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How a Christmas of Epic Proportions Led to Absolute Dread

Posted in Life, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , , , , , , , , , on December 27, 2011| 12 Comments »

Merry fucking belated Christmas everyone.  How was your holiday? I actually don’t really care to be honest.  Wow I’m mean, maybe even a slight touch Ebenezer Scrooge in me.  I guess I am still waiting for the ghosts to show up and give the incentive I need to change my life.   In a way that did sort of happen this December 25th except it did not come in the form of apparitions, but instead rounds upon rounds of tequila shots.  Nothing says happy holidays like complete and total inebriation.

We are getting ahead of ourselves at the moment for there is a lot tell.  I do believe you will find it a rather entertaining yet somewhat disturbing read.  Then again that is the case with most of what I post here.  This is going to be a two parter as the amount of insanity and ridiculousness that has gone down in the last 48 hours even blows my mind.  Shit it may run three parts and grab one of the top ten for 2011.

Christmas as most of you know is far from my favorite holiday.  When I was ten I contracted phenomena on Christmas and almost died. My first girlfriend and love dumped me on Christmas Eve when I was 15 years old over the phone.  As a result I ended up cultivating an unnatural disdain for women folk that lasted for nearly a decade and most likely still lingers in my subconscious.  You can sure as fuck bet Adrienne did not help that case either.  I really need to move on.

I read some study on getting over hard break ups and it said the amount of time it takes to heal is about one month for every three you were together.  So I guess I am looking at around eight months.  Yeah! Just two more months to go.  Alright.  Enough of that this story has nothing to do with her other then the fact that it would not have taken place had she still been with me.  I promise I will not mention such again for this series.

When I was 18 I was coming up the stairs to my apartment during my tenure at Berklee in Boston and the strap to my saxophone gig back broke sending my priceless tenor saxophone careening down three flights of steps.  At 19 I was arrested for a certain unpleasantness I would rather not discuss on my blog.  All I will say is be smart and stay on the right side of the law.  It’s not worth it.

At 21 my apartment caught fire as a direct result of faulty wiring on my Christmas tree.  My ex-wife and I lost all of our belongings in the fire and had to move in with my parents for six months while we got back on our feet. When I was twenty three my ex-wife broke her back in three places.  Our Christmas present that year was that after a long road of rehab she would make a full recovery.  At twenty six my ex-wife and I decided to split up during Christmas time.

My string of Christmas bad tidings is ludicrous and the main reason I decided to sit this one out this year.  There is not one Christmas decoration in my home. I just could not handle going home to New Jersey.  Hold on what am I saying.  Home is Santa Barbara California.  The last three years I have been celebrating Christmas with my family whom I love and adore.  This year my head was not there.

I needed some time for myself for a change.  All fall between work and school I have been running myself ragged.  Add the many bouts with heavy depression and even heavier drinking, throw in a heroin addict roommate and you have quite the aperture to over come.  By December I was spent physically, emotionally and mentally.  Just the thought of going home and facing my entire family and the questions of how things were going was too much to bare.

I hate lying and I hate lying to my loved ones more.  If I were to tell them all the truth about things I would just get countless lectures about my poor life choices and how I should cut my losses and move back east.  Not to mention the fact that my cousin just got engaged.  Him and I are the same age and have been pitted against each other by our parents for as long as I can remember.

The two of us don’t compete, but I constantly had to hear about how great my cousin Rich was doing and how much I was blowing it.  I love my cousin and wish him the best in life.  We are different people making a comparison is completely absurd.  My sister is toting around her fiancé as well.  I just could not deal with seeing two happy couples on the verge of spending the rest of their lives together in what I hope will be both harmony and bliss.  Not after all I have been through.

I canceled my plans and decided to hang up in Santa Barbara with Kooky, Ryan and this dude West who decided to come up from San Diego, another recent New Jersey expatriate, to not spend the holiday alone.  Since I am off from work till January sixth I was really looking forward to kicking back, surfing and relaxing.  Just as most happenings in Lisanti Land things got exacerbated rather fast.

So now the stage is set for a tragedy or a comedy or maybe a little bit of both.  Tune in tomorrow to find out exactly how Christmas this year got even a little too gnarly even for me.

Christmas Van

Merry Christmas…I don’t think this guy is allowed to go by elementary schools and hand out candy canes.

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Oh Billy!!?!

Posted in Anger, Life, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2011| 6 Comments »

I promised myself I would write something significant this week.  Then Kooky Kyle forgot to pay the the cable bill and the swines turned off my internet.  After a round about phone conversation with a very nice sounding operator named Mindy I found myself paying way too much money to keep my “high speed” connection going.  Here is a quick play by play on how that conversation went.  Remember while reading this that I AM AN ASSHOLE.

Me: I went to log onto my internet today and surprisingly it said I needed to call customer service.
Mindy: Let me check your account.  As it turns out you owe us $84 USD in unpaid bills.
Me:  Really, that is surprising cause I know I sent a check in last month.
Mindy: Well sir it looks like you only paid $75 of the $89 you owed us and then there was no payment for December so we turned you off.
Me: Well I guess that is one way to get my attention.  So Mindy why do you think I only paid $75. Is it because you think I am stupid and did not know how to read my bill correctly?
Mindy: No sir I am not calling you stupid.  Maybe you just misunderstood.
Me: MISUNDERSTOOD!!! Wait are you calling me a retard who cannot read a bill correctly (this is most likely true).  I feel completely insulted right now.  It is a good thing you caught me on a good day or I might have hung up the phone and proceeded to slit my wrists in my bath tub.  Do you really want my suicide on your head Mindy.
Mindy: Sir, no I did not insinuate you should kill yourself at all.
Me: Thats right you didn’t, I did.  You know I am actually a rather smart man.  It baffles me that you think I am dumb.
Mindy: Ummm, sorry sir, uh. So your internet will be back on anywhere from eight to forty eight hours.
Me: I think I need to talk your superior cause I feel rather slighted here.
Mindy: I will transfer you…..Click

The bitch hung up on me and I was too lazy to call back.  over $100 later I got my internet back.  Hooray for monopolies.  I thought my trust busting friend Roosevelt took care of such bullshit.  I guess not.  That is the problem with these utility companies they can do whatever they want cause they know they got you by the balls.  Just for that I have a bit of fun with their customer service representatives.  I am sure Mindy got a good laugh or cry out of our little conversation together.  I hope she did not decide to slit her wrists.

As I was saying I wanted to write about something significant, but after all that hassle I guess I am just back to writing about “money, hoes and rims again”.  Tell me where that is from and who says it in the comments for 1 extra UCB point!  Actually that is an oxymoron since I have no money, no hoes and my car does not have rims :(.  I guess that means I am just writing absolute gibberish as usual, but you are reading it.

