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“The Greatest Christmas Ever”: Christmas Dread Part II

December 28, 2011 by clisanti

If you missed Part I click here to catch up.

Things started off rather amazing.  Christmas Eve West and I caught some really fun Rincon in the morning See December 24th of the Surflog for more about that.  Later the boys and I cruised back to the ‘Con.  Conditions were perfect if only it was about four feet bigger.  Then again if my grandmother had a dick she would be my grandfather.  That is an old Russian saying I picked up from a friend of mine a while back.  He would always tell me that in the water whenever I would say “it would be a ton of fun right now if the waves were six feet bigger”.

I ended up just bumbling around the rocks hunting for sea glass, shells and building rock stacks.  I played with a few random dogs that crossed my path as well.  Christmas Eve dinner featured steaks grilled on my coal grill in the back yard, a very nice bottle of French wine (It was Christmas so I decided to spoil myself).  The wine ended up being amazing and as a result I would not put the cork back into it.  The entire contents had to be drank.  West and I killed the bottle since poor Kooky had to work.  That kid is a go-getter.  We capped the evening off with a viewing of Mel Brooks’ masterpiece “Space Balls”.  How can it get better then that?

Before we proceed any further I find it of great importance to briefly speak on what happened or what may have happened on the night of the 23rd.  It was West’s first night in town and all three of us were in the mood to rage hard.  For whatever reason I bought a few days prior a fifth of Jose Cuervo.   Now tequila and I are bad news.  Whenever I get hammered off the stuff I get wild and those are the mornings I wake up with little recollection and big problems.

Of course I poured a few rounds of shots and it was off to the bar.  On the way down, mini shots all around.  Then at Wild Cat we did three rounds of Tequila shots, which we chased down with AMFs!!!! It was bad news.  Turns out none of us remembered a thing, but all were in agreement that a good time was had.  I know what little I do remember was awesome.

Skip forward to Christmas Day.  I awoke Christmas morning to no tree, no presents, no family and absolutely no fanfare.  Instead I woke up Kooky and West and we cruised to Rincon.  The point was firing.  The tide was a little high, but there was a light crowd and solid head high lines coming through.  For the next three hours I dismantled the entire point taking four runs from Indies to Cove.  Out of twenty four waves I caught at least fifteen were all time rides.  Kooky and West got some fun ones too.  Tom Curren was out with his sons and Yadin Nicol was all over it as well.

After a remarkable surf we rolled home for breakfast.  We made a quick stop at Vons to pick up a bottle of wine for dinner since I ended up drinking the entire bottle the night before.  This time I went with one of my favorite California red blends.  It has been nice to splurge on some nice wine this holiday considering how tight my wine budget has been the last few months.  At the check out counter the lady behind the register had some gnarly Christmas get up going that she finished off with her hair froed out and decorated like a Christmas tree.  Don’t worry I took a candid photo with my cell phone.

Back at the palace Kooky did up his famous crepes (they are incredible, kid has skills), while I did home fries and scrambled five eggs. It was a feast fit for a king and we reveled in it.  Upon the conclusion of Breakfast all three of us did the call home to our families thing and pretended like we missed them, all the while sitting on my back patio staring at the ocean enjoying the sunny 70 degree weather.  Jersey was like 35 degrees.

Then it was off to Rincon for round two.  Tide was a bit drained and the wind had gotten on it a bit.  It was still chest high plus and there were some real nuggets coming through the cove.  I had a few magical ones although tweaking my knee a bit in the process.  Kooky got the barrel of his life through the cove.  West had a good time as well.

Christmas dinner featured my acclaimed chicken parmigiana over gemelli pasta in my family’s old world marinara sauce.  We ate, we drank, we shared story.  Not once was there any disagreements, disappointment, or expectation.  It was just three friends sharing a meal and enjoying each others company.  If that is not what the true spirit of Christmas is all about I do not know what is. “It was the best Christmas Day ever”!  The night was a whole different ball game altogether.  Stay tuned for part III where things get just a little bit gnarly courtesy of tequila and Sancho Clause.  For in life even the best plans of mice and men shall go awry.

Christmas Tree Hair

This was our Christmas Cashier, trimmed and garland.  Sorry for the blur but I had to take it in secrecy all spy like.

Rock Stacking

One of my rock stacks made at Rincon on Christmas Eve

Rincon Christmas Day 2011

Christmas Morning at Rincon. mmmmmmmmmm!!!!!

