Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Deep Thoughts’ Category

Let Us Raise A Glass

Posted in Deep Thoughts, News From Lisanti Land, Odd Jobs, Surfing, tagged , , , , , , , , on June 29, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I stood on a bench this morning overlooking the break at Mesa Lane.  It was tiny maybe knee to thigh at best.  The weather was absolutely gorgeous.  Fresh off a new hair cut, I took a deep breath of the warm sweet summer sea air.  There is nothing like the feeling after a good hair cut.  You look at yourself in the mirror when all is said and done and there is this sort affirmation “you have arrived”.  Alright maybe that is a little bit of a stretch, but it is what such means to me.

There  were two guys out making the most of the meager offerings, a grom and his mentor.  The kid was struggling to catch a wave, as I stood there watching his agony. The guy out with him pushed the kid into the next wave.  The grommie stood up and cruised across the the wave’s tiny face.  I let out a giant hoot so loud he probably heard it in the water.  At that moment I felt his stoke and reveled in it.  What a day, what a week, what a month, what a year!

I just stood there in utter amazement of how beautiful the world around me was.  The islands were in full view.  A speed boat with boards on top cruised by most likely en route to the ranch.  A pod of dolphins frolicked along the swell lines. There was an old man walking his dog on the beach and some woman a little further watching her three dogs running in a blissful caper through the surf.

A huge smile was on my face.  I could not help but laugh out  loud at both life and myself.  One year ago (I sort of judge my years now from June 1st to June 1st) I wrote this blog: “A New Normal: The One Year Plan“.  Ironically while checking my daily stats I noticed someone read that this morning and it got me thinking.  What a pathetic miserably sad state I was in when I wrote that on June 30th 2011.  Back then if one would have told me that I would be sitting here writing a blog like this I would have strangled them to death after which committed seppuku.

Last night at my weekly family dinner I have now been hosting for five months surrounded by five  of my regulars, who really have in my mind become family and three new comers to the table I raised a class of champagne and toasted to what is looking like a very bright future.  Before  we get there let me take a minute to remember how arduous a road it has been to get thus far in 2012.

There were plenty of proclamations made all of which were pretty much shattered about a day after they were made much like most New Years resolutions.  And yes more drinking ensued, but  it was more fun drinking then depression drinking and slowly but surely everyday I began to feel a little bit better and a little bit stronger.  I did let a few unworthy people into my life whom I carelessly mistook as having potential.  But that passed too.  We renovated the Lisanti Palace so I could wake up everyday to a respectable looking apartment and want to get on par with my new ambient.

March came around and I saw the departure of Kooky Kyle who if not for him I may not have gotten through November to March.  I was sad to see him leave, but happy to relinquish his duties as keeper of the Lisanti Palace.  He went on to conquer his own demons in pursuit of wanderlust.  You can read about his post Lisanti Land adventures in his occasional segment here on SurfingruinedMyLife.net Kooky’s Korner.

After Kooky the keys to the Palace, ha that’s a joke to anyone who has spent time here(or the butter knife we use to open the laundry room) were passed on to this guy Dan.  He showed up on the scene and met all the requirements I have for a roommate. He did not shoot heroin, smoke meth or crack or any other heavy drugs for that matter, had a steady job and kept his mess to his room and was gone more then home.  The guy was some type of ultimate frisbee champion or something.  I though whatever as long as he pays the rent.

Turns out the guy was alright with me and I guess we have become a modern version of the odd couple.   The thing about Dan is he is super positive all the time always building one up.  When he would come home and find me depression drinking by myself in the dark he brought me out and got my head out of my ass.  No matter what the guy always got me looking on that bright side of things.  He helped fill out my dinner parties and as a result they are becoming quite the event.  Last night I made four contrasting styles of pizza and calzones followed by a splendid peach and kiwi French custard dessert.

This kid Sean I have know for years here in Santa Barbara found himself temporarily homeless and I think every reader here should know by now that no friend of mine will go homeless as long I have a couch.  Shit I have three and a leaky blow up mattress.  Sean came to stay for a few weeks before moving back to Bakersfield with his dad.  As it turned out him and I had pretty much went through the same type of shit over the past year.  Empathy can be rapturous at the right time.  Sean did something for me no one had yet out of all the astounding people that came into my life, each whether negative or positive contributing to where I am right now.  Sean allowed me to open my mind to possibilities I had for far too long been too skeptical to believe.

Last night as I raised my glass to make a toast to my new life.  Before doing so I silently thanked everyone who had a hand in the moment who could not be at my table, in time order: Adrienne, Aniaya, Heroin Bryan, Silly Steve, Sleepy Time Nick, Jules, Rye Guy, Kooky Kyle, Sorbo, Calvin, Dave, Vespera, Danny Boy, Sean, Jennifer, Anna and my always everyday people Ryan, Lindsay, Mauriello who put up with my shit on a regular basis.  From all of these aforementioned people I learned a bit more about myself and capabilities.  A king is only as strong as his court.  Thanks to all these people I will never have to worry about walking around naked unless I so choose “The Emperors New Clothes” style.

What the fuck am I rambling about you ask?  I mean seriously right I have been muttering on for over a thousands words now.  Who do I think I am Faulkner or something.  Well, about two weeks I hit a serious cross roads in my life and was walking the fine line between cashing out on my life here in Santa Barbara, hanging my hat where ever the wind decided to blow me or continuing on the path I originally set out on two years ago when I quit the gas station and got back to cooking.  The whole “growing up” thing and creating a “real life”.  Ultimately I chose the the latter.  Its fine time I stop running.  Maybe this past year was my time in the rock quarry like my fictional counter part Howard Roark (The Fountain Head, Ayn Rand).

I began putting out my resume to anyone and everyone, for any job available be it dish washer, prep cook or chef.  Yesterday I got hired as sous chef at a small bistro in Carpinteria.  Now, its only a trial right now and Monday is my first day, but Westmont was only a trial and that seemed to work out.  All I know is I am ready to meet this new challenge and move forward with the rest of my life.  Enough splitting rocks for it is time to fulfill my destiny.  The best part is all of it is for me and no one else, not a woman, not to impress, but just for my own personal quest to cook the most scrumptious food possible while enhancing my own person skill set.  “Please allow me to reintroduce myself”  my name is CHRIS LISANTI and I am not small!!!

