Last we checked in with Kooky Kyle he was in Raglan working and being encompassed in a flat spell. Here is an update from the man himself.
Hey everyone, I am not dead. Today is my final full day in Raglan, I am hiring a car tomorrow and cruising to Taranaki. The forecast is looking good so I should be getting some fun waves. Last you heard from me I was at Solscape Wwofing and sitting in a flat spell. I made myself surf the beach break pretty much every day until the flatness ended. I can tell you from personal experience the beachie he is talking about is a pretty terrible wave.
What ended the flat spell? A head a half+ west swell lighting up all three points. The first day was wild and wooly, I surfed and Manu and spent more time paddling than I should have. I surfed a day like what he is describing out there. It was easily double overhead and stormy as all hell. I actually got some real bombs that day and got respect for the rest of my time there from all the locals because of it. The second day saw the swell hit in force with big disorganized surf pouring into all three points. I surfed Whale Bay in the morning because I wasn’t up for spending my whole session paddling through the washing machine that was Indicators.
I surfed Manu Bay in the afternoon and got some workings on the Ledge. The ledge is the heavy ass section at the top of Manu that is only really make-able when it is huge and even then it is a crap shoot. I don’t know how Chris deals with surfing over boils on his back hand I just got my ass kicked. Mitch Coleborn was out and that guy along with some other Raglan pros were tearing the place a new asshole. Getting out I heard one of the Raglan guys say “It isn’t the best Manu, but it is the best we have had in a month.” The swell finally cleaned up on the third day and I mistakenly grabed my 5’10” thinking that the swell had dropped enough.
WRONG. Indies was still head and a half plus, offshore and crowded. I had no problem catching waves on the 5’10” but getting them off of the crowd and the drops was another story, and the short of it is I got three waves and got my ass worked for two and a half hours. By the afternoon the swell had actually dropped and I got some great waves and surfed really well considering my kooky ass. My ride had ditched me and taken my clothes back to Solscape with him, leaving me walking barefoot on some unkind twisting turning roads. It is all good though he had work to get to and the surf was worth it. This morning the swell had nearly dried up but i surfed indies again and had another great session trading off on waves with this older kiwi.
With the topic of waves out of the way, I really enjoyed my time here. Once it was discovered that I was more useful doing gardening/landscape/outdoor work, I have to say I didn’t mind working here at all and it stirred memories on working in my garden at my parent’s Maryland house. If you ever come to NZ and want to visit Raglan definitely check out Solscape. They treated Chris right and they have treated me well too. One black mark has happened here, last night there was a rash of small thefts, a wallet, Sarah’s cellphone, a set of iPod speakers were all stolen, we are all pretty sure who did it but there isn’t anyway to prove it. In a place where all the people are friendly and know each other this kind of stuff doesn’t happen but when a thief gets in, it is a field day.
Anyways, I will keep you posted when I can I am not sure what the situation will be like over the next weeks but I will try and keep in touch.—–Kooky Kyle
Bare with me here, I know these stats happened nearly a year ago, but I just found out while trying to compile some yearly stats that I still need to write up the stats for a few months that went by the wayside back then for obvious reasons ( you can read “Bowing Out” if your new here and missed a major incident in my life). April is always a rough month for surfing in the 805, plagued by constant winds, transition between NW and South swell seasons and extremely cold water. Throw in a full time job, school and a falling apart relationship and it became one of the toughest months to surf of my entire life, let alone live. Hey here I am still kicking. I am not sure why I am still alive, but mainly I feel my survival these days is based purely on spite. I am not quite sure whom it is I am spiting by staying alive, but I am sure there is someone out there who may benefit from my death and for the chance just to spite that person I will fight to live no matter what. Survival for spite that is the new campaign for 2012, forget anything else I have mention previously. Here are the stats for April 2011.
Number of Surf Sessions: 21
Days Surfed: 21 Total Time Spent In Water: 33hrs 45mins
Total Number of Waves Surfed: 636
Average Waves Caught Per Hour: 19
Spots Surfed: Mesa Lane: 9 Rincon: 6 Emma Wood: 3 El Capitan: 1 Hammonds: 1 New Jetty: 1
Top 3 Sessions:
3.4/1/11 Am Session: 2-4+ft, Emma Wood
Time in Water: 1.5 hrs
Waves surfed: 25 Talk about a double up barrel fiesta out there this morning and I was not even going to go surf when I woke up this am. The weather was so nice and since I had got a lot of work done at J7 yesterday and an alarming potential for south winds in the afternoon led me to Emma Wood. When I pulled up it was solid chest high with overhead suck up sets. I saw a three wave set A-frame and barrel hard both left and right with only about six guys out. I was on it and at least ten of my waves were solid dry barrels. Then after about 45 minutes everyone showed up making it a bit crowded, but there were like six peaks working all going both right and left making for plenty of room. If I did not have to get dings done at J7 today I would have stayed out till the tide drained. Im so glad Emma has finally got her groove back!
2.4/7/11 PM Session: 1-3+ft, El Capitan
Time In Water: 3 hrs 15mins
Waves Surfed: 49 On my walk to class this morning I noticed that Lead Better had some solid chest high waves hitting the beach break and even larger sets on the point. I got home and checked the buoys and East Santa Barbara was reading 7ft and the wind was hard WNW, off shore for El Cap. Still I was thinking about Rincon when my boy from work Kevin called me and was all physicked on surfing in the avro. With a partner in crime I said lets go to El Capitan and it was on. We got there around 4ish and it was pretty small looking. There were only about four guys on it and occasionally a chest high wave would roll in. Anyway there were plenty of fun looking waist high ones coming through. Thing about El Capitan is that it is a perfect wave no matter the size so even small it was still rather inviting. We ended up having a blast. I dont think I have ever gotten that many waves there ever. Renowned surf board shaper Wayne Rich paddled out with these two mini-groms and two friends of his and he paddled right up to me, introduced himself and said “Hi my name is Wayne you are too good of a surfer to grovel this hard with all the hopping around, but just so you know I am really impressed by your surfing ability”. I was like are you serious, Wayne Rich a man who has seen so many greats surf was stoked on my surfing. He ended up getting a bunch of good ones and everyone out there was just hooting a hollering; a completely different vibe then the last time I surfed out there with Kooky. The waves were twice as good that time but the crowd was super heavy and people were all aggro. See March ’11 of the surf log 3/17/11 entry for more details on that session. All I can say was that it was a most splendid day of surfing.