Posted in Life, News From Lisanti Land, Surfing | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

How a Christmas of Epic Proportions Led to Absolute Dread

December 27, 2011 by clisanti

Merry fucking belated Christmas everyone.  How was your holiday? I actually don’t really care to be honest.  Wow I’m mean, maybe even a slight touch Ebenezer Scrooge in me.  I guess I am still waiting for the ghosts to show up and give the incentive I need to change my life.   In a way that did sort of happen this December 25th except it did not come in the form of apparitions, but instead rounds upon rounds of tequila shots.  Nothing says happy holidays like complete and total inebriation.

We are getting ahead of ourselves at the moment for there is a lot tell.  I do believe you will find it a rather entertaining yet somewhat disturbing read.  Then again that is the case with most of what I post here.  This is going to be a two parter as the amount of insanity and ridiculousness that has gone down in the last 48 hours even blows my mind.  Shit it may run three parts and grab one of the top ten for 2011.

Christmas as most of you know is far from my favorite holiday.  When I was ten I contracted phenomena on Christmas and almost died. My first girlfriend and love dumped me on Christmas Eve when I was 15 years old over the phone.  As a result I ended up cultivating an unnatural disdain for women folk that lasted for nearly a decade and most likely still lingers in my subconscious.  You can sure as fuck bet Adrienne did not help that case either.  I really need to move on.

I read some study on getting over hard break ups and it said the amount of time it takes to heal is about one month for every three you were together.  So I guess I am looking at around eight months.  Yeah! Just two more months to go.  Alright.  Enough of that this story has nothing to do with her other then the fact that it would not have taken place had she still been with me.  I promise I will not mention such again for this series.

When I was 18 I was coming up the stairs to my apartment during my tenure at Berklee in Boston and the strap to my saxophone gig back broke sending my priceless tenor saxophone careening down three flights of steps.  At 19 I was arrested for a certain unpleasantness I would rather not discuss on my blog.  All I will say is be smart and stay on the right side of the law.  It’s not worth it.

At 21 my apartment caught fire as a direct result of faulty wiring on my Christmas tree.  My ex-wife and I lost all of our belongings in the fire and had to move in with my parents for six months while we got back on our feet. When I was twenty three my ex-wife broke her back in three places.  Our Christmas present that year was that after a long road of rehab she would make a full recovery.  At twenty six my ex-wife and I decided to split up during Christmas time.

My string of Christmas bad tidings is ludicrous and the main reason I decided to sit this one out this year.  There is not one Christmas decoration in my home. I just could not handle going home to New Jersey.  Hold on what am I saying.  Home is Santa Barbara California.  The last three years I have been celebrating Christmas with my family whom I love and adore.  This year my head was not there.

I needed some time for myself for a change.  All fall between work and school I have been running myself ragged.  Add the many bouts with heavy depression and even heavier drinking, throw in a heroin addict roommate and you have quite the aperture to over come.  By December I was spent physically, emotionally and mentally.  Just the thought of going home and facing my entire family and the questions of how things were going was too much to bare.

I hate lying and I hate lying to my loved ones more.  If I were to tell them all the truth about things I would just get countless lectures about my poor life choices and how I should cut my losses and move back east.  Not to mention the fact that my cousin just got engaged.  Him and I are the same age and have been pitted against each other by our parents for as long as I can remember.

The two of us don’t compete, but I constantly had to hear about how great my cousin Rich was doing and how much I was blowing it.  I love my cousin and wish him the best in life.  We are different people making a comparison is completely absurd.  My sister is toting around her fiancé as well.  I just could not deal with seeing two happy couples on the verge of spending the rest of their lives together in what I hope will be both harmony and bliss.  Not after all I have been through.

I canceled my plans and decided to hang up in Santa Barbara with Kooky, Ryan and this dude West who decided to come up from San Diego, another recent New Jersey expatriate, to not spend the holiday alone.  Since I am off from work till January sixth I was really looking forward to kicking back, surfing and relaxing.  Just as most happenings in Lisanti Land things got exacerbated rather fast.

So now the stage is set for a tragedy or a comedy or maybe a little bit of both.  Tune in tomorrow to find out exactly how Christmas this year got even a little too gnarly even for me.

Christmas Van

Merry Christmas…I don’t think this guy is allowed to go by elementary schools and hand out candy canes.