Ahhh yes, here is to the Summer of Alf.

Sometimes in life it is the path more traveled upon that is the hardest to follow. I think I have finally chosen the right road.

 

Read Full Post »

International Surfing Day Ought to be Called “Go F$(k Yourself Day”

Posted in Anger, Deep Thoughts, User Choice BLog, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 22, 2012| 8 Comments »

This weeks UCB makes a winner of Kooky Kyle who at press time has quite the lead thanks to snagging some extra points. I post extra point questions everywhere on this site.  There is still one more extra point floating around that I will triple if anyone gets it.  It was like four or five blogs ago I think.  Also the power of ten for June is up for grabs, get those lists in before or on the 30th of they wont count towards this quarter.  Kooky Kyle’s suggestion was “International surfing Day”.  Now I may have wrote on this topic before someplace either here or back in the myspace.com days, but I have new ideas on the whole thing.  

First off International Surfing Day is a FAKE HOLIDAY that was initially created by the Surfrider Foundation in 2004 to boost beach related environmental awareness.  Beach cleanups, pledge drives, bbqs, earth conscientiousness and good vibes on the whole were had.  At the time I thought it was a pretty rad idea even if it was stolen from skate boarding.  Since the late 90’s on a random day towards the end of June an unofficial skate board race was held through all five boroughs of NYC.  The event was completely underground and on the appointed day thousands of skaters would show up and basically clog the streets of New York for a day.  Eventually word got out and International Go Skateboarding Day took its place all over the world. 

At first things were cool, simple and all in good fun.  Then the surf industry stepped in and said lets use this day to hock more product and make more money.  The Magazines jumped on the bandwagon, videographers, pro surfers, surf shops, surf schools and anyone else who makes a buck off surfing.  Today much like the actual sport of surfing International Surfing Day is nothing more then another American Hallmark Holiday (I will coin that one) but with out the cards, although at this point with Target and Macy’s, yeah Macy’s, embracing the surfing lifestyle to make major dinero its only a matter of time before Hallmark will be making “Happy International Surfing day” Cards.  

Maybe it can have a guy deep in the barrel getting burned by some yuppie kook on a fucking soft board arms all flailing going straight fresh out his surf class he paid some surfer business man $100 bucks an hour for.  Sto00000ke! Surfing is so cool.  Or it can have some dick head pro burning some average guy just happy to squeeze an hour in before work.  Either way nothing spreads the aloha spirit like ruining another surfers day.

Happy International Surfing Day!

Lets go back to the Macy’s thing again.  I was suit shopping there the other day cause they were having this crazy 60% off sale.  I actually found a really smooth Alfani two piece Charcoal Grey suit that I am going to wear to my cousin’s wedding at the end of August with a black shirt and red tie.  I am going to be styling.  As I am doing this I walk by an entire surf section with all the brands, Volcom, Quicksilver, Rip Curl, etc.  There was a giant picture of Mic Fanning on the wall, a poster of Taj boosting.  I almost cried then destroyed the place.  Instead I shook my head and was stoked to have disconnected myself from the surf materialistic world.  I feel bad for all my friends who own surf shops lord knows how you compete.

A sneak preview of my new suit. I looked like shit this day. I don’t trust mirrors so I always take photos whenever I am buying a high ticket item. You can imagine when I am all done up this is going to be the shit.

Did I surf on International Surfing Day you ask?  Well if you read the surflog on occasion you would know I did not cause I hurt my back trying to pull a Kerrupt Flip at New Jetty earlier in the week after getting all pumped off it when I wrote about in the most recent power of ten blog “I Gots Power“.  For myself and most serious surfers every mother fucking day is International Surfing Day.  For me it has been that way for 21 years.  I don’t need a special day to get me pumped to go surfing and if you do then you really need to rethink your priorities in life.  There have been a few times in my life when I had forsaken surfing and I was miserable cause I tried to prioritize my life more mainstream.  Then I readjusted my thinking and got back on the horse.

Yes I was a sell out for a long time.  I did the pro-surfer thing, the surf shop thing, and even the surf school thing.  These days I am a complete surfing recluse.  I wear all black wet suits, ride wide surf boards some with original art work done by my friends. I show up, go surfing then as fast I was there I am gone.  No or minimal surf clothing, image or fanfare.  If it was not for my neck tan these days one would not even know I surfed.  I think most people just believe I have some strange skin disease that only allows my head to tan.

Actually I got this chick at the bar the other night to fall for that and almost got her to pity fuck me.   I went up to this woman to hit on her and after a few words I could tell she was over it.  She was doing the usual looking around the club, checking the phone, I am over talking to you sort of thing.  I was about to leave when her friend comes up to me and like a total bitch says “yuck why are you only tan from the neck up?”.  “To tell you the truth I suffer from a skin degenerating disease called pigmititus and can now only tan on my hands and from the neck up.  Its similar to the skin disease Micheal Jackson suffered from.  I must say I am a little self conscientious about it and now you have embarrassed me and I must leave”.  I turned to walk away and she grabbed me and was all apologetic bought me a shot of Patron and then chilled with me the rest of the night.  It was classic.  Now I know how that dude in the wheel chair pulls all those chicks.   Stupid California girls, got to love them.

In a world where commercialism has taken over every facet of life (phssst if your a hipster, if the majority of the population has embraced your style then you are not too hip anymore) it is sad that surfing has been taken down with it.  On the up side with anti commercial warriors out there like Dane Reynolds and Bobby Martinez maybe more will follow and we can take back the soul of surfing.  In the meantime Taylor Steele made a film recently where he picked one random day and filmed surfing all over the world on that day. No special title needed.  Here is what International Surfing Day is really about:

 

Read Full Post »

A Saving Grace?