1.4/2/11 PM Session: 2-3+ft, Rincon
Time In Water: 1.5 hrs
Waves Surfed: 15 Sometimes I surf really well. I think everyone has those sessions where they feel like god out there. I dont care what skill level your at, when you have a session where you surf to the highest potential of your personal ability it feels incredible. I had one of these sessions at Rincon tonight. The funny thing about it was that going into the surf I was feeling rather lackadaisical. I had just finished repairing my favorite board which got destroyed at some epic Rincon two weeks back (see “Bad Decisions Lead to Great Out Comes” and“Yesterday’s (3/24) Rincon Session Revisited” for the skinny on what happened there). Jason and I pulled the tail in about an 1/8 inch from my regular template and it has really turned my performance up a notch. I love computer design programs. It is so easy to make those minute details come out perfect. I think the combination of a good board, fun chest high plus glassy bowls and a light crowd aided in a fun session. I surfed the entire point spending the first half up at River Mouth were I snagged a nice little backside tube and stuck a solid backside section air. The next half I spent in the cove absolutely owning it. By my 15th wave I was completely exhausted. Besides the wind got on it a bit, the crowd picked up and the tide began to make things a bit swampy. Timing is everything in life.
Me at Rincon Circa Spring 2011. Life may not have been working out for me back then but at least I still had surfing.
Well on day one Lisanti went into the Wild. On day 3 Chris Lisanti got fucking wild at the Wild Cat. Its only fitting that I started Day there at the Kitty. Last night, gay night was especially gay. I am pretty sure with the exception of my friends Mark, Adrienne (not my ex-Adrienne) and maybe a handful of other people everyone was playing for the other team. At first I was taking things in strides. I was a little bummed about how the weekend played out getting blown off by that chick I mentioned in both the surflog and yesterday’s blog “Busy Bee, Spring Break Day 2“.
I was determined not to let the instance turn me to depression drinking. Then boredom kicked in and around 1am with no real prospects cruising around the club Wild Cat Adrienne said “Get a shot with me”. I am on spring break after all and have not really gotten hammered in a long time. I’m lying I got hammered on Friday night with this UCSB graduate school chick I met. I thought I might be able to pull her, but then she was kidnapped by her friends in the last minutes of last call and taken home to Goleta. Goleta chicks are near impossible to bring home and visa versa.
Its a solid $30-50 cab ride, pain in the ass bus ride or long, long walk (trust me I walked it once) home for both parties. Rule of thumb downtown: if she wants me to come home with her and it is back to Goleta I pass and when I try to bring them home to the Mesa it is usually the same effect. Its just too far, thus the best one can hope for is digits and shoot for a follow up date. I got her number, now I just have to decide if she was worth giving a call.
Man that got off track. Anyway, Adrienne and I got a round of Fire Ball Shots (whiskey). Now I don’t drink whiskey because for whatever reason whenever I do it brings out the worst drunk I can possibly be. I get angry, emotional, and crazy in a scary way. Everyone who parties knows there is no such thing as doing one round of shots no matter how drunk you are. They are addictive. There is something about the bartender pouring your choice of poison into those little glasses and the looks on your face and those around you. Everyone knows that you are on a one way ticket to being out of your mind.
Yeah, one round led to three, the last one taken at last call. That my friends is the last thing I remember. What happened after that is beyond my reasoning. I went to black out town, population me. This time there was no Kooky to help me put the pieces together. Somehow I managed to get my jacket from coat check and sign out my tab. I also managed to walk home, but barely I think.
Fast forward to 9:30am. I woke up on the floor of my apartment directly adjacent to my front door to a text from Lindsay about if I wanted to surf or not. I was fully dressed, jacket, shoes and all. My pants were torn at the knee and the hip and I had a few bruises on my body. I assume I must have fell down a few times on the walk home, but that is speculation, anything could have happened for that matter. I checked my outbox/inbox of my phone to see if I sent or was received anything. Apparently I sent Wild Cat Adrienne a very incoherent angry message, which I apologized for and she was cool with. That was the only lead I had and she had no recollection of anything after that last shot either.
Whatever, I am still alive. Since I was up I got changed and decided to go for a surf and it was a good thing I did cause Rincon was breaking. It was tiny, waist with the occasion chest high set through the Cove, but it was flawless. I mean oil glass and running down the Cove perfectly. Some how despite being a bit messed up still I surfed exceptional. I am talking a top notch backside performance anyone would be proud of. The crowd was myself and about ten other people. I was super stoked for the session.
From there I had just enough time to scarf down another bowl of cereal and run to class or nap time as I like to call it. Unfortunately we had to do group activities in class cutting into my sleepy time. It was fun and I found out about this cool jazz show that went down tonight of which I have just got back from. On another note before I get into the show I think this will be the last semester I am going to spend in the Culinary program at Santa Barbara City College. The program is very unimpressive to me and I just feel that I am wasting my time.
Instead if you remember back to a few blogs ago I mentioned something about how I really wanted to go cook in Italy. That is exactly what I am going to do. There are a few different culinary schools out there that offer intensive three month programs where I can earn a master chef certificate in Italian and European Cuisine, a stage 2 sommelier certification and a pastry and baking certificate. Basically I will do in three months what will take me at my current rate years if ever at City College. The last five weeks of the program I am required to cook in different restaurants all over Italy.
Who knows maybe I will even meet a nice Italian girl and bring her back with me to America. There will be more on this in blogs to come as I figure the whole thing out. It is about time I do something positive for me for a change. I think a break from both the Wild Cat and Santa Barbara may be good for my health.
Back to the jazz show. This girl in my group mentioned she was going to a jazz show at Soho, my all time favorite venue to listen to live entertainment at in Santa Barbara. I took the stage there once myself and all I can say is that it was one of the best sound stages I have ever performed on (check out the blog “About Last Night” for more on that performance). I asked her about the event and it turns out it was at 7:30 that evening.
I cruised and my buddy was working the door so I got in for free. Turns out all the cats were local and they burned. The majority of the cats on stage were so hot they had me hooting and hollering the entire time. As it turns out they do these “Jazz Jams” as they call them every few weeks at Soho and anyone is invited to play. The next one is April 2nd and I will guarantee that they will be joined by jazz saxophonist, Chris Lisanti. I can’t wait to get up and blow with those guys.
