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Posts Tagged ‘Kittens’

This week’s UCB makes a victor of John Mauriello with a topic that I was not going to write until my boy JD on his recent visit out here this week also brought up the same subject.  What am I referring to?  “Do you think Alfie is pissed off that he can’t have sex”?  Believe it or not this topic comes up more times then not in my house when we are all sitting around shooting the shit.

If you don’t know who Alfie is by now then you’re either new to this blog or retarded.  So just in case you’re in the dark here at SurfingRuinedMyLife.net let me enlighten you.  Alfie is my all black cat, the remaining feline out of the two black cats I had shipped out here from New Jersey.  Turtle the other cat escaped from my home when I lived up near the Santa Barbara Mission never to return again.  Odds are he is probably living it up eating trash and the like, but I like to believe he got eaten by a coyote.

There were a good number of blogs on the great cat escape back in the Myspace.com days a year ago or so.  If you missed them they are some where in the depths of my myspace.com profile of which I believe there is a link to on the home page of the site you are now on.  It happened around November 2010 if you’re so inclined to go looking.  Good luck.  If you do find it copy and paste the entire blog into the comments of this blog and I will give you Two UCB points for this quarter!!!!!

So Alfie is now my remaining cat and is joined by his new partner in crime Mustafa (see Cat Calamity for more on who Mustafa is), whom consequently is also a eunuch.  Honestly do I think Alfie is pissed off he cant have sex?  My answer has to be absolutely not.  I don’t even think he has the slightest inclination towards sexual desires what so ever.  Alfie was neutered when he was only six weeks old or so.

Technically he never reached sexual maturity thus eliminating any desire to want sex.  Now this was just my belief, but since I was sure there was definitely scientific research on the subject I did a little investigating.   What I found is that 85% of all male cats neutered at a young age do not have sexual desires.  There is a small group that on occasion some of the testicle is left inside the cat and in which case that cat would then still develop sex hormones.  Alfie is not of the latter group.

I don’t believe that he is pissed off that he cannot have sex.  Alfie in my opinion is rather happy and content in the microenvironment I have created for him.  Besides Mustafa being a pain in his ass half of the time these days he has it as good as can be.  He gets three solid yummy cat meals a day, Ades throws him the occasional cat treat and when ever Im carving meat that I am going to cook he gets all of the fatty ends and scrap.  I would say as far as a cat’s life goes his is top notch.

Sex is the last thing on Alfie's mind

Speaking of Eunuchs here is a great clip from Mel Brook’s History of the World Part 1

What most likely became of Turtle 😦

This Lady may have eaten the Coyote afterward though.

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Fuck grammer!   Im mother fucking over it.  Grammar, just in case you thought I did not know how to spell it right, the misspell was put in to prove my point.   Truthfully its not Grammar as a whole that makes me angry, no.  Its those little lines used to show possession or conjunctions, apostrophes.  Why should I have to put one after the “n” in cant, can’t.  I mean every fucking English speaking person knows what I mean.  Doesnt, oh wait Im sorry “Doesn’t” and while Im at it “I’m” too.  Its (It’s) madness all the extra key strokes it takes to properly use those half penis symbols.   Keeping this blog afloat takes up enough of my time as it is.  If I have to add all those extra key strokes as a result of apostrophes its not going to work.  Its your choice HowsurfingruinedMyLife.net or apostrophes.

But guess what; its not your choice at all because this is Lisanti Land and I dont give a fuck about you.  That being the case there will be no apostrophes here and I may just give up on commas too since I have just about had it with them.  If my lack of use of apostrophes makes your time here not pleasurable then you can just find some other form of entertainment.   May I suggest masturbation. It always entertains me when Im bored and even when Im not.  Sometimes I even go in the bathroom and masturbate after sex, but Im also not fit to live amongst mankind.

 

Its people like this that are the problem. Damn Grammar psychos

Apostrophes are evil the less we use them less havoc they can create.

I think I may be the cause of the deaths of a lot of kittens.

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