Posted in Life, News From Lisanti Land | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments »

The Music of My Life

December 21, 2011 by clisanti

This weeks first UCB makes a winner of Mauriello.  Wow first he snags yesterday’s extra point and now the UCB, not to mention the whopper of a power of ten he put up.  Ladies and gentlemen watch out this guy wants the win for the year.  Mauriello picked a topic very close to my heart and that is “what is the soundtrack of your life”.  This is a topic which has certainly been in my head for as long as I can remember.

First off I have very deep roots in music being a prodigy on the saxophone as an adolescent, studying jazz performance in college and ultimately working in the business on and off for the last fifteen years.  The Groovin’ High section is a perfect example of my love for music.  I mean look how much random bull shit I write about just one song.  It always amazes me when I meet someone who has no real interest in music or what they listen to.  It blows my mind.  In Lisanti Land I have music going nearly all the time.  From the moment I wake up till I go to sleep I have some form of tuneage playing be it on my ipod or radio.

I used never turn my stereo off when I lived in Boston.  Back then I had a five disc changer and just had it on constant repeat all day whether I was home or not.  This way when I got home there was music on.  I even went to sleep with music on.  There is something about having grooves all around me all the time that just seems right.  As a matter of fact the only time I don’t want music is when I surf.  That is my spiritual time, please pardon the cliche.  In the water I am completely at peace or at least focused beyond the need for any distraction.

Why do I always have music playing you ask.  Mainly it is that I need something to allow my brain to slow down and focus on just one task.  If I do not have music playing my mind wonders all over the place with tons of different thoughts.  If there are tunes on then that captures half my mind leaving the other to stay on task.  It does not matter what type of music although I do prefer jazz, hip/hop, r&b and soul.  I will take any style of music over none at all.

The soundtrack of my life.  Well that is a tough one.  When I am just chilling at  the end of the night some Bill Evans or mellow Miles always relaxes me.  These days I have found quite the solace in sad love songs.  Corinne Bailey Rae, Nora Jones, Ashanti, Diana Krall, Billy Holiday all have a few tunes that have gotten me through the sad times these days. Now I finally have an appreciation of such.  Up until my own heart break I never really understood their meaning cause I do not believe I ever really had a heart.

Mostly my ipod is the sound track of my life.  I have nearly 4,000 songs on there and each one has its own special meaning to me.  Since it is always on shuffle it has become my life sound track.  I have it going right now as I write these lines, Dave Brubeck “So What’s New”.  What will come next I do not know,but one thing is for sure there will always be music.

 

Posted in Music, User Choice BLog | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments »

Oh Billy!!?!

December 21, 2011 by clisanti

I promised myself I would write something significant this week.  Then Kooky Kyle forgot to pay the the cable bill and the swines turned off my internet.  After a round about phone conversation with a very nice sounding operator named Mindy I found myself paying way too much money to keep my “high speed” connection going.  Here is a quick play by play on how that conversation went.  Remember while reading this that I AM AN ASSHOLE.

Me: I went to log onto my internet today and surprisingly it said I needed to call customer service.
Mindy: Let me check your account.  As it turns out you owe us $84 USD in unpaid bills.
Me:  Really, that is surprising cause I know I sent a check in last month.
Mindy: Well sir it looks like you only paid $75 of the $89 you owed us and then there was no payment for December so we turned you off.
Me: Well I guess that is one way to get my attention.  So Mindy why do you think I only paid $75. Is it because you think I am stupid and did not know how to read my bill correctly?
Mindy: No sir I am not calling you stupid.  Maybe you just misunderstood.
Me: MISUNDERSTOOD!!! Wait are you calling me a retard who cannot read a bill correctly (this is most likely true).  I feel completely insulted right now.  It is a good thing you caught me on a good day or I might have hung up the phone and proceeded to slit my wrists in my bath tub.  Do you really want my suicide on your head Mindy.
Mindy: Sir, no I did not insinuate you should kill yourself at all.
Me: Thats right you didn’t, I did.  You know I am actually a rather smart man.  It baffles me that you think I am dumb.
Mindy: Ummm, sorry sir, uh. So your internet will be back on anywhere from eight to forty eight hours.
Me: I think I need to talk your superior cause I feel rather slighted here.
Mindy: I will transfer you…..Click

The bitch hung up on me and I was too lazy to call back.  over $100 later I got my internet back.  Hooray for monopolies.  I thought my trust busting friend Roosevelt took care of such bullshit.  I guess not.  That is the problem with these utility companies they can do whatever they want cause they know they got you by the balls.  Just for that I have a bit of fun with their customer service representatives.  I am sure Mindy got a good laugh or cry out of our little conversation together.  I hope she did not decide to slit her wrists.