I am even more stoked that it is a fairly regular thing. Hopefully they like my stuff and invite me back to play on other occasions. I guess I am going to have to do some heavy woodshedding over the next two weeks. They had another saxophonist with them and he was exceptional, but in a completely different style then I play. the group was ironically very “West Coast Cool”, where as I am definitely “Harlem Eclectic”. West Coast Cool is a style of jazz that is more lay back and relaxed such as Wes Mongomery or Bill Evans. Harlem Eclectic is more in your face hyper active like Sonny Rollins or John Coltrane.
That brings me to right now sitting here on my couch under my leopard blanket putting the finishing touches on this piece while Alfie lounges in felicity on my lap. Goodnight everyone and stay tuned tomorrow for more Spring Break action.
I am sure I can find a bar just as gnarly as the Shitty Kitty in Italia.
The first Power of Ten of the quarter and the month of February goes to Kooky Kyle, whom also earned himself one bonus point for answering the question posed in the UCB winners blog. The champ is already off to a strong start. At this moment he is on a bus to LA to catch a plane bound for New Zealand and the next chapter of his adventures. Don’t worry there will be plenty of Kooky’s Korner entries written by him about his escapades in the land of the sheep. I for one am very proud of the kid. He also carried himself quite well last night at the strip club.
Now they are not really my cup of tea, but the guy had never been to one at 23. I am sorry but it is a straight man’s right of passage to go to the titty bar at 18 and get a lap dance. I think he was a bit mortified by the whole thing. I don’t blame him. Strip clubs are some of the lowest forms of our civilization. Nothing says I give up like that. The strippers have given up their personal dignity and pride and so have the customers. I would rather buy a pretty girl a nice meal for 100 bucks then have her dance on my lap naked. Maybe that is me just romanticizing life again. Anyway lets get back to the power of ten cause this can of worms is a whole different blog for another time.
1. The Barf Barrel – This could be a blog in itself and it may have been written back in the early myspace days. When I was a junior in high school Mac Donalds had this promotion, twenty five cent cheese burger Tuesdays or something. My boy Odie and I on the way to an after school surf decided to stop and pick up $10 bucks worth. That is forty burgers! We scarfed that shit down then went up to the beach. Turns out it was firing. Solid 6-8ft and barrels everywhere. We ran out there and began tearing it up. Well it did not take long for the indigestion to set in. By my fourth wave I as not feeling so well. I was sitting out there in agony when this perfect left bowl came right to me. All the boys started hooting and hollering. I was the deepest so I had to go. I sucked it up and paddled into the wave. Upon dropping in I was ensconced in the pit. It was solid, so wide I could drive my Honda Civic through it. Half way into the ride I felt my lunch coming up with a vengeance. Sure enough I spewed right into the face of the wave. Then I proceeded to watch the vomit go up the face and around the tube. I basically surfed through a barrel of my own throw up. I barfed another two times on the paddle back out and then was fine for the rest of the afternoon. Odie lost his lunch too. It was a pretty great session. My buddy Jason saw the whole thing from the side while he was paddling back out. Said he almost blew chunks as a result too.
Just Imagine seeing a streak of vomit coming over me and that would have been what the Barf Barrel looked like.
2. Surf Lingo – On the whole I find surf lingo rather ridiculous and somewhat demeaning to surfers, especially when used by non surfers who have no idea what they are talking about. There are some instances where surf lingo or surf speak as I like to refer to it is necessary. That is for certain feelings, emotions and circumstances that can only happen while surfing and be experienced by a surfer. It is for those reasons certain surf speak was created. There were no other words in the human language to describe such. Barrel, tube, pit, larrel, lip, mush burger, green room, slotted, etc. are all terms to describe different parts of the wave/ride. They have meaning in the English language but none of those definitions fit their meaning in surfing. Kook, ripper, shredder, sweeper, sponger, wahine, loc, heavy, punk etc. are all terms that describe different types of surfers and abilities. What I am saying is I am fine with surf lingo when used among surfers, but outside of our sub culture I find it brass and idiotic. When the non-surfing use it I just feel insulted and outraged. If I have to explain it you won’t understand anyway.
3. Worst Surf Trip – Santa Barbara is the worst surf trip that I have ever took cause I have been stuck on it for the last five years. Just kidding. Truthfully I really can’t think of a bad surf trip. Even the ones where the waves were awful I still managed to surf my brains out and have a great time. A few years back I probably would have had a whole list for you. These days as I look back over all my travels I am grateful for every single one. Traveling is one of the most amazing things a person can do. It is an amazing world out there with endless possibilities. If surfing is the outlet one must use to get out there and see what there is to see then good on ya. I know if I was not a surfer I most likely would not have went to half the places I have been. These days most of the trips I take are non surfing trips and so are many of the ones I hope to some day take on. I really want to go to Italy for a few months, back to my native country and see all the sights, eat the food, maybe even cook the food. I want to see Stonehenge. Bottom line there is no such thing as a bad trip except for the ones not taken.
4. Vagrancy – I guess at one time I was classified as a vagrant and have definitely put up my share of them here in Lisanti Land. I believe everyone ought to have a period of his/her life spent as a vagabond living by the seat of their pants, traveling from place to place on a wing and prayer with no destination in mind. I did it for years and it was amazing. At some point life catches up to you and then you to make a decision. Believe me I have plenty of friends who were all former vagrants now living very stable lives. Heck I am one of them. Shit I just put 2gs into my apartment. If that is not stable I don’t know what is. Career vagrants and I do not get along. I hate bums. Quite frankly there are way to many of them here in the city of Santa Barbara. I have a good mind to go sit down with the mayor ask her to deputize me, give me a van, a clan of Pinkertons and let me clean up the town. No questions asked. That is a whole different blog entirely.
These guys need to go. I pay too much money to live in this town to put up with their shit.
5. Garbage Can Books – I find more great books in the garbage then I buy. Its rather alarming to me as a writer myself. Here I am working on a master piece of a novel that I know is most likely to be thrown in the trash. Its probably a terrible work, but my delusional ass likes to think it is good. The other day I picked The Portrait of Dorian Grey, The Canterbury Tales, Tess of the d’urbervilles among other great titles from a trash pail. It was shocking. Books are all we have as a civilization. You know what made us “civilized” and I use that term lightly considering my thoughts and beliefs on the human race, reading and writing. If you finished a book and do not want it any more pass it along to someone else. That is the best way to share a piece of yourself with others. I always give my extended guests a book upon their entrance to the Lisanti Palace. I try to tailor the selection to a work I feel will fit their character and current situation in life. Sometimes I will use a work to teach a lesson of sorts. For example when I was pretty sure my ex-girlfriend was cheating on me I gave her a copy of Gustav Flaubert’s Madam Bovary read. If you do not understand why, read the book cause it is a beautiful tragic love story.