Posted in Deep Thoughts, News From Lisanti Land, Surfing on June 13, 2012| 4 Comments »

I must admit the last two days have been tough for me mentally and emotionally.  I am trying to stay strong, but its hard.   Deliberately acting out of one’s naturally ordained character can be very trying on that same person’s animus.  I don’t believe I was predestined to be happy or positive.  Thus this thinking I could ever actually be happy is a rather big stretch to begin with.  

I always like to go back to the Aldous Huxley’s take on happiness in Brave New World “Happiness isn’t grand and can only truly be realized by the simple of mind”.   Then I read Voltaire who in Candide presents happiness as the ability to “Tend one’s garden” to best of his own ability.  Garden in this sense being symbolic for life in general. Finally I took a look at Henry David Thoreau and “On Walden” , his personal life long quest for true happiness being true to yourself and your own beliefs.  To be honest I don’t really know how happy Thoreau was in life.

Up until I read his works in college when I was younger I had yet to really find an author that veraciously embodied myself.  I could in some respect be his reincarnation if such a thing is possible (I have just recently been exploring the spiritual side of things courtesy of my new couch guy Sean).  What ever salvation or delirium he found it was by living rather simply and wandering.  Simple was the common theme here.  

Now I am an intellectually inclined person or at the very least would like to think so.  I will admit that yes I can be a very miserable person to be around.  In my childhood I was down right wanton to be around.  In many ways I guess I still am. I don’t believe I did it on purpose it was just in my nature to constantly shake the tree.  When such an action is taken the results are many times adverse causing my spirits to fall.  After a while I just assumed a negative out look on the world around me.  My mother once put a smile or frown face on a calender for a whole year to prove such a point.  

As I got older and did more reading, thinking, traveling and overall gathering of life experiences I came to realize that I should be able to control my own destiny and emotions.  Being such I got better at changing the way I saw things.  Looking through “rose colored glasses” so to speak, “the bright side of things”.   Its fucking hard.  I find myself constantly torn by contradicting thoughts and emotions.  I fight it well and really do try and stay in the positive frame of mind.  It has for the most part worked out for me over the past few years or so.  

Then there is surfing.  An entity in my life I curse as much as praise.  The most frustrating yet rewarding part of my life.  A true paradox, oxymoron.  Yesterday afternoon I was on the phone freaking out telling my mother I was ready to cash out on my life here in Santa Barbara and move on to either Australia or New Zealand.  I still may.  Then I went surfing and had a hell of a surf and my perspectives changed.  I was stoked, came home cooked a scrumptious dinner for my roommates,watched a Seinfeld and passed out merrily on my couch.  

I woke up this morning and scored really fun Rincon.  I’m not going to go into the details of the surf sessions you read the surf log for that.  It just sets my mind at ease.  These days even the bad sessions bring a sort of solace over me.  I was just talking to a buddy of mine who just recently got back from a surf trip and has yet to surf since.  The first thing I do when I get back from a surf trip is go for a surf if it is ride-able to wash away the annoyance of travel.  Its truly is my soul.  

I find myself constantly fighting this reality.  How is that my essence of being is locked up in a feeling that last no more then a fraction of a second at most times?  Yet it doesn’t.  For me that feeling lasts the entire day.  Even the memory or telling the tale of an epic surf rejuvenates me.  Then the question comes up “can I really surf the rest of my life”?  At some point my body will be too decrepit to remain and then what?  

At the moment I find myself attempting to build a life that would have me surfing less and less all in the pursuit of happiness?  Surfing for me is happiness.  Its crazy talk.  I look around at my current apartment and all the THINGS that I have, the furniture, wood floors I added.  “Nice things” as my ex-wife used to put it, some one who has definitely traded surfing for a “real life”.   In the accumulation of these nice things I have sacrificed so many hours of surf, and good ones at that.  Why?  So people can come over my pad and tell me how nice it looks and how I am finally an “adult”?  I could have surfed all over the world for over a year on what I spent to make this place look nice.  

At the moment I am working on a life compromise.  For me compromising is the hardest thing ever.  If there has not been much writing here lately I am sorry, but I have been working through many serious thoughts and emotions.  I have to lump the two together cause for me they are in most cases synonymous.  At the moment I am at a very crucial cross road; which ever decision I choose will with out a doubt decide the course my life for a very long time.  The decision I have to make is if what I should do and is according to society the “right decision” is the right decision for me.   Maybe I’m not suppose to have nice things. Instead maybe just maybe I am suppose to do great things.  If the ability to have nice things completely trumps my ability to do great things then something is wrong.  

“All men aspire to greatness, yet so few succeed”.   

Perfection is out there and for some reason I don’t think it is found in a compromise.

Read Full Post »

Bubble Time or Bubble Trouble?

Posted in Deep Thoughts, User Choice BLog, tagged , , , , , , , , on May 23, 2012| 10 Comments »

Looks like Kooky gets another stick on the board this week.  First off let me say that there were a bunch more topics more formidable thrown out there and I am sorry if there are any hard feelings.  Those really good topics require a lot of forethought and planning.  At the moment I am just not up to working that hard.  I was also too lazy to look through all the comments thus I decided the first topic that peaked my interest and made me laugh was getting the green light. 

Kooky asked I write about bubble time of which I think he may have experienced or at least happened a few times during his tenure in the Palace.  He gets 1 point for his efforts.  No one has yet to snag the bonus question I threw out there in last weeks UCB.  As a result I am going to double its value, now worth 2 points!!! Go back find the answer and take the points.  Don’t forget to get those Power of Ten lists in by May 31st or they won’t count for the month. 

Bubble Time

I am crazy as we know and any last strain of sanity I was clinging to all left the building months ago.  I was lost and found myself in depths of my psychotics.   Your not really free until you give up everything you thought you believed in.  I think we get clouded on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis by all sorts of influence both positive and negative that cause us to get lost in what really matters in life. 

I have been lost my whole life, then again maybe being lost is what defines who I am and my ability to exist in this counter dimension.  Over the past ten years I filled my head with all sorts of ideas and beliefs that most of which did not belong to me at all.  I shook a few off here and there, then gained a few more, shook a few off, gained a few more…Do you see a cycle developing?  I let everything, everyone, our society in general turn me into an entity I could not even recognize when staring myself in the mirror.