As I was saying I wanted to write about something significant, but after all that hassle I guess I am just back to writing about “money, hoes and rims again”.  Tell me where that is from and who says it in the comments for 1 extra UCB point!  Actually that is an oxymoron since I have no money, no hoes and my car does not have rims :(.  I guess that means I am just writing absolute gibberish as usual, but you are reading it.

I posted some quality shit in the December ’11 edition of the surflog.  There are five new action packed sessions if you want some thing to read.  This week I am going to write two UCB’s. At the moment I am not married to any topics put down so if you have something I would post it.  The power ten is also still up for grabs.  This month’s winner may come down to the power of ten.  Besides that I have some fun comical stuff to post, a new recipe, and maybe even another short story.  Don’t give up on me yet.  If anything blame Kooky, but then again maybe just blame Adrienne since we here in Lisanti Land have decided that all my problems and those of my friends in the last six months can be tied back to her in some way or another.  I know real adult.  Then again life is all about passing the buck.

Its not my fault. Never!

This guy must be a cable company executive. I bet he has money, hoes and rims.

The cable company is not going to get his guys balls...

Posted in Anger, Life, News From Lisanti Land | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Stick that Thumb Out: Kooky’s Korner

December 17, 2011 by clisanti

This Edition of Kooky’s  Korner Kooky covers a topic which I have benefited from many a time, Hitch Hiking.  In my opinion it is one of those throw back common courtesies that has been lost in today’s society.  There was a time when one could stick a thumb out and get a ride just about anywhere.  Sometimes new friends were made, ideas exchanged or at the very least a good deed done.  These days hitch hiking has gotten a bad name with all the crazies out there.  

The thing is how many people really get robed, murdered, killed or raped in comparison to how many do not from hitching.  I mean they don’t make reports on the news about hitch hikers who have no adversity.  I guess a few bad apples spoil the whole basket.  I personally am a strong advocate for hitch hiking being on both sides of the coin.  This is not my forum to write and Kooky did a pretty good job on the issue.  I will let him run on it…Chris 

What do you do when you see a person with a thumb out walking down the side of the road? Most people in America wouldn’t think twice about continuing driving, and most Americans wouldn’t hitchhike. Well I am not most people. I am Kooky Motherfucking Kyle.

 The first time I ever hitch hiked was in Belize my sophomore year of college. I had just taken a plaster cast of Jaguar tracks on the edge of a jungle road that ran into a nature preserve and was walking back. I reached the edge of the preserve and was walking along the edge of a massive orange orchard.  It just so happened that a field worker was rolling down the rutted dirt road on a dirt bike. He pulled over and asked if I needed a ride back into town. With limited time to catch breakfast, I didn’t hesitate.
I jumped on the back of the bike and we zoomed off down the rough road.  I only really started hitch hiking in my final year of college to cut down on my walks to class. Short rides really, maybe a half mile. They made my day. Often times it would be class mates slightly puzzled that I was walking back from class and even more so that I was hitch hiking. Lately I have been using it as a means of getting around town here in Santa Barbara (most often back from the Kitty). I have gotten rides from a French surfer, a cute girl in her mid twenties, a British guy and his girl, and a taxi driver who was “headed that way anyway”.
On the converse side I have given people rides before too. Once on the way to a regatta, I was in the truck pulling our crew team trailer. This old black man came up and asked where we were going camping thinking that the shells were canoes. Well it turned out he was going in our direction and had no problem riding in the bed of the pick up. One glorious thing about the south is people can ride in the bed of a pick up even on the interstate.
 This past spring I tossed an ad on the wonderful Craigslist and gave a hobo couple in their twenties, their dog and her 10 day old puppies a ride from Wilmington NC to Baltimore MD. It was cool they had a different path in life and were pretty interesting as a result. These people had hitch hiked across the country and back, hopped trains, totally transient.  Gnarly as they were, the chick had a Mohawk, the guy had tats on his face and a rat tail, they were good people. I asked them about hitching and they said the people who pick you up are a strange mix of Bible thumpers, concerned parents who see their kids in the hitch hiker, people who hitch hiked back in the 60’s and 70’s, and people like me who are just nice enough to give you a ride. I asked them where was it easiest to hitch hike,  the girl said that hitching was easier in the south, because everyone has pick ups and you can just hop in the bed.