6. Alfie and the Dish Cloth – I am a bit of push over with my pets. I hate being a disciplinarian especially with my pets. Neither was my ex-wife. As a result Alfie grew up with not the best manners. More times then not during dinner hour he would have to be thrown off the table repeatedly. Then when my drug addict roommate Nick was passing out all over the apartment (who by the way I am happy to say is in England going through rehab and hopefully cleaning up his life. Nick I am proud of you man. Stay on the course. Your too good for that shit.) Alfie had free reign over all the food that was constantly getting left out or spilled. Now before we go any further let me say I am not a fan of animal abuse and that I love my cat. Please do not go calling the ASPCA on me. One day after feeling a bit sad and then angry over the Adrienne situation I was eating dinner ALONE! Alfie jumped up on the table and tried to grab my food. I lost it snagged the dish cloth and rat tailed him. I got him pretty good too. So every time Alfie gets out of line all I have to do is pick up the dish cloth and begin to roll it and he bolts. My dinner parties all run a ton smoother now.
7. Girls Destroying Clothing – I have had a startling amount of clothing ruined by women. I cannot even tell you the number of button down shirts that I had all or most of the buttons ripped off in the heat of passion. One in particular wrecked five of my best shirts. I have had pants ruined because the zipper got torn off. Fuck I know if tore off an expensive designer dress on some chick she would be pissed as hell about it. I remove clothing in a sexy yet respectable manner. I am not even going to get into the number of outfits I had ruined on me as a result of vomiting. Ladies c’mon. I know I am irresistible, but does my wardrobe have to suffer for it?
8. Best …Lost Moment – The company …lost has for the greater span of their life as a surf brand been known as anti surfers surf company. In other words they full on touted the party hard, surf less, miss contests, cause trouble, derelict surf life style rather then the clean cut, mellow, guitar playing, life loving drug/alcohol free positive surfer portrayed by the majority of the industry. As a result they built up a team of quite the group of characters and a following even worse. Then they put out these series of films in the early 2000’s documenting and glorifying said lifestyle. It was very entertaining and there were plenty of out of control moments. Girls falling down flights of stairs, drunken stair surfing, Randal who was this bum they found living under the pier in Oceanside and paid in booze to allow the team to abuse. He got his hair lit on fire on many occasion. There were drunken fights, under age riders chugging pitchers of beers for $20, going over the falls at huge shore break Mexico in an inner tube, having a surfing dog burn some of the best pros at Lowers. It was insane. The best moment and I think the entire surf world is with me on is this one is this clip when pro surfer Strider pulled the g-string of some 15 year old girl on the beach in Mexico, called her a slut then jumped back in his jeep and drove away from “Whats really goin wrong”.
I could not find the clip, but this trailer gives a decent idea of what …lost was all about. The side of surfing everyone knows exists, but don’t want to talk about.
9. Covering Your Tracks – This can go for anything in life, but in surfing it is about hiding either where your surfing or surfed to keep the crowds down. For example in Cape Hatteras, NC the sand bars are constantly shifting. A good bar can be around for a day or a week or so. When such occurs initially it is uncrowded. Then some one goes and tells his friend, who tells his friend, who tells his friend and so on and so forth. Next thing you know the place is mobbed the next day. To keep this from happening many of us like to park not right on the spot, drive cars that are not obvious surf cars, I have seen people go as far as hiding their cars behind dunes and then literally covering up the tire tracks. I once told a buddy of mine I was surfing shitty blown out Ventura, all the while looking at perfect Loons with no one out. I knew that guy had a big mouth and I was not about to tell him where I was so he could show up with ten bros.
1o. AnimalPrint – I am a sucker for animal print. It drives me wild. When I see a chick wearing any kind of animal print outfit I am immediately turned on. It brings out our most primal of instincts. For that reason my bedding has always contained some form of animal print. Currently I am running with zebra print satin sheets. Ohhhhh yeahhh, high class. As I am writing this I have a leopard comforter around me from a former bed set. Maybe that is why I have all my cloths torn off by women?
With each session review I get closer to compiling enough data to bring a 2011 year of surfing in review to this site. It will be the first of its kind and I must say I am rather excited to see the results of 12 months of useless surfing data. I know I am crazy. OCD is a terrible disease. I guess one could say I am the Rain Man of surfing except I do not have the ability to count cards.
December started out slow surf wise then the north west swells just began to pour in and as of the moment really have not stopped. Believe me there are no complaints here. My only gripe is with myself and the fact that I blew a number of potential surf sessions thanks to either pure laziness, partying too hard or due to injuries incurred from partying, all of which amounted to December becoming the most underutilized month of the year for me. That being said there were still plenty of good times all around.
In life I managed to begin the renovations on my apartment, which at press time are just about finished. Mentally and emotionally I worked through a ton of issues I have been harboring as well. Maybe not surfing my brains out amounted to some positive in the end. Only time will tell. Here are the stats for December:
Number of Surf Sessions: 23
Days Surfed: 18
Total Time Spent in the Water: 35hrs, 25 mins
Waves Surfed: 442
Average Waves Caught in an Hour: 13
Spots Surfed: Rincon: 8 Emma Wood: 3 Hollywood By The Sea: 3 Little Rincon: 2 New Jetty: 2 Oxnard Shores: 2 C Street: 1 Kooks Peak: 1
Top Three Surf Sessions:
3) 12/20/11 PM Session: 2-3+ft, C Street
Time in Water: 1hr
Waves Surfed: 1o Mother fucking Cstreet, are you kidding me. Is that really where I have had the best session in the last five? Apparently. Kooky and I car surfed down to Emma finding nothing. The choice came down to running back to Rincon or going to Cstreet. I had a feeling it could be fun at the latter so it was on. Not even looking at it we suited up. Out of time it was a make it or break it kind of session, sometimes the best ones. There were two distinct peaks up at pipe. Straight out of the gates I was nailing good waves. I caught ten waves and eight of those had no less then six turns. My last three were sick and some of the better backside turns I have done on my new board. My last wave was so good I quit on it even though I still had easily another 15 minutes of light left. Unfortunately Kooky not really knowing where to sit had a frustrating session. C Street can givith and take it away just as fast.
