Surfing Ruined My Life

This week makes a victor out of Kooky Kyle who proposed I write about my favorite Nick the Kook moment.  Now the problem with this is there are virtually hundreds of them and all are pretty classic.  Too torn between which was my favorite (heck it could be its own monthly segment here) I decided I would just write about the shit show he was last night at the bar.  I would not call it “the best of Nick the Kook” but I got a kick out of it nonetheless.  Nick gets a half point since this blog is a bit at his expense, not that I care, but I like Nick and feel he deserves something for the inspiration.

Before I begin let me spend a few lines to introduce Nick the Kook because he has always been a popular character in this blog but since the move to surfingruinedmylife.net besides winning a few UCBs and the oddball comment he has yet to star in an actual blog.  He is going to make his way out to Santa Barbara for a ten day span starting Jan 5^th so Im sure you will hear a lot more of him.

I first met Nick about 7 years ago when he was like 13 or something.  I had happened to paddle out at Brown Ave in Spring Lake (currently The Pipe) at the time I exclusively surfed Manasquan and Sea Girt very rarely making to Spring Lake and especially Brown Ave where a year prior a meat head surfer kicked my ass on the beach for back paddling him.  Just so my California readers know in a New Jersey line up altercations will most times go to the beach.  That is an entire different blog or sets of blogs altogether.

I happened to paddle out at Brown Ave to surf this shitty left all by myself.  I was out for no longer then twenty minutes when this scrawny kid showed up out of nowhere on a long board was super pumped.  We got to talking and he was interested in my travel and contests.  I guess he loosely knew me by reputation.  After that I did not see him again for over a year.

I took a job managing a small upcoming surf shop in Spring Lake and Nick was part of this cult following of groms who hung out there, most of whom I today have come to call my closest of friends.  Nick is one of those special people in life who are not afraid to throw caution to the wind with very little fore thought, basically my kind of man.  Whether it is getting staples in his head while pulling into double up close outs, lacerating his foot slipping on sea weed or loosing his teeth in a freak drunken piggy back ride accident you can always be sure if some great mishap of pure stupidity occurs Nick the Kook will be at the root of it.

As some of you know I made a long awaited trip back to NJ for the holiday to see my family I have not been in New Jersey for two years and with my family for Christmas in four.  After spending the entire day being intoxicated while visiting my family Nick made me an offer to cruise to the bar with him and spend my evening being intoxicated with friends.  Who would I be to turn down a night out at the bar?

I get there and Nick, Mauriello, Beesley and Bojangles among many others were enjoying a beer.  I soon joined in.  We are all shooting the shit when Nick proclaims that he does not drink heavy anymore while at the same time ordering his third beer.  Keep in mind that Nick was my ride home and let me stress the word “was”.  After that Nick cruised around the bar and I lost track of him for about an hour, most of which time I spent in an attempt to order drinks from the world’s slowest bar tenders.  I finally got my drinks and was making my rounds shaking hands of old friends and acquaintances when Nick turned up completely smashed.

John and I were astounded how he went from relatively sober to stone drunk in under an hour.  “Some people bought me shots” spoken incoherently was his answer.  I wish some people bought me shots I was way to sober for his shenanigans.   Then I spent the night pleasurably following Nick and his antics around the bar.  It was like a game of drunken “Where’s Waldo”, plus he was wearing this bright green shirt allowing him to stand out a little.

Every time I caught eye of the kid he was slouched over, mouth open and droopy eyed.  Then I observed him at the bar looking to get another drink.  My intention was to walk over stop him but then he offer to buy me a drink and my asshole inclinations took over thus I ended up with a beer.  As soon as the kid got his brew he was on the move once again and out of my sight.  Sometimes he popped up groping the occasional girl or sloppily hitting on another.

I had a ball watching the guy.  At one point I searched for him for twenty minutes only to have him pop up out of no where, say some incoherent thing to me and then walk out the door.  I never saw him again that night.  Good thing I always have a back up plan.  People used to always say that I should have my own reality show but I think one of Nick would be far more entertaining.

Nick the Kook in one of his finest moments spring 2010