The fact that hitch hiking is frowned upon in America saddens me. Have things come so bad in this country that we cannot trust one another? Sure I the rider might be a nutso serial killer, but they don’t know that you aren’t either. In other parts of the world it is still acceptable. I hopefully will be in one of those places this winter, New Zealand. I will acknowledge that hitch hiking is not the safest activity to partake in, but it is not nearly as dangerous as people make it out to be. Trust your gut instincts, it will usually tell you when there is something arye. So, share rides, you never know what interesting tale you may hear or what interesting person will pick you up – Kooky Kyle

I have to say that I myself passed by this dirty looking homeless couple along Sea Cliffs the other day and just by the look of them I could imagine the stench.  I shook my head and drove on by.  If there was a puddle next to them I probaly would have sped up and drenched them.  Then again I am a fucking asshole.

I dont know if you want to give this guy a ride, but you can decided that for yourselves.

Posted in Kooky's Korner | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

La Nina, Why: October 2011 Surfing In Review

December 15, 2011 by clisanti

October is usually a crazy month for surf around here.  This one was rather average, although there were some choice days.  I had a few keepers at Rincon and plenty of beach break action.  I think this may the be winter of the beach breaks unfortunately.  October marked the return of Kooky Kyle to Lisanti Land, this time joining the court at the Palace for an extended stay.  You can check out Kooky’s Korner for his take on things from time to time.  Kooky and I went on a 24 hour idiot mission up to San Francisco to surprise our boy and UCB all star John Mauriello, surfing a few spots on the way up.  Besides that I kicked a second heroine addict roommate out of my house.  Third time is a charm I guess.   Business as usual here in the Land of Lisanti.  Here are the stats and yes I know I am posting October’s stats in December.  I am month behind.  Always a day late and a dollar short.

Number of Surf Sessions: 21
Days surfed: 20
Time In Water: 34hrs
Number of Waves Surfed: 497
Average Waves Surfed Per Hour: 15

Spots Surfed:
New Jetty : 8
Rincon: 7
Waddel Creek, Santa Cruz: 1
Moss Landing Montery:  1
Surf Beach: 1
Santa Clara River Mouth: 1
Emma Wood: 1
La Conchita: 1

Top 3 Sessions in October:

3. 10/27/11 AM Session: 2-3+, New Jetty
Time in Water: 1.5 hrs
Waves Surfed: 25
You know those sessions when you feel like  God? I had one today.  It was only about chest to head high and a bit crumbly with the wind on it, not to mention a larger then optimal crowd.  I was on and that was all that mattered.  Every good wave seemingly came right to me.  All my turns were crisp. I stuck a bunch of airs.  It was just one of those days.

2.  10/18/11 AM Session: 2-4+ft, Surf Beach
Time in Water: 1hr 50mins
Waves Surfed: 27
Ahhh, Surf Beach and just about the one year anniversary of the fatal shark attack that happened there. With minimal swell and a need for adventure Kooky and I threw caution to the wind and went up to the wild north.   Upon pulling into the lot we were greeted by fun looking glassy chest high plus bowls with out a person in sight.  As we got changed this crazy old man who had to be over eighty and was born in Lompoc in 1924, lived there his whole life, began telling us all these gnarly stories of way back in the day.  He lost his wife of like thirty years last year and found himself a bit lonely these days.  I always find it really sad when old people lose their spouse after all that time.  I could not imagine the heart break.  Turns out he should not drive cause he has dementia but does anyway cause he does not give a fuck.  First thing he said to us was “I’m 86 years old and lost in life, maybe I always had been”.  Those words always win me over.  Then as we were about to paddle out this lady whom I have surfed both there and Jalama with claimed some guys saw a 12 foot great white there yesterday. I told her “well that was not today now was it” and paddled out.  Turns out the session was super fun and both Kooky and I scored some sick waves.  I got a few barrels.  We stopped at the Jalama Cafe for Lunch,  my favorite eatery in the area and ran into that same old guy.  What an awesome day.