2)12/4/11 AM Session: 2-4ft, Oxnard Shores
Time in Water: 1hr
Waves Surfed: 17 Finally a surf and a good one at that. I got down to Ventura Harbor and it was all closed out. I was left with a choice of either going to a steadily draining tide Emma Wood or a gamble at the shores. If I choose the shores and lost then I would have once again blew my gas on yet another wasted car surf. My prayers were answered as I came up the beach to head high offshore spitting barrels in every direction I looked. Kooky and I were on it. What ensued was a full on barrel fest. I had some drainers. I saw Kooky get blasted out of a few good ones too. My last wave was one of the better left hand barrels I have caught in a long time. It may have been three days in the making but the first session of the month was on.
1) 12/25/11 AM Session: 3-4+ft, Rincon
Time in Water: 3hrs
Waves Surfed: 24 See a Christmas of Epic Proportions Part I and Part II for more details.
Well there you have it another month of surfing in Lisanti Land folks. As always you can keep a daily tab on my surfing sessions or just the gnarl that happens in my life that keeps me from surfing at the surflog.
Rincon on Christmas morning, the best session of the month with out a doubt.
I know I am like two months behind, but what would any one who reads here regularly expect. If you keep up with the daily updates in the surflog then it should not surprise you. My life is crazy and my time spread thin. I guess I will sleep when I am dead. I am only getting this done today because I happen to be sick and called out of work. I am too sick to surf even. Trust me it is firing right now with some real nice WNW action. You know I’m taking it hard if I am sitting out. I have already missed an epic El Capitan session last night. Whatever, I don’t give a fuck.
Back to November. November for the most part was one big let down after another both for waves and life. Kooky who came out here with high hopes of scoring great point surf got stuck more times then not at shitty New Jetty, which was where the majority of my surfing took place. Now in the summertime that is common place, but in the fall it should not be. There was still some choice days. There were also some terrible drunken nights at the bar that cost me a surf or two and one surfboard that got completely destroyed as a result. You can check out the November ’11 surflog for the details on the entire month. Here are the session break downs. Oh the joys of having OCD.
Number of Surf Sessions: 23
Days Surfed: 22
Total Time Spent in the Water: 35hrs
Waves Surfed: 521
Average Waves Surfed Per Hour: 15
Spots Surfed: New Jetty: 9 Rincon: 3 Emma Wood: 2 Oxnard Shores: 2 Dredge: 1 Sharks Cove: 1 Sand Spit: 1 Little Rincon: 1 Silver Strand: 1 Gold Coast: 1
Top 4 Surf Sessions (I could not leave any of these out to only make it three)
4) 11/25/11 PM Session2: 1-3+ft, Sharks Cove
Time in Water: 2.5hrs
Waves Surfed: 32
We were on our way to battle the immense crowds down south, when Kooky spotted out some waves breaking at Sharks. I knew it would be a bit smaller there, but no one was out and I love that wave. The place is so rip-able and its right here in town. We decided to go for it. Four other guys joined us crushing my hopes of a solo session, but I knew one of them and everyone took turns and was mellow. It was a bit smaller then I would have liked. Only about waist to occasional chest, but it was perfect. I had a ton of really fun waves out there and it was just the mellow session in the midst of a hectic weekend I was looking for.
3) 11/21/11 AM Session: 3-5+ft, Rincon
Time in Water: 3hrs
Waves Surfed: 23
I love bounce back swells. This one hit the Islands and came upon us at a perfect angle. There was a dropping tide and light winds. Rincon was flawless. When I first got out there I was in the cove with about 30 people. An hour later I was sharing the place with a solid 200 crowd spread over the entire point. I had some great ones. I got burned on some that would have been great ones and I burned a few along the way. Classic Rincon. I did stick one huge six foot long gap air that I totally cleared an entire section on. I had a near 540 as well but landed on the back too far on the shoulder to ride it out. Minus the crowd I was stoked.
2) 11/24/11 PM Session: 4-7+ft, Little Rincon
Time in Water: 2hrs
Waves Surfed: 27
Oh another Turkey day west swell. I wanted to surf Rincon but it was over 300 hundred heads strong. I tried a gamble and lost with El Capitan. Little Rincon had a decent enough wave with only about thirty or so guys on it. It was a bit stretched and racy, but there were some good ones. I was having a good time till I went on this dude who was clearly not going to make the section he pulled into. Kooky said he was falling as I dropped into it. The guy paddles over to me and tells me “If you do that again I am going to break something on you”. ”Were you really going to make it” I replied. ”Thats not your call to make” he said. ”No it was the waves call and it was not having it” I retorted. He got mad and told me that when he is on a wave I don’t go. I apologized and left it alone. Then he deliberately burned me on my next wave to prove a point. The old Chris would have gone into the beach. Went to my car, got the tire iron out of my trunk and beat the bejesus out of him. The new Chris just took a deep breath and let it go. Whatever I got a wave from the hotel at Mussel Shoals all the way to the beach break at the bottom of the highway. We clocked it in the car on the way home and it was just under 7/8ths of a mile. Never done something like that there. My legs hurt so bad by the end of it I could barely turn.
1) 11/7/11 AM Session: 2-4+ft, Oxnard Shores
Time in Water: 2hrs
Waves Surfed: 28
Oooo there is nothing I love more then a good old fashioned barrel fest. Not only that but a Hatteras style barrel fest. Lindsay and I pulled up to New Jetty and it was crowded, at least thirty guys deep. Lakey Perterson was out with her little grom crew and camera. The whole place was a scene. On top of that it was a bit walled and wonky. Not nearly as good as the previous day. I noticed the wind was trying to go offshore and with plenty of combo swell still in the water, plus a dropping low tide I made the call to try the shores. The place loves such conditions. I pulled up to the closest spot to Ventura. There was some movie being filmed up on the beach with all their stupid Hollywood hoopla. Right in front looked marginal at best. Then I looked down the beach and was pretty sure I saw spitting barrels. Upon driving a few blocks south my eyes had not deceived me. All I could see in every direction was left and right bowls unloading on a shallow sand bar. I am talking throaty double ups. I got my ass seriously kicked by a few I did not make it out of. The crowd was about twenty strong but spread among an endless amount of peaks. Bobby was surfing the peak next to me just getting absolutely pitted off his skull. I had my share as well. It was a fucking great session. It lasted a solid two hours before the wind came up. What a session.