I posted some quality shit in the December ’11 edition of the surflog.  There are five new action packed sessions if you want some thing to read.  This week I am going to write two UCB’s. At the moment I am not married to any topics put down so if you have something I would post it.  The power ten is also still up for grabs.  This month’s winner may come down to the power of ten.  Besides that I have some fun comical stuff to post, a new recipe, and maybe even another short story.  Don’t give up on me yet.  If anything blame Kooky, but then again maybe just blame Adrienne since we here in Lisanti Land have decided that all my problems and those of my friends in the last six months can be tied back to her in some way or another.  I know real adult.  Then again life is all about passing the buck.

Its not my fault. Never!

This guy must be a cable company executive. I bet he has money, hoes and rims.

The cable company is not going to get his guys balls...

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I Blame Bob!

Posted in Anger, Life, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on December 7, 2011| 8 Comments »

I have ranted on this topic more then once in this blog, but here I go again anyway.  I hate automotive repair.  First off I have no idea about anything in the field thus making me susceptible to every sinister guy in the business.  Now I know a thing or two and am someone when on my full game is not to be reckoned with.  I can sell ice to a mother fucking Eskimo.  Shit I sold a surfboard once to a guy who lived in Ohio.  Put me in a situation where I have limited knowledge and I find myself a bit on the ignorant side.  Here is a story how a minor brake job became an adventure, cause in Lisanti Land nothing is ever minor.

I do a ton of driving. If you are serious about surfing in Santa Barbara it is a reality that you are putting at least eighty miles a day on your car, unless of course you enjoy surfing crap at Lead Better.  As a result I need to keep my whip in the best working order possible.  When my brakes started squeaking this past Saturday I knew it was time to get it looked at.  My roommate Ryan knew a guy who he claimed to be cheap and good.  I like cheap and good is even better. Throw in a free cup of coffee and box of ring dings and I would marry that guy.

I go over to Bob’s make shift little garage over on Milpas St.  at 11am on Monday.  I asked him how long he though and he said two hours.  No worries. I cruised home, studied for my baking final, took my baking final.  Got home around 4pm and still no word from good old Bob.  I call him up and here is what I got “well uh?  yeah the civic. ummmmm?????, funny story. We ended up getting the wrong size brake pads.  They are about 2mm too big.  Man thought we were going to nail it too”.  Astounded I was about to lose my cool, but I was standing on the bluff above Lead Better watching the sun set, just taking in the beauty of the world around me.

I was calm.  I took a deep breath and remembered that I am not in New Jersey, but in California where the concept of time  and responsibility is well, a bit less understood.  “Bob” I reply “I must say I am a bit disappointed in you and your operation. I needed my car back in the morning and now I do not have one.”  Bob said “yeah that is unfortunate, its a real bummer we got the wrong part”.   I took another long breath, got a grip of my emotions and said “Yep Bob it is really unfortunate and a real bummer.  I guess I will see you tomorrow then.”  “I promise Chris it will be done first thing in the morning”.  “What time do you think that will be around Bob?” I asked.  “10:00am”.

I hung up and threw one of my standard tantrums.  ‘Fuck you Bob you stupid mother fucking moron.  Its a real bummer indeed, for me. Fuck, Stupid ass Californian.  Breaks should take less then two hours, I know worked at a fucking gas station for two years.   C’mon Bob, C’mon man’.  I thought about going there and kicking his ass, but that would just mean I would have to fix my own breaks.  If I had that skill I would not have needed Bob in the first place.  I was frustrated to say the least.

My phone rang again and it was Bob.  Excited that maybe he figured something out I picked up.  “Hey Chris I just thought of something.  I have a buddy who drives a cab and he can hook it up if you need a ride”.  What?  Hook it up? What does that mean exactly.  That was Bob’s ingenious solutions???  I thanked him for the very kind offer and hung up.

My only saving grace was the bag of Nachos I had in my hand that I made at work on Friday.  Some how they still were not soggy.  It was classic. Ryan and I were standing there looking rather homeless eating chips out of a grease stained brown paper bag we kept passing back and forth.  Anyone walking by just figured we were two bums sharing a 40oz.  Yep nothing but big things for me in life folks.  Then I thought about hanging myself, but as usual I could not find any rope long enough or strong enough.  Since Bob had my car it was not like I could go to the store and procure some.  Another suicide attempt foiled in the planning stage by pure laziness oh and of course BOB!!!!

Still alive, who should come walking down the gnarl trail from Oceano?  None less then Kooky Kyle all dressed up like a real estate agent or something.  He grabbed the bag of chips for a hand full as well.  As it turns out he needed a ride to some hotel on the water front to apply for a bell boy job.  That kid is a go getter.  Ryan lent Kooky his truck parked in the car port.  Now Kooky not used to driving a large truck, not to mention the fact that my car port is the worst designed thing I have ever seen in my life, ended up catching the side of the truck on the side of the building thus knocking off Ryan’s side view mirror.

Another calamity caused by the incompetence of Bob.  Now Kooky has to get Ryan’s truck fixed.  Santa Barbara is like prison, you go in for a minor sentence and get stuck for twenty years cause you killed a guy in fight to save your own skin.  I had been invited to a pot luck dinner party that night.  Usually I do my own meals at the Lisanti Palace, but I thought a change of scenery might be nice and Lindsay said there would be some girls there.  I am trying to force myself to try and date a little bit.  I feel like it is the only way I am ever going to move on.  I cooked up Fettuccine Florentine.  Fettuccine Rigate, mixed with a creamy Alfredo sauce, sauteed spinach, summer squash, zuchini and portobello mushrooms.  I topped the whole thing off with chopped heirloom tomatoes.   It was quite the dish if I do say so myself.

Then I was faced with the dilemma of how to get there.  I was banking on getting a ride from Ryan.  When I went to get him dude was cutting z’s in his bed.  I was not about to wake the guy and after the Kooky incident not about to take the truck either.  Kooky and I decided to hoof it with the hopes of hitching.  At this point I am walking up Cliff Dr. towards Albertson’s with a roasting pan full of pasta and two oven mits on my hands.  Kooky was behind me with his thumb out and a bottle of Syrah.  Lucky for us we got picked up only about 1/4 of the way up.

They were nice enough to drop right in front of the house we wanted to go to.  I with my weak ass sense of direction had us walk the wrong way up the street, before realizing we were right in front of the place.  The dinner party was a mix of angry east coasters, hipsters and hippies.  Sounds like there could have been a fight.  Good thing everyone was happily liquored up.  I had a great time eventually stumbling home at midnight.  Thanks Bob for all the extra exercise!

