Mmmmm...Mango Salsa shown over a baked pork chop with white rice.
Mango Salsa is such a gourmet type of spread. Whenever I hear the phrase thrown out I always think of some fancy restaurant using it as a toping for some work of food art. Well in all truth creating a delicious mango salsa is super easy, rather in expensive and is sure to bring a positive light and many complements to any meal. Use this with pork, poultry, seafood, beef, rice, chips, just about anything you’re in the mood to spice up.
Total Cost: $6.35
Feeds 4 – 6 people
Ingredient List:
Cumin – 1 table spoon
Oregano – 1 teaspoon
Salt – 1 table spoon
Pepper – 1 teaspoon
Cilantro – 4 oz (minced)
Lemon Juice – 2 oz
Apple cider vinegar – 2 oz
Mangos – 8oz (chopped)
Red Onion – ¼ diced
Red pepper – ½ diced
Jalapeno Peppers – 2 diced
Garlic – 1 clove (minced)
Sugar – 1 teaspoon
Tomato – 2 (diced)
Chili Powder – 1 teaspoon
Step 1: Prep Fruit and Vegetables – Dice up red onion, red pepper, tomatoes and mangos. As far as the mangos go you can buy fresh mangos, cut them off the pit and then dice it up or you can buy pre cubed frozen mango and dice that smaller to fit your salsa. I prefer the frozen mango chunks for ease. Of course nothing is going to beat the taste of a fresh mango, but it is a bit work husking it from the pit and then dicing it. Next take the jalapenos (I use the mildest because Im a little girl when it comes to hot spices, but you can select yours accordingly), cut in half, chop the top off, then remove all the seeds and insides with a spoon. Dice the remaining jalapeno shell. Mince the cilantro and garlic. Place all prepped ingredients in a medium size bowl.
Step 2: Mix Wet Ingredients – In a measuring cup measure out and mix the apple cider vinegar and lemon juice (can be used from fresh lemons, but not necessary. I currently have a lemon tree in my back yard so I have the pleasure of fresh lemons whenever I so desire). Add the Cumin, Oregano, Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Chili Powder and stir.
Step 3: Put it all together – Pour your concoction from step 2 in with your diced fruits and vegetables from step one and thoroughly stir together with a spoon. Serve over whatever you wish to enjoy it with.
With announcement of our fall UCB champion, congratulations Kooky Kyle thus begins a new season for someone else to step up and dethrone the king. The first UCB will go down next Thursday January 20th and run all the way until April 1st. So get those thinking caps on and show Kooky that he is not the only one with great ideas or nothing better to do with his time. As always the first blog of the quarter is worth 1.5 points. If you take three in a row (hat trick) you get a bonus point thus getting a total for four points. As always there will be the elusive double points blog that only gets written if a topic is so deserving. Then there are always the random points I award just because I can. Remember this part of the blog is for you the reader and you can only get out of it what you put into it.
I will tell you, Kooky Kyle, who apparently stormed another quarter of the UCB taking I believe every single one the entire 2010 year. Kooky has dominated. Well one thing can be said for sure the kid is good at coming up with blog topics. Maybe he should start his own blog. I would like to say that there is some sort of prize for this great accomplishment (ok its probably on par with taking a big shit), but there is not, except for the pure satisfaction of winning, which my friends there is no sweeter prize on earth (bull shit I want Money!!!!).
Congratulations Kooky Kyle for being awesome on SurfingRuinedMyLife.net. I would also like to thank everyone that submitted entries. With out your input this blog would not be nearly as much fun. Right now its a barrel of laughs with just me writing, but when you add the UCB feed back it becomes a barrel of laughs tossed in with a barrel of monkeys and that my friends is a mother fucking boss ass good time. Wow that last sentence was boat load of gibberish.
Here is the break down of points for the Fall 2010 Quarter:
1st: Kooky Kyle – 8 points
2nd: Nick The Kook – 3.5 points
3rd: John Mauriello – 3 points
4th: Devin – 2 points
Salutations to all who’s names got on the board. Those of you who did not thanks for playing anyway. Remember you cant win if you dont play. If your unclear about what the UCB is or how points are accumulated feel free to check it out by clicking the UCB tab at the top right hand corner of the screen or click here. No submissions are turned away, no matter how small, dumb or serious. There are no small submissions only small submitters.