When you finally remove the painted veil and stare blankly at yourself and are astounded at what you see and who you see then you know it is time for a change.  I had that opportunity and it scared the shit out of me and I did not know how to handle it or life in general.  I coped with this in a menagerie of ways one of which was bubble time.  

When Ades and I first broke up I could not handle my emotions, mainly the random out bursts of anger.  My temper and rage problem was one of the entities I wanted fix in myself.  Some how breaking all the furniture in my apartment over and over again “Dewey Cox” style was not only nonsensical but rather costly.  I began running out of surf boards to smash as well.  Poor Alfie was afraid to come near me. 

One day I was walking in some random park here in town and found a bottle of bubble solution and a giant bubble wand.  Please don’t judge me, I think bubble time is far better then throwing bums shopping carts full of shit over bridges at 3am.  I looked around and there were no children in sight.  I did not want to be stealing some poor kid’s bubble stuff.  No one was around for that matter except some smelly bum passed out in a puddle of his own urine. 

I opened the top of the container and there was a small bubble wand attached to the lid.  I blew a few bubbles and watched them blow away in the wind, reflect the sunlight in pretty little rainbows and ultimately float down to the ground in scrupulous manner before imploding.  I was miserable walking through this park where I was hoping the piss laden bum might stab me with a dirty shank or needle.   But when those bubbles started to soar all around me I became rather jovial.  I was full on giggling.  How I was not committed to a mental institution that day is beyond me. 

I ended up emptying the entire bottle then laid down under a tree and took a blissful nap.  When I came to I proclaimed that I would no longer have negative out bursts of rage or despair, but instead have bubble time.  I went out and bought a dozen bottles of bubble solution (till I realized all I needed was some dish washing liquid and water).  The giant bubble wand just upped the ante even more.  Now I could blow enormous bubbles bigger then my head. 

Whenever I was having a bad day I would go out into my yard and let the bubbles fly.  There were still the occasional fits of rage and depression drinking.  Overall bubble time slowly began to take over.  I am sure there is some psychological disorder for how I dealt with my emotions and probably some type of treatment or drugs.  All I have to say about that is “you can stuff it in a sack” (half point for that reference).   Sometimes its perfectly ok to be crazy.

I must admit I have not had bubble time in a while now.  I have not needed it.  I am proud to say I have learned to keep my emotions down to a controlled elevate.  To this day I still keep a bottle of bubble solution in my car just in case and the bubble wand is hanging on the wall in my kitchen for easy access in an emergency.   What if we could just have bubble time instead of fighting?  What then….BUBBLES YEAH!

 

Read Full Post »

I Declare This The Summer Of Alf!!!!

Posted in Deep Thoughts, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , , , , , , , on May 21, 2012| 7 Comments »

I declare this THE SUMMER OF ALF! MEOW

It was a marvelous day in late Spring on the hit television series Seinfeld, Season 8, Episode 22 (I know Im obsessed), when George Costanza (Micheal Alexander) finds out that the Yankees are going to pay him three months severance.  Upon receiving these wonderful tidings he stands up rants about how he will use his time and then “declares it to be the summer of George”.  Everyone has been patiently waiting on the definition of THE SUMMER OF ALF and what it is all about.  Well its time folks, its time!

Before I do I find it most pertinent to set the scene with a little back story.  I am as wordy as Faulkner or Hawthorne.  Too bad I am not nearly as profound and I don’t get paid by the word or at all for that matter.  As most of you know I work as a chef over at Westmont College.  One of the many perks of working for an educational institution is that you get the same breaks as the students.  What does that mean for me; summers off!!! Unfortunately I am not paid for this time.  Luckily my Uncle Sam steps in every year and invests in my vacation.  I’m talking about unemployment people.  Its not my fault there is no work for me.

Every year I am off from the first week in May until the last week or so in August.  This allows for plenty of time for activities.  Last summer I blew it.  I squandered those months moping around Santa Barbara in the hopes that my life would be taken untimely in a horribly painful occurrence.  It didn’t happen.  Why you ask?  Cause I could not get over the loss of my ex-girlfriend.  I really hope unless your new here you did not need that question to be answered.

Fast forward nine months give or take.  My roommate Dan and I were sitting in the living room and I was being all introspective about how I wanted to start living again and making the most out of my life.  No more self pity, loathing, anger, tears, bullshit.  Later that night I wrote “Of Things to Come” which was a comical yet very serious look at the things in my life I wanted to improve on over the coming months.  Upon reading it Dan declared that the summer of 2012 was going to be none other then the Summer of Alf.

I know what your thinking, why is not called The Summer of Chris?  Alfie had just as hard of a time adjusting to our new life as I did.  He had to deal with all the gnarl of me, heroin addict roommates, becoming a heroin addict himself, fleas and overall feline aggravation.  Now a year later his coat is shinny and full again, he is content in his new home and has a minimal amount of fleas.   I say why not call it The summer of Alf! Is that not what we ask in Lisanti Land when someone asks the question “why”?

WHY NOT! That is what The Summer of Alf is all about.  Its about taking the bull by the horns and seizing every minute of every day.  I am not going to squander a moment.  Its all going to be done in a positive, classy manner.  I am not going to rehash “Of Things to Come” you can go back and read it for yourselves.  I am going to have fun, get things done, be the remarkable, strong honorable, trust worthy person I had set out to be at the very start.  People are going to look up to me cause I am a solid human being and not some circus sideshow act.

My mother wrote me a letter when I first moved out here to California.  In the letter she discusses how she believed in me and how I was capable of doing anything I wanted as long as I put my mind to it.  That she was always hard on me cause she expected nothing but the best I could do.   I found that letter while cleaning out my junk draws a month before any of this Summer of Alf business even started and hung it up on my wall.

Its been a long time since I have done the absolute best I could possibly do.  Its about time I started doing it again.  The Summer of Alf has no limitations, no preconceived notions, no bull shit.  The Summer of Alf is the beginning of the rest of my life.  Big things are coming and expect to read and be entertained by all of it.  In the first week I threw an eight guest four course dinner party and just got back from a ridiculous jaunt up in San Fransisco, which you are soon to read about!