1.  10/13/11 AM Session: 4-6ft, Rincon
Time in Water: 2hrs 45mins
Waves surfed: 27
Oh man, Rincon.  Today was the first day I have to say Rincon really cooked for me this season.  Kooky and I got there and the lot was packed.  I was going to drive away, but my rule of thumb is that if I can get a space in the front lot then I will surf the place regardless.  I ended up snagging a spot and was stoked I did.  The place was on.  I started up at River Mouth and surfed from there down three times.  I had some sick ones.  Out of the 27 waves at least twenty had no less then 9 turns.  I got two from high River Mouth to Low Cove and called boxed one from high cove.  Killian was out and had some guy filming him with a 35mm.  I had so many sick ones it was incredible. I love Rincon.

Well there you have it the month of October in surf sessions.  As always if you enjoy reading these little session reviews check out the surflog where I post some type of insanity about both my life and surfing every single day.

Alright this was not taken in the month of October. My boy Dave's girl Roo shot it at Santa Clara River Mouth back in March. Its still a sicky though.


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Lisanti Book Club, Book XIII: The First Forty Nine Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway

December 14, 2011 by clisanti

Book XIII: The First Forty Nine Short Stories, Ernest Hemingway,  1938, 499 pages

Earnest Hemingway is one of my favorite authors.  The guy knew how to write and everything he wrote had some deep hard meaning to it.  Right now in my life I finally understand why he was able to write so passionately and for that I commend him.  Here was a man who went to war in Europe, got injured.  While in the hospital he met a female nurse he feel in love with and visa verse, who subsequently left him for something she thought was better.  “The major of the battalion made love to Luz and she had never known Italians before, and finally wrote to the States that theirs had been only a girl and boy affair.  She was sorry, and she expected, absolutely unexpectedly, to be married in the spring.  She loved him as always, but she realized now it was only a boy and girl love.  She hoped he would have a great career and believed in him absolutely.  She knew it was for the best.”  Hemingway.    This is a decent collection of short stories.  I am about two hundred pages in and at my current slow rate of reading you can easily join me in this one.

Posted in Lisanti Book Club | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

“Cross My Mind” Jill Scott

December 12, 2011 by clisanti

This edition of Groovin’ High, Cross My Mind, by Jill Scott goes out to a woman who will always have a special place in my heart.  In all actuality she was better then any them, better then most of the human race.  With out a doubt too good for me.  I did her the best favor I could have ever, by leaving her.  Back in those days I was real mess and an immature iconoclastic fool.   What she wanted of me was stability and at the time I could not offer such and as a result was a brick drowning her slowly.  I cut the rope she had tied to her ankle, allowing her to float back to the surface leaving me on the bottom where I belonged.

I think and hope that she has found the happiness she deserved and I am sorry I dragged her down for all those years.  Whenever I hear this song I always think of her and of us and how fitting the tune is of our situation.  The irony of it all is that she is the one who turned me on to both Jill Scott and Cross My Mind.   In a way I owe her a debt of gratitude.  Back then I was a parasite sucking the life out of her.  When we finally broke free of each other I learned how to exist on my own.  Everything that happens to us, man kind that is, is a stepping stone on the path to whatever it is we were meant to be.

I have met many a person who spends his days attempting to forget the past.  I know others who are stuck in a constant state of denial reliving the past.  I think we need to remember the past no matter how painful, cause it is how we got where we are at this very moment, while I am writing this and you reading this.  An old friend contacted me about a few weeks ago, whom I had unfortunately harbored some grievances with.  My first instinct (classic old Chris) was to tell her to fuck off.  My second was to ignore her all together.

I meditated on it for a few days and decided that life was too short to stay angry about anything.  I based nearly thirty years of my life on being angry and holding grudges.  It got me absolutely nowhere.  It made me a miserable, short tempered ill witted person.  I know I am not perfect, but I would like to believe I have come a long way from that guy.  I mean there is the occasional relapse. I am only human after all.  I decided to forgive her.  I don’t know why she did what she did and I don’t need or ask for an explanation. It is not my place to judge the actions of another.  I will gladly call her friend once again.

