Surfing Ruined My Life

It all comes down to the wire.  Not really I guess in truth the UCB technically ended as of April 1st which was yesterday, but since its my blog and my rules I dont really give a shit.  At SurfingRuinedMyLife.net I do whatever the fuck I want.  I wish I could say the same for my life.  I think at one point I lived like that.  These days though I find myself conforming to the machine more and more everyday.  That is an entirely different blog all together.  What the fuck am I talking about?  The last UCB of the winter quarter of course.

Its been a great quarter and a close race.  Kooky Kyle snags the last official blog of the winter quarter.  A long time ago way back “when I had the red and black lumber jack with the hat to match” (where are those fun lyrics from,  first person to post it in the comments gets an extra half point for the quarter) at the beginning of the quarter I threw down a challenge in Groovin’ High to ask a UCB about my mental check list.  At the time no one ever bothered to look at that page and I actually updated it regularly.  I assumed no one would ever get it.  They say when you “Assume you make an ass of me and an ass of you”  (first person to name the television show this quote was first used on will also receive a bonus half point).

Who ended up getting it?  None other then the UCB King himself Kooky Kyle.  I never wrote the blog out of spite most likely, but all jokes aside it really is a good topic and one I feel is worth covering.  After all this blog is about me and its hard to truly understand how Chris Lisanti ticks with out an explanation of my mental check list.

I dont really know the origin of it.   The list may have started in the womb for all I know.  Priority one get the fuck out of this place.  Basically what my mental check list is, is a list of things I have to get done in some length of time.  I know that sounds rather vague and confusing.  It gets worse.  Out of this list I have both a long list, a short list and a mandatory list depending on the period of time.  For example, my eventual move to New Zealand and getting my sheep farm is on the long term list.

Organized people write these types of things down in planners or on calenders or other entities of this type.  I however have it all floating around my head with fictitious dead lines that are constantly not being met.  First priority is the mandatory list, which are the items that need getting done for my life to keep on its present course.  These have actual physical dead lines that have to be met.  They are things like paying my rent, showing up to work, my class work, bills etc.  I hate these because I am tied down by actual dead lines meaning it will probaly get there late and I will face some kind adversity as a result, which will ultimately be a pain in my ass and make me angry.  We all know Im not a fun person to be around when Im angry.

The next level is the short  list, which are items that need to get done in a certain amount of time but the period is more vague or an extended period of time.  This includes all sorts of fun things.  The Coffe Table Saga is a perfect example.  That thing has been on the list for almost over a year now.   My herb garden is on this list, all sorts of little chores that need doing around the house are on the list.  Getting a hair cut has been on the list since the fall when I got my last hair cut.  I may have to move that one up to a higher priority before I look even more ridiculous then I do already.  Designing SurfingRuinedMyLife.net was on this list for like three years before it actually got done.  Bottom line if an item gets on this list it will get done, but the real question is not if, but when…..

The list is a bit crazy and drives some of the people in my life batty.  I know Sindia hated the mental check list back when we were together.  I think Ade’s has just at this point learned to live with it.   My Dad thinks Im a moron as a result of the list on most occasions but he too has learned how to work with in the system to help me not sink in matters in life like my taxes, finances and other legal matters.  I think if not for the wisdom of how the real world works from my father I would be either, dead, on the street or in jail.  Your the man Dad, dont ever die or I will be lost.

So that is a brief (yea if you call a 1000 words brief!) idea of the list.  Now Im not expecting any of you to understand or even be able to grasp it.  Shit I have no idea how to get my arms around it and it belongs to me.  I just thought it would be fun to let everyone a little deeper into the retardation of Lisanti Land and why it is so utterly dysfunctional.

There will be no UCB this week being the break week between the quarters.  The Spring quarter will begin with first blog to be written somewhere around April 14th.  Look for the winners blog in place of the UCB this week.   I cant really say who it is although if I had to wager my money is on Kooky, but one thing is for sure it is a close one this quarter.