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The Great Escape From Mission St. (Blast from the Past 2009)

February 20, 2011 by clisanti

Before I get into writing this blog or reposting it rather let me just say that Kooky Kyle is a mother fucking internet animal and SurfingRuinedMyLife.net all star of all stars.  Last night I threw out a challenge to all my readers and UCB enthusiasts alike to go back into the Lisanti Blog Myspace archives and dig out the blog I wrote back in October of 2009 about the painful loss of my cats Alfie and Turtle of which only one returned (Alfie) and post it in the comments.  Well sure enough who got down and dirty and pulled it up; none other then the phantasmagorical mad man Kooky Kyle.  For his efforts he will be awarded two UCB points, not like he really needs them to stay on top anyway.

I for one am totally appreciative for his efforts.  Thanks buddy, your the man.  I promise if you actually make it out to Santa Barbara this year to take extra care that your Chris Lisanti Adventure Tour is all that and a bag of chips. So the following blog was posted on October 24 2009: (as usual notes I jot down in Red was added to give my thoughts on the issue at this most current posting)

About almost three weeks ago or so my cats escaped from my wholesome abode thanks impart to my roommate Brennan getting drunk and passing out with the door wide open on a Friday night. He calls me at like 4:30am frantic and still rather drunk, all upset that the cats were lost and I had to come home and find them. I replied “Dude its 4:30am your drunk, Im tired as hell, its pitch black outside, we don’t have a flashlight and they are black cats. Go to sleep its not going to happen tonight”. I was really banking on them coming back in the morning as they always have in the past when an escape takes place.

In Brennan’s defense my lazy ass never got around to fixing the front door, which due to some rotting wood was tricky to stay closed in the frame (remember that mental check list I referred to a few weeks ago in Groovin’ High? Well this was one of the things that was on it). Heck it is hard to close that door sober let alone shit faced. It took me about three weeks to realize this fact. Initially I wanted to kick the door to his room in and hack him to pieces with an ax Dostoyevsky style (at the time I was engrossed in reading Crime and Punishment, a master piece in Literature by the way). Since then he has long since redeemed himself. Im glad that is the case I really did not want to have clean up that mess and then drive all over town dumping his individually bagged body parts in random garbage pails, although I probably would have eaten some part of his remains just to see what human tastes like. I bet it just tastes like chicken anyway.

Alfie as expected came home in time for breakfast the next morning and has been home and safe ever since. Turtle however has not been so easy. For a period of about a week he lurked around the premises running under the house every time an attempt for him to be caught was made. We had a chance one night when we cornered him in the garage, myself, Brennan and my neighbor, white trash Travis (this dude was a class A California red neck constantly working on this beat up 1960’s VW Bug, ass crack showing and all). Unfortunately I was a bit drunk after drinking 2 shots of jager and some rum after getting worked up about the whole cat situation and a not so stellar conversation with my mom about the situation. As usual the missing cat was all my fault cause Im irresponsible, a careless low life bum with out a real job. Yeah mom Im sure that is why he ran away you narcissistic bitch (no hostility there).

Net result was the cat gave us the slip by running out the back of a parked car, passed my drunk ass and then did a six foot vertical leap over a fence and was gone (to this day I have never seen a cat jump that high). Next day Travis and Brennan came through with raccoon traps. First night we caught a possum that freaked out and shit all over the place. The second night we successfully captured Turtle. I was not at home, but apparently Brennan brought him up stairs, let him out of the trap and Turtle as usual went nuts and then ran into my room. Brennan went to check on him and heard a tear. Turns out Turtle tore through the screen and jumped out the window. He has not been seen or heard from since.

We continued to put the traps out all week. We caught the same possum again. This time Brennan took him up to the Mission about a mile or so from our house, to prevent him from continuing to spring the traps and a very nice new home I might add, that is a very desirable neighborhood to live in. We did that little guy a favor. Yesterday we caught a skunk the exact scenario we had feared since the inception of the traps. After leaving him there for over 48 hours Brennan finally freed him this morning. The thing sprayed all over the place so now it stinks all around my house and when I left for work this afternoon the stupid beast was still in the trap.