That was quite a tangent.  You see the insanity that goes through my head all the time.  Let me take minute to talk a bit about this song and Jill Scott.  Jill Scott is one of the more soulful female vocalists I have had the pleasure to listen to.  She sings beautifully, does amazing spoken word and can even throw down a sick free style jam as well.  Cross My Mind has become one of my favorite songs to jam out on my saxophone to.  I will put the tune on repeat and just blow over it for easily twenty minutes.  The groove is sick and the chords are super hip.  A picture is worth a thousands words so I emplore each and every one of you to listen to the track.  How could you not after all this jargon I wrote about a three minute, fifty five second long song?

Jill Scott captivated with the many thoughts that have crossed her mind.

Posted in Groovin' High | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Going Hard

December 10, 2011 by clisanti

This week makes a winner of Kooky Kyle in the UCB with his topic “Going Hard”.  Ok, I sort of fed him this topic, but that is one of the few benefits of living in Lisanti Land and being a member of the court.  Kooky is also living involuntarily stuck in the going hard philosophy that has with out a doubt ran my life since as long as I can remember.  Lisanti Land can be exhausting.  My old boss and good friend Steve chilled here for six weeks this summer and still refers to his time at the the Palace as “Lisanti Boot Camp”.

What the fuck am I talking about you ask?  There is this famous saying “I will sleep when I’m dead”.  I am whole heartily a believer of such.   I hate wasting time.  Life is short.  We never know when that last bell is going to toll.  I still cannot believe I have lived to be this old.  I and most who know me had me pegged to be dead by 25, that came and went and now at thirty I am still going strong and for the most part pushing the envelope harder then I ever have.

Originally for me “going hard” was a term I used to describe my party capabilities.  I would show up at your party or my own, down a fifth of rum and get absolutely wild. The jury was always out on whether or not that was a good thing or not. Poor Kooky has I think experienced more black outs in the last few months living with me then in his entire life.  That is because when we go out we go hard.  The drinks flow all night long, we rock the dance floor, dress fabulous and ultimately leave a somewhat lasting impression, even if it is “I can’t believe they are still letting those two idiots in here”.

Enough about my alcoholism and incessant party.   My life is rather cyclical.  I have been going around in a circle for so long now I lost my bearings and never really know if I have moved backward or forward.   For the most part it works like this and in a way this almost covers a single power of ten topic from Nick the Kook.  I start off wild and out of control and I thrive in that insanity for a while.  Overall it holds me back from accomplishing anything substantial.  I take a few steps in one direction then a few back, so on and so forth.  At times I even accomplish some rather amazing shit, but for whatever reason when push comes to shove and things begin to take off for me I go and blow it.

Then I meet a woman, fall in love with her, give her my all for a while thus the go hard philosophy.  Things go well for a while till the wild Chris starts getting restless and blows it.  Left to his own devices unchecked wild Chris ends up wreaking havoc on both himself and his surroundings.  Then I meet another woman and things just keep repeating.  So I would hope everyone should understand what part of the cycle I am in now.  Wild Chris is back, except he is not so wild anymore, but more just completely devoid of any semblance of reality.     The end goal is to go hard at ending this relentless cycle of pain and self destruction.

Enough about my insanity.  I am sorry for getting into that right now in the middle of explaining what going hard is all about. Listen up cause this is really the only thing I want you to take from this blog.  Whatever I have done in life I gave it my all.  I did not half ass anything.  When I wanted to make a go of things in Music everyone told me I was wasting my time and energy.  Big people in the business told me I was not good enough.  I did not listen.  I went home and practiced every day.  When every one of my top schools rejected me on the basis that I was “too commercial and a loose cannon” I found one that was happy to have me.

That is just one example.  At my current work place the first few months were hell.  Everyone came down super hard on me.  My boss kept telling me I was not going to make the cut.  I put my head down and I worked as hard as I could to learn everything I could from anyone willing to give me a chance.  When I was demoted I wanted to quit but stuck it out no matter how embarrassing.  Now I am back to being a full blown dinner cook and for the most part proving my worth every single day, minus the fact that my Mexican rice still needs help, but even that has gotten better.  WTF I am Italian after all.  Now I am in school to hopefully one day become a chef of some caliber.

Going hard is about being a fighter.  Life is going to kick the fucking shit out of you. That is just the reality of things.  Its not easy out there and if it is then you are doing something wrong.  We should always be challenged.  One of my biggest gripes of our society today is the fact that people get too comfortable in their ways and forget what it means to actually live.  Right now for me just living is a challenge.  Everyday I debate if I should get out of bed.  Despite my mood I get myself up, comb my hair, get myself presentable and “Keep on Keeping On” (want some motivation, read it).  That is all I can ask of myself for the moment.

