Posts Tagged ‘SBCC is bullshit’

The Five Day Lurk

I am still alive at least so I suppose that is a feat I should  be thankful for or should I?  If you remember back a few blogs ago to the  Five Day Halloween Party blog Kooky and I were all set for a five day lurk.  Well we made three nights of it before I ended up getting nearly deathly ill, did not leave my bed for two days and did not surf for five.  I am not talking sick from drinking unless this is the beginnings of cirrhosis.  I guess time will tell.  I can’t remember the last time I was that bad off.  I still have a lingering cough. I almost went to the medical clinic.  Luckily my immune system is still a champ and won the battle.

For the remaining nights of Halloween nothing too eventful happened. Kooky did manage a great rendition of Prince that had all the gays at the Kitty jumping out of their seats.  I did a decent portrayal of a Blues Brother.  One night we both went out as Guidos.  It was fun although I am a little disappointed that we could not make the entire lurk.   Good times.

Chefing It Up

On the work front things are going well.  Sodexo opened a new Mexican station in the dinning commons.  I was put in charge of dinner there Wednesday through Friday nights.  At first it was pretty hectic and I got a bit frustrated.  I even considered quitting.  Now I have it somewhat wired.  It is still a ton of work but at least I am learning Mexican cuisine.   With five Mexican cooks on payroll I do not really understand why they put the white Italian cook in charge of the station, but so be it.  I find myself just seasoning everything with onion, cumin, chili powder, cayenne, oregano, lime and lemon juice.  I guess every genre of cooking has its stereo typical spices.  I am beginning to learn mole and different types of salsa reductions.  At the very least its one more thing to add to the resume.

The Joy of Adult Education

The school front on the other hand has not been going so well.  I missed a few classes and had to beg my teachers not to fail me straight out.  I am failing catering cause I have no time to put in the required 26 hours of unpaid labor for the semester and ironically I am failing w0rk study cause I don’t have time to hand in the homework.  I hate school its such a backward institution.  Especially City Colleges where anyone can attend.  The students on the whole are unmotivated and dumb, as a result the teachers water down the curriculum and lose their vigor in the process.

Truth be told I am not all that motivated myself.  I work five days a week busting my ass in the kitchen only to spend my only two days off sitting in a class with a bunch of want to be top chefs.  Those who can cook like myself have these ridiculous egos and even challenge the professors.  That makes up half the class.  The other half are completely clueless, have never stepped foot in a professional kitchen before in their lives and most days are more of a danger to themselves and others with their terrible technique.  Let me say this not everyone was cut out for this business.  The ego maniacs walk around the room just waiting for someone to mess up so that they can rub that person’s nose in it.  The whole thing is insanity.

My Pain

As of this moment I am considering taking next semester off to clear my head and take a better stock in my life.  I have been struggling with heavy depression ever since Adrienne left back in June.  I tried to fill the hurt with a stupid affair that ended with me just getting more hurt.  I don’t know why Ades has been such a pain to me.  I mean when I was with her I was always a bit indifferent to her.  Picking up the pieces of both my heart and my life has become tough and I find myself really afraid that I am turning into other guys I know who were in a similar situation as myself.  One case in particular the dude is a great guy who still has not been able to move on and the hurt is killing him.

I believe I am stronger then that.  I guess only time will tell.  My drinking is definitely gotten excessive, but for the moment I need it.  Alcohol is the only way I can cope with the pain at the moment.  Maybe it was the way things ended that messed me up so bad.  That fact that the one human being I met that seemed better then most when it came to morals and inner strength went and did an act so against everything she stood for that it turned her into a living oxymoron.  I hate fallacies.  One thing I can say about myself and I will always take pride in is that I am a straight shooter and am not a bullshit person.

I call it like I see it.  I don’t make excuses for my conduct and have always been honest about it.  I know I am an asshole and boarder line degenerate, well maybe more of a wolf in sheep’s clothing?  I have always broadcast such.   In the end I know I am going to pull it together.  I always do, but right now I am still most days rather sad, the rest of the days are spent either dead inside or the occasional really happy one.  Classic manic depression.  My mother told me I should make a list of what I think would make me happy and then figure out how I should go about accomplishing such.

Usually her advice just pisses me off, but this makes a lot of sense and is one I am indubitably going to implement.  I need to figure out something to dig myself out of the hole Adrienne left me in.  Enough of this endless pity party.  How tired is everyone of hearing about me cry about Ades?  I know I am.  I think this is the last time I am going to write about such.  I know I always say that.  Sorry in advance when I have another relapse.

The beautification of the Lisanti Palace

I woke up about two weeks ago all hung over from the night before and looked around at the dump of an apartment I live in.  At that moment I realized what a cesspool I have been living in.  No wonder my last two roommates turned out to be heroine addicts.  You would have to be on drugs to consciously pay money to live in this shit hole.  I have had some money saved for my one day New Zealand escape.  These days that dream seems to be getting farther and farther away.  I have decided to take a chunk of that money and put it into renovating my apartment.

I am buying new furniture, putting tile down in the kitchen, hardwood flooring in the dinning room and living room, gutting the entire bathroom.  I am going to turn the palace into a sick bachelor pad.  A place a man can come home to and be proud of.  I think if I nice up my surroundings it might help with my depression a bit.  The process has already begun Ryan, Kooky and I went to Home Depot and bought paint and spackle to give the walls a new coat.   I may post updates here form time to time with before and after pictures.

I think that is it for now.  I just thought I would fill everyone in on whats been going on in my life and that I have not given up completely.  I promise I will turn things around.  I am really beginning to feel like my life is on the verge of turning the corner.  I can just sense good things about to happen….

I saw this on my way home from surfing the other day and it got me thinking deep.

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