Next morning I woke up and headed over to my good friend Bob’s to collect my car.  I got there just before ten only to see my car still on blocks and no work done.  I asked Bob how long he thought and he replied “two hours”.  Two hours from when Bob!?!  I decided to walk down to Winchells this dank doughnut place for some breakfast.  Its funny but comparatively walking down Milpas in conjunction to Sate St it is like a whole different country.  There are all these janky little Mexican shops.  Some tweaker bald black lady yelled some profanity at me.  There were gang bangers, day laborers, homeless and degenerates every where.  The restaurants are a little bit more sketchy. I really thought today might have been the day I was going to get that stabbing I have patiently been hoping for.

I got to Winchells and enjoyed a bagel breakfast sandwich, doughnut and cup of tea while reading some of the more obscure short stories of Hemingway.  You think I am negative pick up some of that guys works.  I finally understand his pain.  He carried the pain of a woman for the rest of his life.  That is what real love is maybe, not being able to move on.  I can respect that in a man.  As for myself I think I am finally paying for my misdoings in life.  If that is the case then I really do understand why now.

I cruised back to Bob’s around noon (once again not getting stabbed or even challenged) and my car is still on blocks.  By this point I was over it and just sat down on a pile of old tires and read more.  Finally at 1pm my car was done.  I got Bob to kick down the price by $50 bucks for my inconvenience.  That is how a two hour break job ends up taking 26 hours and all the events that ensued as a result.  For now on I am just going to blame all my problems on Bob!  Bob Ruined MY LIFE.

Here is an alternate form of transportation Bob could have suggested.

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Things That Are Insane…

Posted in Anger, Deep Thoughts, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 4, 2011| 4 Comments »

If you have not noticed the amount of blogs featured here on SurfingRuinedMyLife.net have become a bit limited, sort of like a fine vintage of a great bottle of Bordeaux.  Ok its not really like that at all.  Things have been a bit busy and my mood and spirits shift up and down like a crazy carnival roller coaster.  “Better to have loved and lost then not loved at all” I find myself in a constant struggle whether to agree or disagree with such.  I know I need to handle my shit and I think things are getting better.  I had a tough go a few weeks ago thanks to a certain circumstance that I am not really ready to discuss here.

I need more time to stew on it, come to terms with the results a bit.  Check out the November Surflog, 11/19 for a little on what happened there.   All I will say is that I am still in a state of constant amazement of the world around me, but more so on the way things have panned out for me at the moment.  I guess it could be worse.  I could be a heroine addict  and then not only be unhappy but also slowly killing myself with a filthy drug addiction.  Believe me after being through two heroine addict roommates back to back in the last four months It makes me feel a bit better about being a drunk.  As they say in Casablanca:

Nazi Guy: Nationality?
Rick: Drunkard
French Inspector: That would make Monsieur Nick a citizen of the world.

I think a great number of people out there drink in excess, but are afraid to admit it to themselves.  The first step is always admittance after all.  Then the next step is deciding if it is a problem or not.  I am still in the midst of the second step.  One thing for sure I will never give up my vin.  What the fuck is all this random ranting about? Well I think it is time to fill everyone in on what has been going down in Lisanti Land the last few weeks.  I am going to try something new this time and I hope it is entertaining.

“And with Daren’s Help We got that Chicken”

Me and Penny, the coolest Chicken in the world!

 There was this episode of Seinfeld entitled “The Voice” and it ran in the 9th and final season of the show.  Kramer gets this business intern fraudulently from NYU and then loses him when the school realizes “Kramerica Industries was no more then a man, and an apartment that may or may not contain a chicken”. Kooky now following in my footsteps working as a stock boy at Mesa Produce, the same place I got my start here in SB (look at me now kids, still partying at the Wild Cat whooot! The more things change the more they stay the same.  I came out here to get over a woman, only to meet another and then have her leave me right back where I started) happened to come across the opportunity to get a free chicken.

How could I say no to that.  The plan was since the chicken was useless, too old to lay eggs I thought it would be a grand idea to use her in a Recipe D’Jour feature called how to make a Chicken from Scratch similiar to the  “How to make a Pumpkin Pie from Scratch” feature only a bit more deranged and disturbing.  Then again it has been a year since that blog was written and that is exactly what Lisanti Land has become these days.  I was all ready to take my meat cleaver to her head.  Then one morning after a tough night out I was sitting in my backyard in an attempt to find inner peace and wisdom within the confines of my serenity garden.  Who jumps into my lap but the Chicken.  I was petting her and she was clucking and all seemed alright.

I promised her she would not die by my hands.  Unfortunately chickens are really messy animals and shit all over the place.  You know that expression where people say this sucks worse then chicken shit.  Let me tell you that chicken shit sucks pretty bad.  I built this ghetto rigged coup out of some chicken wire I found in the trash a while back and some broken picture frame I found for Ade’s to use as an art project once upon a time.  It was rather makeshift but did the job.  Well about two days ago Penny found her way out of the pen and has not been heard from since.  Ryan and I think the Mexican gardener who always comes into my garden and fucks up my plants stole her.  Kooky thinks she got eaten by one of the many predatory creatures that would love to make a meal out of a poor defenseless chicken.  In my fantasy land I like to think that she now lives safely and happily with in the confines of the thickly vined in area behind my building eating bugs and living the high life, whatever that maybe for a chicken.

“But What if it works”

There are good ideas, there are bad ideas and then there are the ideas you have when you are walking home from the bar at 2am drunk as shit.  There we found ourselves Kooky and I about a block from The Kitty on Ortega street staring into a fifty inch projection television set.  “Its does not work” I said.  “But what if it does” Kooky replied.  Next thing I know I am carrying a giant TV across town at 2am.  It was not that heavy just awkward as hell to hold.  We had to make occasional pit stops but only in spots where we could put the thing down on a surface just high enough that the TV could be propped up with out any extra lifting.   We passed some black guy near the Castillo 7-11 and he said “I have seen some stupid ideas in my day but this just may take the cake”.

We passed a cop car, campus security and countless others.  No one stopped us, tried to rob us and we did not get arrested.  Only in California.  In New Jersey we would not have made it one block with that thing.  We made it three miles.  An hour later we got home exhausted only to find out the next morning that it did not work.  Awesome.  We decided to pay it forward and put it outside the building with a sign that read “Free it works :)”.  Don’t ever forget who the king of the assholes is.

Those are the faces of champions...or idiots...you make the call.

