Posts Tagged ‘Cats’

This week’s UCB makes a victor of John Mauriello with a topic that I was not going to write until my boy JD on his recent visit out here this week also brought up the same subject.  What am I referring to?  “Do you think Alfie is pissed off that he can’t have sex”?  Believe it or not this topic comes up more times then not in my house when we are all sitting around shooting the shit.

If you don’t know who Alfie is by now then you’re either new to this blog or retarded.  So just in case you’re in the dark here at SurfingRuinedMyLife.net let me enlighten you.  Alfie is my all black cat, the remaining feline out of the two black cats I had shipped out here from New Jersey.  Turtle the other cat escaped from my home when I lived up near the Santa Barbara Mission never to return again.  Odds are he is probably living it up eating trash and the like, but I like to believe he got eaten by a coyote.

There were a good number of blogs on the great cat escape back in the Myspace.com days a year ago or so.  If you missed them they are some where in the depths of my myspace.com profile of which I believe there is a link to on the home page of the site you are now on.  It happened around November 2010 if you’re so inclined to go looking.  Good luck.  If you do find it copy and paste the entire blog into the comments of this blog and I will give you Two UCB points for this quarter!!!!!

So Alfie is now my remaining cat and is joined by his new partner in crime Mustafa (see Cat Calamity for more on who Mustafa is), whom consequently is also a eunuch.  Honestly do I think Alfie is pissed off he cant have sex?  My answer has to be absolutely not.  I don’t even think he has the slightest inclination towards sexual desires what so ever.  Alfie was neutered when he was only six weeks old or so.

Technically he never reached sexual maturity thus eliminating any desire to want sex.  Now this was just my belief, but since I was sure there was definitely scientific research on the subject I did a little investigating.   What I found is that 85% of all male cats neutered at a young age do not have sexual desires.  There is a small group that on occasion some of the testicle is left inside the cat and in which case that cat would then still develop sex hormones.  Alfie is not of the latter group.

I don’t believe that he is pissed off that he cannot have sex.  Alfie in my opinion is rather happy and content in the microenvironment I have created for him.  Besides Mustafa being a pain in his ass half of the time these days he has it as good as can be.  He gets three solid yummy cat meals a day, Ades throws him the occasional cat treat and when ever Im carving meat that I am going to cook he gets all of the fatty ends and scrap.  I would say as far as a cat’s life goes his is top notch.

Sex is the last thing on Alfie's mind

Speaking of Eunuchs here is a great clip from Mel Brook’s History of the World Part 1

What most likely became of Turtle 😦

This Lady may have eaten the Coyote afterward though.

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Its been a while since I have written a blog and that is for a few reasons. One will be addressed in this blog.  The rest I will sum up quickly although may be elaborated in a later blog.  First off since I have stepped off the plane from the East Coast back to California we have just been bombarded with tons of swell (check the surflog which is updated everyday for more on that).  Last week Nick the Kook was out here (check out “Nick the Kook Receives a Hay Maker” for a funny story from his Crazy Chris Adventure Tour) and I started back up at work over at the college.  Then lastly I caught a cold after spending nearly an hour drunkenly searching around the streets of Santa Barbara in the cold for a lost Nick the Kook, who consequently made his way home at 6am, but that is a whole different story all together and one that is not mine to tell.

All these factors went into play to create a very exhausted Chris Lisanti.  So much so that I have been too tired even to think let alone compose a blog at the end of the day.  Even this blog is near painful to write.  Dont say I never did anything for you.   On top of these reasons I have also had my life filled with cat misadventures.

When I returned to Santa Barbara awaiting me in my apartment was a new kitten Ade’s was given for Christmas.  He is an odd looking tabby I affectionately call Mustafa after Will Ferrell’s incompetent assassin character in the Austin Power movies.   I dont know why, the name just had a good ring to it.  Ade’s hates the name, but I have become set on it and as far as Im concerned its his name.  Needless to say Alfie was not very happy about the occurrence thus spending the bulk of his time hissing and growling.

Just when I though the two were beginning to get along Alfie contracted some freak cat strep throat, stopped eating, began coughing and was at deaths door by the end of last week.  Concerned for his well being Ade’s ran him to an emergency vet where $700 later claimed they did not know what was wrong with him and would need another $1000 to run further testing.  For 1700 bucks I could go purchase a robotic cat that would have rocket boosters on it, fly and do chores around the house for me.

I could not just let Alfie wither away and die.  I was mentally preparing to take the situation into my own hands “Old Yeller” style when Ade’s found a vet that specialized in cats and was supposedly inexpensive.  Turns out for only $150 I found out that Alfie had gotten a flu like thing that has actually been going around SB for the last few weeks.  Go figure.  For those of you who are wondering Alfie is doing much better and actually ate all of his dinner tonight.  He still hates Mustafa.

Who needs a parrot on his shoulder when he can have a cat? Mustafa and I bonding.

Alfie and Mustafa trying to be civil.

What Alfie's poor health almost came down to....

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