I have known this girl Micheala from my home town back in New Jersey since my buddy Bojangles dated her when she was 14. Years have passed like their relationship. Thanks to the wonderful internet perpetual waste of time FaceBook.com her and I began communicating pretty much right around the time Adrienne and I were falling apart. It was nice to have someone to talk to especially someone who was an outsider to the situation. When I was home in NJ over the summer playing some shows with a Santa Barbara based theater group, Proximity she took me around the NJ night life scene and even managed to get me to go out for a grovel surf or two. See A Trip Back East blog for more on that trip.
I was rather appreciative since Nick the Kook my usual partner in crime when I am back East was in Chile causing trouble. You can read about his adventures on his blog Staywet.net. The lazy fuck has not written anything in a while. I need his incoherent stupidity to help myself feel better about the garbage I write. As a token of my gratitude I offered Micheala a pass to Lisanti Land anytime she wished. She had been claiming she was cruising for a while during her winter break. I was skeptical. People always tell me they are coming, but end up never making it, Keifer, Cory. Cory may still be waiting for me to pick him up at LAX. At this point he is like Tom Hanks in the movie Terminal.
To my surprise she ended up making it out here in early January and spent a solid seven days. Now whenever I have a Lisanti Adventure Tour I always ask the recipient what he/she want to get out of the trip. Santa Barbara is my town and if it is going down here and you want to be a part of it then more times then not I can make it happen. My connections here get stronger every day and my own person wanderlust spirit has helped me to become a connoisseur on the town. Whether it be surfing, skate boarding, wine tasting, hang gliding, sailing, island tours, whale watching, hiking, party, sky diving, breweries, events etc, I can make it happen.
Micheala was looking to surf and party as much as possible. These two options happen to be some of my stronger points as if this blog has not proved already over the years. First night I had her at the Wild Cat sucking down rum and cokes with the boys. I think I may have thrown in a round of Adios Mother Fuckers just for good measure. It was a Sunday and those never disappoint at the Kitty. A good time was enjoyed with out a doubt by all.
Next morning I had the day off. The options were to either go down south and surf the beachies there or run up north to Jalama where conditions looked rather favorable. I left the decision to her being she was a guest. “I want to go get the biggest waves you can find” was her reply. Remember folks in Lisanti Land one must always watch what they wish for. We rolled up north and it was solid. I was really only expecting chest to head high fun surf. Turns out the beach break was easily 6-8ft and Tarantellas was breaking.
Like a bone head I forgot my wet suit back in Santa Barbara. It was agreed that whomever got out first would allow me to use his suit between Sorbo or Kooky so I could get a few. The gang paddled out at Tarantellas and were all rather shocked with the extreme gnarl factor and power of the wave. Kooky fell in love with it. Micheala and Sorbo found it a bit more then they were looking for. Thanks to Kooky I managed to get a few fun ones too. It was a splendid day on the beach. Nice weather, good conditions and a very light crowd. I think everyone had a great time.
That night Micheala wanted to keep the party going and then set the precedent that we were going to rage ever night till she left on Friday. I do not think I need to tell any of my readers here about my party capabilities, but Micheala’s program nearly had me throw in the towel. It was seven very exhausting nights of pure ridiculousness. From druken fights, to samurai swords through living furniture, to urban golfing, calling a lady about her missing cat at 2am, throwing fruit and lord knows what else at one another on a drunken walk home, bizarre dancing on the cat walk and dance floor, vomiting behind dumpsters, after parties with Mexican gangsters. You name it we did it that week. Then after she left instead of taking the night off Kooky and I went out to the Kitty and I threw an after party that went just about all night with nearly thirty heads in attendance. Good times.
Micheala also got a scrumptious home cooked meal from the Lisanti Kitchen. By request Kooky and I served up grilled chicken pasta primavera in one of the best alfredo sauces I have put together yet. Unfortunately thanks to starting up work at Westmont one meal was all I was able to prepare. I had limited time to give to her tour as well. She was an adventurous one and had no problem taking her skate board and meandering her way all over town.
She got a really fun day at Rincon where I believe she got one of the better waves of her life. Learned first hand just how bad of a wave Leadbetter really is and got to sample my New Jersey wave away from home, New Jetty. On her last night Sorbo and I decided to build a barricade of chairs to the ceiling in front of her bedroom door and then backed it up with the living room couch just to show our endearment towards her. By far I think it was with out a doubt one of the heavier Lisanti Adventure Tours to date. That’s the challenge out there for anyone willing to risk their skin in Lisanti Land, get more ridiculous then Micheala.
Here is a little slide show of some of the ridiculousness.
We have not heard from our good friend Kooky Kyle in quite sometime now. Most of that is my fault since I have been too lazy to post some of his other blogs. Some I am yet to decid whether I wish to or not. One thing is for sure I really must commend the kid. He has managed to survive nearly four months in Lisanti Land living exclusively at the Palace and currently sits in the number two seat under me here at the Lisanti Court.
Don’t think it has been easy. Anyone who has spent any time here knows just how trying it can be on a persons mind, body and soul. He has put up with near deaths due to bike break dysfunction as a result of drunken maliciousness, samurai sword mishaps, my drunken tantrums, my drunken violence, urban golf and some rather out of hand after partying. Feel free to check out the surflog the past few months for the details on some of that. So far he has not lost his mind and I think is actually having a good time. Here is a brief update he wrote like a week ago or so. As I said I am lazy thus just getting around to posting it now. With out further ado here is Kooky’s Korner….Chris
What is new with me? The holiday season ended my tenure at Mesa Produce as they are closed for the winter. Chris graciously hooked me up with another job. This time I am working the pizza and grill stations at Westmont College. Our hours don’t really coincide most days, which is a bit of a pain in the ass. I worked my first day yesterday and all things considered I think I can handle it. My time schedule for New Zealand has been pushed back as I had some unforeseen expenses out here. I lost then found my passport and have to wait for a new one to arrive. When that comes I will get a definitive date for New Zealand. Presently I have my room all to myself as Ryan moved out and until Chris starts the hunt for a new room mate the room is mine, complete with one super under inflated, deluxe air mattress.