THE SUMMER OF ALF!!!!!!!

The Summer of Alf is all about Puffins doing lude activities on cereal boxes? So much for trying to be classy.

In all seriousness what it all comes down to is the taking things in strides. Me already making the most out of the Summer of Alf. Look at the size of that cup!

Read Full Post »

Of Things to Come…

Posted in Deep Thoughts, Life, News From Lisanti Land, Surfing, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on May 6, 2012| 13 Comments »

Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone although it is sort of a bull shit holiday that has been over dramatized and commercialized by America in order to sell tequila and cheap shitty Mexican beer.  Seriously Mexicans don’t even really celebrate it.  Many believe today is Mexican Independence Day.  If you thought such you would be wrong .  Mexican Independence Day is actually September 16th.  Cinco de Mayo actually celebrates some battle the Mexican Army won against the French in 1862.  Now it is just another bullshit drinking holiday so that the general public can feel better about going out and getting absolutely shit faced.  

I for one was planning on jumping on the bandwagon.  I mean who am I to pass up an excuse to drink?  Then as I thought about all the fucking idiot amateurs that were going to be out tonight, the incessant lines and excessive cover charges for that reason I quickly got over it.  I went out last night and had an average time at best.  I think I will leave tonight to all fools who need an excuse to get drunk rather then be honest with themselves that they enjoy to get plastered from time to time.   What is with all these drinking holidays falling on a weekend this year?  First St. Pats, now Cinco de Mayo.  They are way more fun on weekdays so everyone who works a normal Monday through Friday week can feel what its like to work the entire day with hangover like us weekend workers do.

America Fuck Yeah!

 

Enough about tonight before I change my mind and cruise to the bar with the idiots and on to my initial reason for writing.  A blog ago or so I wrote about my current lot in life and feelings (see Food for Thought).  In this blog I am going to explore some of my thoughts about moving forward in life.  Take some stock in the direction I would like to see things move for me.  

The Path to Enlightenment

“Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water.  After enlightenment, chop wood carry water”.  This is an old Buddhist proverb I picked up in the brief survey I gave to the study of the religion.  I took from them what suited me and left behind the organization.  My religious views are not to be explored in this blog.  I feel this is a really good mantra to try and follow.  One who is truly enlightened knows he must keep at the path that got him to that point.  

I am constantly striving to find out more about myself, who I am, what I am about and what I am capable of.  I don’t believe many understand such entities of themselves or want to for that matter.  When you start digging into your mind, heart and soul honestly there is much there that is amazing, alarming and somewhat a bit unsettling.  Once you open the flood gates its not like you can turn back.  You must keep moving forward.  I have discovered a bunch about myself in the past few years and even more over the last year.  

The more I learn the less I know. “The wise man knows that he knows nothing at all”.  One thing I do know is that I know what I stand for as a person and what I do not.  I also know that I will not compromise this for anyone or anything and I never have.  I rocked long hair for nearly 16 years despite pressure from my ex-wife, family, society, jobs, etc.  Yeah I finally did cut my hair, but for me.  I entered a new chapter in my life and wanted a new hairstyle to go with it.  I plan on continuing this existential journey through my character and how it interacts both positive and adverse in our society making adjustments where necessary to suit me and no one else.  No one can tell you what you need or want besides you.  That my friends is how I intend to live out my days. 

The Short List
 

These are some things I wish to accomplish over the coming months or at the very least better myself in.  If you don’t have some type of direction then you are just running around like dog chasing his tail.  Here is to moving vertically.

Get Back into Music
I play the saxophones rather well and enjoy doing it.  At one point it was my job and that basically ruined the whole thing for me.  After a very short stint in that industry I burnt out and went rouge.  That was over ten years ago.  I have never stopped playing.  I did a little work last summer in the musical theatre genre that was a blast (see “A Trip Back East” Blog for more on that).  I really want to get back into Jazz.  I’m not even talking about performance.  I would just love to meet a few like minded people who would be stoked on pulling out a real book and blowing from time to time.  So if your in the Santa Barbara area and have a yearning to play some of that Jazz music please hit me up.

Learn to Speak Italian
This is more of a necessity to go with one of my other more long term directions, which I will discuss later on.  I am not sure as of late how to accomplish this task.  At the moment I am leading towards taking classes at Santa Barbara City College.  I was also thinking about trying some of those language tapes as well.  Any suggestions would be very helpful.  Maybe I will just kidnap an Italian, lock him/her in my hall closet, force feed him/her cat food and speak conversational Italian with me on a daily basis.  I could def think of one Italian here in SB that deserves such treatment.
 

Go Surfing As Much As Possible
This plan has already been put into action.  I have been really lazy as far as surfing is concerned over the past year.  Yeah I don’t do it competitively or professionally anymore, but it is my best source of enjoyment, exercise and therapy.  I know we are steadily approaching our off season here in the 805.  There are still plenty of waves that can be enjoyed by the intrepid and willing.  I was once both and want to be once again.  Its always more fun when your out there.  Visit the surf log for my daily surfing escapades and more.

Time to get my grovel on…

Read More Books
I have been very, very lazy on the reading front.  I used get to read nearly two novels a month.  Now I am down to around three a year.  This really puts a damper on my thirst to read as many great works of literature as possible.  I have a rather extensive collection of classics many of which I have sadly yet to read.  

Write More
This one goes all around from blogging, to my novel, to another writing project I have been working, to a possible cooking show my buddy and I are working on pitching, to short stories. I am also in the process of a SurfingRuinedMyLife.net redesign.   

Explore more of the greater Santa Barbara Area
It was not long ago, maybe two years to be somewhat exact that my boy Brennan and I set out to attack a list of 101 free things to do in Santa Barbara.  In the process we did and saw many really fun and amazing things.  Since then I have still been striking out to explore my home albeit not as frequently.  There are plenty of places with in a fifty mile radius or so that I have to check off my list and this may be the summer for it.  No matter what I’m sure you will get to read about the results here.