Surfing

I needed a woman in my life. “I’m not all bad, but was just drawn that way”

Read the surflog. All my surfing escapades and everything in between winds up there these days.  I do up date it every day.  I did get a new J7 Surfboard. I went a little more robust in the tail this time around.  So far it is going really well for me, although I have only gotten three session on it and have yet to cut its teeth at Rincon.  Time will tell.  Kooky did some dank ass art work on it as well.  Jason is on it these days and you really cant go wrong with a surfboard from him.

School
School has been a pain in the ass as always.  In my baking class I managed to be the only one in my class to pull off a flawless dessert and bread.  Still I was only bestowed a 91 because as my professor put it I did not challenge myself with the dessert.  I made a chocolate almond biscotti.  Besides I had never baked a loaf of bread before and I missed both bread classes thus handicapping myself a bit rather then not challenging myself.  I wanted to do a dry run on the bread at home, but ended up drinking instead.  I went in cold, book in hand and winged it.  Somehow I managed to bake two bad ass loaves if Italian bread.  Now maybe it is my heritage or that the man in the sky decided to cut me a break for a change. Either way I was rather proud of my bread.

How do you like them apples...errr, bread?

In my pantry class It was a group final where we had to produce a grilled chicken salad, eggs Florentine,  Rice Pilaf and a  grilled sandwich.  I did all the cooking, all the knife cuts and the final plating yet somehow was hit with a 5 out of 10 for execution because I mixed my mirepoix together prior to cooking for the pilaf and he was pissed that I missed the last two classes in a row.  Fuck, I cook for a living and most of the class was rather rudimentary for me.  I failed work study cause I did not bother to hand in any of the work and catering cause I did not do any of the work .  Last semester I pulled a 4.0 this semester it is shaping out to be a bit lower then that.  Hey if your not going to be first you might as well be last eh? Here are some shitty quality pictures of the project I took on my cell phone.

The Rice Pilaf severed in a roasted eggplant bowl.

Grilled Chicken Salad molded into primary shapes

The Trifector

So there you have it in a nut shell what has been going down in The Land of Lisanti.  Hope you found a laugh or two from my gnarl.

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What It All Amounted To

Posted in News From Lisanti Land, tagged , , , , , , , , , on November 12, 2011| 1 Comment »

The Five Day Lurk

I am still alive at least so I suppose that is a feat I should  be thankful for or should I?  If you remember back a few blogs ago to the  Five Day Halloween Party blog Kooky and I were all set for a five day lurk.  Well we made three nights of it before I ended up getting nearly deathly ill, did not leave my bed for two days and did not surf for five.  I am not talking sick from drinking unless this is the beginnings of cirrhosis.  I guess time will tell.  I can’t remember the last time I was that bad off.  I still have a lingering cough. I almost went to the medical clinic.  Luckily my immune system is still a champ and won the battle.

For the remaining nights of Halloween nothing too eventful happened. Kooky did manage a great rendition of Prince that had all the gays at the Kitty jumping out of their seats.  I did a decent portrayal of a Blues Brother.  One night we both went out as Guidos.  It was fun although I am a little disappointed that we could not make the entire lurk.   Good times.

Chefing It Up

On the work front things are going well.  Sodexo opened a new Mexican station in the dinning commons.  I was put in charge of dinner there Wednesday through Friday nights.  At first it was pretty hectic and I got a bit frustrated.  I even considered quitting.  Now I have it somewhat wired.  It is still a ton of work but at least I am learning Mexican cuisine.   With five Mexican cooks on payroll I do not really understand why they put the white Italian cook in charge of the station, but so be it.  I find myself just seasoning everything with onion, cumin, chili powder, cayenne, oregano, lime and lemon juice.  I guess every genre of cooking has its stereo typical spices.  I am beginning to learn mole and different types of salsa reductions.  At the very least its one more thing to add to the resume.

The Joy of Adult Education

The school front on the other hand has not been going so well.  I missed a few classes and had to beg my teachers not to fail me straight out.  I am failing catering cause I have no time to put in the required 26 hours of unpaid labor for the semester and ironically I am failing w0rk study cause I don’t have time to hand in the homework.  I hate school its such a backward institution.  Especially City Colleges where anyone can attend.  The students on the whole are unmotivated and dumb, as a result the teachers water down the curriculum and lose their vigor in the process.

Truth be told I am not all that motivated myself.  I work five days a week busting my ass in the kitchen only to spend my only two days off sitting in a class with a bunch of want to be top chefs.  Those who can cook like myself have these ridiculous egos and even challenge the professors.  That makes up half the class.  The other half are completely clueless, have never stepped foot in a professional kitchen before in their lives and most days are more of a danger to themselves and others with their terrible technique.  Let me say this not everyone was cut out for this business.  The ego maniacs walk around the room just waiting for someone to mess up so that they can rub that person’s nose in it.  The whole thing is insanity.

My Pain

As of this moment I am considering taking next semester off to clear my head and take a better stock in my life.  I have been struggling with heavy depression ever since Adrienne left back in June.  I tried to fill the hurt with a stupid affair that ended with me just getting more hurt.  I don’t know why Ades has been such a pain to me.  I mean when I was with her I was always a bit indifferent to her.  Picking up the pieces of both my heart and my life has become tough and I find myself really afraid that I am turning into other guys I know who were in a similar situation as myself.  One case in particular the dude is a great guy who still has not been able to move on and the hurt is killing him.

I believe I am stronger then that.  I guess only time will tell.  My drinking is definitely gotten excessive, but for the moment I need it.  Alcohol is the only way I can cope with the pain at the moment.  Maybe it was the way things ended that messed me up so bad.  That fact that the one human being I met that seemed better then most when it came to morals and inner strength went and did an act so against everything she stood for that it turned her into a living oxymoron.  I hate fallacies.  One thing I can say about myself and I will always take pride in is that I am a straight shooter and am not a bullshit person.

I call it like I see it.  I don’t make excuses for my conduct and have always been honest about it.  I know I am an asshole and boarder line degenerate, well maybe more of a wolf in sheep’s clothing?  I have always broadcast such.   In the end I know I am going to pull it together.  I always do, but right now I am still most days rather sad, the rest of the days are spent either dead inside or the occasional really happy one.  Classic manic depression.  My mother told me I should make a list of what I think would make me happy and then figure out how I should go about accomplishing such.

Usually her advice just pisses me off, but this makes a lot of sense and is one I am indubitably going to implement.  I need to figure out something to dig myself out of the hole Adrienne left me in.  Enough of this endless pity party.  How tired is everyone of hearing about me cry about Ades?  I know I am.  I think this is the last time I am going to write about such.  I know I always say that.  Sorry in advance when I have another relapse.