People tell me I am blowing it, and that I never really cared for Adrienne all that much.  Fuck those people, they don’t how I feel or understand.  All the same I am blowing it.  Yeah my heart is broken, so fucking what.  My mother tried to tell me the other day that no one dies from a broken heart.  I think it is the subsequent pain that kills.  I just found out a friend of mine died over the weekend from drinking too much and his alcoholism came directly from heart ache over a woman.

That is not going to be me.  I will get through this.  I do believe things happen for a reason.  There is only a few weeks left of this putrid year.  2011 was by far the worst and hardest year of my life.  I definitely fell apart and let the cycle continue.  2012 is going to be different.  I am going to put my efforts back into my schooling, back into my work, my reading, my writing, my surfing and my character.  If I can attest anything to this miserable time in my life is that I will never go back to being the vile human trash I once was.  In 2012 I am going to go hard at pulling my life back together.

Alright this has gotten all over the place.  If you go out and give your all to whatever it is you are doing than whether you fail or succeed at least you know you did the best you possibly could.  If you do that then you will have no regrets and die complete.  I still do not have any regrets for anything I have done, even in a time where I have been nothing but introspective.  Be honest with yourself and others and do not let anyone ever tell you no.  Only you can tell yourself no and I hope you never do.  That my friends is what going hard is all about.

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The Bitter End

December 9, 2011 by clisanti

As everyone knows I have been hurting a bit these days.  For a while I was puting all the pain into my novel, but as of late decided to take a step back from that project.  I was finding it hard to get pages finished.  A writer friend of mine told me I should leave it alone for a bit and then come back to it.  About three nights ago I was feeling rather depressed.  It happens to the best of us.  I don’t really know what happen next.  This Stanley Jordan song came up on my ipod’s shuffle and the words started to flow.  I have not written a short story in some time.  Maybe it is a pre-amble to something greater.  All I can say is putting it on paper really helped me to clear my head.  I don’t know if its any good, probably just a string of incoherent garbage.  You can be the judge.  I have not had too much writing on here as of late so I figured I would share something different as an apology for that.  Enjoy.

The Bitter End

 He heard the angry clacking of her heels on the sidewalk. The sound slowly got more faint as she walked off into the distance.  Why did she leave?  Why did he let her?  Why was he not the one to leave her?  Why had his heart just sunk into his chest leaving him feeling weak?  “You have so much potential, but I can’t sit here and watch you destroy yourself any longer.”

Those were the words that stuck with Joe. “I don’t love you anymore, I never really did”.  He did not say a word to that.  To any of it for that matter.  He just sat there and listened.  It was almost as if he was not there, but floating above the whole scene.  All the screaming, arguing and the crying.  He did not even feel the pain or blood slowly trickling down the knuckles of his steadily swelling hand.

No, all he could think about was the fact that he would never see her again, never smell her hair next to him when he woke up in the morning, never experience the warmth of her naked body pressed up against his after being satiated by the heat of the passion they once had for each other.  It was over, really over this time.  Not like all the others when she had walked out and came back a few hours or a day or two later.  He did not know for sure, but was almost certain.

There is this extra sensory that couples develop for one another after a sufficient amount of time passes.  They can just sense the thoughts and emotions of the other.  That is one of the remarkable mysteries of love.  He had pushed her limits too far this time.  Joe knew it.

She had loved him once he thought, even if she said otherwise.  Why is it when two lovers split up they always have to say the most hurtful things.  She had to love him once right?  Why else would she have stayed with him for all those years?  She was there when he was on top of the world and when it all came crashing down.  She nursed him back to health when he was bed ridden with an unknown illness.  She always put his needs first.

She had to have loved him at least once.  Maybe she still did.  He would never know now.  She would not come back.  He knew that.  And he would not go after her.  There he sat paralyzed on the dirty front porch of his apartment, their apartment at one time.  He did not care that the dirt would soil and possibly ruin the designer beige and cream pinstripe suit he had tailored for him.  He did not care about the fact that his hand was broken or the subsequent hole in the wall.

She would not come back.  One tear fell from his right eye.  Just one.  The tin man finally got his heart.  She never really knew how he felt for her.  He was never able to express it.  He thought at times his actions may have shown it.  What did that matter now? Water under the bridge.  She would not come back. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.

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