Well it all started or ended I should say two months ago (Read Bowing Out and One Last Perfect Day blogs if you are a new reader. To my old readers Im sorry for the constant relinks but I have recently picked up a bunch of new readers who missed what I would consider two of the best blogs I have ever written.). Since as most of you know things here in Lisanti Land have been a bit dicey, somber and even a bit morbid at times. That was my grieving process in action. I went through about two cups of sadness, a touch of anger, a bit of despair, a pinch self pernicious and 32 ounces of denial.
The denial really was the toughest part for me and the one that was most crippling. I kept thinking she would come back and that I actually would take her back. Why would I ever want to return to a situation so fucked up as the one I found myself in three months ago? How could I have ever thought I could share the same air space with someone who could treat another human being, especially one whom she supposedly loved and who loved her back, so vile disgusts me now.
Monday was the big day for me, July 4th. I celebrated out nations birthday and what would have been our two year anniversary finally unpacking the remainder of articles I had piled up in the corner of my room. MY ROOM! I hung all my old pictures on the walls, put up some new ones there was no room for when she lived in my home. MY HOME! MY LIFE!!!! By doing this I accepted that fact of it being my life and no one else’s. I did not only accept it I embraced it. I was an amazing, great person before I met her and lived a beautiful life, which I enjoyed. Now I am going to start living again.
I am through living in the past. No, the life of Chris Lisanti exists in the present and the future looks bright, spectacular even. There was one more integral thing I needed to do, something I have been thinking about for the past six months. I wanted to cut my hair. A new style for a new me. A drastic hair change for me is a huge step. Keep in mind I have had the same hair style since I was 23.
I was ready to get the ball rolling about a month ago, but I needed to pick a style and then find a stylist I trusted and who would not charge me an arm and a leg. My friend Pepper helped me narrow down a few possibilities using her 19 year old perspective. Then my friend Jamie came through with a stylist, her stylist, Elyse. Right from the get go I just knew this girl was going to be the one to create a wonderful new look for me. She took the time to feel out my hair profile and then went to town. If your in Santa Barbara and in need of a spectacular hair cut let me know and I will connect you with Elyse. She will do you right.
As she hacked off more and more hair I began to get very apprehensive and even a bit remorseful of my hasty decision. When all was said and done and she combed it out for me I was grinning from ear to ear. Not to float my own boat (who am I kidding I am the king of narcissism), but I looked incredible. I gained a whole new sense of being and self confidence that comes with looking and felling good. I don’t know what is going to happen next and quite frankly I don’t care. All I can say is that its going to be a damn fine time!
Wow. I am glad to hear you are doing well and that the skies are clearing. I am looking forward to my adventures this coming fall in Lisanti Land.
Things are better then I could have ever imagined.
You look pretty awesome.
nice trim chris. mine is getting buzzed tomorrow… i’m going to miss it dearly.
jack i barely recognized you last time i saw ya at porch… it was prob case of the beer goggles… http://staywet.net/
OOO yea. Sweet do.
[…] growing it out when I was 12 and kept it at around shoulder length till last summer, read “Commitment Cut” for more about that. I loved my long hair. I used to say it was the source of my […]