suggestions this week it took me nearly a half hour to go through and select one.  Ok that’s a bit of a lie I was also chatting with like three people on Facebook as well.  Thank you everyone for taking it up a notch from the poor showing of the previous week.

Apparently the ASP World Tour is planning on doing one of the “World Tour” events on the East Coast US to go along with world class venues such as Pipe, J-Bay, G-Land and Trestles.  Kooky asked my opinion on the situation.  Being a former professional surfer and resident of the east coast I find myself more then qualified to give thoughts on the subject.  For more information about this event or the WT and ASP click the following links: http://blogs.surfermag.com/office-blog/the-world-tour’s-next-stop-east-coast-usa-2/ and http://www.aspworldtour.com/ .

I guess the first major issue would be is the east coast a viable contest destination for that caliber of surfing.  It certainly can be. There are some serious beach breaks very comparable to France or Brazil two places that both host a World Tour contest.  There are reefs and point breaks up in the New England area that are more then able to produce world class waves on the right day.  The key word is “right day”.

The East Coast is fickle with a swell window that travels the wrong way making it very short.  Weather is tricky considering that your heaviest surf usually comes in the frigid late fall early winter time period and I don’t think the top 32 surfers in the world are about to don a 5/4/3 when they could be at a handful of other destinations with as good if not better quality.  That is a guarantee.

Why is the ASP entertaining such an idea then?  Let me be the first to say its not for the quality of waves, but the quality of the market.  Over the last four years the tour is constantly getting more commercial oriented moving away from the “Dream Tour” surfers once fought hard to achieve.  Face the facts the ASP is a business and so is professional surfing.  The more fans, the more t-shirts that get sold and the more money that is produced.

This is how the world works.  The east coast of the US is a huge market, a rich market and a stoked one.  Overall surfers on the east coast care way more about surfing and having the latest gadgets/paraphernalia then out here on the west coast and with all the down time between swells have more time to think about it.  Shit I know when I lived out there I bought all tons of useless crap and over priced clothing because I thought that was what a surfer was suppose to wear and do.

It was not till I moved out west where surfing became an everyday occurrence that I realized what a crock it all was and began wearing $3 dollar Kmart t-shirts if it meant more time surfing and less time working.  Take the Brazil event as a perfect example the last six years they have held it at Santa Catarina, Brazil, one of the most consistent waves in the country, yet this year they are moving it to Rio, a way worse wave location.  Rio is a way bigger venue, which will bring out more crowds and sell more advertising space.  Remember there was a time back in the 80’s when the ASP held a contest in a wave pool in the middle of Pennsylvania.

Where and when should this event take place?   To me the answer is obvious and should be held either the end of September or any time in October.  The water is still warm and at this point there are both Nor’easter swells and hurricane swells on offer.  As far as a location goes I think a mobile Hatteras or Outer Banks, North Carolina event would work the best.  Cape Hatteras Light House is arguably the most consistent spot on the East Coast and then there are also plenty of other options depending on swell and wind.

Certainly the beach breaks there as good as France.  During the time period I have mentioned it is very rare to go a week with out a decent wave.  I remember years where I would get ten to twelve days out there of straight surf at least chest high or better.  Out of all my travels it is still one of my favorites to visit and one of the entities I miss the most about leaving the east.

People would be stoked too.  No body loves surf stars like east coasters do.  I know I still get star struck when I see Dane Reynolds paddle out and blow up Emma Wood, an everyday thing around here.  I nearly fall over every time Slater or Tom Curren make everyone else look like kooks at Rincon.  It would definitely be a moneymaker and you know what that is why there are commercial sporting events in the first place; to make money.

I am all for a WT East Coast event.  I watched my favorite pros surf shitty waves at nearly every other venue on tour even some of the ones that were suppose to be all time.  Why not see them grovel in my old stomping grounds.

Hatteras. Good enough for the pros??????

You be the Judge.

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Baked Potato

I know it seems like a really simple one but still something I think is worth a few moments to review considering the baked potato is not only a staple side dish in American Cuisine but also in many recipes a key starting ingredient.  So I thought I would share my thoughts on this simple yet tasty subject.

Total Cost: $.10
Feeds 1 person per potato

Ingredient List

  • Russet Potato
  • Salt – Pinch
  • Pepper – Pinch
  • Olive Oil

Step 1: Wash Potato – Personally I feel that Russet Potatoes make the best baked potato based on size and density, but you can bake any type of potato you wish although the times will be either longer or shorter depending.  Yams or sweet potatoes will be longer, while red or yellow potatoes will be a little bit shorter.  Before using any vegetable one must always wash it thoroughly.

Step 2: Prep for cooking – With a fork poke holes around entire potato to allow it to get some air to the center.  Next rub olive oil over entire outside surface.  Sprinkle on some salt and pepper

Step 3: Bake – Preheat Oven to 350, place potato in a roasting pan.  Let roast for 45-55 minutes.  Potato should be soft to squeeze if done.

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