The beautification of the Lisanti Palace

I woke up about two weeks ago all hung over from the night before and looked around at the dump of an apartment I live in.  At that moment I realized what a cesspool I have been living in.  No wonder my last two roommates turned out to be heroine addicts.  You would have to be on drugs to consciously pay money to live in this shit hole.  I have had some money saved for my one day New Zealand escape.  These days that dream seems to be getting farther and farther away.  I have decided to take a chunk of that money and put it into renovating my apartment.

I am buying new furniture, putting tile down in the kitchen, hardwood flooring in the dinning room and living room, gutting the entire bathroom.  I am going to turn the palace into a sick bachelor pad.  A place a man can come home to and be proud of.  I think if I nice up my surroundings it might help with my depression a bit.  The process has already begun Ryan, Kooky and I went to Home Depot and bought paint and spackle to give the walls a new coat.   I may post updates here form time to time with before and after pictures.

I think that is it for now.  I just thought I would fill everyone in on whats been going on in my life and that I have not given up completely.  I promise I will turn things around.  I am really beginning to feel like my life is on the verge of turning the corner.  I can just sense good things about to happen….

I saw this on my way home from surfing the other day and it got me thinking deep.

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Its a Five Day Halloween Party!

Posted in Life, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 28, 2011| 1 Comment »

When I was a kid Halloween was all about candy and costumes.  Then I became a teenager and it was all about mindless vandalism (for whatever reason it seems to be the one night a year where its ok to break shit).  Then I became an adult…well I use that term in the looses sense of the word.  More in terms as I am physically a full grown human.  Mentally I am anywhere between that of a bratty ten year old and a 15 year old.  I guess most males fit into that category.

Being older Halloween takes on its scariest of entities: Grown people in costumes getting completely shit faced.  Women put on the skimpiest little outfits or a tiny cocktail dress and some type of animal ears.  I am not complaining its all in good fun.  I have spent plenty of Halloweens in my adulthood being that sloppy guy in a cheap ass $15 plastic Kmart costume.  As a matter of fact I was that guy last night.

This year Halloween falls on a mother fucking Monday which means its a five night party and five different costumes. Over the next five days I will chronicle exactly what takes place on this lurk, well what I can remember from it of course.  Lets start with last night shall we?

Night One, College Costume Night at the Wild Cat

Kooky and I rolled out, him dressed as a red crayon and myself as Casanova, which was interpreted as either a vampire or a pirate.  I did not give a fuck.  I just wanted to an excuse to wear a cape. I liked it and it may become a regular thing for me.  Everyone thought Kooky was an orange crayon even though it clearly said the word “red” on the front of his costume.  On the way down some chicks yelled out the window “Dude your a fucking Cone, Whoooo, go cone!”.  That in itself set the tone for the evening.

Down town was packed as usual.  Halloween is sort of a big deal in this town.  Shit what excuse to get drunk and make a fool of yourself is not in Santa Barbara?  We had to wait on line for about thirty minutes, not bad considering.  There were these two basics in front of us who in my opinion looked no older then 16, but then again I am a bit older now and young looking twenty one year olds do look very callow to me at times. Lucky for us they bailed to go back to IV (no surprise there) allowing us to make the next twenty people in cut off.

Inside the usual Wild Cat insanity ensued.  I got piss drunk thanks to my bar hook up, did a bit of dancing and a bit of socializing.  We were hanging outside on the patio when this very attractive women came up to us.  I figured she was selling something.  There is no way a smoking hot chick is going to walk up to a guy dressed like a crayon and a pirate/Dracula looking guy other wise.  She asked me what I was drinking and I replied “Bacardi, what else”.  Turns out she was a promo Bacardi girl and impressed by the fact I was drinking a tall (little did she know it was more like half a bottle poured into a glass with a little coke for color) and hooked Kooky and I up with free Bacardi T-shirts.   Its about time those guys give me something back for all those handles I have consumed over the years.

It was a good evening but by one we found ourselves over it and decided to do the drunken stumble home.  about at the half way point we ran into this guy dressed as a Rastafarian across the street from us.  He looked at us and yelled “hey I’m not a Rasta, but a Mexican.  You guys want a bowl hit”.  Thinking I was going to get a smoke we walked over.  The dude pulls out a handful of weed and puts it in Kooky’s hand.  Then cruises on.  We got easily two eighths worth.  Then we ran into a Kiwi working the night clean up shift on SBCC’s campus and hooked him up with a fatty nug as well.  Got to share the wealth after all.  Upon getting home we packed it into an apple and smoked that shit.  All and all I would say it was a rather fun first night.

Halloween is always Alfie's favorite holiday.

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No More Womerns

Posted in Life, Music, News From Lisanti Land, tagged , , , , , on October 10, 2011| 6 Comments »

Let the good times roll....

Wow!  What a bull shit stupid blog I posted last night.  I hope no one thinks any less of me.  All I have to say for myself is that I drank an entire bottle of Chianti from 8pm-11pm last night thanks to the goading of my roommates whom were many beers deep.  Surprisingly I think I could have put down another bottle cause after finishing that one I think I could have operated heavy machinery if I needed to.  I could have definitely drove if not for those pesky police and their DUI bullshit.  .8? What the fuck is that.  I could blow a .8 the next morning.

The legal alcohol limit should be a kind a suggestion.  Whatever, I don’t make the laws…yet.  Lisanti for President 2014.  And this is not a blog about my alcohol problem or drunk driving.  This is more of a proclamation of sorts. Now this is for me not you, so please no more hate mail.  Yes I know I suck at life.  I do not need any reinforcements in negative comments.  If you want to call me a jack ass that is ok.

I decided when I woke up Sunday morning that I was going to take back my life.  I know we have these type of blogs every few months and then I just end up going down the drain all over again.  Such is life.  I was watching Rocky Balboa last  night, you know the very last one in the series, and he got on this tangent of Rocky wisdom, which by the way is uncanny how profound it is in a very imbecilic way.  He said something about how “In life its not how hard you can hit, but how hard you can take it, every time life keeps beating you down, you have to get back up and keep on fighting.  No matter how hard you get hit you just have to keep on moving on”.

That got me to thinking about my own life.  I have been being beaten on for thirty years and have still remained strong through out.  Some see it as arrogance, but I have always seen it as perseverance.   Sure I come off negative most of the time, but that is because I am real.  I don’t sit around and bullshit myself.  I set a goal and I go for it.  I do not just say oh “good things are going to happen for me”.  I go out and take it.  No one is handing out free rides in life.  You have to go out and get it.

