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Posts Tagged ‘Aldous Huxley’

Enough said.

Well kiddies out there in Cyber Lisanti Land, (the physical Lisanti Land exists in Santa Barbara California, Cyber Lisanti Land on the other hand is everything that SurfingRuinedMyLife.net encompasses) I thought it would be a good time to bring you up to speed on just what has been going on here.  September has been a rather slow blog month and for that I apologize.  Ok, you got me I really don’t give a fuck at all.

What have I been up to you ask?  Drinking for one thing.  That’s right I’m back on the bottle.  I gave that good citizen God loving crap a try for a few months.  I tried to tell myself I was happy and that if I prayed to Jesus all would be better.  Guess what I’m not happy, well err let me rephrase that.  I am happy.  I mean shit I’m going on five straight days of Rincon and tomorrow will make six See Surf Log.

Happiness is one of those things that just may be a crock of shit only to be enjoyed by those of a lower mental plane.  Intelligent people know too much to just believe in blind happiness.  I would like to quote Aldous Huxley, from his novel Brave New World (yes my Jersey friends its not just a bull shit sell out chain of surf shops).

“Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the over compensations for misery. And of course stability isn’t nearly so spectacular as instability.  And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt.  Happiness is never grand.”

So if being happy means being completely bored out of my skull then no thank you I will take misery.  Besides isn’t it all the adversity, mostly self brought upon, I face in my everyday life that makes surfingruinedmylife.net such a fun place to visit?

You bet your ass it does.  When things are going shitty for me my hits here are always through the roof.  I write a few blogs about how nice and happy everything is and I’m lucky if I get 15 hits.  Misery loves company folks.  We are in this bullshit life together.  Whatever the case I am still going to make the most out of it I possibly can.

I live on that “grand” scale so to speak.  Not to float my own boat (wait I have my own website devoted to doing just that) but that is exactly what my life is: GRAND!  I don’t think I would want it any other way.  I have tried that mellow settled down crap and it just is not me.  I think I am only happy when constantly faced with adversity.  So be it. I suppose that is my plight in this life.  Don’t cry for me Argentina. I’m not sitting here playing the world’s smallest violin.

Back on the God thing for a moment, I have nothing wrong with organized religion and everyone was super nice to me there.  I was bored to tears when I attempted to live like that and truthfully after some long hard cogitation I just could not come up with a decent reason to believe.  I believe in myself and the power I possess with in to make the best decisions in my life for me.  No book written a thousand times over is going to tell me how to live.  If those are your beliefs I do not think any less of you and wish you the best, but I am going back to my agnostic self.  (see “Finding err…God” for more about my recent conversion)

I am not going to sit back and blindly believe that there is some master divine plan out there for me.  I will make my own plan thank you.  Now that I am back on track with my hedonistic egocentrism let me just say the adventures have been numerous.  Some I have told, some I have forgotten, some I did not wish to tell at this time and others are for my own personal vault.

Work started up back at Westmont again.  I was promoted to dinner cook II meaning I get to work with a variety of recipes on a daily recipe and has boosted my erudition of culinary technique through the roof.  I learn more there in one day then I have learned in a semester at school.  I thought with my promotion may have come a raise.  Instead I got twice the responsibility with the same old pay.  Maybe next time around, nonetheless I love my job and next to surfing is the second happiest place I find these days.

School is school.  I am super unmotivated, but I know it is a means to an end.  I have a new goal in life and that is to be able to some day afford life with out a roommate.  I think it is rather feasible.  Upon getting out of school hopefully I can get a decent job running my own kitchen for $20 plus an hour.  I have given up on long term plans.  For now I am just focusing on finishing school and becoming the best damn chef I can.

I have decided that 2011 is going down in the history of Lisanti Land books as the year of WHATEVER!  That’s right, I just don’t give a fuck anymore about anything.  Its been a rather tough year for me and how I am still alive is beyond me.  I definitely acquired a few more wrinkles on my brow from all the pain.  My boy Ryan says all I have went through is good cause it builds character.  I feel like I have enough character.  Shoots, I could fill the backgrounds of like six different characters.

Whatever, I don’t give a fuck.  I have also come to the conclusion that I am an emotional masochist, only happy when I am pining over a member of the opposite sex.  So far I have not gotten that right and at this point most likely never will.  Look for some blogs about this coming soon.  I promise you they will be worth the wait.

Currently there is one woman in my life.  She seems to find great pleasure in the persecution me emotionally every chance she gets.  Every time I tell myself I am finished with her bilge she pulls me back in.  Then again that is why I am crazy.  Insanity: doing the same thing over again and expecting different results.  I love her just the same and will take her prodding as long as necessary to either bring her to me or push her away for good.  Maybe that is what love is all about, wanting to be with someone despite their treatment of you.  I know there is so much good inside her, even if she does not see it of herself.

Between the girl, work, school, surfing, drinking at the Wild Cat and all the other preposterousness that goes on I have not been left with all that much time to write.  2011 is the year of WHATEVER.  I promise in 2012 I will try again at life.  For the next three months please no pity emails, interventions, “Chris we care about you and think you are wasting your potential” messages.  Let me do whatever the fuck I want and if I make it to 2012 I promise to do something constructive in the new year.

This is me turning my back on life for the next three months. It kind of looks like Field of Dreams except I am walking into the vines in stead of corn. That's because I find no pleasure in drinking corn syrup.

Even Alfie is over it.

 

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