After all this still no sight of Turtle.  At this point Im going to assume he has moved on to a better place (inside a Coyote’s belly), hopefully one still on this plane of existence. Monday I am going to check with all the local animal shelters to see if anyone has turned him in. Overall its pretty shitty since now I only have 50% of the cats I started out with and after I shelled out over a grand to get them both out here, moved off the Mesa for their sake and spent $50 in anti flea paraphernalia. Plus Turtle was like a son to me, sure he was a fucked up hairy little black kid, but mine none the less. Turtle where ever you are I hope your pimping it. I miss you buddy. Please come home.

As you may have figured Turtle never returned.  Since then Brennan and I are still friends and I no longer wish to kill and dismember him.  If you missed out on yesterday’s blog The Paradoxical Plight of the Eunuch Cat check it out cause it is sort of a type of precursor to this one.

Alfie and Turtle circa 2004

Turtle as a kitten, circa 2003

In addition to receiving extra UCB points Kooky also wins one "dont ask dont tell" weekend with this sexy creature. Its on its way to your place at this very moment Kooky!!!!

Posted in Blast from the Past: 2009 | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments »

The Paradoxical Plight of the Eunuch Cat

February 19, 2011 by clisanti

This week’s UCB makes a victor of John Mauriello with a topic that I was not going to write until my boy JD on his recent visit out here this week also brought up the same subject.  What am I referring to?  “Do you think Alfie is pissed off that he can’t have sex”?  Believe it or not this topic comes up more times then not in my house when we are all sitting around shooting the shit.

If you don’t know who Alfie is by now then you’re either new to this blog or retarded.  So just in case you’re in the dark here at SurfingRuinedMyLife.net let me enlighten you.  Alfie is my all black cat, the remaining feline out of the two black cats I had shipped out here from New Jersey.  Turtle the other cat escaped from my home when I lived up near the Santa Barbara Mission never to return again.  Odds are he is probably living it up eating trash and the like, but I like to believe he got eaten by a coyote.

There were a good number of blogs on the great cat escape back in the Myspace.com days a year ago or so.  If you missed them they are some where in the depths of my myspace.com profile of which I believe there is a link to on the home page of the site you are now on.  It happened around November 2010 if you’re so inclined to go looking.  Good luck.  If you do find it copy and paste the entire blog into the comments of this blog and I will give you Two UCB points for this quarter!!!!!

So Alfie is now my remaining cat and is joined by his new partner in crime Mustafa (see Cat Calamity for more on who Mustafa is), whom consequently is also a eunuch.  Honestly do I think Alfie is pissed off he cant have sex?  My answer has to be absolutely not.  I don’t even think he has the slightest inclination towards sexual desires what so ever.  Alfie was neutered when he was only six weeks old or so.

Technically he never reached sexual maturity thus eliminating any desire to want sex.  Now this was just my belief, but since I was sure there was definitely scientific research on the subject I did a little investigating.   What I found is that 85% of all male cats neutered at a young age do not have sexual desires.  There is a small group that on occasion some of the testicle is left inside the cat and in which case that cat would then still develop sex hormones.  Alfie is not of the latter group.

I don’t believe that he is pissed off that he cannot have sex.  Alfie in my opinion is rather happy and content in the microenvironment I have created for him.  Besides Mustafa being a pain in his ass half of the time these days he has it as good as can be.  He gets three solid yummy cat meals a day, Ades throws him the occasional cat treat and when ever Im carving meat that I am going to cook he gets all of the fatty ends and scrap.  I would say as far as a cat’s life goes his is top notch.

Sex is the last thing on Alfie's mind

Speaking of Eunuchs here is a great clip from Mel Brook’s History of the World Part 1

What most likely became of Turtle 😦

This Lady may have eaten the Coyote afterward though.

Posted in User Choice BLog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Big Name Pros, Stupid Car Surfing and Aggressive Line Up Tactics

February 18, 2011 by clisanti

It must be just another day at Rincon and more trials and tribulations with the occasional pot of gold at the end of the rainbow here in Santa Barbara.  It all went down yesterday (2/17/11) in what I thought was going to be a complete and total skunking.  The night before all signs pointed to some very good conditions for a surf on this faithful day.