With that in mind I need to fill you in on my week last week.  I had to see Adrienne unfortunately.  She wanted to get off the lease of my apartment.  It sounds like something that should not be a big deal, yet with my rental company taking people off the lease always turns out to be a horror story.  I guess it serves me right for ever believing her worthwhile enough to trust to be on my lease.  See what happens when you trust someone fully.   She had been hitting me up through email, the most chicken shit way to do anything. It is not like I don’t work right across the campus from her or anything?

I made the move.  I took the five hundred yard walk over to the bookstore to talk to her about the situation and come up with some type of reconciliation on the issue.  Believe me it was one of the hardest five hundred yards I ever had to walk.  I was filled with mixed emotions of anger, sadness and anxiety.  I did not have any clue how I would react to seeing her.

Anyhow upon our discussion I realized that I am still not over her and immediately after went into a serious five day bout of depression involving tons of drinking by myself.  I did not even go out to the Kitty.  Worst thing was I think if she had apologized and asked if wanted to come back I probably would have.  Fucking pathetic right.  She had these stupid boots on she wore to Ireland that completely clashed with the tired black skirt and bluish floral camo top she wore at least once a week.  I am not saying she did not look nice, Imean she still captivated me, but if I did not have to wear a uniform to work I would completely flash the wardrobe.  Those boots though just don’t ever make sense outside of a hurricane. I know she has some nice shoes.

Enough about her outfit.  All that brief interview led me to understand is that I am still broken inside and have been trying to fill that hole with other women who were horribly fit for me.  Then I decided that I need a break from women in general for a while.  My life is a fucking mess and I need to clean it up myself for a change.  I always look for a female counter part and use her good sense and stability to influence me to clean my act up.  So far the effects of that method have been nothing but adverse.

I need to pull my head out of my ass and take control of MY LIFE.  If I get my shit together maybe I will find happiness and stability.  At that point then and only then can I truly have something to offer another person when I ask her to share my life with me.  Cause I actually will have a life instead of this sub normal fantasy land I live in.  Till then it is going to be all about frivolous good times with my female companions and nothing more.  For the moment I may not look so good on paper, but its only a matter of time before I do.

In the mean time I am going to follow this guys advice:

In the long run this is the advice that counts

 

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The State of Lisanti Land Address

Posted in Deep Thoughts, Life, News From Lisanti Land, Surfing, tagged , , , , , on September 27, 2011| 7 Comments »

Enough said.

Well kiddies out there in Cyber Lisanti Land, (the physical Lisanti Land exists in Santa Barbara California, Cyber Lisanti Land on the other hand is everything that SurfingRuinedMyLife.net encompasses) I thought it would be a good time to bring you up to speed on just what has been going on here.  September has been a rather slow blog month and for that I apologize.  Ok, you got me I really don’t give a fuck at all.

What have I been up to you ask?  Drinking for one thing.  That’s right I’m back on the bottle.  I gave that good citizen God loving crap a try for a few months.  I tried to tell myself I was happy and that if I prayed to Jesus all would be better.  Guess what I’m not happy, well err let me rephrase that.  I am happy.  I mean shit I’m going on five straight days of Rincon and tomorrow will make six See Surf Log.

Happiness is one of those things that just may be a crock of shit only to be enjoyed by those of a lower mental plane.  Intelligent people know too much to just believe in blind happiness.  I would like to quote Aldous Huxley, from his novel Brave New World (yes my Jersey friends its not just a bull shit sell out chain of surf shops).

“Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the over compensations for misery. And of course stability isn’t nearly so spectacular as instability.  And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt.  Happiness is never grand.”

So if being happy means being completely bored out of my skull then no thank you I will take misery.  Besides isn’t it all the adversity, mostly self brought upon, I face in my everyday life that makes surfingruinedmylife.net such a fun place to visit?

You bet your ass it does.  When things are going shitty for me my hits here are always through the roof.  I write a few blogs about how nice and happy everything is and I’m lucky if I get 15 hits.  Misery loves company folks.  We are in this bullshit life together.  Whatever the case I am still going to make the most out of it I possibly can.

I live on that “grand” scale so to speak.  Not to float my own boat (wait I have my own website devoted to doing just that) but that is exactly what my life is: GRAND!  I don’t think I would want it any other way.  I have tried that mellow settled down crap and it just is not me.  I think I am only happy when constantly faced with adversity.  So be it. I suppose that is my plight in this life.  Don’t cry for me Argentina. I’m not sitting here playing the world’s smallest violin.

Back on the God thing for a moment, I have nothing wrong with organized religion and everyone was super nice to me there.  I was bored to tears when I attempted to live like that and truthfully after some long hard cogitation I just could not come up with a decent reason to believe.  I believe in myself and the power I possess with in to make the best decisions in my life for me.  No book written a thousand times over is going to tell me how to live.  If those are your beliefs I do not think any less of you and wish you the best, but I am going back to my agnostic self.  (see “Finding err…God” for more about my recent conversion)

I am not going to sit back and blindly believe that there is some master divine plan out there for me.  I will make my own plan thank you.  Now that I am back on track with my hedonistic egocentrism let me just say the adventures have been numerous.  Some I have told, some I have forgotten, some I did not wish to tell at this time and others are for my own personal vault.

Work started up back at Westmont again.  I was promoted to dinner cook II meaning I get to work with a variety of recipes on a daily recipe and has boosted my erudition of culinary technique through the roof.  I learn more there in one day then I have learned in a semester at school.  I thought with my promotion may have come a raise.  Instead I got twice the responsibility with the same old pay.  Maybe next time around, nonetheless I love my job and next to surfing is the second happiest place I find these days.

School is school.  I am super unmotivated, but I know it is a means to an end.  I have a new goal in life and that is to be able to some day afford life with out a roommate.  I think it is rather feasible.  Upon getting out of school hopefully I can get a decent job running my own kitchen for $20 plus an hour.  I have given up on long term plans.  For now I am just focusing on finishing school and becoming the best damn chef I can.

I have decided that 2011 is going down in the history of Lisanti Land books as the year of WHATEVER!  That’s right, I just don’t give a fuck anymore about anything.  Its been a rather tough year for me and how I am still alive is beyond me.  I definitely acquired a few more wrinkles on my brow from all the pain.  My boy Ryan says all I have went through is good cause it builds character.  I feel like I have enough character.  Shoots, I could fill the backgrounds of like six different characters.

Whatever, I don’t give a fuck.  I have also come to the conclusion that I am an emotional masochist, only happy when I am pining over a member of the opposite sex.  So far I have not gotten that right and at this point most likely never will.  Look for some blogs about this coming soon.  I promise you they will be worth the wait.