Just another Santa Barbara Adventure!

 Finish the Coffee Table
Ok this project has been going on for almost two years now and the odds of its completion slim, me ruining it in the attempt very good or finding a better one on craigslist most likely.  You never know at the moment I am feeling very ambitious. We never thought the renovations on the Lisanti Palace would come to pass either.

The current state of my coffee table:(

 

Drink and Party Less
How am I going to accomplish all this you ask?  Well one of the things I am going to cut out is the number of hours I spend per week getting hammered both downtown and at home.  When you drink and party all night you sleep and are sick all day or even days depending. The amount of money such a life style amounts to is preposterous.   That does not mean I am going all Mormon on you.  All it means is I am going to bring things down to a safer more manageable level before I end up dead by 40.  Everything in moderation after all.

The high life…Looks enticing huh? Its not all its cracked up to be.

Grow a Mustache

I DON’T THINK SO…Been there done that scared myself and everyone around me for one week too long.

That is the meat of what I think the “Summer of Alf” (what I am billing the summer of 2012) is going to be all about.  Stay tuned for some of my long term accomplishments soon…And of course regular updates, departments and other fun from Lisanti Land.


Read Full Post »

Food for Thought

Posted in Deep Thoughts, News From Lisanti Land, Surfing, tagged , , , , , , , on April 25, 2012| 4 Comments »

It was last Wednesday evening that things began making sense to me again.  One year ago my life was in absolute shambles. I had plans, the means to execute those plans and high expectations.  I had this mental imagine, a dream have you of the way the rest of my life was going to pan out.  If I learned anything from Steinbeck its that “the best plans of mice and men may go astray”.  Shakespeare has always warned me to “beware of the ides of March”.

At that time in my life I did not head either great writer’s advice.  When things went awry I had no where to turn in my mind but the bottle.  Anyone who reads regularly can attest to the less then stellar results that have come out of such.  If your new here just peruse some blogs exactly a year ago and maybe a few from the summer and fall.  They will fill in all the blanks immensely.

I was lucky in that I had a strong support system of friends who were not about to sit around and watch me destroy myself.  You know what I am still here and sure I still drink a bit too much, but “kill all  my demons and my angels may die too”.  In all seriousness I have been working on reducing my alcoholism back down to a safer level.   I must say it has been a crazy, scary yet invigorating ride to arrive at the point I am at now.

There I sat out in the middle of a very disorganized lineup at New Jetty with two other guys out making the most of the crossed up lefts that were coming in.  It was more then just a surf.  The sun was going down, the lighting perfect to allow the mountains to reflect all the colors of the sunset.   I looked up the coast line, one where the mountains literally meet the ocean, then back out to the horizon at the channel islands ominously floating in perpetual solidarity.   The world around me is so breathtaking.  That is why I live my life.  That is why I always have.

I let myself get so dragged down into the mud that I forgot what being alive was all about.  I still have no idea what is going to happen, but then again it really is not my place to know.  If one knew his own fate would his life still be worth living?  I know I have been lost for a while now, maybe the last four years of my life even.  I had put all of my cards into surfing and as that ticket slowly ran out I was unsure of where to turn.  I think that was where Adrienne came into the picture.

She kind of gave me a new reason to live.  I was wrong to put all my eggs in someone else’s basket and ultimately I don’t really know how happy I was with our arrangement anyway.  I spent so much time trying to glorify it and living in a constant state of veneration of what we were that I clouded what our reality was.  The truth is Ade’s and I lived very separate lives for a couple and both of us let a lot slide with the other cause it was not worth arguing about.  When I look back on things now I realized that we almost never fought and I know on my side of things and I believe on hers too it was because neither of us cared enough about any topic to make it worth our while.  All the big issues we never resolved just pushed under the rug.

I was never good at compromising and I am pretty sure it is a skill she lacks as well.  I know right now your reading this thinking why is he rehashing all this?  The answer my friends is that sometimes I need to put things into writing when my thought process on them has finally reached a conclusion.  Call this my final closure on the Adrienne issue.  I have been stewing on these thoughts for a year.

So basically the reason we did not work was because neither of us found it worth while to put the necessary effort in that two people in relationship have to in order to keep it moving into a forward direction.  Ultimately we hit an impasse and by the time I realized it things had already spiraled out of control.  Looking back objectively now things sort of went down hill steadily after we moved in together.  Much of that is due to many factors that we never bothered to address.  Its like a car, over time there are certain maintenance issues that need to be regularly handled for the vehicle to remain functional.  If you miss oil changes and regular service eventually that car will break down no matter how strong it was initially.

In our a case neither of us really gave a shit about making things work.  Now that I see that clearly it is no wonder what happened happened.  I mean could the situation had been dealt with better sure, but I guess what went down was in true Lisanti Land fashion. In my world there are only extremes and nothing in between.  I must say I would not have it any other way.  Insanity or as Micheala put it Lisanity becomes me.   I think the moment I went wrong was when I tried to compromise what I am about.

Where does that leave me?  My new roommate Dan put things in perspective perfectly a few weeks ago after spending just a short time in Lisanti Land.  This guy lives in the palace full time and those of you who have spent time here know exactly the level of ridiculousness that goes down on a normal week.  To my readers if you think you get the full story here you don’t know the half of it.  There are plenty of instances that go down that are either too embarrassing, incriminating , just plain wrong to put on any kind of public record or go lost in the mix of all the other craziness.  Those are the stories you  have to come to the palace to hear from my lips to your ears.   Then live your own adventures with us.

Dan being a complete outsider to my world.  I mean I could not have found a roommate who comes from such a different walk of life then myself.  The guy is on the total opposite of the spectrum.  I think for me he has been and may be the necessary evil and contrast I need in my life.  An outsider looking in can often better observe what is going on then those directly involved.  About two weeks ago he said to me that I am an artist at life.

