Posts Tagged ‘Loser’

Hey you guys! The numbers are in!

May 1st officially closed the winter quarter and maybe the weakest one both on my part and on yours.  I had a real lack of interest here folks.  Besides Mauriello and Kooky no one even bothered to submit anything.  Then people wonder why I was unmotivated on the UCB front this past quarter.  Whatever I forgive you.  Besides I was too busy getting drunk and fucking up anyhow.  But we are steadily approaching the start of the “Summer of Alf” which officially kicks off Wednesday May 16th.  That means more blogs that are going to be bigger, better and way more bad ass then ever.  There will be laughter, tears, jeers, rants, raves, yet mostly the usual gibberish we have come to love.

It was a two man race and despite the lack of quantity I must say the UCB’s that got written were of a very decent quality. To be honest that is one of the things I am striving for here as of late anyway, quality not quantity.  Here was how the quarter broke down.

John Mauriello takes the cake or the…”waterpik”?
“Your not giving away our waterpik”

1st Place: Mauriello – 4.5points
2nd Place: Kooky Kyle – 3points

Last Place: Everyone Else 😦

Its on for the spring quarter which will run till June 21st.  Its also an abbreviated one thanks to my winter blunder.  That is two power of ten lists and seven UCBs.  I will write the first UCB by the end of the week and that is worth 1.5points, the rest are worth 1point and the Power of tens are worth 2 points.  If you get suggesting then I will get writing.  My hope is to have one UCB a week.

Lets not have our laziness allow the UCB  to end up like this sloth here. “Wake up little friend, oh who killed my pet”

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I am going to come clean.  I am a craigslist personals reader and even on occasion participant.  I know its gnarly, but it can be rather exciting and definitely entertaining.  Shit, to my chagrin I have yet to be stabbed by a random blind meeting.  I have always wanted to be stabbed.  I feel like it would be pretty bad ass to take a blade to the gut.  Nothing fatal or permanently damaging, but I’m talking clean in and out, no arteries, just a plain deep wound that requires like fifty stitches or so.  How bad ass of a scar and story would that be?  As far as gun shot wounds go I don’t want any part of that.  Too gnarly.  I don’t want doctors fishing around my system for any excess lead.

My favorite part of the Craigslist.com personals is the missed connections section.  Its so interesting the types of things people write in there.  First off the majority of them are these asinine posts that read like this: “hey I saw you on State St riding a cool green bike on Friday at 1 pm.  You were hot, hit me up” or “We had a nice conversation in the super market about your fruit selection but I forgot to get your phone number”.  I really wonder if any of those people ever actual find each other through Craigslist?  If anyone reading this has or knows someone whom that has worked out for please leave a comment for me.  I would love to hear about it.

It would put a smile on my otherwise somber face.  Once some dude wrote this funny ass story about some dude who tried to steal his bike seat on mothers day.  That one was so humorous I almost shit my pants reading it.  Then there are all kinds of other crazy shit.  Bottom line, if you are bored or have too much time on your hands like myself (honestly if you are reading this crap then you most likely have too much time on your hands) I would spend a moment or two reading the missed connections section of your local Craigslist.

I just gave it a perusal came across the following post:http://santabarbara.craigslist.org/mis/2441269370.html

” I’m aware we crossed each others paths recently. I hope all is good in your world. My world is really looking up. I just landed my dream job in the city of Angles. My patience, tolorence and good work ethics are panning out. I never lost hope. Hope can carry a long ways as long as you never give up and keep on putting one foot in front of the other. For me I have a faith that keeps me centered and has always helped me get through some of the toughest times in life. I know you are not a believer and thats ok but really when all else fails where do you go from there? I know there are lots of opinions here on that and that’s cool. Actually some of your opinions have really made me think. But anyhow I won’t bore you with that. I forgive you for the things you said and did towards me. I hope you can do the same. We worked well together most of the time but our diffences are really what ended things. So I miss the person I once knew. I think you let a good catch go although I’m sure you disagree. I do hope the best for you. I wouldn’t try too hard here as instant gratification is usually a temporary fix which can distract people and create a real “missed connection” that only appears for a brief moment then poof it’s gone. Take care my dear and it’s ok to wave from a distance.”

Upon reading it I thought man this guy is pathetic.  Immediately after I thought hmm…is that what I have sounded like the past two months?  I think we all know that I am pathetic anyway.  The problem with being a hopeless romantic is the hopelessness.  I guess my story is not all that unique and I am just another poor sap who lost at the game of love. But hey it could be worse I could be like this guy above and posting random shit on craigslist for attention.  Oh wait I don’t need to because I have my own blog to accomplish that task.

Just because...

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