Currently there is one woman in my life.  She seems to find great pleasure in the persecution me emotionally every chance she gets.  Every time I tell myself I am finished with her bilge she pulls me back in.  Then again that is why I am crazy.  Insanity: doing the same thing over again and expecting different results.  I love her just the same and will take her prodding as long as necessary to either bring her to me or push her away for good.  Maybe that is what love is all about, wanting to be with someone despite their treatment of you.  I know there is so much good inside her, even if she does not see it of herself.

Between the girl, work, school, surfing, drinking at the Wild Cat and all the other preposterousness that goes on I have not been left with all that much time to write.  2011 is the year of WHATEVER.  I promise in 2012 I will try again at life.  For the next three months please no pity emails, interventions, “Chris we care about you and think you are wasting your potential” messages.  Let me do whatever the fuck I want and if I make it to 2012 I promise to do something constructive in the new year.

This is me turning my back on life for the next three months. It kind of looks like Field of Dreams except I am walking into the vines in stead of corn. That's because I find no pleasure in drinking corn syrup.

Even Alfie is over it.

 

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Back in the Saddle: July Surfing

Posted in News From Lisanti Land, Surfing, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 31, 2011| 1 Comment »

Despite one of the worst summers of surfing in recent California history I still managed to bring my surfing back up to speed considering the crapper it took back in June (see blog: Oh That Summertime for more details).  In July I was determined to fall back in love with surfing again.  I found myself for the most part done with my whiny ass self pity and back to my roots: SURFING!!!  I had a few surfing adventures including a trip up north to Surf Beach (see blog: Return to Surf Beach for that story).  I battled the absurd crowds for a few days in Orange County surfing Lower Trestles (see blog: Orange County Can Keep Lowers for that story) and I experienced the adventure of the summer, maybe the year, sailing out with a buddy of mine to the Channel Islands (See blogs: A Sea Going Voyage, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 for that epic tale).

All I can say is that the surf gods gave me lemons and I not only made lemonade, but lemon meringue pie too.  Below are the stats and stand out sessions from July.  Oh, did I mention Rincon broke legit a few times as well?

Number of Session: 23
Days Surfed: 19
Time Spent in the Water: 44 hours
Number of Waves surfed: 634
Waves Surfed Per Hour: 14

 Spots Surfed:

New Jetty: 5
Emma Wood: 4
Rincon: 3
Lower Trestles: 3
Fruit Stands: 2
River Mouth: 2
Mesa Lane: 2
Surf Beach: 1
Channel Islands: 1

Top 3 Sessions:

3. 7/10/11 PM Session: 2-4+ft, Fruit Stands
Time in Water: 1.5 hrs
Waves Surfed: 33
Fruits stands is sort of a secret spot on the Oxnard/Ventura border that everyone knows about but thanks to an inconvenient hike  and no easy way to check it the place is seldom surfed.  This was actually the first time I ever surfed the spot always opting for the more easy access waves.  My boy Ryan called me and said there were killable little bowls coming through and surf enough the place was a fucking chest to head high skate park.  It was a little windy but for a 45 minute window I had a blast.  Did I mention Ryan and I had he whole place to ourselves on a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon?

2. 7/5/11 AM Session: 1-3+ft, Rincon
Time in Water: 1hr 45mins
Waves Surfed: 25
Rincon in July!?!???!! I know its crazy.  I heard rumors all weekend that there had been been waves at the ‘Con and not just the usual little long board waves typical of summer, but actual short board-able waves.  This morning with the near negative low tide and some time for a change I thought I would give it a look.  Sure enough there were really fun waist to chest high waves coming through.  I was pumped.  I always forget how good Rincon is, even on the bad days.  I spent the entire session up at Low Indicator and High River Mouth.  If it were winter I would not have even entertained the session but in summertime with near piss warm water and 80 degree sunny weather, why not.  I was burning up in my 4/3 and almost shedded it for the trunks I had in the car.   Have I mentioned how much I love Rincon on this blog yet?  One thing is that will always hold true is that she will never leave me for some unworthy dufuss.  Yeah she is a whore, but she always sets aside her best for me.

1. 7/29/11 AM Session: 4-6+ft, Some Where in the Channel Islands
Time In Water: 4 hrs
Waves Surfed: 39
See Blog: A Sea Going Voyage:  Part II; Quality Ocean Time for details and See Blog: A Sea Going Voyage Part III; I Didn’t Expect that to Happen. 

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A Trip Back East

Posted in Music, News From Lisanti Land, Surfing, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on August 23, 2011| 8 Comments »

Where have I been you ask?  I really hope no one is posing this question.  There was a time when my life could have been like one of those “Where’s Waldo” books.  These days I am rather happily complacent (complacent is a stretch) at my quaint Santa Barbara home.  To be honest I am rather happy, at least the happiest version of Chris Lisanti I have yet to know.

For the last seven days I have been running amuck back in my old stomping grounds Manasquan, NJ and the East Village, NYC.  Life is funny, five months ago if you told me I would be sitting in an airport terminal at Newark, NJ in August writing a recap blog I would have made some strange PHSSSSST type sound effect and cruised.  Here I am.

Proximity

How did I get here?  It all started with a night of depression drinking followed by a series of parties.  That’s right every now and again my reckless lifestyle puts forth an opportunity.  I met this incredibly nice guy, Ken at a party of a mutual friend.  We got to talking and next thing I know he was calling me to work on some music with him for this original play he was looking to put on over the summer.

At first I was hesitant, but I read the script and fell in love with the play, well I think it is the last few lines that always get me all choked up being a hopeless romantic despite my cavalier façade of a womanizer.  Then Ken played me some of the music and I was sold.  He had written one of the most fun contemporary scores I have ever heard for a show.  Being rather burnt out on doing any work what so ever for musical theatre this was saying a great deal.  I signed on not quite knowing what I was getting myself into.

I showed up to this potluck dinner at this ridiculous mansion up in the hills of Montecito, immediately thinking I was in the wrong place.  As usual I arrived about a half hour late.  I find it easier to walk into a party with everyone already there so I can case out the situation and make a stealthy escape if I find the scenario to be one of agitation.  Upon walking in the door I found myself being hugged by eight different people.

That was almost enough to send me running for the hills, but they seemed harmless enough and they were after all theatre people.  It was an amazing evening and the passion these young people had for their craft was mesmerizing to me.  They ended up sucking me in to their “family”, the Proximity family.  Being on my own again for the first time in two years it felt nice to belong to a group so full of goodness and love.