There was plenty of WNW swell mixing in with new NW swell and the winds were suppose to be somewhat light or variable.  Early on the wind was down, unfortunately I had class making a dawn patrol out of the question.  I got home at 9am and the wind had already changed to SW, or the devil winds, as we like to refer to them here.

Distraught, since the thoughts of getting either El Capitan or Sand Spit dancing in my head since the previous night were now shattered, I decided it best for us to wait for the tide to drop and hope for the best.  The wind went more WSW and JD and I made the Hail Mary play for El Capitan despite the poor winds.  Sometimes miracles happen and back when I worked at this NJ surf camp we always told the kids to live by the phrase “you don’t know unless you go”.

Indeed go we did.  As soon as we got up to the Gaviota Coast the wind was whipping twice as hard and El Cap was an absolute mess to our dismay, but was as I expected.  We watched it feeling rather dejected before opting to make the run back south to Rincon and just make or break it there.  As soon as we got to the Rincon the wind let up a bit and the sun came out.   The surf was solid head to overhead with bigger sets up top and side shore off shore conditions.  Upon checking it we saw someone surfing regular just destroy this head high wave through the cove making a near impossible first section across high Cove.

Then I noticed there were three cameras on the beach and put two and two together.  It was none other then Kelly Slater doing what he does best, killing it.  For JD it was a real treat to surf with the champ in person.  He had on this weird ass blue and black wetsuit with one white sleeve and gloves, but no boots.  The crowd was still rather light only about twenty five guys or so in the Cove and maybe another twenty up top.

JD gave the top a go while I as usual hit up the cove.  I jump in just as a solid set was approaching.  This overhead one comes right to me and I was the deepest. I saw Slater paddling in on the shoulder and was like man maybe I should give the wave up to the champ.  Then I thought fuck that he gets tons of great waves everywhere he goes.  This one is mine and besides out in the ocean he is just another surfer just like anyone else trying to get waves.  Rincon is my spot now so fuck it and I went.

I was pretty deep and was not sure I was going to get around the foam ball anyway.  I came around the foam ball just as Slats was starting his first cut back.  I hit it straight up and down behind him.  Then he did another whip around and as he was coming out of the turn he got hit by the spray from my second reo.  He gave me an aggravated look and then pulled off.  I hit that wave another fifteen times taking it all the way to the call box.

On the paddle back out I was definitely getting stares by people and heard whispers “That guy just picked one off Slater”.  Some kid, probably from the Valley or LA (same difference) said to me “I can’t believe you just took a wave off Kelly Slater”.  I looked at him and said “Who’s Kelly Slater, just another surfer like you and I” and paddled away.  Then I started thinking maybe that was a bad idea and I should have given the wave up to him like everyone else does out there.

I think Slater should be able to appreciate the fact that I want to surf a good wave as much as he does.  Then three waves later I did it again, but Slater did not go this time.  He pulled back as soon as he saw me drop into it twenty yards deeper then him.  That one went all the way through too.  There was some crazy modeling shoot happening mid point that has been going on all week, super professional too.  It looked like a pretty serious shoot.

Slater kept stopping at that house every lap up the point for whatever reason.  About my sixth wave, a real bomb might I add about mid cove on the paddle back out, I was beat on paddling back out and way too far down the point anyway.  I made the walk back and as I was walking up the point Slater’s videographer looked right at me and I though he was going to give me shit for taking that wave off Slater.  Instead he yells “Crazy backside attack, so nuts”.  I was stoked to be acknowledged by a dude who films surfing all day long and someone of Kelly’s esteem.

Female pro Sally Fitzgibbons was out absolutely destroying it.  JD actually had a great session for a change.  It was a solid day of surfing.  The only thing that could have made it better would have been if there was less wind and chop, but then the crowd would have been triple.   I ended up surfing almost four hours and could barely walk when I got out of the water.  What a day.

Posted in Surfing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Where Have All the Blogs Gone?