We have been hosting a string of visitors as of late. My friend Brendan came up from San Diego for Christmas. I am the Grinch. The commercialism of Christmas repulses me as well as the guilt people use to make you participate in the festivities. I am not Christian and I do feel I should have to participate in the holiday. That said, the way this Christmas went was fantastic, minus the trip to the jail. It got stripped down to the basics, no work, and enjoying the company of friends. I really enjoyed it and I hope Brendan enjoyed himself. Check out the Christmas blogs for the details on that, Part I, Part II and Part III . Currently we are providing a couch for Chris’s buddy Marc and his friend Michaela. I believe Cory is on his way out here as well. John promised to make the trek down from San FranFABULOUS for Chris’s birthday, which is only fair because we both powered the trip to visit him for his birthday.
Surfline has been hyping the latest run of swells we have had, but they have been blowing the wind forecast, calling for light offshores all day and instead we have been plagued by south winds. What would have been pretty epic conditions were consequently torn up and over crowded. Instead of surfing we powered through the majority of the renovations. Ah, so is life. All things considered the job went fairly smoothly, and things are pretty much done; the final touches just need to be put on and the place will look one hundred times better. That should bring everyone up to speed. I have a few blogs that need a little editing and should go up soon. I got a new phone and can’t pull numbers off of it so if you can leave it here in the comments, send me a text with your name, or give it to me via facebook, I would be very appreciative.
Thanks for reading,
Kooky
To fill everyone in on the blanks. Micheala came and went. Her adventure tour will be a rather interesting blog that I have at the moment not had a chance to write. She almost killed all of us, yours truly included. Cory never made it out here. Either that or he is still waiting for me to pick him up at LAX. That is our running joke since I never heard from him and he has not since returned my calls about said trip. My birthday is coming up and it will be a solid three to four day party. Look for a promotional blog about that event tomorrow.
Brendan is coming back up around the 30th for his trial for his Christmas fiasco. I am sure we will fuck some shit up with him here. Kooky has been at Westmont for almost two weeks now. I must say the kid is doing a rather good job and I think everyone likes him better then me at this point. Heck no one fucks with him quite like they did to me when I first started. I fuck with him twice as hard to make up for it. His passport came in the mail about a week ago as well. Things are looking up for the kid. If he does not die here in the coming weeks he should be getting barreled in New Zealand soon. That under deflated air mattress is now flat with a hole in it courtesy of Micheala. Good times.
I have written all this before and am beginning to sound like a broken record. If such is the case so be it. You know what one of the definitions of insanity is? Doing the same thing over and expecting different results. At this point in my life I have stopped expecting different results. Maybe that means I am no longer insane? Or at the very least not in the that sense. I think I still classify for the derangement of the mind meaning.
I am not going to lie to you people I have been blowing it hard lately. You know that New Years proclamation I made about drinking less and putting my efforts toward more positive actions. As it turns out since the first I have been partying harder then ever and drinking like a fish. I must say that at this point I am for augments sake a functioning alcoholic. I guess it was only a matter of time. Then again through out my entire life I have went through periods of heavy drink followed by periods of relative sobriety. Maybe this is just an up turn on the drink side.
Last night I went out to the Wild Cat full on expecting to get shit house wasted and throw an after party at the palace despite the fact that I knew it was the first day of school Monday and that I had a 7am class. End result of the festivities was finding myself doing vodka shots at 6am while Kooky prepared to go to work. Needless to say I did not make it to class instead sleeping the entire day away. The good news is I won the urban indoor golf game we played at 4am to the enjoyment of all my neighbors trying to get some sleep on a Sunday night for their Monday work days.
A few weeks ago I would have been shocked that I would do such a thing. Not this morning. Nope, everything that went down all the way to this chick I was sort of into hooking up with another friend of mine right in front of me was not surprising at all. I have truly become one of those Santa Barbara loser idiots I used to make fun of. At this point I am working on becoming a complete waste of space.
I had this realization of how hard I am currently blowing it in life as I stood there mid point this afternoon at El Capitan watching five guys enjoy small little waste high plus peelers. I sat there holding my wet suit still a bit drunk taking it all in. The green grass rock speckled ground under my feet, the setting sun and subsequent orange sky, the fact that I could not see anything around me but trees and rolling green hills with a llama ranch on it. And of course the waves. El Capitan is perfect. I mean perfect. Watching the waves break there is mesmerizing. I don’t think there is a surfer alive who would shake a stick at it.
The cool wind felt amazing on my face. I took a deep breath of the fresh air. This is what life is really about I thought at that moment. This is what I should be doing. I am better then some alcohol swilling miscreant of the night in a vain attempt to drink my problems away. Why had I let myself get to this point. The in shape motivated 22 year old professional surfing Chris Lisanti would slap the shit out of me if he got into a time machine and saw me, himself and what I have let myself become. I don’t know if I have found rock bottom yet, but I am for the most part at the moment existing at the bottom of the barrel.
I tugged my wetsuit on and jumped into the water. My head hurt a bit from both hangover and dehydration. I stroked into my first wave, a clean waist high peeler and cracked off three solid turns. Then I started catching a bunch of fun ones dismantling each with a solid backside attack. Things made perfect sense out in the water. If only I felt the same way on land. There in lies the problem perchance. I have been spending far too much time on land and far too little in the water.
Towards the end of the evening as darkness was settling in Kooky and I post change stood there in solitude watching one last perfect little set peel down the point. I looked at him and said “you know I am better then all this”. He gave me an approving nod. We turned away and walked through the dark to the car. I don’t have answers right now, only questions. I can’t promise anything. What I do know is that I can do better…
For the last two weeks things were looking mighty good for Mauriello to take this quarter and the year. Where had Kooky Kyle been. Well if you follow this blog then you already know the answer. Poor Kooky has been run ragged by me all over Santa Barbara in plenty of surfing and drunken mishaps. All the chaos makes it hard to come up with UCB topics. Not to mention when you are living in the court of Lisanti Land I answer most of your topics orally anyhow. Mauriello can attest to that. Kooky put forth an amazing Power of Ten one that would make even the likes of Nick the Kook proud. He snags two points for his efforts.