We delved into work and next thing I knew I found myself learning dance steps for a music video, on the beach dressed in all black running through the ocean like a banshee, playing saxophone at a benefit event in a group who’s style was deemed “electro-pop-funk” where I took the stage for the first time in eight years.  Then there were exhaustingly frustrating eight-hour rehearsals, tantrums, disagreements and finally the formation of a remarkable piece of work.

We ran three shows in Santa Barbara for a packed house and were well received.  I had friends in the audience who never even knew I played the sax and were blown away.  From Santa Barbara we were rushed out to NYC to do the show all over again in the East Village, the first time I would play in the city in ten years.  Life can be amazing at times.

NJ

 I took full advantage to of the opportunity.  I usually only get to see my family once a year at Christmas time.  The last time I was at the Jersey shore in the summer time was when I lived there four years prior.  I decided to build a few extra days in before the show to go spend some quality time with my folks and sister.  Truth be told I had been feeling a little bit home sick the last few months and wanted to remind myself why I left.

All I can say is that NJ is a hellhole.  Its hot and sticky even at 2am in the summer and then in the winter you freeze your ass off.  No thank you, I will take the predictable moderate climate of Santa Barbara any day.  The surf was flat the entire time yet some how I managed to break my toe while fucking around in knee high surf finless.   If you want to know more about my Jersey surf sessions visit the surflog.

It rained nonstop for two whole days and was deemed by the weather service a record rain fall for that time of year.  Seriously?  Last time I was home for Christmas I got dumped on by five feet of snow and was stuck inside for three days.  The last time I surfed in NJ before this trip I cut my foot open requiring eight mattress stitches and severed a tendon that never really healed correctly.  That is what you get when you don’t have medical insurance boys and girls.  I am telling you New Jersey hates me.

I did have a grand old time on the party scene, getting to pre game with my boys Kiefer and Greg P at his pad in Asbury, met up with my old roommate and downtown SB partner in crime Cory Kisiel, which lead to a black out, old habits die hard.  Kooky Kyle brought me by the Porch to catch up with none other then Bojangles and Scotty B.  My friend Micheala took me to some fun bar in Asbury that had plastic sand pails full of rum (that was a mistake).  Kooky, Val and I went to some bar in Avon that had tiny little 8oz beers for a $1 where I ended up getting absolutely sloshed for $13.

Kooky and I hit on some random girls just to show my sister what a lurk was all about.  I pretended to be from California, but it went horribly wrong.  As it turned out they knew me from when I lived in NJ and call me out. “Your name is Chris Lisanti right? Weren’t you a pro surfer?”  We slunked away defeated into the corner and had a laugh and half about it.  They were ugly anyway and lucky I even talked to them.  It was only to entertain Val who was nice enough to be my designated driver.  I have a woman I am seeing back in Santa Barbara right now who as far as I am concerned is far better looking, intelligent and straight up more amazing then anything Jersey could even try and temp me with.

I even ran into former Jerseyite Beth Anne, now living in Laguna, but was in town visiting her family as well.  As usual we exchanged the same words “I hate this place, can’t wait to go back to California”.  I bumped into former Lisanti Land character Jiggles, who I barely recognized thanks to a major weight loss.  I guess we should not call him Jiggles anymore.

Catching up with my family was as good as it ever could be.  Besides a few tiny scuffles my mother and I got on famously.  We had some quality walks on the beach, I cooked a few scrumptious dinners, and breakfasts, including banana fosters waffles.  I think everyone gained a few extra pounds on my stay.  My parents and I played a round off golf at the course I used to be the assistant greens keeper at (I asked if the same horse’s ass owned it and I could immediately tell by the look in the girl’s eyes who took our fare that it was, look for an odd jobs on that job one of theses days).  Apparently they have been practicing cause they stomped my ass.  I was easily fifteen strokes behind.  I think it is just that I play better high and the chronic in NJ sucks, on top of being highly illegal.

On my last day I even got to catch up with my good old friend and one of my very first minions, Sorbo.  If you remember back to the myspace.com days he was almost killed in a horrific motorcycle accident.  Since then I guess he has been just floundering trying to figure out his next step in life.  We ended up bombing some hills in the Brielle Cemetery together.  I had not skated that since I was in high school.  I gave him a passport to Lisanti Land and an open invitation.  I really hope he takes me up on it.  A little time out in my world I think will do him a bit of good.

NYC

The last time I was in New York City was also four years ago and my time and a good deal of my money was spent at these gnarly ultra private clubs in the meatpacking district.  I am talking about places with no sign that look like an abandoned building, but then were super luxurious inside.  This time I was there on business to help tell the story of Shandy Wilkes through the melodic prowess of my soprano saxophone.

The show ran from Thursday the 18th to Saturday the 20th at the Robert Moss Theatre in the Village.  Initially I was far from impressed by the capacity of the small sound stage.  As soon as I pulled out my horn and began to blow I fell in love with the room.  By far one of the best sounding spaces I have played in.

Taking the train in everyday was quite the three-hour adventure, driving from my parents’ home in Manasquan to Metro Park, 45 minutes.  Taking the train from Metro Park to Penn Station another 45 minutes, then finally walking from 32nd street to 4th street in the village around another thirty minutes or so.  It was fun for the three days I had to do it.  If I had to commute into the city every day like most workers do I would kill myself.

Friday night’s show went down in front of a packed house, standing room only at times.  I felt in my opinion it was the best I had seen the actors perform the show.  I was blown away and that is saying a lot for me.  Saturday I went into the city with my parents, where we met up with my aunt and ejoyed a nice Italian dinner before heading over to theatre.  It was the first time my parents have heard me play live in ten years.  They really enjoyed the show, although no comment was made about my personal playing either way.  From my mother that means it must have sounded good cause although not apt to give a complement she is the first to criticize.

All in all I would have to say it was one of the more enjoyable trips I have had back to my childhood home.  Still it is very nice to be back in California, which really feels like home to me. One thing I will say and maybe this is me getting sentimental in my old age is that I felt a bit sad to be leaving my family behind for another six months till Christmas.

A special thanks goes out to Micheala for filling Nick the Kook’s shoes in his absence, being in Chile, driving me to surf, lending me a board and helping me stay in the party.  Sorbo gets a salutation for helping me pack and ship some new threads I bought. For those of you who don’t know him, Sorbo is a master at the art of packing and shipping.  Kooky Kyle and Cory Kiesel for buying me one two many drinks and my folks for being decent to me.   And my boy Ryan back in California for holding down the fort.  Thanks everyone, with out you Lisanti Land would be not half as fun.

Here are some really terrible photos I took with my cell phone.  Enjoy and thanks for reading.

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