February 16, 2011 by clisanti

By now you have most likely noticed that the number of blogs I have written per week has steadily dropped.  For that I am sorry.  Let me assure it is not because I have lost interest.  On the contrary.  The fact is my life is very busy right now, leaving me very little time to do much of anything.  Between work, school, helping out at J7 and surfing I have a full plate on my hands.  I cant remember the last time in my life I was this bogged down with shit.

It has gotten so bad I only can fit in around 8-10 hours of surf time a week.  Check the surf log in you dont believe me.  I work five days a week eight hours a day and then have school and J7 duties on my two not really days off.  Throw in homework and at the end of the day I am fucking exhausted.  My brain is just over loaded.  I cant even collect my thoughts most of the time let alone sit down and write something worth reading (not that most of what I put down here is).

Im doing the best I can for now.  I hope you all will bear with me if I miss the occasional Recipe D’Jour blog or a UCB gets written on Saturday instead of Thursday. Or the fact that Groovin’ High has not had a new up day in so long I cant remember the last entry, not that anyone bothers to check out that one anyway.  Everyone can forget about the coffee table for at least the next three months.  All I have to say about that is the table is an eyesore and a half, has been spilled on the bare wood some many times I lost count and in all honesty is too big for my living room anyway.  Still I hope to one day finish it or smash it in a fit of frustrated rage.  Which ever the case Im sure it will make an entertaining blog.

Dont despair, The Surf Log will be updated nearly everyday, if not everyday.  I think there has only been about two days that I did not get a chance to log in a session.  As I have always said the surf log is like a miniature blog within the blog that chronicles a diary like account of my daily surf escapades however insignificant.  If you are really in Lisanti Land withdrawal I hope the surf log will help you through it.  The one thing I can promise is that the UCB will still happen weekly as long as new topics and interest flows in.

I just thought I would let everyone know what was going on with me these days and to reassure everyone (all three of you) that I have not abandoned SurfingRuinedMyLife.net.  All this aside I will do my best to write as much as is possible considering my new assiduous schedule.   Bare with me and we will let the internet good times roll.

Here is a picture of a good old fashion cock fight. I hope it will hold you over till the next blog.

Posted in Life, News From Lisanti Land | Tagged , , | 2 Comments »

Chicken Fried Rice

February 15, 2011 by clisanti

Yummy in my tummy tum tum...Fried Rice

Fried Rice

I love fried rice, one of my favorite items out of Asian cuisine.  My parents always would get pork friend rice for us to enjoy every time we went out for Chinese food.  I finally buckled down and learned how to do it myself.  Sure its not as good as those Chinese do it but its a pretty good white person imitation.  For this recipe I used chicken but it can be done as just rice and used as a side dish or vegetarian dish if you leave out the eggs, or the chicken can be substituted for pork, beef, or even tofu. The first time I made it was with fried tofu.

Feeds 4-6 People
Total Cost: $11.50

Ingredient List:

  • Egg – 3 (Scrambled)
  • Chicken – 1 Breast
  • Sesame Oil – ½ Tablespoon
  • Soy Sauce – 3 Tablespoons
  • Cooked White Rice – 3 cups
  • Peas – 14 oz
  • Celery – 2 Stalks (chopped)
  • Bok Choy – 1 (chopped)
  • Water Chestnuts – 6 oz (Chopped)
  • Red Bell Pepper – ½ (Chopped)
  • White Onion – ¼ (Chopped)
  • Green Onion – ½ cup (Chopped)
  • Garlic – 1 clove (minced)
  • Salt  – to taste
  • Pepper – to taste
  • Cayenne Pepper – to taste
  • Chili Pepper – 1(minced)

Step 1: Cook White Rice – See cooking white rice blog

Step 2: Fry Chicken– Add Sesame Oil into wok, heat it and add Chicken Breast chopped up.  sprinkle chicken with salt, black pepper and cayenne pepper.  Cook until golden brown.

Step 3: Scramble Eggs – In  small frying pan scramble eggs

Step 4: Prep Vegetables – Chop all vegetables to be used as described on the ingredient list.

Step 5: Sautee Vegetables and Add Rice – In a Wok with the chicken, Sautee White Onions in Sesame Oil.  Add rest of vegetables and soy sauce.  When vegetables are all adequately soft add in rice and mix.  Add in green onion and mix. When everything is properly blended and hot you are finished.

Ade's gives it two thumbs up!

Posted in Recipe D'Jour | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Those Carrying a Little Weight People

February 12, 2011 by clisanti

This weeks UCB (dont you love how we have completely moved UCB to Saturday this quarter) brings Kooky Kyle back to the winners circle with another one word submission “fat people”.  Fat people is both a controversial subject and yet a rather serious one as well.   It is definitely a topic not to be taken lightly, but surely inappropriate enough for this bl0g.

I used to hate fat people.  I just did not understand how they got that way in the first place.  No one is born fat, well I guess technically everyone is born with more proportional fat to bone ratio, but that is more for survival purposes.  I wasn’t.  I was born only weighing three and half pounds and was so small I was yellow.  Life was bullshit for me right out of the gates.  I should have been born dead.   That is another story for another blog.

From that very tiny baby sprung a tiny boy and to this day I am a small man only weighing in at just over 140 pounds.  So one can see how fat people have me dumbfounded.  I have never been fat.  I don’t even know if I have an ounce of fat on my body.   It is not because I do not eat.  On the contrary I eat a massive amount of food, probably enough for two people.  I just dont gain weight.

Im not about to get into fat people here cause I like I said I dont understand it and cant comprehend it.  If one has a tendency to get fat then there is an easy remedy to that problem: DO NOT EAT SO MUCH.  If you are in a Fat Bastard situation where “I eat because Im unhappy and unhappy because I eat”  go seek psychological help.  There are plenty of head doctors who can help with that problem.   If none of the above seem like something you are interested in then there are plenty of great plastic surgeons out there who will suck that shit right out of you for a healthy fee.   I heard if you fly to Thailand or India you can get liposuction for like half the price of the US.  If your a disgusting beached whale of a human there is help for you.

Enough on my thoughts on fat people.  I would like to tell a short tale about one of my earliest surf trips and an encounter with a jumbo sized human being that left me sick to my stomach.  When I was 19 I took a trip over to San Diego to go surf for a week or so.  I got to the plane on time and everything was going quite well. I always try to sit over the wings on an airplane for a couple of reasons.  Number one it is usually the exit row meaning lots of leg room and the possiblity of being a hero in the rare unfortunate occurrence of some happening that involves the immediate disembarkment of the airplane.  You got me.  I dont want to be a hero.  I just want to be the first off the plane in an emergency, sort of like George in that Sienfield where he pushed the grandma and little kids over and ran out the door at a party when a little fire broke out.

Im sitting there in my seat with my disc man on (no ipods back then kids) reading a surf mag waiting for the plane to take off when I see this huge behemoth a person come barreling down the aisle.   I though the plane’s landing gear was going to break this guy was so big.  He had to be at least 500 lbs. His folds of fat were hitting people in the head as he passed by their seats.  It was nauseating.

Who’s row did he stop at?  You guessed it, mine.  He looks at me and says thats my seat right there.  He was the middle and I was in the aisle and then there was some poor women in the window seat.  Fatty sits down and his blubber comes over both arms rests on each side of him completely enveloping them.  Some of which spilled onto my person.  There was so much fat his tee shirt of which material could have created an entire wardrobe for me could not conceal.  It was gross and slimy.  He had an odor of rotten eggs.  I wanted to kill myself.   I would have rather sat in the lavatory on the toilet the whole flight.

Then he hit the call button and requested a seat belt extension.  As it turns out he needed two to fit around his body.  I think he should have been forced to purchase his own row or plane for that matter.  Once we were in the air he pulled out a plate lunch of fried chicken, pizza and French fries and went to town. It was gross and I am getting the shivers up my spine just writing this.  By far it was the worst flying experience of my life, which by the way was another topic requested by Kooky.  Look at that two birds with one stone and only the points of one blog.

Pretty much about the size of the guy in my story.

"How did we get so fat" they ask? Well I would say the proof is in the pudding.

This has nothing to do with fat people but I came across it while looking for pictures of "hot female midgets" and got what you see here.

Posted in User Choice BLog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments »

Lisanti Book Club, Book VIII: Chronicle of a Death Foretold

February 7, 2011 by clisanti

Book VIII: Chronicle of a Death Foretold, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, published 1982, 120 pages.

Garcia Marquez is a great author to read.  His writing just flows so nicely.  This is the third book I have read by him originally turned on to his works from my old roommate Brennan.    So far I have not been disappointed.  I mean The dude won a noble prize (Marquez that is not Brennan) so I figured he is always worth a read.  They only award those things to really talented people.  Maybe I will get one for my wonderful works here at Surfingruinedmylife.net then again probably not.  Plus I scored it at a yard sale for like a quarter.

This novel is South American Literature thus taking us  on the quite the reading tour of the world in the last three book club entries.  Its a short read and truth be told I am almost half way through it so if you want to follow along you better get reading.

Summary of Book VII: Boule De Suif & Selected Stories

Book VII was a very entertaining and enjoyable read.  Then again what would one expect from a protege of Flaubert.  Most of the stories are no more then ten to fifteen pages ranging from topics such as war, erotica, social interaction, romance and adventure.   It is definitely a great collection of short stories and I whole heatedly recommend you give it a read if you have not already (what you mean you dont religiously keep up with the Lisanti Book Club reading?  Astounding!) .

Posted in Lisanti Book Club | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Making Potato Hash Browns From Scratch

February 6, 2011 by clisanti

MMM mmm Good!

Making Hash Browns from Scratch

Hash browns are probably one of my favorite things about breakfast and I love all things about breakfast. Well maybe not grits all that much, but that maybe be a result of me not being brought up in the South.  The beauty of hash browns is that they are simple, cheap and fast to make.  Follow these instructions and you will have a perfect breakfast side dish to go with anything.  Pair it up with my French Toast for the ultimate breakfast.

Total Cost: $2

Feeds two people

Ingredient List:

  • Potatoes – 2 (Shredded, 1 potato per person)
  • Butter – 1 ½ Tablespoon
  • Salt – to taste
  • Pepper – to taste
  • Vegetable Oil – 1 teaspoon
  • Onions (optional, I don’t use them, but have seen it done that way, diced)

 

Step 1: Prep Potatoes – Peel potatoes making sure to pick any brown or black spots out of it.  Shred potato on the large grate of a cheese grater.  Pat dry finished shredded potatoes with a towel.  If you are going to use onions dice it and mix it in with shredded potatoes.

Shredded Potatoes post toweling

Step 2: Fry Shredded Potatoes – Melt one tablespoon of butter in a teaspoon of vegetable oil in a large frying pan.  When butter is completely dissolved add shredded potatoes and flatten out so it is less then an 1/8 inch thick.  Let fry on a little more then medium flame for about 5-8 minutes or until bottom side begins to brown.  While that is happening cut a ½ tablespoon of butter and break it into small pieces.  Put pieces sporadically on top of shredded potatoes.  Add Salt and Pepper as well.  When the bottom is cooked to your liking (I Like mine a little darker than golden brown) Flip hash brown over.  Now if you are cooking a lot of potatoes you may want to chop your hash brown into equal portioned squares with a metal spatula and flip each square individually. If you are only making the two person portion here then it is more then possible to flip entire hash brown. Salt and pepper the now browned topside and let sit on burner for another 5-8 minutes till the bottom is a similar quality as the one you just did.

This is how the hash brown should look when it is flattened in the pot.

Step 3:  Serve – Cut hash brown in half with a spatula or remove the portions you made in step 2 onto a plate with a paper towel or napkin on it to absorb any excess grease.  Then enjoyJ

 

Posted in Recipe D'Jour | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Kelly & Me

February 5, 2011 by clisanti

This weeks UCB makes a champion of John Mauriello asking a very apropos topic considering the theme of the last few blogs.  He asked I tell about the time Slater gave me one of the best waves I have ever gotten at Rincon and my in my life as well. I actually have two good Slater stories to tell both from the same time of year.  Truth be told both of these have been bloged about back in the myspace days but since it is near impossible for me to look up those archives thanks to Myspace.com’s terrible redesign I believe they may be lost forever.  I guess I will have a lot of retelling to do.

February 4 2008

It was my Birthday and my first winter at Rincon.  At the time I was sleeping on Cory’s couch and just sort of bumming around Santa Barbara.  I hated Rincon up until this faithful day.  Every time I went there I always got burned on the good ones and never seemed to pick the right ones.  This is a common novice complaint at Rincon.  To utilize the spot to its greatest potential one really needs to know where to sit and how to work the crowd.  Two entities that take plenty of time to figure it out.  Im still trying to get it wired.

Every time Cory and I would check Rincon I always bitched and moaned till we went some place else, usually Pitas, Little Con or Cstreet.  This day as we were passing by Rincon it was flawless 6-8ft with off shore winds and looked like a picture a day dreaming slacker would draw in his note book during math class.   Im talking waves as good as waves get.  The crowd looked heavy but the waves pretty consistent.  Against my will Cory forced us to surf it.

He jumped in at the cove as usual, while I went up to River Mouth.  As I was walking up there I noticed some one in a white wet suit directly in front of me.   People were taking pictures and videos.   It could be none other then Kelly Slater.  Him and I paddled out basically side by side through the river mouth and he snagged the first wave.  I had a couple of waves but nothing spectacular.

Then this solid eight footer swung wide and I was in perfect position.  I took off on the thing and it immediately walled up as it hit the sand bar and folded over.  I found myself standing straight up in a wide tube.  Im super deep but steadily making my way out as I went down into a pig dog for more speed.  As Im riding this thing in the barrel for an easy fifty yards people are screaming at me as they are paddling by.

Then right when I was about to come out I fell backwards but some how caught myself in a lay back thus running even deeper in the tube.  By the time I was mid way through this barrel section I looked out and saw Slater look in at me from the shoulder.  He hooted and threw a shaka my way.  Stoked I stood up and pumped out of the pit.  At that point I was at the top of the cove.  I hit the lip as I was passing by Cory who was all hoots.  I ended up call boxing that wave.  It was the first wave I ever call boxed at Rincon and it was on my birthday no less.

When I paddled out into the lineup Slater looked at me and said “that was a sick one”.  Im sure I blushed like an embarrassed little girl.

Mid Fed 2009

This is the story John was asking for.  Those of you who have been part of this blog from back in the Myspace.com days probably remember what a mess I was that year.  Sindia and I had just split up and I was for all extensive purposes partying way too hard subconsciously attempting to drink myself to death.  This session came about courtesy of my boy Brennan, whom with out his motivation would have never left the couch.  It was a Saturday afternoon in Mid-February and Im sure I went way too hard the night before thus sleeping in till well past one.

Brennan showed up around two-ish looking to surf.  I was just sitting down to breakfast at the frat house (it was not a real frat, but since nearly 12 guys ended up moving into my apartment it became an unofficial one).  At like 2:30 thirty we cruised to Rincon.  I did not even know if there was swell running or not I was so out of the loop.  Like I said back then I was a bit unfocused thanks to my mental and emotional state of affairs.

We walked down the trail and it was solid 6-8 ft Rincon super glassy and only about 100 guys out on the entire point.  All of a sudden I went from unmotivated to pure froth.  As I was running up to the river mouth I saw Slater snag one and just rip the shit out of it.  My first wave was a bomb up at low indicator.  This thing had to be solid ten foot if it was an inch.  I barely made the drop/bottom turn on my little 5’10.  When I came around the first section and into my reo some dude completely burned me.  I was moving and it was flawless Rincon so the sections were not too racy.

This dude and I ended up changing tracks a few times and just have a good old time for ourselves.  When the wave reached the cove, he pulled out, gave me a smile and I ripped the thing all the way to the highway falling off just forty yards from the call box because my legs were so tired.  After that wave I ran back up the point to do it again.

Upon paddling back out I saw Slater sitting up at low Indicator.  I sat next to him and made the usual surfer small talk as if he was no one special.  I most likely said something like its pretty fun out here and so on and so forth.  The stock standard surfer lineup bull.  This set came in and it was another group of solid ones.  We let the first one go and the second was just perfect lining up to be another epic ride.  Slater looks ate me and says do you want this one.  I was like really?   Then I turned and went for it.

That wave ended up being amazing.  I had something like two barrels on it and over twenty hits riding the wave from low Indicator all the way to double call box.  When Rincon is flawless it is more then possible to get rides that long.  To this day I think that was the best wave I have ever caught out there.  When I pulled off my wave l looked back and saw Slater finishing up on the one behind it.  I think I only had enough leg power left in me for a dozen or so more.

I ended up paying Slater’s kindness forward towards the very end of my session.  I was in perfect position for this eight footer in mid River Mouth.  As I was paddling for it I saw this chick having a look and I knew for a fact she had yet to get a good one.  Once I saw her paddling I gave her the nod and she got that wave all the way in.  I saw her out later that session and she was very appreciative and said it was most likely the best wave of her entire life.  You see what goes around comes around.  I can only hope that some day she returns the same kindness to some other frustrated surfer in need.

There is nothing like really good Rincon.

Posted in Blast From the Past, Blast From the Past: 2008, Blast from the Past: 2009, Surfing, User Choice BLog | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

25 Again!!???!

February 4, 2011 by clisanti

Today marks the 5th year in a row that I have turned 25 years old or was it 24, I cant remember anymore.  But seriously today is my 30th birthday and for the first time in my life I am not ashamed to admit to my true age.  Im proud to have lived for thirty years.  I mean that is quite an accomplishment especially for someone such as myself.  Sure Im not a fire fighter or crack whore where your life is on the line everyday but there certainly have been plenty of close calls.

If someone would have asked me at twenty if I expected to be writing a blog about me turning thirty my first response would have been “what the fuck is a blog and why would I ever want to waste my time on something as pathetic as that?” after which I would have scoffed and declared I would never make it to that old age.  I mean at twenty, thirty seems like a variable senior citizen.  Im awaiting the arrival of my AARP card in the mail any day now.

Its nice to finally not be embarrassed or feel forced to conceal my age.  Back when I was trying (in vain) to make it in the bullshit world of professional surfing anyone over the age of 25 was pretty much un-sponsor-able unless one had already made a name for oneself, which I had not.  So every years since my actual 25th birthday I turned 25 again.  Thanks to my “Portrait of Dorian Grey” like situation I could pull it off.  When I went home for Christmas I was looking at pictures of myself back in high school and then my Berklee days to see if I have been losing any hair and I noticed an alarming stigma.

I have not really aged in the last 15 years.  Yes I have grown a little bit more facial hair (mostly in my nose) and have a few stress lines on my forehead.  Besides that I look pretty much the same.  I weighted 135 lbs my junior year in high school now I fluctuate between 135-140 depending on how much I surf and eat.  I dont know what that says about me or if I made some inadvertent deal with the devil like our friend Dorian, but so far forever young.

I only wish my body would hold up just as well, unfortunately I definitely have three times more aches and pains on a daily basis then when I really was 25.  My back hurts nearly all the time, both my knees alternate on giving me shit and my neck hurts most days of the week.  In other words I have a very nice stock of ibuprofen and thank mankind for such a miracle innovation.

Besides that I feel pretty good.  My life is on a good track.  I have a decent job and am in school working towards becoming a chef.  Hopefully by the time Im 40 I can have enough money saved to get my Alpaca/Sheep/EMU farm/Vineyard in New Zealand I alaways talk about.  If I do you are all invited to come live and work on my land, Emma Wood Ranch forever.  Dont worry it wont be some hokey hippie commune or blue Nike wearing comet cult.

My surfing feels really good.  I know I had a ton of bad luck this past fall, but since then I am surfing better then ever.  A few of the older guys at Rincon have made a point to tell me how my backside attack at Rincon has finally come into its own.  I dont really know what that means per say but I would like to think it is something positive.  Hears to another year of living.  Hooray for me I managed not to get hit by a car, stabbed by a bum or mauled by a tiger or the infinite other ways to die.  Let me be the first to say Happy Birthday to myself (or the last considering it is 11pm).

Hooooooorahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Posted in Deep Thoughts, Life, Surfing | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments »

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