That is what really got me to understand myself and my entire reason for being.  On greater thought he is one hundred percent correct.  I am an artist at living and the entire world has been my canvas.  Since as long as I can remember I have custom tailored ever facet of my existence to suit me perfectly.  Every detail down to the color socks I wear, the type of bed I sleep in,  the club I frequent, the drinks I consume, etc has been thought about with meticulous detail.

My life has been always about not compromising and you know what I am proud of that.  When given the option of doing something I did not really want to do and be with friends or being alone I have always chose the latter.  Does that make me selfish or narcissistic, I don’t really know.  I know for the most part I get the most out of every minute of my day I can and always have.  If I seem angry, sad or frustrated at times it is because things did not work the way I saw in my head.  In other words I could not paint the picture I wanted.

The reason I have calmed down a bit in recent years is that I have learned that sometimes I have to learn to paint with in the parameters of the rest of civilization, but still manage to make the statement I intend.  I hope some of this makes sense to you.  It is a bit confusing even to me, but I finally do understand more about myself then I ever have.  Forget living out of spite cause the only person I was spiting was me.

Over the next few weeks I have some new long term possibilities (I’m not going to call them goals or plans anymore cause that seems so final and definite) I want to explore here.  And yeah I don’t know whats next.  I can promise that I am going to continue my art, that is the art of living and living well.  I always said one of my best characteristics was that no matter what I always knew how to appreciate the finer things in life.  As summer is upon us I would like to declare the summer of 2012 “The Summer of Alf”.  There will be more explanation of what that means soon.

A surprise barrel on an other wise less then optimal surf day is definitely one of those finer things in life.

Ready or not "The Summer of Alf" is upon us.......

Read Full Post »

At Odds With Myself

Posted in Deep Thoughts, Music, tagged , , , on April 12, 2012| 3 Comments »

My motivation has been deplorable at the moment.  As a result the writing here has suffered a bit.  Truthfully I am at the right now somewhat  lost in the rapture inside myself.  I have lot on my mind and at the moment no reconciliation on any of  it.  If there is nothing up here for a few days new I apologize in advance.  If you are in Lisanti withdrawal read the surflog which I update almost everyday and is the true life journal of my daily exploits anyway.  In the meantime I think this video says it all.

That was heavy and what is crying with out some laughter.  This one of the directions I am pondering to take in my life here:

Good times folks, good times…

Read Full Post »

Clothes Make the Man

Posted in Deep Thoughts, tagged , , , , , , , , , on March 23, 2012| 5 Comments »

Tonight I am going to cover a subject that means quite a lot to me.  I am Italian and from New York thus I have a very deep rooted attachment to clothes and looking my best in them.  I see way to many people in today’s society discounting the role being well dressed plays in life.  What you wear is a direct reflection of you and you should be proud of every aspect of how you put yourself together.

I am going to share a small rant story.  I am at work finally at the end of my peak dinner rush.  Keep in mind that tonight I had both a catering event to help with and my own meal over at the Mexican restaurant.  I know, an Italian chef running a Mexican restaurant sounds a bit preposterous.  Then again so has been my entire life.  I get to sit down on a milk crate behind to kitchen and check my phone to see if any ladies are chomping at the bit to see me tonight.

As usual nothing of the kind, such is life.  I don’t blame them I guess.  I mean I was way more attractive when I was a failing professional surfer working at a gas station who barely had a pot to piss in.  I really don’t get that expression.  I mean if your poor there is always something to piss in and who pees in a pot anyway.  I would just take a piss in the bushes or behind a dumpster or something.  That is technically my guest bathroom at the palace.  Actually the pharse dates back to colonial times when there was not plumbing.  People had these little pot type things that they would do their business in at night and then dump them out in the morning.  Hence the phrase “pot to piss in”.  I love useless knowledge, don’t you.  We all know Kooky Kyle does.  He is like the fucking encyclopedia of that type of shit.

Where was I?  Oh, the text.  My new roommate whom has barely lived in my place for three weeks texts me “I borrowed your pea coat….bla bla”.  This particular coat is my favorite to wear when I dress up.  It is not cheap, although I got it for a deal and since I walk about a mile and half down town it is key to looking my best on said walk.  If I feel styling and put together on my way to the club it translates down to my demeanor in the club as well.

Dude takes the coat with out my permission and in my book that is very disrespectful.   Shoots if he asked I most likely would have lent it to him anyway.  More then one person has benefited from my extensive wardrobe.  I was at first furious.  It took some deep breathing and meditation to calm myself down.  Then I thought about it further.  Dan is a Californian and mostly besides LA and San Francisco the whole lot of them do not really know how to dress.  I mean the guy is always in khaki’s and shades of blue color button downs when I see him.  He looks like he should be on the Banana Republic catalog or something to that effect.

Realizing this I figured he just may not have understood just how much clothing means to fashion oriented people.  As a result did not fully understand the severity of the offense he was committing.  Shit maybe he got excited when he saw just how flashing my wardrobe is and was overwhelmed becoming light headed and not thinking “hey I should probably ask Chris before taking a jacket this sleek”.  Could have been worse.  He could have grabbed my custom made Armani suit or dabbled in my shoes.

I will reiterate, I am Italian.  Where do you think most fashion originates from?  That’s right Italy.  There is not any Milan in California. Sorry folks.  In the US the hub of high fashion is New York City.  Now I am not saying I am the most stylish person out there, but to be honest the only thing that keeps me from being just that is budget.  If I had rapper money believe me my wardrobe would be out of this world.  Heck I might just throw an outfit away after I wore it so that I would never have to be in re-runs.  I am also a bit insane.

Ever since I was a child having decent clothing was instilled into me by my parents.  My dad always wore nice shoes and explained a good pair of shoes said a lot about a man’s character.   When I made my first communion my mother had my suit custom tailored for me.  It took two days of measurements cause I was so hyperactive and I hated her for it.  I will tell you this I was one of the best dressed kids at that service.  At my conformation my sponsor and I coordinated purple suits,but in a classy way, not too guido.  When I go shopping for clothing it can take hours.  My friends have stopped going with me for that reason.  I think my mother is one of the few people I can shop with.  Italian men and their mothers is a topic I am not about to cover in this blog.