1. What if trees could talk?: Here is something I think about quite often since trees live for such a greater duration in comparison to the that of humans. I personally am highly impressed by trees. Their immense size and ability for survival makes me think they must be of a higher plane than us. I believe they most likely can talk but care not to waste their breath on such simpletons as human beings. I like to assume that if trees could talk it would be much like Tolkien wrote in The Two Towers, the second book of the Lord of the Rings saga.
2. Pigeons Vs. Seagulls: Wow what a fight, beach rats against the city rats. I have seen both species go at it in the heart of the city and on the beach. Unless out numbered the seagulls always win. If I had to pick a favorite and mind you this a stretch since I hate both species of birds I would have to go with sea gulls cause they make for hours of fun entertainment whenever I am stuck going to the beach outside of surfing. Here is a fun little side story. I hate just sitting on the beach. It bores the shit out of me. Over the summer I went on a beach date with this chick. She fell asleep on the blanket we were sitting on. As soon as she did that I went to town building an intricate society of sand castles with roads and different class neighborhoods. She ends up dozing off for nearly three hours. Upon waking she found herself surrounded by this bizarre sand community I had been working on. She looked at me with this interested yet somewhat appalling gaze. Needless to say she did not return any of my calls after.
3. Ridiculous T-Shirts: This is a topic close to my heart. I have always had a thirst to wear the dumbest most nonsensical, crazy colored t-shirts I could get my hands on. I used to scour the surf shop racks for them as a kid, then raid my sponsor’s barracks for the most bizarre stuff I could find. These days I score most of my finds on the $3 rack at Kmart. You should see some of the gnarl I wear. Let your imagination run wild on this one. Today for example I wore a shirt with nothing but a giant red human heart on it. Yesterday I wore a shirt with a picture of a llama on it that said “I am not a camel, I am a llama”. Day before that I wore a Globe shirt completely covered in a variety of assault rifles, hand guns and shot guns. That is just the last three days. I have an entire closet full.
I have just a few crazy shirts. Yes I have extreme OCD and those shirts are color coordinated.
4. My Accent: This is one that always provides a laugh at my expense everywhere I go. In my younger days I at times got hot headed about it. Now I just work material off of it and enjoy partaking in the laughter. If you can’t laugh at yourself sometimes then your taking life too seriously. Shit I spend the majority of my time laughing at myself. My crazy accent also has gotten me laid on many of occasion. People never quite know where I am from and I have got everything from Aussie, to European, to just plain idiot. What is this accent I speak? It is a mix of New York, New Jersey, Surfer, Jazz Cat, Hipster, Californian, Australian, Italian. Basically I like to sum it up as Lisantbonics.
5. Serenity Garden: I get stressed out sometimes. A few years ago I got stressed out most of the time and did not know how to deal with it except to fly off the handle and make an angry fool of myself. Then I was at this Japanese exhibit in Florida and found real peace walking through their intricate little gardens. When I returned to California I began a modest garden of potted succulents I grew from clippings. Then I started finding all these plants in the trash my neighbor would throw away when the plants started looking ugly on her. I pruned, trimmed, re-potted and nursed these plants back to health and have gotten great results. All the while I would become very relaxed out there doing it. Then again my backyard does overlook the ocean on one end and the beautiful mountains that surround Santa Barbara on the other. Now that they have finished construction on City College it has gotten even more amazing back there. I know whenever I am feeling especially down about the Adrienne situation I go our there and do some pruning and feel better. Why cant people be like plants so that when you show them love and tenderness they grow to be marvelous. I know my plants will be there for me as long as I take care of them.
A flower I picked from my garden, the whole garden pulled back and a few of my potted friends including, basil, agave, pineapple, thyme, rosemary and others.
6. French Food: I fucking hate french food, with the exception of their baked goods. It is so involved and over zealous. Let me tell everyone a fact back in the days of monarchy France one of their kings married an Italian princess and she brought her entire Italian cook staff over to Paris with her. Her crew and the kings crew developed the French cuisine most known to us today. Not to mention that we have been cooking over in Italy as long as the French. The Italians were just too lazy to write it down.
7. What Does Alfie Do When He Runs Away: Alfie has become quite the little Houdini finding ways out of my apartment when not a door or window has been opened. For a while I figured he just ran around killing shit and eating garbage. Since his recent heroin addiction courtesy of my former roommate I am pretty sure he is running all over town looking for another fix. With out Sleepy Time Nick here (the loving nick name we gave him since the heroin always made him fall asleep, sometimes even standing up) anymore poor Alfie has no more junk to get him his fix. Poor cat went through a tough withdrawal. Minus all the chunks of fur missing from him and the insatiable cravings I would say he is almost back to normal.
Alfie all strung out with no fix in sight. Sorry bud, but I taught you better.
8. Favorite Author: Myself of course. Just kidding. I suck compared to the greats. To pick one would be a real crime but I will narrow it down to my top few in no order: Dickens, Hemingway, Thoreau, Ayn Rand, George Elliot, Shakespeare, Thomas Hardy, Voltaire, Faulkner, Hawthorne, Dostoevsky just to name a few.
9. What Does Alfie Think About the Girls I Bring Home: I don’t know what he thinks. These days I try not to keep them around long enough for him to get attached to them. Poor Alfie was left behind by my ex-wife. He was her cat, but due to her career path out of the country she was unable to care for him. This left him in the custody of me, which for any living creature is a pretty scary feat. Since then he constantly has been searching for another female and when I have such guest he charges her. Then he could not get enough of Adrienne. She left and the poor guy did not come away from the front door for weeks. Since then I don’t really like women to get too close to him. It is easier for her just to walk out on me. At least I know why she is leaving. Poor Alfie has no idea at all. He just knows that she is gone. I think that is way worse.
10. Why Surfing in Santa Barbara Sucks: First off surfing in general sucks. The waves are always a let down. The spots are always too crowded and it was better twenty years ago. For all those reasons is why surfing sucks in Santa Barbara. In all seriousness surfing in Santa Barbara is a bit more challenging in the sense that one really must be in tune with every swell angle, wind direction and swell period if he is to score the best possible waves. You better have a reliable car that gets good gas mileage for all the driving involved in the hunt. Either that or have a very, very versatile quiver and a love for stand up paddling. The biggest reason why surfing sucks in Santa Barbara is to watch a handful of world class waves be completely dormant more then 75% of the time.
Yep Surfing in Santa Barbara sure is terrible. Don't come here you will get skunked.
Surfing Ruined My Life 