Here is a perfect example of what happens when you cross a barrel of monkeys with a barrel of laughs.
The big winner, Kooky Kyle himself having his own barrel of fun all to himself. Maybe whatever is in that bucket he is drinking from is the magic potion for coming up with great UCB topics?
Ridiculously moronic acts of localism in California and my adverse experiences with it has been a reoccuring theme here on SurfingRuinedMyLife.net. It seems every time we have a fresh instance the ante always gets taken up a notch. Well today my friends I witnessed at the expense of Nick the Kook one of the most asinine acts of localism ever. It all went down during a shitty, crowded, closed out sunset session at Pitas Point.
Forecasted swells out here are always a shit show, the situation becomes even more exacerbated when they fall on a weekend and during a wave starved winter. All of these entities came into play on this fateful day. After a great morning session at Rincon (see surf log for more on that) we came back to town and chilled out for a little bit, enjoyed a splendid lunch at the Habit (the best mother fucking burger joint in the world), had an audience with renowned shaper Jason Feist of J7 surfboards, and closed my bank account at the worlds biggest collection of economical rapists Chase Bank. Things were shaping out to be a remarkable day.
Then it all went so bad so fast. Expecting a shitty crowd everywhere we headed out with very low expectations. Rincon had over 200 people, Little Rincon was packed, Hobsons was crowded. Pitas had a good crowd but over looking around we resolved on giving it a paddle. Originally I was all for taking a nap in the car while Nick surfed, but then I saw some nuggy looking walls racing through the lower section of the point.
We get out there and with in the first ten minutes of the session I look back and I see Nick paddling for a stretched out one. I knew he wasnt going to get far but let him play it out. I guess this old guy in his late sixties, total geriatric was paddling for the same wave but a little farther down the ling. Nick as he was about to stand up for the wave got sandwiched between his board and the old guy’s. Before Kook got a chance to get free (all the while the wave peels by unridden) the old guy wound up and cracked Nick the Kook in the back of the head with an opened palmed Hay Maker!! A mother fucking open palmed hay maker!!!!! Who does that kind of aquamarine assault?
I will tell who: Old salty guys who are no longer able to keep up with the pack as a result of their withered body and take their frustration out upon others they feel to be weaker then them. All I see is nick rubbing his head completely dumbfounded while the old guy is yelling at him. “You must be from down South trying to pull a bullshit move like that. Your from LA are’net you? Well Im from here”. Nick completely confused and slightly maimed mumbled an apology and paddled over to me.
Initially I wanted to go get the guy and smash his face with a cobble stone, but then not being a person of value at Pitas and him knowing most of the other geriatrics out there we would have been ran out of the water and then embarrassingly had our asses kicked by a bunch of guys who were most likely sporting false teeth and Viagra. Needless to say we let it go. Poor Nick ended up with a ruined session and a nasty dent in the top of his head. I felt bad for him but in another light found it to be one of the funner Nick the Kook and Chris Lisanti Misadventures to go down.
Below is a dramatized photo re-enactment of what went down: (The part of the old man is played by Chris Lisanti, Nick as himself)
A female rapper with attitude and sex appeal, Lil’ Kim definitely knocked down some doors when she came on the scene. BIG’s discovery, mistress and protege proved her staying power lasting long after his time. All I can say is that Lil Kim has always done alright by me. Her beats and samples are always fresh and her words, as erotic as one can get even if they are borderline trashy and inappropriate at times. Crush On You is a great tune featuring Lil Cease and the video is pretty entertaining too. I want to go to that club.
December was all about periods of fun surf followed by periods of flatness. There was tons of rain and wind bringing near toxic water conditions and tricky surf conditions. Crowds were lighter then usual thanks to the weather not to mention that I think a bunch of people have already given up on surfing this winter it has been so bad. As far as Im concerned I had some great sessions in December. Unfortunately I was also plagued by a host of surf injuries mainly my lower back, knee and neck causing me to worry that my years of misuse are finally catching up to me. Here is how I made out in December of 2010 surf wise.
Number of Surf Session – 21 Days Surfed – 19 Average Wave Height – 3-4ft
Spots Surfed:
Rincon – 9 Juno Pier, Florida – 2 Civic Center, Jupiter FL – 1 South Jetty – 1 C Street – 1 Loons – 1 Sharks Cove – 1 Sand Spit – 1 Santa Clause Lane – 1 Stanley’s – 1 New Jetty – 1 Dredge – 1
Top 3 Sessions
3: 12/8/10 – 3-4ft, Loons Loons is a magical wave and a very secret and fickle one at that. When and if you happen to find and score it the reward will more then equal the toil. This session was solid chest to head high plus with a light crowd, glassy conditions and lines running an easy three hundred yards down the point. Read Sometimes Miracles Happen Blog for more on this stellar session.
2: 12/16/10 PM Session – 4-6ft, Dredge
My afternoon surf was purely based on the wind dying out, which luckily it did. I cruised to Rincon where it was perfect oil glass but only around chest high or so at Indicator. Discouraged I called my boy Ryan down in Ventura who was claiming Dredge was solid and no one out. Dredge never has no one out especially in the afternoon. I mean the place is the exclusive surf spot of the entire Pierpont community, a society made up of 90% surfers. Dane Reynolds lives there along with my good buddy Adam Virs. With no better options I took the advice and tipped my boy Kevin off as well who was just getting off work from making mass quantities of food. I got there and it was definitely well overhead on sets and although fast more then make able if you chose the right one. Of course by this time there were 5 guys out and about another ten in the parking lot frothing. There were plenty of waves and with the strong southerly current that always plagues Dredge the crowd was not a big issue, still I managed to get a long board to the head courtesy of this decrepit old guy who was blowing every set wave he paddled for. He very courteously ditched is board right in front of me after straightening off on an overhead close out. I came up from my duck dive into his board. Besides that I managed to get a ton of great rides and boosted a few huge backside airs but came unglued on the landings. I would have to say it was by far the best session I have had since Loons last week and one of the best in December.
1: 12/20/10 – PM Session – 6-8+ft, Rincon
Sometimes Christmas comes early and today it came early at Rincon. Epic Rincon is one of those things that happen at best a dozen times or so a winter and today my friends was just that. The day had a slow start with a super high tide, small swell and rain. I decided to stay in bed and wait for the afternoon of which I knew more swell would fill in. I checked the buoys at breakfast and it was 8 ft, by noon it was ten, by 2pm it was twelve by four, 14ft. The swell grew six feet in a matter of hours and that set the pace for the entire session. I got in the water at 1pm and it was about chest to head high and every hour it grew by two feet till the occasional ten foot clean up set would wash through. Up until today I had yet to legitimately call box a wave. My first three waves all went double call box and then I had about a dozen more that were single call box. I think the worst wave I caught all session I still managed to hit ten times, on average I got around 15 hits a wave. Soooooooooooooooo Gooooooooood!!!!!!
I think this picture embodies December perfectly here in Santa Barbara.
I think this guy needs to slow down and enjoy a little famine. Maybe that is metaphoric for how I look when Im frothing on a good day at Rincon
As always if you liked this blog visit the surf log where I update my surf sessions daily.
Book VII: Boule De Suif & Selected Stories, Guy De Maussant, Stories published from 1880-1890, 283 pages
Taking a break from English Literature I picked up this collection of short stories by Guy De Maussant. I cant remember the last time I read anything from the French and the last time I gave short stories a run was last December. I get a kick out of short stories and French writing is so erotic, even back then. Maussant was the protege of the renowned author of Madame Bovary, Gustave Flaubert. Madame Bovary being one of my all time favorite books I figured I had to check out the works of Maussant. Im about half way through already considering I started the book before my long trip home and did nothing but read for most of it. So far I am enjoying it.
For whatever reason Dickens is an author I have read very scarce. Considering he is one of the greatest of his time that is rather sad. That being said I found Great Expectations to be an enthralling read. I could not put the book down. The characters are all so unique and the plot amazing to the last sentence. If you have left this book out as I did for so long it is time to pick it up. You wont be sorry.
Pork is one of the undefined meats that people just don’t really know what to do with. It is also one of the more affordable meats to cook with. Luckily there are tons of seasonings and marinades out there to suit just about every taste. This recipe is for when you are feeling like you need to take a vacation to Polynesia for the evening and you don’t even have to get on a plane. I know when I need a mental vacation there is nothing like an exotic recipe to help get me there. I have used a pork loin roast for this example but the recipe can be applied to chops, ribs or other cuts of pork.
Feeds 4-6 People
Total Cost – 12.65
Ingredient List:
Pork Loin Roast – 3-5lb
Pineapple – 8oz (Diced)
Pineapple Juice – 8oz
Brown Sugar – 1 cup
Salt – 2 Table Spoons
Pepper – 1 ½ Table spoons
Sugar – 2 Table spoon
Teriyaki Sauce – 3 oz
Soy Sauce – 4 oz
Olive Oil – 2 oz
Thai Basil – 2 oz (Chopped)
Red Onion – 1/3 (Diced)
Ginger – 1 Teaspoon (minced)
Garlic – 1 Clove (minced)
Cayenne Pepper – Pinch
Green Onions – 3 oz (optional)(Chopped)
Step 1: Dry Rub Roast – In a bowl big enough to fit roast combine 1 cup of brown sugar, 2 table spoons of salt and 1 table spoon of pepper and mix together. In roasting pan pour pineapple juice (6oz) around roast (do not pour it directly over the roast or your dry rub will be washed away in the bottom of pan). Rub roast in spice mix till it is completely covered. Put roast back into pan so that it is swimming in pineapple juice. Bake in over for around One hour at 350. Sugar will caramelize on top making it look burnt, don’t worry roast will be fine.
Step 2: Make the Glaze – In a medium boiling pot combine Teriyaki sauce, Soy Sauce, Pineapple juice (2 oz), Sugar (2 tablespoon), Salt (1 teaspoon), Pepper (1/2 teaspoon), Olive Oil, Thai Basil, Diced Pineapple (8oz), Cayenne Pepper, Ginger and Red Onion. Bring to boil for three minutes while stirring then let simmer for 5-8 minutes. Thicken Glaze with a slurry if desired. (to create a slurry dissolve 1/3 corn starch to the amount of liquid in glaze in just enough water to dissolve cornstarch. Stir into glaze as it is cooling down. Add as much as necessary to get desired thickness. Note that sauce will thicken as it cools)
Step 3: Carve the Roast – Remove roast from oven. The top and sides will looked blacked and burned this is the caramelized brown sugar I talked about in step one. Pull off a good portion of it or how ever much you desire to remove then cut roast. Apply glaze from step 2 to finished product. Garnish with sliced green onions for both taste and look.
I was not going to write a blog tonight but then I figured it would be the last blog of the year and felt I ought to write something in celebration, New Years Eve being my favorite holiday of the year and all. I used get pretty gnarly on this wonderful night of drunken celebration, this year especially since it is bringing us just a year shy of the end of the world. Now I would like to say that I am going to party all night and wake up in a puddle of my own piss and vomit.
Unfortunately that is most likely not going to happen considering Im in South Florida visiting my parents , have a 8am flight back to SB in the morning and dont really know where the scene would be here or even if there is one. All probability really points to me getting trashed and walking to the weak looking sports bar across the street for the bells, before retiring home. Whatever, I party like its New Years Eve on a Monday sometimes. My time will come.
I thought I would take a moment to write the last UCB of 2010 and the winter quarter. Now this is not the double points blog. There was no topic suitable for such accolade so I canned it once again. Kooky Kyle wins sending in his request via text message last night and though not official I think he has taken the quarter as well. He asked me what I want to be remembered for after I die.
This was a thought provoking question. I spend most of my brain power mulling over stupid shit yet this topic never really came up. Well after a shit Florida wind chop surf session (see the surf log for more on that) that gave me plenty of time to consider the topic here is what I found.
First off I want everyone to remember what an asshole I am. I know funerals and remembrance always makes even Hilter look like a great guy in death, but lets not forget some of my weaker moments. The fact that if you invite me to a party at your house I will show up with atleast ten of my friends and we are more times then not going to wreck the place. I will sleep with your girl friend if she gives me the opportunity, most likely your mother, sister and grandmother as well. I dont have a great grasp on the word “wrong”.
Remember that I was there for you. No, I definitely missed the wedding you had me as the best man for because I got drunk the night before missing my flight. Yeah if you need me for something on a certain date odds are I will flake on it. But when your darkest hour of necessity comes and there is no one else to help Chris Lisanti will get your back.
Lastly I had a great mother fucking time. There is no doubt about it when I get into the ground it will be after a life well lived. My whole life since I was born has been about fun. Sure I bitch all the time, thats what I do. Im a whiner. The bare truth is I ring every last drop out of every second of every day I am breathing. That my friends is what I want to be remembered for and what I want everyone else to emulate.
Happy New Year
This is exactly how I want to remembered right here!
I don’t really know what is going on the with the weather this year but in the last two weeks I found myself right smack in the middle to rather unusual weather phenomena. Last week I was home in California just starting my cozy little three week winter break vacation. Friday the 17th was my last day and also what became the start of a six day monsoonal like rains and wind. When all was said and done, over 28 inches of rain later, the warm sunny California weather I moved there for returned. Conveniently the morning I had to catch a flight for cold dismal New Jersey.
It was not so bad; the storm brought fun waves and light crowds thanks to a combination of shitty weather and near toxic water quality. Sure it would have been fun to enjoy some sun and out doorsy type adventures before traveling to frigid weather that would for sure have me cooped up inside, but tis how things work out at times. I caught my plane and headed back east for the Holiday’s.
Christmas was fun. I realized I like my family when I only see then once a year. Nostalgia is always great in small doses. Went out Christmas night visited with some old friends, got faded (see Ohh that Nick the Kook blog), who could ask for more. So far so good. I had other visits and odd ends to tie up in the remaining two days I would be in town for. The trip was a quick smash and grab job. The smaller the increment the more likely I am to come back to this shit hole.
Then the mother fucking snow came. A little taste of snow I though might be cool. Its been years since I have seen snow. Maybe one inch or so, that could have been festive even. 21” fucking inches!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me, one of the biggest blizzards in New Jersey history. What are odds? In Lisanti Land I guess pretty fricken good.
My back injury finally worked in my favor for a change allowing me to slink out of any shoveling and there was a ton of it my friends. Not only was there the drive way but since the town neglected paving the streets (as it turns out two out of the three plows possessed broke down in an vain attempt at clearing the night before) my parents in earnest to get out to the airport tomorrow decided to shovel the street as well. Ironically the plow came by a few hours later. Patience is a virtue my friends.
As it stands now looks like Im on a plane to Florida at 10 am tomorrow as planned. Time will tell how that goes. The last time I was in New Jersey I lacerated my foot to the bone on a knee high wave and vowed never to come back. Two years later I give the place a second chance and it dumps more snow on me then I have ever seen in my life. New Jersey I get the point, you don’t want me here. Don’t worry I don’t have any plans to come back soon.
If I missed anyone on this visit Im truly sorry. I was very eager to catch up with so many different people. The sand in the hourglass has just about dropped. Maybe some other time, can’t tell you when that may be. Those of you whom I missed and you know who you are will always be welcome to visit out west where we may get earth quakes, wild fires, crazy mud slides and toxic water, but one thing I can guarantee is that there wont be any snow, unless you want to go find some. And anyone who has come out can attest there will always be good times.
My sister Val standing next to a five foot high snow drift.
Those black things in the background are cars buried up their roves in the street
Surfing Ruined My Life 