Now I need to mention that I am not saying that a well dressed person can’t be a creep.  What I am trying to say is that how you present yourself shows how you want to be perceived.  If I go out in stained clothing and torn up shoes it mainly says I do not give a fuck.  When you look put together people look at you with a sort of admiration.  “That guy has it going on”.  Most people say I over dress and I always reply, no you just under dress.  If we all went around naked it would not matter, but since that has yet to come to pass, and I admit I would be the first to jump on the all nude all the time band wagon.  It may not go to well with my current profession and the sanitation code, but in general I would have no problem giving up on clothing all together.

Even at work I try and keep a style about  me.  My chef coats are of an angled cut at the neck which suits my body type.  I picked a hat that enhances my out fit and I always, always wear pleated pants.  You may be reading this right now and be thinking “man this guys is one of the most vain people I have ever listened to ramble on about bull shit”.  In my opinion its not vanity my friends, but self respect and respect for others around me.

Read Full Post »

Sliding Down The Pole

Posted in Anger, Deep Thoughts, User Choice BLog, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on March 9, 2012| 8 Comments »

This week’s UCB and first of the quarter goes to John Mauriello, despite a challenge and a half set forth by Scotty B involving making home made Four Loco and possibly by own death.  I actually really am considering the challenge, just waiting for the right group of people in Lisanti Land to be down.  It seems like something I would need Micheala for.  John gets 1.5 points for the inaugural UCB.  He suggested I write just how I feel about strip clubs being I was just recently at one for Kooky’s send off.

A Right of Passage

Not condoning what goes on there, going to a strip joint is an American male right of passage when he turns 18 years old. It goes like this, you turn 18 and buy a pack of cigarettes, a lotto ticket and you go to the titty bar.  Yeah maybe you don’t smoke and could give two shits about the lotto.  You buy it because you can, end of story.  For the same reason it is why you should go to the nudey bar.

When I turned 18 I actually did not go to a strip club, per say.  Well I guess I sort of did.  My friend Jay and I (whom would later stab me in the back, et tu brute,  I guess I should have been aware of the Ides of March.  That is a story not for this blog, ever. You will just have to come to court for the skinny on that one) used to hang out at this run down dive in Asbury where I believe Porto is now.  It was called club seduction and it was the raunchiest strip club I have to this day ever been inside of.  They used to let us in under age and serve us alcohol.  The girls dancing were either over weight or anorexic, a few even had track marks on their arms.  All the while pimps would be propositioning us with their girls, drug dealers pushing and every other type of degenerate one could imagine to lurk about such a place.

We never went there for the strippers but the fact that they served us alcohol and the odds of us getting stabbed was rather high.  One night the cops raided the place and we bolted.  I found myself running through the streets of Asbury at 1 am.  Those of you who are lost, Asbury Park, NJ was one of the most run down dangerous towns in the state back then.  Not to mention 80% black, 15% Mexican and 100% bad news especially for two rich white boys.

Rage

After Seduction was shut down for illegal solicitation so ended my strip club days.  It was no matter cause I went off to college anyway.  I got back into town for winter break and my old friend rage tells me I have to come with him to this awesome club.  Skeptical I found myself at yet another strip joint.  Rage owned a convenience store and had plenty of money.  We walk in the door and the bouncer pounds him out.  Then upon entry all the girls cruising about trying to sell lap dances kept coming up, giving him hugs.  Apparently Rage had been spending some money there.  As it turns out the dude would drop around $250 a night and the strippers always tried to go home with him.  When I asked why he never took them he replied “fuck that they are dirty”.  Yet it did not stop him from getting a lap dance from them.

The Stripper Pole

This is one of those things I have never understood about strip clubs: the pole.  When was it decided that it was sexy to watch a woman swing around a six foot pole naked upside down?  I think it is rather entertaining to watch and a skill in its own right.  Come on how has something so bizarre become common place.  I love it even more when non-stripper women who on any given day would demean a stripper will go crazy on a stripper pole any place they find one outside of a strip club.

The Desperation

That is what these places are: dens of desperation.  I always find myself in a state of confusion in such establishments.  If I was in a whore house it would make sense.  Watch what each girl had to offer then buy one for the night.  At a strip club you go into a back room where you pay a women upward of $40 to $100’s of dollars to rub her nasty cootch all over your cloths.  If I drop $100 at the bar I am sure to pick up a woman who will do a lot more then that for me and we will both be satisfied in the morning.

The girls, oh the girls.  Is your self esteem so low that you need to dance for men for money, naked?  Sure the pay is good, but it is also good being a bar tender and one would still get similar attention as a pretty woman.  How is one ever to expect to amount to anything respectable in such line of work?  I may be lonely, but when I walk into a place like that it makes me feel even more alone.  Then again I have never really had a hard time meeting women.  Maybe for some men that kind of attention makes them feel good.  Hey bud wake up, your paying for that attention.

Quarter Rapped Dollar Bills

What is this you ask?  You take a dollar bill and you rap it around a quarter so that now you have a device you can whip a the stripper while she is dancing in attempt to bruise her body.  I went to a strip club in Oceanside once with a guy who literally would stack six quarters and rap them up then beam it at the girls tits.  Had he not regularly dropped hundreds of dollars there I think he would have gotten thrown out.  Recently I had a stripper sit down next to me and say “I drank a  green tea, a latte and a red bull and now I am really horny”.  I was taken aback at first then replied “Wow if I had all that caffeine I would be bouncing off the walls, not horny”.  She did not see the humor in it.

All I can say is that strip clubs in general are a waste of time and money in my opinion.  The occasional visit is a bit enjoyable thanks to the combination of the patrons and strippers. For whatever reason I seem to find my way into one on an annual basis.  One time by accident.  I was in San Francisco visiting Mauriello (For more on that trip read Talk About a Miscommunication) .  We got into a cab after a party had broken up early.  I asked the cabby to take us some place we could meet some pretty girls.  Misunderstanding my request we were dropped off in the strip club district of that town.  When in Rome….

Even Grandma Loves to get all over the pole. Ohhh baby what club does she work at.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »